White Cherry Women
by YoyoWarrior
Summary: TyZula love fest. Azula is released from prison on her 18th birthday to live with her Uncle. Fluffy Fire Lord Zuko wants to make her "good". He wants to give her another chance. Boy, does he need a wake up call.
1. The Beginning

A/N: Well since I love Tyzula so much I figured I should at least _try _to write an epic multichapter fluff fest for my two favorite avatar girls. This chapter is just getting into the odd little premise of my fic, no real action yet.

Disclaimer: You have been disclaimed.

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**White Cherry Women**

People in sharp uniforms. Gold plated piping with aluminum underneath. Lights, lanterns, walls, and windows. Everything in the world had come out today in their sordid colors to wasp around her, flicker in her eyes then flit away. Nothing was constant. If something left a line of sight it would be meddling else were in a moment. Hearty little snap shots of pretentious nobles nursing teacups, turning saucers, talking about nothing and hearing nothing.

Around Azula the teashop moved as if under a strobe. There were no smooth movements or people with hearts and heads to walk among, just forever changing scenery. She clutched at her knees for what seemed like the thousandth time for an anchor, so she alone would remain unchanged, so she wouldn't disappear between the frames. Her eyelids dripped further and further shut as clear afternoon light shifted into glaring orange sunset and her sensitive eyes couldn't handle it.

No one told the teashop, however, that today was supposed to be a happy day. No one told the birds to sing and citizens to hold festivities. On her first day of freedom the sun was too bright, the people were too faceless and even worse she was as well. In prison at least people knew to fear her. They knew she was worthy of such a stir. Here she was washed straight clean, bleached, and given a new identity. Someone sad and sorry huddled alone in a teashop. From one prison to another, always watched, always controlled.

Downy black hair flittered in front of her deep golden eyes in the slight breeze wafting through. Not a single article of her clothing dared any like movement, however, as it clung uselessly around jutting bone and pasty white skin. She didn't have the energy in the morning to tie it up, to fetter over differentiating lengths and tight scalp pulling top-knots. No, not when for so long there hadn't been any need to be anything close to presentable for the dark forlorn stone walls and guards with dead eyes that never saw.

But she wasn't in prison any longer. The day she turned eighteen she'd been given a first class ticket to Ba Sing Se. She was awarded probation, because jail wasn't doing any good for her and she was only following orders and she was just a child after all. Fuzzy Fire Lord Zuko came up with reason after reason, all lies, all elaborations. He wanted his sister to live with Uncle to reform her, to make her "good". It had worked for him after all. Then maybe someday they could all sit together and drink tea or something.

Still freedom was freedom and Azula would never reject and offer to give her self the upper hand. She smiled and nodded smugly when being escorted from her cell. The first thing she did when arriving at The Jasmine Dragon was pen a letter thanking her darling Zuzu for becoming soft, for it seemed just like yesterday he was promising she'd never see the light of day again.

What to do with her new found freedom she hadn't yet decided. Planning a raid on the Fire Nation could take years. Then again was it even worth it? What was there in the Fire Nation but people who'd failed and disappointed her time and time again. Sure it would please her to rule over them for all of about a day, but what then? No matter which way she turned she was just sitting passive while the world took it's swings at her. Maybe it was just better that way.

"Hello there, Azula," A pair of lidded golden eyes shot open, then immediately closed over a threatening urge to tear up over the bright afternoon lighting.

"Yes, _Uncle_?" She rolled over the title venomously, "Is there something that you want?"

"Want, no, I don't want anything from you Azula. I just saw you sitting all alone over here and thought you could use some tea." A pudgy hand slid a little steaming tea-cup across the table. It smelt like astringent. Azula dared to lift her eyes for a moment to catch an innocent look on Iroh's face. He gave an exaggerated nod. "Come now. It will help you to feel better."

She lowered her head to hover over the cup and bathe in the steam, the heat, sliding her legs to the side to do so. A little cockney smile formed on her lips as she began to nurse the drink. "Is it spiked?" Her glistening eyes lifted to his face again to see him force a little laugh and shake his head. She lifted the thing and took a quick swig. "Then it won't help me."

Iroh sighed, "Listen to me. Nothing will ever be able to help you if you don't open yourself up to the possibilities." He punctuated his last word with a sweeping arch of his hands, "What ever help means to you, you'll have to decide, but trust me, you need it."

"Ah, Uncle," a frightening cackle bubbled over her lips, "If three years in prison wasn't your 'help' what exactly have I to fear now? Are you going to tie me to a bedpost and beat me with a stick until I start kissing babies and singing show tunes?"

"No, Azula, that is the tea's work." A large hand fitted itself stiffly over one of Azula's much smaller ones. "All I'm going to do is sit here and mind my own business." He began drinking his own tea looking content.

Help? It had started already. Everyone in the world was convinced that there was something wrong with her, that she was the one with the problem. It's all politics really. No one's ever really right except the one who wins and then every one else is defective. Poor Azula was nothing more than a war casualty left to fester and rot in a dank cell for being a revolutionary, for being an enemy of the government. Right and wrong are non-existent.

Her fiery eyes trailed up to a smiling Uncle. "I'm not sorry, you know? I'd do it all again. You're a fool just like Zuko." she took another sip of her tea, to let it burn on her tongue and spread its warmth.

"If that is what you think I can say no argument. We are who we are." He moved his hand that had been pressing on hers to the bottom of his teacup. "No manner of punishment can change a person's heart."

"Exactly, and I haven't one to change anyway. You are going to have to try harder, Uncle." Azula took another overly large gulp and scanned the room under partially lidded eyes. People were clearing out. It was getting dark.

Iroh laughed dumbly, "And what is it that I am trying? I'm just drinking tea and being a polite conversationalist."

Azula paused for a long moment, while letting her eyes follow on last person on their trek out the door. If they were alone she could simply off her beloved uncle and find a nice little Earth Kingdom village to hide out and plot. Surely that would be more conducive than hanging around a dry smelling teashop for the rest of her life.

In a halting motion she rose to her feet. Little slippery slippers adjusted to the rug beneath her. She let her eyes settle on Uncle watching him sip at his tea seemingly oblivious to her presence.

Oh, how easy it would be. Snap his neck in half of a second before he even had the chance to react. She would tuck him sweetly into bed for a horrified employee perhaps to find.

Instead, however, she turned, feet almost moving by themselves off into the little room where her makeshift bed sat waiting. All thoughts in her head turned dull, like an mindless drone. She striped off her smooth silk slippers and placed them orderly at the edge of her bedroll. Her tightly woven socks came next, folded and tucked into her slippers.

Sure she could have killed him easily, but why do what they were expecting of her? She had a whole lifetime of opportunities. And she hadn't had any sort of 'opportunity' for the longest time.


	2. The Precipice

A/N: Thank you my darlings for all the love you've given me so far. It means alot. Alert me of any mistakes you find. I'm a terrible... grammar person, and I hate it.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or settings.

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**Chapter 2**

Azula was not suited for manual labor. She was a mind. She was a planner, a general. Sure she could off a nobleman or two, shake a few blathering women, but this was ridiculous.

She'd never seen so many fools in her life. People talking up clients, mispronouncing teas, asking for _milk and lemon. _She'd half suspected most of the shop's consumers didn't even like tea, they just wanted to appear to for the sake of simple sophistication. The upper ring obviously thought highly of themselves and it showed in the way they talked to Azula, their humble server.

If they got themselves a cracked cup it was her fault, if their tea tasted funny it was her fault, if their date didn't go well it was her fault. But she took it professionally with a forcible smile and spit in their cup, a little trick Uncle had suggested.

Still it was not fun having to work like a peasant, at least compared to the amount of enjoyment she got from ordering those in her position around. She almost felt a twinge of sympathy for her proletariat brothers. Almost.

She was somewhat proud of herself for lasting so long. If her brother thought he could degrade her, beat her down, with something so elementary, he had another thing coming. Azula could be a working girl. It was stupid and pointless and a total waste but she _could_ do it. At least for now.

Today was just another day to excel and she did so with a terrifying gusto. Early morning crowds were the pickiest, she was learning and the most exotic. They were the first to ask about the tea's brewing process when something didn't taste exactly right. Rich old snobs. She would apologize and nod with a transparent smile. A smile that was returned identically on every face, in every blank stare.

Azula picked the little porcelain cups of one such polite elderly couple off the table. Hardly even touched more than to float a lemon wedge atop the surface. She placed them upon her tray dutifully, balancing the little thing on her free hand in an awkward move. Her slippered feet started to make their way carefully over to the pass station, to trade in the empty cups for full ones and start the dance all over again.

She was waiting patiently for Uncle to finish brewing his latest confection when suddenly her vision went black.

"Guess who?" Azula felt the faint pressure on her eyes. Before she could even think about the sugary sweet voice or the clean flowery smell assaulting her senses, she'd turned knocking the hands from her eyes and hitting their owner square in the stomach. Hard. Her assailant doubled over clutching their middle, eliciting an involuntary smile from Azula. Prison hadn't weakened her all that much after all.

A second later she had a concerned arm patting at the customer's thin shoulders in mock concern that was more for the sake of the crowd watching than anything else.

"Man, I knew I should've worn my armor." a familiar voice groaned lightly out from under a bundle of brown hair. A long russet braid, a high childish voice… Azula froze as a shudder walked obtrusively up her spine. Ty Lee. She'd smacked Ty Lee.

The feeling Azula experienced at seeing her old friend was a difficult one. At first she couldn't tell if she was ecstatic or enraged. What ever it was it was a strong feeling ticking the back of her throat like bile, and it was all she could do to keep it locked inside. Azula half feared that if she allowed any sound to pass through her tightly pinched lips it would be nothing more than an unintelligible moan, calling out to her dear friend. Her bitter enemy. Her Ty Lee. She just stared dumbly lost for words to say or even the ability to speak them. There was nothing in her head, but a dull ache.

What had she been doing for the last four or so years? Somewhere along the way Ty Lee must have told her on one of her visits, but the information escaped her now. Sometimes it was hard to listen in a cell. There were so many sounds, a lot of which she'd suspected weren't real at all. But here outside, in the real world Ty Lee had still existed all alone without her. Maybe she'd rejoined the circus. Maybe she'd been with her beloved Mai. Maybe she'd gotten married like a good girl. Hell, she could have done all three, she was really such a flighty thing. Perhaps there was some thing in that caprice that bound Ty Lee to her for all this time.

Azula looked down through her loose hair and crossed her arms, daring herself to speak before her head had even formed the words, "Ty Lee," she breathed. Her voice decided to take a harsh tone, so she stuck with it obstinately. So all this bubbling in the pit of her stomach was bitterness? She could deal with bitterness. "What are you doing here?"

Ty Lee straightened herself up with a wince to turn her eyes to Azula. Her round face had gained the barest hint of maturity, but it was still that same childish face. Large wide eyes that always looked so wet so dark, and betrayed every little thought or feeling that passed through her mind. A small turned up nose, prone to obstinate wrinkling like a child. A wide mouth with thin lips that were almost an obscene shade of nude pink, lips that she was always prone to biting when nervous. That pretty face. That pretty, pretty face… There was just something innately about her that made Azula feel a constant need to _assuage. _As if she were the lesser one, as if she were the servant.

A shy smile played on Ty Lee's lips, stretching out the little worn cracks, the little sores she'd bit into her pale mouth. "I'd heard you got out of-- well, you know-- and I thought you'd like a visit." She moved a hand to fiddle idly at the hem of one of her wide Earth Kingdom sleeves. "But I guess if you want me to go, I can do that… What ever you want Azula."

A hand was still clutching at her stomach where she'd been hit. Silly Ty Lee she was always doing dumb thing like sneaking up on her. Struck with fits of fancy, they used to say. She should have known any touching would be taken as a threat. But Ty Lee was after all a "touchy" person, and chances are it would take much harsher punishment to amend her ways. Azula only felt the slightest itch of an inkling of a twinge of guilt for her former friend and colleague.

"No, no it's fine. Just don't pounce on me again or you'll loose your hands. I'd rather not go back to prison over something so trivial." Azula brushed an imaginary spec of lint from one of her arms. She pointed towards an empty table with one of her hands. "Well, sit down. We only take paying customers in this establishment."

Ty Lee nodded obediently, "Okay, just get me what ever you like, 'Zula." she scampered off with a little wave over her shoulder, allowing Azula to finally exhale.

She grumbled roughly at the whole situation. Who did that girl think she was? Azula barely had a moment to just exist before life and people in it were coming back at her full force. People with all their expectations and judgments. People with their "Are you better now?" and "Are you sorry?"s. As if she were even capable of such a disgraceful emotion. It almost made her miss prison, where the only expectations she had to meet were her own. Where she was the ruler of her own kingdom, of her very environment, and all of its inhabitants.

When Ty Lee, adorable, mindless, Ty Lee, sat at her new table she made a point of positioning herself so she was facing Azula. Naturally. Couldn't leave her alone for so much as a minute. As soon as she sat down she was waving and smiling all over again, as if her small walk had been the real distance. Azula pouted and turned towards the kitchen to get away.

"Azula?" she jumped back finding herself almost nose to nose with her uncle, "Isn't that girl one of your little friends? How nice of her to come and visit."

Azula gulped petulantly and looked down, "She's not my friend anymore."

"Now, don't say such things," uncle looked up at her with a big dumb grin, "I just put a pot on so I can cover you for a while. Go play with your pretty friend."

"Uncle--" Azula attempted to interject.

"Azula, friendships are precious. More precious that even the prized art of tea making." he stroked at his beard thoughtfully for a moment before shooing her away and puttering off with a tray in his hands.

Azula looked after him stubbornly but never the less made no move to challenge him further. She let her eyes wander over to Ty Lee who was still looking back at her, head tilted to the side in a silent question, like some confused baby animal.

She might as well get it over with.

The distance between the kitchen and Ty Lee was not nearly as great as she'd made it seem. Azula wanted to meander off, to take a long trek full of thoughts and revelations so she could think of one dignified thing to say. Nothing came to mind, time moved on, and she sat silently across from Ty Lee, taking an exaggerated care over the placement of her legs.

"Hey Azula…" Ty Lee had accepted hardly more than a moment of silence before taking it upon herself to speak. "You look really good. Nice and… composed? And you hair-- it's grown back out. It's all thick and shiny."

Ty Lee shut her deep warm grey eyes forcibly and rubbed at her neck. She was obviously uncomfortable, lips and all. That made Azula smile. She damn well should be uncomfortable.

Ty Lee sighed and brought her eyes level with Azula's "Look I just feel really bad about everything's that's happened. You deserve so much more than this. I mean you're Princess Azula, crowning jewel of the Fire Nation. You're beautiful and talented…" she paused , looking Azula over for a response and only receiving a stony look in return.

Azula observed her cautiously, trying to search out her motive. There had to be some reason this person who had absolutely abandoned her would come crawling back. Maybe she wanted something. Oh, they always want something. Money, power, pleasure. It was only a matter of determining the price, and the weapon of choice.

Azula licked her lips and leaned forward, "Is it guilt?" Ty Lee's eyes flicked upwards curiously, "Trying to make your conscience less of a burden to drag around? Or is it malice? Do you want to humiliate me again?" she spread her arms out wide, and renewed her devious smirk. "Take you're best shot."

"It's not like that!" Ty Lee leaned in close with a hand in the place where a heart might lay. A dramatic touch to whatever she was playing. "I just wanted to see you. That's all."

"Well you've seen me." she crossed her arms petulantly, "Happy now? Are you all tingly with the love?"

"Azula, I missed you." She looked down to hide a soft laugh, "I missed you so much that when I heard you were out of-- well out-- I made the townspeople start up a ferry right away. I just wanted to see you so bad all of the sudden. Like I'd go crazy if I didn't." She looked over at Azula with her large pleading eyes and for a second Azula let down her guard. Only a second.

"You've seen me before. What do you think suddenly I'd be all fluffy and sweet since I've been 'released''. Did you think you could just come here and curl around my legs and everything would be fine?" She noticed her voice was getting too loud when she received an annoyed look from a nearby table and amended herself. "You attacked me, Ty Lee. I don't forgive treachery so easily."

"I'm sorry but you know I love Mai too and I couldn't let you hurt her… But I really did miss you. I remember when I first got out of prison, just having no idea what to do. And I wished you were there with me, because you always just _knew_." Ty Lee began to draw little swirling patterns on the table.

"That's not true." That couldn't be further from the truth. Azula had no idea what to do. Not now, not ever. Sure she thought she did. She always thought she had all the cards, knew all the tricks. Then one day. No not one day, even though it had felt like one unbroken stretch of time, everything that she was so sure of came crumbling. Even reality couldn't be trusted anymore.

Everyone she trusted betrayed her. Everything she knew failed. Her father left. Mai and Ty Lee left. Zuko left. And standing at the precipice, fire in one hand and living breathing blue blooded life in the other, every step fell false, every tried and true attack failed. Zuko who was always the lesser became greater, and she became less than nothing.

How far had knowing gotten her? She never knew anything at all, only thought she did. And now she couldn't trust anything.

Azula brushed her hair timidly away from her face and let her eyes rest on Ty Lee's for a long time in silence, trying to find some answer there but knowing it was a futile effort. She just stared back, confused, concerned, and so achingly familiar.

She rose to her feet with all the grace and composure of a born ruler, the divine. Azula paused for a moment wiggling her toes and watching the fabric of her slippers stretch to accommodate them. After a long while she looked over to the girl who had once been one of her only anchors to her fragile world, and a small smile crossed her lips. "Don't follow me." she mouthed the words carefully, quietly. "I'll lead you to ruin."


	3. The Dance

A/N: Sorry I had to edit this in, I kinda forgot about it. This is the third chapter yadda yada yadda. I made a TyZula community for all you TyZula fans out there. Squee! Can you believe there wasn't one already? Therefore... I'm using this little opportunity to plug it.

Disclaimer: Doesn't own nothing.

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**Chapter 3**

Azula had her eyes trained on her. All feral, all predatory, cold calculating and observant, trying to find a minuet flaw, a crack in that cheerful exterior, a moment of clarity in those innocent eyes that would reveal the true meaning of her little visit. She found nothing, she's never found anything.

Ty Lee had always been something of a mystery to Azula. Every time she thought she got her down pat more idiosyncrasies introduced themselves. She was constantly happy and oblivious even in the most down trodden situation, even of the most malevolent person, which was supposedly a good thing, but the moment someone attacks _her _she falls apart.

Bodies are just vessel for the soul, or so they say. Any physical threat to the body was nothing compared to more subtle attacks that ate away at a person from the inside. Azula should know, she'd given and received plenty.

She would always wonder why they stayed side by side through out their childhood. Any time Ty Lee found any moment of free time she'd be plucking away at her dear Azula. Any time she was upset she somehow got it into her head that Azula would be the one to comfort her, and was upset at being turned away every time as if it were a surprise.

Such a silly, terribly useless thing here visiting her like a ecstatic puppy. Waggling her little tail and showing off new tricks and stories.

Azula allowed her fixed stare to sharpen and laughed in bubbling cracks. Her little dear looked straight at her with an innocent smile. "Ty Lee, you're stupid and I hate you."

Ty Lee stopped eating, a little piece of meat still floating in the air between her chopsticks. She sat them down softly and let her eyes hit her lap. "Okay, Azula."

She giggled whole heartedly. You've got to take your hits where you can get them after all. How pitiful Ty Lee looked… It was fantastic.

Azula gave an audible start as her uncle gave her a sharp pat on the shoulder. A reminder to be nice to their guest. She rolled her eyes.

It was getting late in the evening and all the patrons had already left, all that is except for one. Ty Lee hung around all day, showing more patience than she'd ever really shown. She waited hours for the teashop to close, all alone at her little table, being completely ignored. Azula found it suspicious.

Now the three of them, Uncle, Azula, and Ty Lee were gathered around a table with a fine feast of Uncle's creation before them. Ty Lee ate ferociously while blathering on and on about one thing or another. Of course Azula couldn't be bothered with eating, she was too busy observing Ty Lee.

Something would come out after all. Ty Lee wasn't so good at holding her tongue. Even now it was on and on about… swimming? A swift little dance? Oh, something that animated her so, moving her hands about to gesticulate on a particular point.

Something had possessed her to pick up some clothing some where in Ba Sing Se, Azula noticed. The lime green silks were cut so adroitly and stitched with so many pointless little golden designs, she couldn't imagine such a pretentious thing coming from any where else. Thick robe-like layers in each a more obnoxious shade than the last piled atop one another, and those wide sleeves that would make it nearly impossible to manage, say fire bending, much less whatever magic Ty Lee liked to play with her hands.

"You said you have armor?" Azula asked before she'd even realized her mouth was moving. Two sets of eyes stared intently at her. They both looked so sickeningly coddling.

"Y-yeah." Ty Lee stuttered, "Didn't I tell you I joined the Kyoshi Warriors? They taught me about fans and I taught them about hand-walking. They have armor on their uniforms."

Azula smiled and dragged her finger over the rim of her small white teacup, "The Kyoshi Warriors? Those grease-paint monkeys? If I recall correctly I beat a group of their finest. Rather easily in fact." She chuckled to herself, "Aren't those 'dresses' they wear rather confining for you?"

Ty Lee cocked her head to the side and smiled, obviously pleased that Azula was actually talking to her. "Nope. Well actually a little, yes. But you wouldn't believe some of the things I've worn and still been expected to be at optimum performance. Ever try to walk the tightrope in a platypus bear costume?"

Uncle looked to her strangely, "Miss Ty Lee, you have some strange hobbies."

"I was in the circus!" she giggled and patted at his arm fondly, "An acrobatic back bender extrordinar! I'm telling you, it's the greatest place in the world, like living in a dream."

"That dump? Please, that's just where the freaks go when no where else will take them. The civilized people just attend to laugh at you, and feel better about themselves. You should be glad I rescued you from such a place." Azula watched with a smirk as Ty Lee's puppy dog ears became a little less perked up.

Iroh looked between the two of them again, trying to regain the former peace. "What about Kyoshi? I hear the weather is nice there this time of year. Lots of pretty trees and flowers. That must be nice."

Ty Lee nodded deftly, "Yeah, it's real nice. I don't even know how to explain it. It's not even the flowers or greenery, it's like… It's like the colors are just different there," She put a hand to her chin thoughtfully, "They are different here too. Brighter. More alive. Or maybe it was the Fire Nation that was the different one. I don't know if I'd ever be able to go back there after all of this. I feel so alive with all these colors." she turned sweetly to Azula, "Can you feel it?"

"No." she replied instantly. Colors were colors. Ty Lee was just going on another of her imaginary rants about things that don't exist, like auras or energies.

"Whether you see them or not I think they see you. You look so calm here. And rosy! I think it'll be good for you, make you better"

Azula snorted, and pounced as if she'd been waiting for it all this time, "What's there to make better? I don't regret anything."

"Of course not. I don't mean to fix how you think or fix you…" Ty Lee sighed and scratched idly at her neck, "I mean to fix all the hurt you have in you. Fix your heart."

Azula sighed and gave Ty Lee an incredulous look. The wonderful amazing kind Ty Lee who just popped out of her fairy tale book to heal hearts and homes to sew the world up all nice and tight. She was all ways such a goody-goody.

"I'm fine. Thanks." Azula grumbled and sipped some cooled tea from her little cup. Somehow her voice came out weaker than she intended.

Silence enveloped them for a few whole agonizing seconds.

"Here let me teach you something I learned in Kyoshi." She jumped up and began to pull at her companion, who staunchly resisted.

"No way, knowing you, I'll have to go to the hospital to untangle my legs or something like that." She pulled her arms roughly to her side, nearly pulling Ty Lee with her as she latched on.

"There won't be any hospital. It's just a little dance." She smiled big and wide and did a mock jig quickly, "It's way better if you have fans but we can still do it anyway."

"Dancing? How barbaric." She sipped at her tea and straightened her back. "People of our standing find better ways to entertain themselves than writhing around."

"Aw… you don't want me to 'writhe' for you?" she giggled transparently, putting a big smile on her face, all teeth and complete utter innocence. Ty Lee moved her hips in an exaggerated swing as she went over to her seat once more.

Azula coughed into her hand awkwardly, "I didn't say you couldn't _show _me your stupid little dance, I just said I wouldn't participate. Now go." She motioned with a quick dismissive hand, and took a long drink from her teacup.

Ty Lee rose in a little twirl, all elbows and knees. How she could look so gangly and fervent even through all of that pompous clothing she didn't know.

Azula thought somehow she would watch her companion thrash about with haughty disapproving eyes, like she'd always tried to do for all her little tricks. Oblige her. But there was something drawing her. Sure she moved like a pretty little tart, but that wasn't it.

As she twisted and turned, showing wrists, ankles, the pulse point of a smooth feminine neck, their eyes kept a constant contact, and the look there was… something terrifying, sickening. Yet she couldn't turn from it.

As rude as she had been, as callous and perhaps even cruel in all their years together Ty Lee still had the gall to look at her with such eyes?

"Stop looking at me like that!" She said suddenly, jumping from her seat and giving the dancing Ty Lee a little start.

"Like what, Azula?" Ty Lee spoke softly, smooth connecting movements long forgotten. Yet she kept looking with those eyes that made Azula want to yell, to scream, to weep bitterly in her welcoming arms.

"Why are you here, Ty Lee?" Azula spat, not breaking the contact, "Always dancing, moving, frolicking about like a tart. Even now, you dance rather than tell me things? Yet somehow I expect you wouldn't say words if you spoke anyhow, just echo meaningless phrases."

"You aren't making any sense! I'm just here to see you! I just care about you…" Her voice fell silently, but she didn't look away, even had the nerve to intensify her stare.

"That's just it!" Azula shrieked and took a desperate step forward. "Why would you-- why would anyone?" Her voice cracked and fell, along with any hope to be dignified that she had left.

"What? You mean care about you?" She smiled disgustingly and took a light practiced step forward, "Do you really want to know, why I care about you?"

"I asked didn't I?" Azula muttered sharply at once looking from her eyes to her toes. The voice would be more than enough torture for now.

Ty Lee cautiously placed a few fingers on Azula's drawn shoulder and laughed, " 'Cause you're perfect."

"Liar." Azula shook her off and turned away, "Just tell me what your business is with me and be off. I don't much care for catering to your fancies."

She sighed and waggled her little puppy head sadly. Her forever long braid flopped over her shoulder and for a second the discord on her round young face was endearing. With those pretty eyes, those pretty big eyes with that look.

"Do you?" Ty Lee asked shyly, and pressed her hand lightly at the sleeve of Azula's work uniform.

"Do I what?" She muttered angrily and put a quick glance to Ty Lee's hand as it fiddled with the hem of her sleeve rolling it around in her fingers.

Her bangs flopped down in front of her eyes and she to began watching the movement of her fingers, "Is it possible-- now don't be mad-- that you find it so hard to believe that someone could like you, because _you _don't like yourself?"

Azula laughed loudly, "Please, I'm the only one who hasn't betrayed me. You expect that now?"

A smile worked it's way across Ty Lee's face even though she was obviously taking some effort to hold it down. There faces were so close that Azula could see the little wrinkles in the corners of her eyes. Little wrinkles that were only there when she smiled but would wear into her skin with age.

"No," She laughed a little headily, with such a brusque genuine happiness that Azula felt herself beginning to smile in response, "Of course not, of course not." Her eyebrows were cradled in a way reminiscent of someone who had just been crying, but there were no tears, not even the hint of them. Just those same big eyes with that same heartbreaking confounding look of absolute love. For no reason at all!

Ty Lee moved her slender arms around Azula's middle, pressing them together with a little rustle of fabric and the slightest movement. The sudden touch was startling and before she could even process the thought she was hugging her friend back. Giving in like she shouldn't. Caring like she shouldn't.

Her senses were assaulted with that same sweet scent. Clean like a powder, but still a soft deep flowery scent like a day old cut rose heavy with it's own juices. Azula wondered if she'd always had such a nice smell. She couldn't remember _ever_ noticing how anyone smelt before unless it were painfully obvious, like the scent of her mother's musky perfume, or the smell of stale smoke emanating from her father and many of his generals after they'd been from training or a battle. This was different. It was so light and gentle. Maybe a soap or detergent. And it made her mouth water dangerously.

Azula jerked suddenly pulling Ty Lee away from her. She really shouldn't have been dwelling over such things. It's not healthy to dwell over something as inane as a smell like that. How over whelming it was to be out amongst familiar faces again.

Ty Lee looked at her softly, like no one else really ever looked at her. Or even could. "I… I better go." she made a movement with her thumb towards the door and took an awkward step back, "Um, Uncle see you--" her eyes hit the spot where Iroh had been sitting to realize neither him or his meal was there any more. She laughed lightly and headed towards the door.

"Wait." Azula called if only a second before the front door had closed, but Ty Lee heard her none the less and stepped back inside. "You'll come again." She said, not asking but telling.

A smile lit up Ty Lee's face, "Goodnight." she turned towards the door and left, but not before sneaking another shy look back at Azula.


	4. The Zoo

A/N: Hello everybody. Long time no see. Just getting back into the swing of school, so I guess that's the reason behind the delay. But I have not abandoned you. This chapter is a little shorted than the previous two, and I haven't done a real edit beside's spell check yet, so beware of massive error. I just really wanted to post. -- Animal names mostly come from tales of Ba Sing Se, incase you are wondering.

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Chapter 4

Her wide bowled spoon dipped and shuttled around her little palette of ice ream smoothly and without aim, creating small diveting paths coming from nowhere, leading to nowhere. The sweet sticky cream was beginning to swell a little, to ooze out at the sides ominously. No sadder sight in the world than such a happy girl frowning over ice-cream.

"Rabaroo…"

It felt so surreal, the two of them being there. Ty Lee in her enchanting ridiculous robes shoved up and tied baring long feminine legs, and Azula in the only clothes she had, her work uniform both looking and acting almost if they belonged in this place. Two sisters, two friends, maybe sitting together over ice-cream. Sitting together at the zoo.

"Rabba… Raba, Rabbbaba… Roo…"

Ty Lee had awoken that morning in all her sunshine and roses happiness determined to feed the penguins. She just had to feed the damn penguins. Just like she had to have her ice-cream, and she had to pet a sparrowkeet, and she had to have her Azula by her side the whole way. After all who else did she know in the city? And how much fun would it be to look at dumb animals all day? And they'd definitely be back before it started to rain.

"Rabaroo. Rabaroo. Rabaroo. Rabaroo."

And it did feel so devilishly surreal to walk to and from each little animal enclosure, each pin, each cage, with her dear old friend and enemy. It felt almost normal to be beside her, or behind her, or ahead. She took an obscene amount of care over where they walked according to their general position and situational factors. Azula always had thus though. It was important to establish when you were the dominant and when you were willing to momentarily submit.

"Rabaroo's drink guava juice too…"

She tried to imagine what they would be to any onlooker. She oft thought sisters or friends or coworkers and occasionally, briefly, lovers. More often than not in the eyes of the world, though, she suspected they were just two people, unfortunate to cross paths and destine to detangle within the hour.

"Raba--"

"Enough about the thrice damned Rabaroo's already!" Azula cut her off, having about all she could take of her ramblings.

"It's a fun word isn't it?" She giggled sweetly at being noticed, "Rabaroo. Rabaroo. Rabaroo. Say it?"

"No." Azula let one of her wide sleeved hands reach up and swiped Ty Lee's ice-cream, spoon and all, and began to eat it reverently. She had paid for it. IT would be a shame if it went uneaten.

Ty Lee looked her over anxiously and sighed. She kept that way about her, being on tenterhooks. Just kept a steady look in Azula's direction that read as she wanted something, was expecting something, was waiting for some sappy sugar words that would never come.

Azula suspected long ago why she was brought here. To reconnect, to become "close" like they used to be. Ty Lee had her mind full of slumber parties and nail painting and it was written all over her pretty little face. She didn't have what it took to deal with the real Azula. The real her. No one ever did, they just wanted to change her, covert her, and she would have none of it.

"My sister sent me a hawk a while ago." Ty Lee began awkwardly. "She got married last winter… just now gotten around to telling me."

"Oh," Azula feigned a mock interest, she tilted her head to the side in a hope to look intrigued.

"It's strange… sometimes I forget the world is still moving. It feels like I've been stuck in-- Syrup? Taffy? Oh you know something sticky-- all this time." She sighed and looked down, "And I look at her, I see the face I could have. The life I could have…"

"You're jealous? Regretful?" Azula lifted one paper white hand, fingernails chipped and blunted. "You make your own destiny. To doubt yourself is as good as a whole-hearted insult."

Ty Lee looked up curiously from where her eyes lay enthralled with the melting ice-cream. "I'm not jealous. I'm… relieved." She moved to take the spoon from Azula and busied herself with another little scoop of ice-cream "Sure, I could be her. I could be that. It's not like I don't want to get married, live in a big house in the nice side of town, have a whole circus full of kids. There is just so much world out here. I want to live in it before all that. You know, ride the waves a little."

"There isn't so much out here. You'd be better off being a good little girl in the Fire Nation." Azula mumbled.

Ty Lee smiled and wiggled a dripping spoon through the air, "Is that what you what you'd do Azula? Be a good little girl? Somehow I can't see that happening."

"Well, I'm not a _good _person, obviously." She spoke distractedly as Ty Lee's spoon full of ice-cream careened closer and closer to her face.

"I think you're good. A bad person wouldn't think they're bad. Or would they? I don't know." The sticky dripping spoon swerved close to Azula's face before it landed gleefully in Ty Lee's mouth. "Any way, you're missing the point."

"There's a point now is there?" Azula mouthed, "Well there's a first time for everything."

"I just wonder if you see your face in Zuko's?" Azula couldn't help her shoulders stiffening at the name.

"I'll never be _him_. I don't want to be." She spat harshly, "He's pathetic."

Ty Lee laughed sweetly, oblivious to the tense air, "Naturally. And they made him Fire Lord! All he does all day is sign things and talk to old people. Think of how much more of life you'll get to see than him. It's scary how close you were to becoming a drone like him. Terrifying. Think of all the signatures. You wouldn't be able to draw a blade ever again."

"This is not something I wish to discus. If you insist on blathering along, insulting the holy position of Fire Lord…" Azula bit on her tongue.

"Can't be so holy can it?" Ty Lee smiled and loaded up another spoon full of ice-cream, "Doesn't even matter though. Your destiny isn't tangled up in those things. You're too important I think. You're going to change the world-- That can't be done signing papers, you know."

Azula sighed. Whatever. "Finish eating that ice-cream, already. It looks like it'll rain any moment now. I don't like being wet."

"Hmm?" Ty Lee looked up at the over cast sky. "Really now? Maybe it's just a bluff." She looked down suddenly letting her hair flop deliriously around her rounded youthful face. A wicked little smirk worked it's way across her features.

Ty Lee gained an ounce of boldness and tapped the sticky spoon to Azula's pinish nose. She struck her head to the side with a piece of mock idleness and intensified her smile. "Oh, hah, sorry."

Azula blinked slowly. She could feel it. There was ice-cream on her nose. For a brief moment she was at a loss for what to do. She'd never really had to deal with this problem before.

The ice-cream melted a little under her body heat and she could _feel_ a drip coming. How absolutely disgusting. She moved a sleeve up to wipe it up before any poor soul chanced to look her way and she'd be forced to behead him.

"Wait!" Ty Lee giggled liltingly and wrapped her fingers around her wrist. "I want you to do something first."

Azula blanched, "Ty Lee, on all that is holy, I swear that I will kill you." she jerked her arm warningly, " I mean it."

"First you've gotta say Rabaroo." She tightened her hold adroitly, "You know, I could make you if I really wanted to."

"Oh, _please_, Ty Lee. Let. Me. Go. Now. I don't want to hurt you." She sighed softly, "Think of all the prison time."

"Rabaroo. Rabaroo. Rabaroo. Rababaroo. Raba Raba--" Ty Lee babbled.

"For crying out loud. I'm not going to say the damn--"

Ty Lee leaned forward in one swift motion, arms still clutching her companion in a tight hold. Quicker than Azula had time to think or process or anything, Ty Lee's little pink bubblegum sweet tongue darted out of her mouth and licked up the little spot of ice-cream. Azula froze dead in her tracked, flushing instantly and trying to find some word of reprimand in her vocabulary. She had done this after all, made her feel this uncomfortableness. Made her chest ache and look like a fool. But her mouth wouldn't move. There was no voice in her mouth, no words on her tongue. She could scarcely breath or speak or think. Only the echo of that sweet touch pulsated through her skin. That and an incessant radiating heat that lit her up like a tomato.

Ty Lee giggled and suck on her spoon, pressing the metal into her tongue. "You taste salty."


	5. The Rain

A/N: Hey everyone. I know it's been a while. But I have not abandoned you I swear. I didn't think it would take this much time and effort to apply to colleges and go on visits. Also I'm lazy. I've got at least the first 12 chapters planned so we've got a while to go before I disapear. Heh.

I'm looking for betas, a typist, and C2 staffers. Visit my profile for details.

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Chapter 5

In her infinite wisdom the flitty young Ty Lee had naturally had an insatiable desire to go to the zoo when the sky held heavy with rain. It looked like rain, it smelt like rain. The ground was free of any miniscule shadow and the sky grumbled angrily at random intervals. The day was not one of strolling about pointing playfully at poor caged beasts. It was for lying half dead under a thick blanket as the sound of rain spatters on porcelain shingles filled the air like a sweet nature lullaby.

Azula could only dream of such days while running through the slick streets of Ba Sing Se. People were milling about in much lesser volumes than usual, and any daring the harsh rain were covered nicely under umbrellas. Not for long though, it was a hard and angry rain that had the strength to rip some of the lesser parasols.

Worst of all, if being wet, cold, and heavy with clothes wasn't enough, because of the rain the trams of Ba Sing Se had been shut down. They would have to navigate miles of streets and walls to get from the outskirts to the inner ring of the city. Miles in the rain all for a damnable day at the zoo.

"Azula?" Ty Lee stopped her phantom running under a sturdy looking overhang to catch her breath, "This is never going to work. There's no way we can make it all the way back in this storm!"

Azula shot her an angry look, "Of course we _can_. Won't be as fun as _Rabaroos_," she hissed, "but we'll manage."

Ty Lee smiled widely. "Rabaroos! Oh, yum, you say it just perfectly!-- I knew you would of course."

"We could wait out the storm, I suppose." Azula muttered distantly, scanning the environment with her eyes. "Through I doubt any place would be willing to let in another pair of sopping wet patrons."

Ty Lee needlessly tried to wring some of the water out of her skirts, "Let's just stay here. We can people watch."

"Watch which people exactly?" She sighed irritably, "I'm not loitering around like a street urchin. We _are_ going back to the shop." Azula ran a hand through the tangles in her soaking wet hair to try and restore some piece of order. She loosened her waist band to use for pulling her hair away from her face in one desperate last move, to lessen the amount of cold pointed strands of hair pricking at her eyes.

"Wait-- we could… go back to my room at the inn. It's lower ring, not nearby but closer than the teashop at least." Ty Lee mused, counting something off her fingers, though Azula couldn't determine exactly what.

"Hmm… It never occurred to me that you lived anywhere…" She tapped her chin thoughtfully. She didn't much like the idea of hanging around a crummy lower ring inn. But it was cold, and there might be warm clothes or even blankets. The day was really just right for blankets.

"Alright." Azula said definitively, "We will go to your room. Providing it isn't completely horrid. You do have clothing and the like correct?"

"Yeah, I have clothes…" She smiled with a strange quirk of her lips and flashing of the eyebrows.

Ba Sing Se is something of a strange city. It's buildings are compact, small, and riveted so close together they look like they're bulging convex. They have straight puzzle board streets that twist and turn at every chance, sharp right corner. Half the streets are dead ends amounting to little more than a walkway to a hiding slum house or curtained "specialty shop".

Walking such streets, passing such places was delirious. Azula had never had the damnable opportunity to walk or run as it were, amongst such grit, grime and poverty. She'd never had to, it was where the stupid lived, the untalented, the ugly, the disreputable, the unlucky. She had never been any of these things and looked down upon those who were, those who were in this district for a reason. She wondered the what she would think 4 years earlier looking upon someone such as herself. What would she think? Who would she be in the only eyes that mattered?

She'd be one of them of course. Just another face in an endless mass of people. And she half wondered if she had really been all along.

Good things are the domain of good people. The righteous always prevail. When did the world become so backwards? Right and wrong, good and evil switching inexplicably. Azula had always followed her "right", had done just as she was told. Suddenly obedience and thrift weren't virtues. Suddenly everything that was always "good" was no longer, and there was a tiring pull between what was expected and what she knew.

These streets were streets like any others. Dull lifeless slummy, but for the first time the grime seemed comforting. There were some people who would always stay in their position in life. There was a bottom where nothing changed. And she was swimming in those same streets, with fine blood, money in her pocket, and silken sheets waiting. She had reached her comfortable abyss and it was still higher than anyone living in the run down places she passed. She was still god here, if no where else.

"Ah Wait!" Ty Lee squealed suddenly and took a dead stop. "Here we are. Record time." She jiggled her way up the cracking stone steps of a large sandstone building. Bright candle light was swelling out the open lower windows accompanied by a gruff drinking song aided by the clinking of glasses.

This place was one might call seedy. The moment the two of them walked in drenching wet there was a minute clamor in their direction in the form of good natured cat calls and approaching beards, with arms full of complementary ale.

Ty Lee waved a sweet little wave to the men of the tavern, which appeared to reside beneath where any rooms might lay. She took a few meandering steps forward offering well-received genial words to an elderly gentlemen before waving Azula after her, heading toward a rickety staircase in a shadowy corner of the room.

It struck Azula somewhat strange that Ty Lee would stay in such a place. She didn't drink (it polluted the aura) yet her optimum choice at residence was in a dirty tavern that happened to rent out beds.

Ty Lee's feet trapezed the stairs with a familiar delicacy. A noble born, athletic way of moving, deliberately controlled, with a long leg extension and an almost accidental sway in her slight hips. There was no creaking on the stairs for her. They let her pass without protest like a sprightly thing, a visage. Fine robes, noble blood and all.

Azula just followed, was lead, with all her thoughts simply following the exquisitely female, the deliciously purposeful way she moved her long pale legs. The way her small hand would tense slightly every now and then. The antagonizing sound her smooth skin made as her hand just slightly brushed a guard rail.

She didn't speak. She was scarcely a person then. Her pretty little Ty Lee was liquid and smooth like water. It was a lifetime before she stopped swaying before her, before they mounted another set of stairs. Before that smooth long fingered hand, ghosted just right, a subtle sliding over a varnished brass doorknob and a small tensing in her forearm with the turn.

It was another small room of course, tastelessly covered sky to origin in a smooth cut stone, save for a solitary mattress hoisted on a stone pedestal and a small wooden chest that didn't look of Ba sing Se origin. It was claustrophobic, with low ceiling, sparse lighting and a floor plan that couldn't have been more than a few meters squared.

Ty Lee ushered her in, sweeping her arms in as large an arch she could manage. "Home sweet home." she remarked blissfully with an innocent happy smile.

"Quaint." Azula scoffed in response while steeping through the doorway. If she'd been only a few inches taller she would have had to duck.

"Here, here. Sit." One of Ty Lee's long arms gestured towards a small stone chair by the door. "I'll give you a tour after we get all warmed up."

Azula quirked her brow, lost between amusement and annoyance. "I don't think that will be necessary. Unless this is just your dressing room."

Ty Lee placed her fingers upon the lid of her wooden chest and yanked it open. "Eh? More space means less warmth-- and more money. This place is fine, more than fine even." She dug through messily piled bundles of cloth contained within the chest throwing things around when ever she came across an article that displeased her.

"Ah, here we go." Ty Lee held up a flimsy dressing gown, "It'll have to do for now. You don't mind do you? I can get something else if you want."

"No," she sighed half-heartedly, but brightened instantly as her companion did the same. "That will be fine."

Ty Lee smiled brightly and tossed her the delicate thing before going back to the chest to continue with her furtive digging. For all of Azula's order and perfectionism Ty Lee was the opposite. She threw clothing about her floor without even a second thought. It made Azula twitch. She'd always been that way though. Called it "creative chaos".

The chest closed with a snap as she seemed to find something that pleased her, nothing more than another little slip of a dressing gown, this one had lace on the trim.

Azula didn't let her eyes leave Ty Lee as she started slipping her arms up through her sleeves and releasing the ties that kept her skirts held above her knees. Still somehow Azula managed to toss off her drenched, dirty, and abused slippers and began to work on her close-knit socks.

"Azula!" Ty Lee squealed making her jump. She was sitting on her makeshift mattress trying to untie her waist band, which appeared to be restricting her movement.

"Can you help me with my stockings?" She said jovially through a bubbling laugh, "I can't reach! And my leg itches!"

Azula tilted her head to the side milling over what she had said for a moment. The cold must have gotten to her, she was having the hardest time focusing on any one thought.

As she lifted herself the air suddenly seemed so thick, as if it had a weight, a life of it's own, and every breath went down her throat like hard ice She swallowed obediently.

Reaching to the hem of Ty Lee's stockings required lifting her skirts quite high. To ask someone to do such a thing was normally considered indecent, but she never even spared a thought on etiquette, only that she'd be able to place her fingers on those absolutely beautiful legs. The thought made her shudder.

Azula made her way from her chair to the bed that was poised on the opposite wall in little more than a step and already she could feel the air hanging around Ty Lee, scarcely but noticeably warmed by the tremor of her breath and the warmth radiating from her glistening skin.

Their eyes locked with a strange intensity as Azula fell to her wetted knees before her. The gesture was similar to some sort of bashful kneel, a move of respect and servitude. How strange it was to be the one kneeling. How strange to be unarmed, naked in another's hands.

She let her fingers dance slowly up a wet clothed leg, bristling at first at the fuzzy cotton texture, then reveling in it as she traced up the curve of a taught calf with both of her hands. Azula moved so agonizingly slow, just for the sake of the feel and a half-thought that she'd never be able to remove her hands if she tried.

At the turn of a knobby into a much smoother, yielding thigh, she could have shuddered. Touching a woman like this… just filled her senses on a high, made her heart thrum painfully. She felt the sort of anxious anticipation, the desire, the lust, that she'd scarcely felt since her last fateful battle. She wanted to touch, to devour, to worship, just for that leg, just for that smooth womanly thigh.

Azula's shaking fingers reached the hem of Ty Lee's fine stockings mechanically. She hardly could think, but managed movement, if only for the promise of touching naked skin. She hooked her fingers around the laboriously sewn hem letting her knuckles brush along the tender skin of Ty Lee's beautiful leg, and held there for a fraction of a second longer than she should have. But what was Ty Lee to her any way but a long series of irrationally wasted seconds, gazes held just long enough to be abnormal, just long enough to make her want to look back and not be able to.

And so another wasted moment, another irrational thought. Her very fingers even betrayed her, her weapons, her life. Hands that had done nothing but harm were somehow allowed to press against such a lovely thing and not make it shrivel away, burst into flames, condense to ashes. The sensation of touching Ty Lee skin was feverish. Her fingers radiated with a foreign warmth, an absolutely hedonic vibration. Her mouth became dry, her breath caught in her throat and strange thoughts and images invaded her head that she'd never seen the likes of before.

What would it be like to taste that beautiful soft expanse of skin? Or to see more? If the girl's legs were so heavenly, then what sorts of beauty could she be hiding beneath the rest of her robes? Azula wanted to grab her suddenly and just-- and just--

She fell back, breaking contact completely. It seemed so simple and fast, like such an easy thing, but her heart ached, but she felt vaguely nauseous.

"Azula?" Ty Lee's small voice beckoned so sweetly. Not even that could draw Azula's eyes or arms.

"You're not sick are you?" Ty Lee whispered half heartedly and went to her knees tried to place a warm hand on Azula's face.

It took all of her strength to look up at her Ty Lee's face, while at the same time every muscle in her body was begging her to. And she laughed when her first thought was declaring it the most beautiful thing she'd ever laid eyes on. With her wide liquid eyes, soft smooth lips.

How could she not have known? Why after so many years, did it take until that very moment for Azula to finally realize?

She was attracted to Ty Lee.


	6. The Gum Popping Sitch

A/N: Woo. This is quick for me. Just a little chapter to break up the "Action". And all 10 wonderful reviews ( I mean really thank you guys) made me want to update quicker. Hint Hint. ;) I did some research for this chapter too. Who knew there was a such thing as tea made out of the bulb of a rose? You'd be surprised how much time I spend looking up teas for this fic.

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Chapter 6

Suddenly the world seemed exciting. Nothing had changed, of course. Azula still worked the same dingy job handing out tea to people who could care less. She still tied her apron tight in the morning, still smelled like stale tea leaves at night. So it was very strange when she found herself bouncing with anticipation, with excitement, with a general gusto for life that she'd couldn't remember having since before-- well just before.

She knew why of course. Lurking somewhere in the back of her mind was the dreadful knowledge that her heart would skip a beat when talking to a certain someone, that she would feel a chill when gazing at the perfect way her jaw was smoothed. Maybe there was something to creation and gods. Her Ty Lee never seemed to be made of flesh and bone but soft satin clay, molded to perfect rounds.

Still it was a shameful attraction. Azula had never liked anyone in _this_ way before. Sure every once and a while she'd admire the beauty of a passing stranger, but the feeling experienced there was nothing like the achingly wonderful throb in her core. It was scary to be in her mind. She would think the strangest things. About just touching the small of Ty Lee's waist every so slightly, or obtusely ravishing her on a table in the tea shop. Purely sexual things, all physical. Of course, of course. It's not like she was in _love _with her or any thing. Azula scarcely thought she was capable of such an appalling emotion.

Azula's heart throbbed as Ty Lee waggled in that morning the same way she usually did. Early, but not early enough, the girl slept like a hound. She walked with that gentle quaver of her hips, making her calves go taut to their most perfect shape under hoisted up skirts. Even her long braid moved with her, swaying with the steady rhythm of her light footsteps. Sometimes, on darker nights, Azula might have imagined how divine it would look wrapped like a curtain around her body.

Something light. Jasmine. Chamomile. Rose. What did she like? Azula couldn't remember exactly, just that the brew was a soft color, like diluted honey or rose water. She busied her self digging through neatly arranged canisters of loose tea leaves, and large knotted Chamomile flowers, eyes turned away from the little table where Ty Lee sat humming a jovial tune.

Azula turned with a jolt and quickly trampled over to the pass station, "Are you here for some reason, _Ty Lee._" She hissed, her voice coming out so much harsher than she had thought it would.

Ty Lee perked up instantly at the sound of her name and joined Azula at the counter, "Nope, just wanted to see you is all." She grinned to herself sweetly and swirled the toe of her shoe around on the ground.

"We only take paying customers at the Jasmine Dragon," Azula coughed, gaining a piece of confidence. Suddenly angry at Ty Lee for making her flounder. "Order or get out."

"Um, okay!" Ty Lee let her smile soften and looked down at her fingers. "Let's see… I'm in the mood for something pink. You have Rosehips right? I'll take Rosehip."

Azula let a snide smile creep across her lips, "Rosehip tea it is." She spat and turned dutifully on heel, away from her, towards the little ceramic canisters. None of them were labeled. To look for a tea you would simply have to feel your way around. That or ask Uncle.

"You okay, Azula? You sound tired or something. Does Uncle snore to loud for you to sleep?" She giggled softly, and the nervous sliding of a soft palm across a counter top could be heard. "Mai told me he snores like a Moose Lion! I don't know how she'd know that though. I don't think she's ever slept with Uncle… Oh I mean-- I mean, been around him while sleeping… Maybe Zuko told her."

Azula licked her lips nicely. Perfect, a jumping off point. She'd been waiting for Ty Lee to do something stupid, and show herself for the moronic waste of human life she was. Maybe she'd run away and do what ever the hell it is she does when she wasn't orbiting around her dearest Azula.

"Zuko? Fuck Zuko." She stuttered and gathered four or five whole rosehips on the counter and began to slice them open dauntingly. She should know by now Zuko was taboo. Yeah.

Ty Lee giggled stupidly forcing Azula to whip around. "Eh? Oh, sorry. I'm really tired. It's kinda-- you know-- becoming hard to be coherent. With the tiredness." She coughed lightly into her hand then smiled pathetically. "You smell especially good today."

Azula grimaced and continued siphoning water into an unused kettle. She was so stupid really. A humongous idiot. Lemon and milk stupid. Not even worth her time. Why did she like someone like that? Very uncouth and giggly like a school girl, Ty Lee was all sugar no substance.

Azula lit the burner with a practiced hand and glued her eyes to the heat hardened porcelain. She imagined she was lying on the bottom of the pot stretched out wide on the smooth glazed floor, fingers and toes touching the side, drowning under a shallow film of water. After all you can drown in a teaspoon, she could certainly drown in a cup. The heat would seep in like some saving grace, making her limbs supple, putting her back where she felt comfortable.

That had really been her once. Drowning. Or was it her still? She'd always attached some sort of physical idea to pain and torment, if she couldn't see it or touch it, there was no way it could ever hurt her, ever kill her. And what did she have to worry. She was powerful, nothing could ever destroy her.

There was a soft crackle, a little ping as the water in her kettle began to boil.

The things that you can't see. The ideas, the notions, the _feelings_ are the things that she should have been warned about, in all her years of combat training, military training, battle strategy. Just because you can't see the flame, doesn't mean it won't boil you alive.

This whole Ty Lee _thing _was infinitely troubling to her. It seemed like something that definitely had the potential to harm her delicate unadorned psyche. It needed to be stopped-- temptation removed.

The sound of water simmering filled her ears and mechanically Azula scooped her little pile of gutted rosehips into a tiny porcelain cup, and drowned them with a healthy froth of boiling water. It scared her how it didn't even require thought to know exactly what to do and when. How many days in Earth Kingdom hell had passed?

A small hand wormed it's way around Azula to procure the little cup before it could even have a minute to seep and with that hand came shallow breaths tickling at Azula's unprotected neck. She was taken aback for a moment at the sheer heat of her and how just a little breath could spread through her body, making the very clothes on her back feel rigid and cold.

Ty Lee leaned into her, almost as if on cue, answering the call her skin seemed to be making for warmth, for her warmth. Another wispy hand followed to rest with a painful lightness at the point of Azula's hip.

"Mmm." Ty Lee breathed, making her victim give an unexpected shudder under her grasp. She either didn't notice or ignored it. "I knew it was you that smelled so good." The timber of her voice was deep and slow, drowsy.

Azula felt her eyes close and leaned into warmth at her neck. She felt drowsy too. "I-- bathe."

"Oh?" Ty Lee giggled through her teeth as she let the tip of her nose brush over Azula's neck in a half nuzzle. They breathed a deep breath in unison. "It's working for you."

There was a silence that was almost palpable for a full minute before Ty Lee started suddenly, pulling away and gathering her teacup with a cute half smile. Azula took a moment to recover, looking something like someone who just had high beams shined in their eyes.

Smuggly Ty Lee began to work her way out of the kitchenette, blowing on her tea the entire way.

"Wait." Azula's voice croaked out. She cleared her throat roughly, and reached for Ty Lee's wrist before she could make it too far and held on tight.

"Hmm?" Ty Lee spun nicely almost drenching herself in hot water. "Need something, Azula?"

She sighed "It's not done." her voice puttered out mechanically, words she felt like had been left by a former inhabitant of her body. "That kind of tea needs to seep for at least ten minutes. For --err-- full health benefits."

"Really?" Ty Lee held the little thing above her head and inspected it, "Way to go Tea- Zula! Casualty averted."


	7. The Flu

**A/N:** Helloz everybody. Thank you for all your time and support. I really appreciate you reading my fic. Haven't much to say today except thank you.

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**Chapter 7**

Azula was sitting all alone and quiet. There were mittens on her hands, heavy wool mittens, on her heavy thick woolen trousers, on top of another bloody layer of something thick and warm without all the itch. On top of all that she had a mantle of a cloak bound about her shoulders. When Ba Sing Se got cold, it got cold. She'd much rather be inside on a day like this, she was Fire Nation, the land of never-winter. She wasn't built to be placed in an arctic place like the Earth Kingdom.

But no. Naturally Ty Lee had chosen a freezing cold day to go missing.

For the second day in a row now, Ty Lee had flitted out of existence. At first Azula had a brief shameful moment of sadness, not seeing her smiling face trouncing into the tea-shop early in the morning but after that she was relieved. If there was no Ty Lee she never had to address this whole dreadful "infatuation" she was having with her.

Azula was more than tempted to just leave things as they were. If Ty Lee wanted to fall into the pits of hell never to be seen or heard from again. Azula was all for it. She would standing on the sidelines cheering. She would hold fundraisers and parties, and dance and sing. But uncle was worried. He seemed to get it into his head that she may have been murdered on the streets of Ba Sing Se or something and sent Azula to go check.

Of course the senile old man wouldn't go himself. He had a tea-shop to look after, he couldn't walk long distances, Azula was terrible at making tea. Blah, blah, blah. It was cold! And Azula was not forgiving him.

The tram that she was buzzing along in wasn't much warmer than the land outside. In fact it was about a thousand times colder. In place of windows it had the common earth kingdom design of plain old gaping holes. These holes created a wonderful little arctic breeze as the little trolley went humming along.

Even this cold fruitless whether wasn't enough to deter the hardy citizens of the Earth Kingdom however. They couldn't stand the rain, but in subzero temperatures the tram was jam packed. To be fair, she was almost alone when she'd first gotten on in the upper Ring but now in the lower ring-- by far the largest section of the city-- they had to have people standing about, jammed up against each other just to get going. All the extra weight even made the damn thing go slower. But Azula was too busy disliking being cold to notice much of the sandwiched conditions.

To keep her face from turning black and scaly she was turned inward, away from her glorious window view staring right into the woolen groin of some bellowing peasant man. So much for having a seat. Why couldn't she have a nice earth kingdom girl in front of her, even a homely one?

Azula was starting to suspect she didn't like men at all.

The tram jerked to sudden stop letting off on glob of mindless masses and ushering in a fresh one. There was a series of loud pounding noises and a deep voice screeching out some numbers and names. Not her stop. Well at least she had this man's pelvis to entertain her.

Azula clapped her hands together suddenly. She was such an idiot. Why didn't she think of it before?

In one swift yet painful movement she remove the glove from one of her hands, freeing it up to the cool morning air, then worked to the next one. She stopped and drew in a long drag of frozen air, stretching the expanse of her lungs with a bite of cold. Then held it deep and strong until she could feel heat building in her belly, raw strength, energy tapping her senses. It bound with her breath and forced its self back out her lungs and through her chill throat and chittering teeth in a luxurious warm draft, almost palpable in its presence. The feeling was moderately exhilarating, creating anxious bubbles of excitement in her chest.

She'd almost forgotten, after all this time, she was a fire bender.

After being let out of prison, she was explicitly dissuaded from doing any fire bending unless absolutely necessary. Of course she didn't take it to heart and lit burners with her bare hands all the time, but it hardly went any further than that. Azula hadn't really realized how much of fire bending was just fighting.

With earth bending you could travel, sculpt, make houses, make doors, make jewelry. Water benders could heal at the very least. Air benders could hardly fight to begin with. What could she do with fire if not fight?

It felt as though part of her being was being denied from her. Fire bending, fire bending fir bending…

Another jolt, another pointless series of numbers. This time the crotch she'd become so acquainted with shuffled along and she was greeted with a sniffling little child, dabbing at it's runny nose. It hadn't the mind to look away and was watching Azula breathe timidly into her hands.

"Why aren't you wearing your mittens." It asked in a boyish falsetto, "Mama says you need to wear your mittens or the frost'll bite you."

She ignored it and continued breathing while the child watched in awe, remarking occasionally that it could feel her breath, and that it was hot!

When the tram had finally reached her stop she was more than relieved to leave the little beast behind and get out. She slipped her mittens back and wiggled her fingers to make sure they were all comfortable, despite the wave of coldness seeping in under her finger nails and making it feel like they were trying to separate from her hand.

The feel of hitting her boots to the ground was awkward as she wasn't actually hitting boots but two layers of wool socks and then a hide boot. It was too buoyant, had too much give, like walking on a mattress.

Azula marched down an alleyway just to the side of the tracks with a strange practiced ease. She remembered remarking the last time that she'd gone to visit Ty Lee little shack of a room, that the building was right near the tracks. Of course that didn't help them any, what with the trams being down at the time, but somehow it stuck. She remembered wondering whether Ty Lee would be woken up in the middle of the night, by a tram running down the tracks. Though she highly doubted it after seeing the thick stone walls of her room.

It was a little bit of a walk along the underside of the tracks. Although the little inn and tavern was almost right on the tracks it wasn't next to a stop so she had to give a little hike. Which was all good fun because her toes were numb, so she didn't have to worry about them being cold. Her fingers on the other hand were bouncing back hard from her warm breath and were tingling intensely. Azula heaved an audible sigh of relief when she made it through the heavy stone door to the tavern.

It was comfortable. It felt wonderfully warm to Azula of course, but in all actuality it was only about average room temperature. She suspected the room had the capability to become much warmer, if there weren't a big ill fitted door leading to the outside world mounted on the wall.

The man Azula assumed was an innkeeper looked up at seeing her enter. He was the only one in the room and seemed thoroughly engaged it scrubbing something indescribable off the wall. He smiled rather warmly at her and looked away from his work.

"Ah, hello lass." He said jovially he looked like someone who would laugh with his whole belly, "I bet you're looking for our girl. Haven't heard a peep from 'er in days. Come along now little girl. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."

Azula didn't say anything in return, just bundled her cloak tighter to her chest and followed the old man up the back stairs. She recalled the last time she had mounted these stairs, had went to Ty Lee's room with mixed feelings. That's where Ty Lee had seduced her. That's where she had run her fingers over skin so smooth it should have been point blank acidic.

The stairs creaked and groaned in front of her as the heavy set man mounted yet another case of little steps. They hadn't so much as squeaked for her Ty Lee, of course she'd hardly notice. As painful as it was to admit she had been to busy watching Ty Lee mount them to hear much of anything.

She cast a brief glance to the man in front of her and sighed. Not nearly as enjoyable this time around.

After they finished their last little groaning set of stair , the man wobbled over to the room Azula recognized to be Ty Lee's and unlocked it for her, then turned back from whence he came without another word. Azula opened the door eagerly.

She gasped the minute she did though as a blast of hot air hit her in the face. Ty Lee room was sweltering hot, and the moment Azula walked through the door she about striped all of her clothes off. She settled however on her under-robes.

With the flick of a finger she lit a bedside lamp so she could see better. Only to be greeted by Ty Lee staring up at her from her bed looking groggy. Long spidery shadows of eyelashes were cast over her full, flushed cheeks.

"Mmm.." She moaned, wiping at some sweat that had gathered around her brow line. It hardly helped though. Her hair was damp and stuck to her forehead in little childish curls, through perspiration. "Azula? What are you doing here."

Azula looked curiously down at Ty Lee. Despite the extreme heat in her room she was gathered beneath several layers of blankets and a few of her robes spread out like blankets.

And shivering.

"Checking on you." She murmured distantly before sitting on the edge of Ty Lee's bed and placing a hand on her forehead gently. "You're sick."

Ty Lee giggled wetly and closed her dark eyes "Only a teensy bit."

"Well, that's what you get for frolicking about in the rain." Azula attempted a reprimand, but got distracted by franticly deciding to go over to the water basin and ladle Ty Lee some water. Her mind was trying to run on several different tracks at the same time. Anger at her dear Ty Lee for inconveniencing her, and a sweltering worry. She must have been too ill to come to see her.

"You're not sick." She muttered though sips of water, and settled into a sweet sleepy smile. "You were frolicking too."

"Don't be ridiculous. I don't get sick and I _don't _frolic." Azula mused patiently while brushing a hand idly through Ty Lee's drenched hair.

Supposedly it was good to be warm when you had a fever. Sweat it out or something. It made sense after all, what with the body heating up to kill germs, a little extra heat must be a little extra good. But looking down at her, covered in her own sweat. Azula had her doubts.

"How long have you been in bed-- not drinking anything?" Azula keep a gentle pace, stroking through her friends damp hair. The fine strands clung to her in return, curling around her fingers as if of their own free will.

Ty Lee sighed, leaning into Azula's touch. "I don't know. Don't have a calendar." she nuzzled at Azula hand "That feels good."

If she hadn't come Ty Lee could have done way too much sweating it out. Gotten dehydrated. That wouldn't be good.

Azula petted at Ty Lee's hair a little harder than she had before.

She looked so pathetic laying there in bed, covered in sweat and blankets, not even able to keep her eyes open. But even in all of her mess and grime of sweat she still looked so sweat and beautiful. Just so innocently young. Azula didn't like that she was sick. She didn't deserve to be sick. Ty Lee just wanted to go to the zoo and now she was lying it bed stewing in her own juices.

"Listen-- 'Zula? I know I'm all yucky and gross and stuff, but will you stay here? I'd really like the company." She cracked her eyes open a very little bit. "Besides you could take care of me-- What with it being all your fault that I'm deathly ill."

"What? How is it my fault?!?" She spat. "And you are _not _deathly ill." Her voice rose for a fraction of a second before she was struck yet again by her big wet eyes. Eyes that usually looked so awake and vibrant-- full of life, now she seemed so very tired, so placid. It was almost heartbreaking.

Azula smoothed a clump of dark hair off Ty Lee's forehead, and let her fingers trail down the smooth expanse of a flawless creamy white cheek to grasp listlessly at her trembling jaw. Even to her fingers, her skin felt so hot. Heat radiated from her, melting into Azula's hands, up her arms and around her shoulders, grasping at her just so tight.

Ty Lee just gazed at her passively. Her eyes looking so much darker than usual with large pupils and heat tears threatening to dribble down her cheeks at and moment. Somehow it suited her. Azula felt remiss for even thinking such a thing about someone at their worst, but she could help but enjoy the completely trusting look of care and reliance in her face. She was lying there in her hands. She was waiting for a command, waiting for another caring touch, and trusting, so completely trusting, that with her belly up, pulse points showing she would be treated with nothing but care.

Azula moved her fingers over Ty Lee's tired eyes without thought, resting the tips of her fingers on her eyelids gently, motioning them closed. She held her face the same unintentionally. Loving, trusting, passive as she kicked up and dove under the hellish heat of the blankets with her Ty Lee.

It was becoming so she couldn't tear herself away even if she tried.


	8. The Rooftop

A/N: "You've Got the Love" lol. I specifically reworded a passage in this chapter so I could reference Florence + the Machine. It's a good song. But my favorite from her my 'TyZula' song, "Don't tell me."

Hmm… This rather short. Better than nothing though, right?

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**Chapter 8**

It was still early winter and there wasn't any snow of ice coating the ground so Azula thought it was as good a time as any to try it. Sure it was freezing but after a long day in the over heated tea shop dealing with boiling water and coal stoves the sharp chill was a welcome relief and would take some time before it wormed its way under her winter robes and hide mantle.

Azula remembered giving her servants a heart attack when she was younger after she discovered she could climb up on top of the roof and was virtually hidden and _alone _for the first time. From the moment she was born she as surrounded by people with their expectations and their rules. Every time she defeated a challenge the bar was set higher. And she always won, always conquered.

So being all alone was like heaven. At first she didn't know what to do with herself. She'd been so busy pleasing others she never learned how to please herself. On that roof top with the ceramic tiles she didn't feel like Princess Azula, youngest child of Ozai and Ursa. She just felt like Azula. That was the only place she even knew who she was. Things like favorite colors, likes and dislikes all had appeared.

And without even thinking about it she found herself doing the same thing. On the roof of the teashop, after closing when the sky was just the perfect amount of inky blue dark and the moon was just innocently pecking at the horizon.

It was just another day not knowing who she was.

The thought hit her dully, with all the fortitude of a tired old steer. She never had to be anybody, she was to busy being somebody. Still Azula was stuck in the same old state. She was somebody no longer and her only choices were to disappear or… become? Become what though-- herself? Someone else's princess? A tea-whore?

Azula sighed and tamely watched her breath float away until it became air just like every thing else. Some day she would run out of tomorrows to think about things.

"Not anytime soon." She smiled wryly and muttered to the pricking twinkling stars.

Azula remembered waking up a few morning previous in a tangle of limbs and long curly hair and thinking just the same thing-- that she would end up being there forever. Only looking at her lovely Ty Lee's innocently sleeping face it didn't seem like seem like such a terribly bad thing. Would there be more mornings when she awoke to that beautiful face? That would be a an eternity worth living.

She bit her tongue in reprimand.

No. Azula-- _Princess_ Azula was not this. She was beginning to think like a pesant. "Who cares if we haven't any money when you've got the love to make it through the day?" She was made for fine wines and cigarette holders not praying over a dinner of bread, butter, and cheap rum.

But-- how luxurious it seemed to bed with a woman. Women are so lavish, so delectable. She could see why past King's had harems, why there were houses men could go just to be in the company of fine educated women. And the idea of having a beautiful woman giving herself, her soft yielding body-- her fragile, _delicate _body to something so rough… it required a mouth-watering trust. Something that was so infinitely sweet that she couldn't imagine any other kind of love besides that of a woman.

And somewhere deep within herself in the parts she often suppressed, Azula yearned for some gentle thing to give herself to her in such a way. To yield completely to trust completely. Even knowing what an absolute monster she undoubtedly was. Trusting that the same hands that so often hurt would keep her safe, touch her soft and lovingly.

Azula watched a dark bird pass through her line of sight and rustle off into the night. How strange. He must be all alone in the winter. Birds like warm weather. Azula stifled a shiver.

But, no, she mustn't think such things. She's a princess. The only princess in the world. Princess's marry men. Princesses are expected to spawn princes. She had always been told so. But men were just so harsh, so disgusting and large and arrogant. The very idea of being the wife of someone, the lesser, the one who submits, disgusted her.

But… she wasn't in the Fire Nation any longer. Her father wasn't there to throw her in a furnace if she said lewd things to a pretty little servant. No one was telling her what to do, who to be, and she was stuck again. Same old problem. Who was Azula? And di she have the courage to be who ever it she was?

But, no…

But, yes.

There was a strange rustling that tore through her almost gratefully from her strange barrage of thoughts. Azula gave a half hearted little jump. She was just noticing how cold she was.

"It's cold out here," A voice squealed and Azula didn't even try to stop the smile that pulled at her lips-- lit up her body with warmth in defiance.

"Ty Lee." Her voice struck a gentle wistful tone, "How did you find me up here?"

Her head popped up over the edge of the rooftop and Azula watched intently as her Ty Lee pulled herself to the roof with expert strength and control.

Ty Lee smiled sweetly, "I know you, silly." Her small turned up nose was bitten with a touch of pink flush that suited her better than almost her normal complexion.

Azula chuckled lightly as Ty Lee began rubbing her hands together with a look of absolute concentration on her face. She looked so cute, so childish, so pretty.

"Come here." Azula held out a hand fingers recently released from their woolen prison.

Ty Lee looked at her hesitantly for a moment before giving Azula a brilliant smile. Their fingers fitted together with a jolt of warmth that surprised them both.

Still holding the hand tightly in her own, Ty Lee made her way to sit next to Azula in all her layers of women's robes. Her long hair, let down to warm her neck floated around her with movement like a long silk cape. After moving to sit beside Azula, Ty Lee was silent. She didn't fidget, she didn't try to start a conversation, but kept their hands neatly intertwined and warm.

And Azula felt more herself than when she was alone.


	9. The Financial District

**A/N**: Hey every body. Sorry I'm a little late. I've been meaning to update every Friday, but it just didn't happen. But to make it up to all of you lovely's I'm going work really hard to get as many chapters done and posted over the holiday's as I can. At least expect an update Friday.

Oh and Happy Thanks Giving. Honor your Native American brothers and try not to be to happy about the massacre of their race.

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**Chapter 9**

Another dreary winter morning with frost covered shingles and stifling layers of cloth. Which she hated. Which she ranted and raved about to her uncle constantly and her only focus lay on those perfectly pink lips and the delicious ways they parted.

Uncle had sent them out on an errand. Well just Azula actually but Ty Lee brightened over the prospect going to the Financial District for whatever reason and tailed her the entire way.

Even in the winter the Financial District of Ba Sing Se was filled with jostling patrons on the weekends. They swarmed around in a large faceless clump, touching arms and elbows of people they'd never met, had never seen. It was places like this that created the big web of humanity, the six degrees of separation. Weaving lines and strings so tight it was hard to move without tripping.

Being with her Ty Lee in this big mass, being the one she turned to with her slight smile, her mumbling lips, of all the people around them made Azula happy. Made her feel… possessive.

"Ty Lee." Azula scolded catching Ty Lee meandering out of the main market, "We are here for the wretched tea and that's all. You'll shop on your own time."

Ty Lee turned her bright eyes Azula's way and flashed her a smile. "Oh, come on 'Zula, just a second? I saw the perfect dress… I'll let you buy it for me." She giggled in a deliberately cute manner and Azula turned her head counted at the number of stalls they'd passed.

"Maybe on the way back," She muttered slyly, "If you're are a good little girl for me."

Ty Lee cooed, obviously pleased, "Don't you worry. I'm always good." she paused for a moment to give Azula her most stunning smile before snapping her head around to the next distraction. This time a scant display of flowers.

"Azula! Please? Daffodils are my favorites."

Azula sighed and continued walking in the direction she was headed. This would go a lot faster if she didn't stop with Ty Lee every time she willed it. She made a mental note never to take Ty Lee to the markets ever again. She buzzed around like a little child. You'd think she hadn't been wealthy her entire life.

In the bustling center of the market Azula finally found a building with a sign matching the messy scrawl Uncle had handed to her. Fortunately enough it was one of the buildings amongst the endless wooden stalls and she had a chance to at least depart from the biting wind.

The shop admitted her with the little tingle of a tin bell and a barrage of smells very familiar to the Jasmine Dragon but in a ridiculously greater quantity. Dry, dead, old, and dusty. The domain of corpses, or those close to such a fate.

"Hello dear." A sweet motherly voice called from across the small front room. The shop was put together like many lower class places in the Earth Kingdom, smooth bland stone walls and graying ancient wood. Metal boxes lined the shelves and the flooring was a patch work of strip metal, thin as a sheet of paper but still did it's job of deterring any would be earth-bending thieves.

An elderly looking woman smiled over the counter, her head partially obscured by a crude metal chain work. "You must be Iroh's little niece." She chuckled softly, "Of course a handsome man would have such a pretty relative. I wish my son were still around, he would just love a piece of you." She cooed a little, completely oblivious to the disgusted sneer on Azula's face.

The little old lady turned away momentarily to get a hold of an old thick ledger. Then held out a hand.

It took Azula a moment to realize why she had been holding out her hand, and she just stared at it dumbly. It was about the third time the nice patient old lady shook her hand irritably and cleared her throat that Azula dropped an envelope in her hand full of money. The woman just smiled and tucked it under her desk without even looking inside.

Azula had forgotten about the idiosyncrasy many elderly in Ba Sing Se seemed to have about money. She assumed it was a cultural thing. Once she had given a patron a bill facing up and been told she was incredibly rude for doing so. Even amongst the younger citizen's money had a habit of being exchanged through sealed envelopes.

"Does your old uncle want just the usual? Nothing special this time?" The woman said genially while wetting her nib and scribbling away on paper that looked too too thin.

Azula continued to stare at her calmly, silently. She'd never had much tolerance for small talk. It was a pointless waste of time. This idiot woman knew perfectly well that there would be a list in the envelope she had been handed. But Uncle had specifically bade her to be "nice" when she left that morning. Didn't matter even, the old coot wasn't listening for her anyway.

Somehow she was becoming used to this process of degrading servitude, and staying silent, biting her tongue, was one of the little tricks she used to be what she was supposed to be. People as a whole are very unobservant. They never noticed.

Azula listened to people sometimes and heard their transparent words. Didn't they know what they sounded like? People were so easy, really. They reveal every little thought in their heads without even realizing it. Even the dirty little thoughts they'd want to keep secret. Especially the dirty little thoughts.

Sometimes Azula had the vague wish that she could be one of them. She wished her only worries were about whether her shoes looked nice or if she was being a good enough sister, mother, daughter. She wished sometimes that she could be dumb. Dumb and happy.

Instead she was drowning in a terrible feeling of cowardice. She had the intelligence to think about life and morals outside the mores someone had pushed on her, the world had pushed on her. She knew that at the end of the day, each and every human being was an animal ripe for the picking, loyal to only his or her own self. She knew that emotions were imaginary, the world simply just was, and if you'd get too caught up in the feelings of things you'd be too heavy to float. She knew that love, kinship even, were just automatic responses to people and things that satisfied needs. She knew she was all alone.

She knew all these things, but for a minute she wished she didn't.

Just a minute.

So she'll be the martyr then. As always Azula would be strong, centripetal, solitary. Common people just got so caught up in their seconds of momentary bliss, their infant stupidity that they didn't realize there was a whole world ripe for the picking. If she had to sacrifice this thing called happiness to be a competent human being she would do it.

Azula jumped at the sharp sound of the tin bell behind her swinging around defensively to greet it, to know. There stood, of course, like a lost little puppy, her Ty Lee in moss green robes.

She smiled her silly shy half smile and dropped her eyes slightly for half a moment letting dark eye lashes flutter.

"Hello dear, Can I help you?" The old lady looked up from her writing for a moment to greet Ty Lee with the same dull smile she'd given Azula.

"N-no.." Ty Lee scuttled over to Azula and clutched instinctively at the crook of her elbow. Showing the stranger that she was with her, killing the conversation on all their lips.

The old lady nodded curtly and penned down a few more words before jolting suddenly into a sharp screech of "Boy!"

A small child around the age of eight or so scrambled out of the back. The child like more of the lower class children looked very shabby and unclean. Upon seeing Ty Lee and Azula the thing put on a smultzy smile.

"Hey girls." It mimed a heavy nod, "Can I help you?"

Ty Lee immediately found herself in a fit of giggles and bent down to shake the child's hand, smiling down when it bent down to kiss at her fingers instead earning him a reprimand from the tea lady ushering him back to fetch their goods.

"Sorry about my grandson. His drunk of a mother takes him around taverns too much and his been picking up bar habits." She smiled dutifully and shook her head. "I'll have him deliver your tea back in about a day or so. We have a lot of stock to sort through, you see. Don't want to give you something poisonous by mistake do we?"

Azula all but ran out of the store, after being given the cue that she could leave. She was feeling very much like a common person who dealt with tea for living and didn't like it. She didn't like how readily she was able to identify the specific smells she was smelling, she didn't like old people, and she didn't like nasty little children.

"Wasn't he just the cutest?" Ty Lee fell in step beside Azula deftly intertwining their arms, creating a small blossom of warmth in the cool chill. It surprised Azula how comfortable it felt to have her arm there, how natural.

She focused her eyes straight ahead trying extra hard to fit the two of them, side-by-side through the crowd. "That boy looked disease ridden." she grit her teeth. "You should wash your hand."

"I love kids, they are so little and innocent. And cute!" She ignored Azula and grinned widely, "Did you see his teeth? His two front teeth? Kid's are so cute when they are missing their two front teeth. And that lisp?"

"Children are just small stupid people."

Ty Lee giggled, "You were a cute little girl. And smart too." she nodded and gave Azula a sweet smile. "I hope I have bunches of little kids like that."

Azula scoffed a little. She had never been particular fond of kids, and was quite certain she had never been one herself. At the earliest point in her life she could remember thinking herself a fully grown adult trapped and degraded into a child's body.

"Do you ever want to have kids, Azula?" she prodded gently.

"No." She responded almost immediately, looking over at Ty Lee to implore her motives at asking such a question.

"I think you'd be a really good mom." Ty Lee smiled and looked ahead of her. They were nearing the steps up to the tram platform. Steps unconsciously slowing.

Azula laughed incredulously, "What ever makes you think that?"

Ty Lee bit on to her lip. "You're strong, really strong, and I think you'd teach your kids to be strong too."

She stopped moving completely at the foot of the stair steps and looked up pensively. Azula shrugged her arms away from Ty Lee's grasp only to reach down and grab a hold of her hand, with a boldness she didn't know she had.

The sunlight shown down through the slats of the track brightly, casting little stripes of light and shadow across Ty Lee's pretty round face, lighting up one eye and casting the other in deep shadow. Azula looked at her vacantly scanning over every inch of exposed skin she could find. The deep gray eyes, the little strands of gold interwoven with her plain brown hair, the slight flush on her cold cheeks.

How sweet it was to just stand there. To be like every one else. Hand in hand with someone she cared for, a pretty little devoted girl. No worries. No troubles. She could see why so many people would choose this life.

"No, I'm not." Her grip tightened as she let herself mount the first stair back to her life of drudgery, all for that little hand clasped in hers. Giving up her whims and morals and will as she always did when her Ty Lee looked at her just so. "I'm not strong at all."

If she were strong she wouldn't need someone else like this. She wouldn't be stuck in the damnable Earth Kingdom, lying in bed at night wondering not what her next plot or plan might be but rather if Ty Lee would be wearing the cute dress she loved so much, that made her look so darling and beautiful.

Someone strong wouldn't give up like this. And she was trying and trying and trying. But it was so hard when so something as simple as having a soft little hand in hers could make the world light up so bright she couldn't see anything else.

And so she went back. To The Jasmine Dragon. To uniforms and tea kettles and fire bending to light burners. And Ty Lee standing there day after day, making it all feel not so bad after all.


	10. The Words

**A/N:** Hey everyone. It's Friday. I said I'd update Friday and here I am. I will hopefully update again on Sunday because this chapter is so evil. And Sunday might mean 2 in the morning Monday.

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**Chapter 10**

She was dressed so nice that day. It stood out, shone above all the other days of drudgery. No one else seemed to notice of course. Azula was trying her hardest to look as though she didn't care.

Ty Lee came into the shop that morning looking absolutely immaculate. On top of her warmer winter robes she wore a pointless amount of intermingling sheaths of liquid silk, expertly patterned, vibrantly green. Even her long downy hair had the texture of the finely woven fabric. She showed it off to it's extreme letting the faintly curling strands float and wasp around her unbound, save for a small gold hairpin mimicking the rare gleam of a gold strand of hair.

Azula looked at Ty Lee all glitzed and glamoured up intellectually intrigued and moderately annoyed. She was reminiscent of the courtly women Azula had often seen buzzing around her childhood home, always with more money than brains, more ornamentation than substance. But her soft-willed heart rebelled to look on her not as one of the shallow women who would pet at her hair and give her foiled chocolates, but instead the women's fine clothes, the brightly rouged lips, just made her look very exquisitely female. Very "girly". The thought made her grin ear to ear.

Although she herself had never been fond of wearing women's clothes, she had always liked them. She liked girls behaving like girls. Delicate dumb things with haughty attractive voices, with hair and skin so smooth it felt as though it might melt on her fingertips. She only occasionally felt a sting of the hypocrisy in prizing female characteristics in others and choking them down in herself.

Azula wanted to ask Ty Lee about her dress, but obstinately refused the desire assuming her dear friend was angling for some sort of reaction in the first place. Azula was _not_ one to do what people were expecting of her.

"Azula." Her uncle mouthed calmly over a full cup of tea. "I think it will snow soon. You know what they say about the first snow don't you?"

Azula sighed and continued shuffling through endless canisters of tea leaves and dying flowers. "Oh, I don't know, Uncle. Does it mean the Gods are angry or some such? Old folk like you are always plugging at some punishment or another."

"Probably. If I were a God looking down on this world I'm sure I would see a great many things that would anger me." Iroh smiled happily and inhaled a mouthful of steam. "I was just going to say that that it must be cold."

"Brilliant observation, Uncle." She quipped and lit up a burner. The flame started a nice and solid blue before wavering into lameness.

Azula lifted her eyes to the solitary window in the kitchenette. The scene outside seemed the same as any other. People bustling around, close together, far apart, all uniformed in stark green loyalty. Nothing screamed snow to her.

Across the room Iroh sighed, "Has any one ever told you, you have very little spiritual awareness?"

"Yes, I believe I've heard that before." Azula mused distantly while looking over the pad of paper she used to take orders. She used to have such wonderful hand writing, but with as fast as some people talked she had to adjust to keep up. The results were devastating.

"Hello, dear." Azula fought the urge to turn from the range top to see who her uncle was greeting. "My, my, you could give an old man a heart attack looking like that!"

"What? An old man? Where?" Behind her Azula heard Ty Lee's stupid sounding laugh blending with her uncle's. She held her tongue and tried to get back to work.

"Did you see the sky today?" Iroh asked in a very different voice than the one he had used to speak to Azula.

"Oh, yeah." Ty Lee squeaked, "It looked so nice and crisp-- yet foreboding. I think it'll snow soon."

"I agree completely." Uncle took a loud slurp of his tea. "Is there any thing I can help you with. More tea, dear? I can put some on myself, and save us from any thing my niece might be concocting."

"I like Azula's tea. It's got character." She giggled. "I was just wondering why Azula hasn't taken her break yet it's getting kinda late. I've just been over there waiting. All alone."

Azula licked at her lips and removed the kettle a slight bit prematurely for a distraction. "It's a busy day. Lots to do."

"Busy? There's practically nobody in here!" Ty Lee squealed indignantly. Azula could hear the childish petulance in her voice, but behind that a distinctive clicking sound. Relieved Azula turned on heel towards the door.

"Hello! Welcome to The Jasmine Dragon!" She said loudly and probably more convincingly than she ever had in her life. The customer looked taken a back at all the attention, but never the less nodded and allowed herself to be seated. Azula took her order on her hand. She'd forgotten to bring her note pad.

It was getting a bit late. And it was fairly deserted inside the shop. Even Uncle would admit that his shop took a bit of a beating during the winter months; he was thinking of shortening his hours until spring. The trouble with all this was, Azula didn't like all the quiet time. She didn't want to think. There was nothing logical about her situation and thinking would only work to depress her. Today especially she needed a distraction and the universe, as if often did, answered her call with the precise opposite.

All day she'd been thinking about Ty Lee. It made her feel ridiculous. It made her feel sick. She felt like some little boy staring bashfully at a court maiden from afar. She didn't want to be that person and at least from a distance she could trust that she would only revert to that level mentally. If Ty Lee was with her, she couldn't be responsible for herself. She couldn't trust her actions.

Azula moved back to the kitchenette carefully, as slowly as she could possibly manage. Eyes carefully glued to the ground and away from any eyes she might meet. Any pretty eyes. Any judging ones.

"You know, I think you're ignoring me." Ty Lee huffed the moment Azula appeared back behind the pass station. "And I don't like it one bit."

"Now don't be ridiculous, darling." Azula snapped back into her underused viper-strike tone with ease, loving how easy and safe every word felt dripping off her lips. At the same time her heart was beating a hundred miles a minute. She looked up into Ty Lee's large grey eyes. Had to, had to, had to. Just for the effect and almost melted. But her mouth kept moving. "Why ever would I grant you that level of consideration?"

Ty Lee looked down to her hands crestfallen and quiet. "I don't-- I don't know why you would. Sorry."

Azula teetered on her heels and pointedly ignored a look of warning her uncle was giving her. "In fact. It is strange that you would ever achieve this misstep. I mean, surely, you must have known that I would tire of your _stalking_ sooner or later." She licked her lips, only vaguely noticing they had started to shake. "So ignore you, dear? You deserve much more than that. You're such a silly little pathetic thing."

"Azula! That's enough of this." Uncle placed a hand on her arm rather roughly. "Apologize to your friend now."

"D-don't. It's okay. Really. She's absolutely right." Ty Lee looked up and the look on her pretty face was absolutely heartbreaking. Azula was startled by the wave of empathy that rushed over her, the strong desire to coddle her, and the terrible nauseousness in the pit of her stomach.

"That's right anything I say." But she didn't stop. Couldn't stop. There was a sick grin of her face that she seemed to have a mind of its own. "You make me so sick. How can any one have so little presence? H-how can anyone be so moronic, really? Pathetic! _Pathetic! _And maybe, just maybe, I don't want to look at you when you're all rouged up like a whore. Not like this is all that different from your usual get up, you dis--"

"Azula!" Iroh interrupted her yanking sharply on her arm.

She was crying. Ty Lee was crying. Didn't even have the decency to leave the room, not allow others to see the sign of weakness. But for some reason when Azula saw her standing there so small, so delicate in the middle of the wide open teashop, all eyes on her and her tears, she didn't think she looked so weak. Ty Lee had to be very strong to trust someone like her. To put up with someone like her.

"I'll just-- I think I'm going to just leave you alone now." She muttered wetly, while wiping at her eyes, "Obviously don't want me around anyhow…"

Azula couldn't tear her eyes away. She couldn't speak. She couldn't do anything. Usually words came her so easily, the right manipulation for every little situation. Azula prized herself on her ability to always have control of evrything, the right words to say. But nothing came to her. It was so, so, so important and her tongue went lame.

Ty Lee turned around much more slowly than usual. It was almost a relief. Azula hated how she felt looking at that face. She hated not being able to control the situation. She hated hating it too.

This could be the end of her problem. Azula could just let Ty Lee walk away and she would never have to deal with her dreadful "infatuation" with the girl again. She could live the life she was supposed to live. A life full of dignity and power.

Without Ty Lee distracting her, Azula could go back to figuring out her life. What ever happened to her plans of trying to take back the Fire Nation. What happened to killing Uncle and disappearing into the Earth Kingdom to recruit an army. All of her plans, all of her dreams for the future had disappeared the moment Ty Lee walked into the picture.

Ever since she was a little girl she'd hoped and dreamed of becoming Fire Lord. After her father, of course, but any way would do. She could take over the world. She could live in a palace. She would never have to take any one's dammed order again. She'd never have to lift a finger. She would live the life proper for a princess. Proper for royalty.

All if she let Ty Lee walk out that door.

Somehow it didn't seem like such a bright future anymore.


	11. The Lonely

**A/N:** This chapter made me want to freaking cry. It's strange though. I never write ANYTHING angst. I hate feeling sad. That really was the whole point of this fic to begin with, a "happy" fan fiction without being too terribly cliché. I want my darling Azula to be happy and loved, but I suppose to do so we have to address the fact that she never really was as a child. "happy and loved" I mean. It's a sad thing. I promise more happiness next chapter though.

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**Chapter 11**

Everybody always leaves. No. Everybody Azula cares for always leaves. She used to think she was the one that was defective. That there was just something about her that made her unnecessary. Something that made her unlovable.

Even when she tried so hard, followed all the rules, performed well-above average in everything she was greeted with nothing but cool eyes. It never made sense. She would look around and see people who weren't as special as her, people who were stupid, slow, and low-born surrounded by herds of people giving them praise and hugs and love. Parents who told them they were special even when they obviously weren't. Friends who laughed even when they weren't being funny.

Azula was so smart. She was beautiful. She was talented beyond belief. Why then did her mother whisper things about her when she thought her daughter wasn't around? Why did all the silly little girls giggle over clumsy weak Zuko and want to be around him?

All these things made her think the world was unfair. They made her think that maybe she had a funny way of talking. Maybe she wasn't as pretty as all her maid-servants told her. Maybe there was just _something_, a vague indescribable "thing" that made her fall flat.

Her father told her that it was everyone else's short comings not hers. He told her that common people were inferior and hardly worthy of consideration. He told her there was no such thing as love other than love for your leader and love for your country. Of course he left too. Just like her mother. Just like Zuko, Uncle, Mai -- Ty Lee. The same seen played over and over and over again.

Azula had mixed feelings about her father at this point. He was the only one who ever gave a damn about her. He talked to her so sweet and gave her such pretty things. Of course he talked sweeter to himself and reserved the prettiest little trinkets for him and him alone. He walked away from her when she needed someone so desperately.

But still she knew her father was right. It was everyone else who had the problem. They were threatened by those greater than them. They didn't like being around some who made them look so dull and therefore prized inadequacy seeing the failings akin to their own.

That's why everyone left. They were weak. She was strong.

As a strong person she could handle it. She could let people pass her by and still not give in. She could be alone, she didn't need people that failed at everything. She didn't need that nice feeling of hearing someone speak to her with words of melting sweetness. Words of lies.

Azula could let Ty Lee go. She should. Ty Lee was one of the weak ones after all, that's why she was leaving. It was only a matter of time before this happened. Azula didn't need her. She didn't need any one. She didn't. She _didn't._

Azula didn't move for the longest time. Uncle was speaking to her, first loudly then more soft, but she really wasn't listening. Her eyes were locked on the front door of the tea shop. She was counting down the minutes it might take Ty Lee to reach the tram. Counting down the amount of time it would take until she was unreachable again. Until Azula was all alone again.

She felt sick to her stomach. A little bodily ploy to tempt her to do the weak thing. Something to make her drop all her resolve and walk out that door, no run and somehow catch her. Azula didn't like feeling bad, and feeling was just the worst.

Ty Lee must have been all the way back to her little room in the tavern by now. Azula'd been counting and counting and counting. Still not too late. Still to dangerous to dare movement. Still couldn't trust herself not to break.

She allowed her feet some movement. Uncle was still babbling in her ear about something and the sound was starting to get jarring. Maybe a little bit of fresh air would help her to feel better. There was no harm, no temptation in just stepping outside the door and taking a mouthful of cool night air. Maybe it would clear her head. Help her differentiate between logical thoughts and perfectly logical sounding rationalizations.

The steps outside felt so tiring. Her feet were heavy lead weights, weak physical things detached from who she was right then, all she was right then, endless thoughts and mitigations. Nothing human to connect her to everyone else. Nothing that bristled when touched by a loving hand. She just felt so tired of it all.

Azula stepped outside, all feline grace, cool and silent resolve. She let the soles of her shoes hit the stone steps just light enough to make a noise barely discernable. Like a ghost on the scene. The tall fountain in front of the shop glimmered by the light of a thousand stars and hissed blissfully unaware of her presence. There would have to be ice covering the rim by now. Soon there would be no spout of water at all. Just cool unadulterated silence. Nothing to hide her presence from this place.

It didn't seem right. Too quiet. Just like yesterday and the day before. Water kept on moving, night kept bleeding into white cold day. This silent place was alone with her, alone for her.

The rooftop.

That's right. She still had the rooftop. Maybe her thoughts would be nicer to her up there. It had always been such a good place before. A rare moment of alone time. If she went there maybe she could trick herself into believing once again that being all by herself was a good thing. Strengthen her resolve. Stop whining and feeling sorry for her self.

She moved over to the side of the building in a meditative silence, squashing the desire to flat out smash the innocently resting flower pot by the door. Where the sudden anger came from she had no idea, but knew nothing could come of it. Her fingers brushed the cool ceramic tile with a sort of relief. The stretch of her muscles to pull herself up was a small slice of bliss. It bellied her desire to get up and run until every inch of her body was humming with life. Azula pulled herself so easy the wonderful stretch was gone before she could enjoy it.

What she saw…

Their eyes met with an almost palpable energy. Azula lost her breath. There were no words. Just nothing.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Ty Lee started and tried desperately to scramble to her feet. There were track of eye make-up running down her cheeks. "I was going to leave. I just couldn't. Silly, I know. Stupid, really."

Azula just stared at her. She was starting to lose her balance a little standing on the edge of the uneven rooftop. Without speaking, or thinking really, she moved to her knees and continued to stare.

"I know you don't like me so much. I know you were just being benevolent putting up with me all this time. Maybe I'm just an idiot, but I really do like you. I really admire you. I just want to be around you, Azula." Ty Lee let her eyes go to her intertwined hands on her lap. She had relaxed a little when Azula didn't immediately shoot her down. "And this, right here, is where you are. I just wanted to say goodbye, one last time. You'd hear me I think. Even if you weren't listening."

"You are an idiot" Azula breathed. Her eyes crinkled as she saw the washed out look her words inspired. "I'm glad though. Very glad actually." Her breathing shook as it left her mouth almost like a laugh.

"Soo… I amuse you?" Ty Lee mouthed incredulously.

"Sometimes yes." Azula coughed into her hand. What was she saying? Her mind barely had the capacity to formulate words at the moment. She was so good at this too. Why couldn't she pin down what she wanted to say and say it. There was definitely something that she wanted to say.

"Well, I'm glad too. At least I'm good for something." Ty Lee bit at her shaky lips, and let another choking sob pass through her lips. The sound resonated through Azula's fingertips.

Why couldn't she say anything? This was it wasn't it? This was her hurting people. Azula the monster, thriving on misery. Even when she had the power to relieve suffering she didn't take it. There were just no words in her mouth or in her head or anything. She could scarcely breath let alone think.

What did she want? What did she want? By the gods, what the hell did she want?

"D-don't leave." Azula hissed helplessly, the words leaving her mouth before she could even think. The words came as a huge relief to her. She felt so much lighter having said them. For how long had she been wanting to say those words to someone? To anyone?

A small smile lit the corner of Ty Lee's perfect red lips, she looked down to hide it, "Of course," she choked, "Whatever you want Azula."


	12. The Tram

**A/N:** I know I update too fast, you've all mentioned it numerous times. I'm just in this writing frenzy lately. This chapter is kind of short, compared to others.

To make up for all the angsting of the last chapter I give you teeth rotting fluff. Haha. Enjoy.

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**Chapter 12**

The two of them were all alone together, but they might as well have been by themselves fettering up another preamble, bracing for the next tide. Azula had come to learn by now that she just wasn't someone that things came easy to. A period of calm meant trouble was on the horizon. She knew it couldn't be so easy. She _knew_.

Azula and Ty Lee were on the tram in the middle of a cold night. Ty Lee dressed in all her glorious spangles that had gotten her in so much trouble before and Azula freezing in her thin work uniform but not allowing her self to shiver. The air had a taste to it, felt strangely wet, was just a part of a night that had a presence all it's own. With inky black skies and lantern lights flittering right by like little spirits traveling in the night.

Ty Lee in the middle of all the lights and sounds sat in an uncharacteristically silent repose. Back straight, hands clasped tightly, ankles crossed. The movement of the tram blew long tendrils of hair between the two of them, a connection when all was so very silent, so very alone. She looked like some ethereal visage amongst her spirit brethren. A ghost maiden killed on her way to somewhere, to something. Stuck forever searching for that destination without a notion of what it might be.

Azula had said her peace already, allowed her heart when usually it wouldn't even been spared the consideration. There were no words of comfort on her tongue. She would never apologize for any thing, even if it's what her mole of a conscious was begging her to do. This silence could be a comfort if she wanted it. A punishment for her sinful pride, if she didn't.

"You didn't have to walk me back, you know?" Ty Lee muttered hardly disguising an ounce of childish rakishness. She sounded faintly bitter, very against her usual forgive and forget attitude. "I don't need you holding my hand."

Azula nodded mutely, not even turning to look towards her, "I know."

The sound settled between them again. It was belligerent, almost palpable.

The humming.

The quiet.

"It's nice of you though." Her little voice sounded so shrill through the air, "I mean, thanks. Yeah thanks-- for being around me and everything."

"It's a pleasure." Azula whispered.

"I'm so sure--"

"It _is_ a pleasure." Azula asserted blatantly. Better than being alone in her little bed worrying whether Ty Lee would even bother coming back in the morning. Worrying whether of not she truly was offended and hurt and hating her. This deadly silence with her was much preferred to any other. At least she had the assurance of Ty Lee being there.

"Azula?" She whispered again. Such a restless thing really. Could never sit for more than a moment.

Azula let her head turn to the side, make close eye contact with Ty Lee. Since when had they been so close. So very, very close. Trapped together in a prison of wisping hair.

Ty Lee looked so pretty in the dark. She looked very pretty in the day as well, but the night hid, disguised her in a lustful manner. Made her look hardly herself, and yet still reeking with the raw sensuality that could only come from Ty Lee. The soft shadows, the ever passing colored lights made her face a smooth palette of color with deep, deep darks around her eyes, on her plump reddened lips, on the ever so slight cleft of her little chin that quivered delicately in the cold. Azula thought that if managed to live into old age this was the way she wished to remember her childhood Ty Lee.

Azula moved her head curiously closer in the column of flowing hair lifting a hand to test her boundaries absently, to run her fingers through the lovely mess of russet curls. A small smile passed her lips as she saw the endearing flush on Ty Lee's cheeks.

"You can be so very pretty at times." her mouth moved slowly, deliriously, and without her approval. Somehow Azula felt her breath run thick and heavy. Such a burden to speak. To breathe. To simply live all hours of the day.

Ty Lee closed her lovely dark eyes casting a spidery shadows long across her childishly plump cheeks. A marvel of a smile passed over her gentle arching lips that felt heartbreakingly warm.

"Coming from such a renowned beauty, I'll take that as a compliment." She teased lightly holding her eyes shut with visible force. A spark of tension marked her features before she opened her sad eyes and reached up a gentle hand to take Azula's from her hair.

Their fingers fitted together perfect and warm. They looked so nice together, smooth and light. A picture of the feminine. Ty Lee didn't withdrawal her hand.

"Do you want me?" She whispered suddenly, casting her doe eyes away from their intertwined fingers up to Azula's face with an ounce of daring.

Azula almost choked, "Wh-What?"

"Do you want me to be here with you like this?" Ty Lee dropped her stare bashfully, "I don't want you to be polite, or feel guilty or anything. If I annoy you I annoy you. But… I don't want to bug you, Azula. If you really want me to leave I'll go. I don't mind it so much."

Azula craned her neck closer, trapped in a feeling a warmth so very foreign to her. Her thumb ran absently over the warm soft skin on the back of Ty Lee's hand. Coddling her, appeasing her in a way that didn't make her feel as weak as she thought it would.

"Ty Lee." She let the name slip through her teeth soft and slow before reaching out her free hand to lift up her companions chin, raising their eyes to meet. Daring her to disbelieve. "If I didn't want you with me you'd have been gone a long time ago."

"Aww, you're just saying that." Ty Lee smiled brightly, and bit at her lip. "I feel the same way." She moved the small fingers on her free hand up to tug playfully at Azula's hair.

Azula let herself smile at the tiny gesture of caring, and couldn't get the thing to die off her lips afterward. She turned away from Ty Lee who didn't press her even in the slightest to distract herself with the movement of her own loose hair.

Despite the cold of a new winter, the threat of the first year's snow and her lack of clothing she felt so warm. Her muscles stung with the lack of movement. She wanted to stand, to move, to scream. She just felt so bubbly, so restless, so giddy for the first time in what felt like ages. Long after that insubordinate smile died off her lips and the two of them settled back into a comfortable friendly silence the feeling didn't leave. It clung to her skin, to her thoughts, and to her long slender hand still entwined with Ty Lee's.


	13. The Visitor

**A/N:** Short little chapter. Again, sorry. I've got the next chapter written just need to edit and the like. Hopefully it will be up tomorrow and if not, Saturday.

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**Chapter 13**

She was late. Usually Ty Lee got to the Tea Shop at a relatively descent time in the morning, still half asleep nonetheless but she was there. Around ten, if she was feeling boisterous nine. It was edging past two and she hadn't so much as dropped in to say hello.

Uncle told Azula not to worry. Not to get tied up in knots and drive her self insane. His only justification was that Ty Lee "probably" wasn't lying dead in gutter somewhere. Azula didn't rely on guesses and minor observations, she thrived under routine and constant preening. She compromised, and gave her another hour to rise from the ashes.

It's not that she was worried. Azula was fully confident Ty Lee could handle just about any common thug on the streets. They had trained together, they had taught each other things. A failure on Ty Lee's part was as good as a failure on her own, they were of the same stock after all. She was just disquieted, on edge. Something didn't feel right in the pit of her stomach and she wanted the feeling to go away. If Ty Lee was there with her, fine and well she could be comfortable again.

This strange reliance on Ty Lee to insure her condition was the most troubling thing of all. When did she become someone who needed other people just get through the day-to-day?

Azula had been waitressing all day. Uncle had deemed her not in the right state of mind to be trusted with fire so she was entrusted with mindless meat bags instead. She was all hello and thank you, with a wink and a sly smile, a slight gravel in her voice. It wasn't something she loved with a passion but the opportunity to make others uncomfortable was intoxicating.

Her hide soled slippers tapped across the flooring to the thrumming of her heart, to the ticking of a clock, just another cog. Tick, tick, tick. Maybe the ancients had been wrong tagging their mantras and meditations to the sound the earth made at conception. Azula suspected it to be nothing more than a hollow drum that could place a being closer to their nature.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

"Azula!" she heard a voice call out on the far other side of the room and turned more anxiously than she should have allowed herself. She knew that voice. That was Ty Lee's voice.

Azula turned to look to her, nose all pink hair disheveled by the wind. She looked cute and summery, like she hadn't been dead at all. An involuntary smile pressed her lips and only grew when she saw Ty Lee return it in kind. But it died on her lips when Azula saw what was behind her.

Mai.

How long had it been since they had last seen each other? Mai had not once come to visit her in prison the way Ty Lee had. Sure she had heard things about her former friend. She was still running around with Zuko pretending to be grown ups. That's about all she ever managed to get out of Ty Lee before changing the subject.

There and been a time when the three of them were friends, or friendly like any way. Mai had never been the great partner in crime that Ty Lee had been. She had too much free will of her own and was completely unable to see the greatness that was Azula. Still she was useful. She could fight. And if Azula had an in with Mai she had a way to get to Zuko.

But now they looked at each other with cold eyes. Azula couldn't help but feel a swelling of bitterness in her chest. Mai had spoken out against her, betrayed he completely and utterly after all. The sting of such things didn't just disappear.

"Hello, Azula," Mai in all her long limbed grace took a sweeping stride forward, arms behind her back head tilted just so. When had she learned these behaviors? They seemed so political. "I'm sure you're just as happy to see me as I am you."

Ty Lee tugged at her companion's long wide sleeve in a warm friendly manner, still staying resolutely at Mai's side. "Look who I found wandering around the courtyard muttering to herself." she teased, and let her eyes run over to Azula, curiously asking for some sort of response to her actions, but she stayed quiet. "We went out for lunch and hit the town a little. You know, got all caught up and stuff. It was fun."

Mai and Azula locked eyes intensely.

"I kept telling Mai that you are so totally wearing a uniform but she wouldn't believe me-- See look, it's just like the other employee's. Doesn't Azula look cute as a 'working girl'? " Ty Lee rambled on oblivious to the tension floating around in the air.

Azula almost jumped out of her skin when a large gruff hand landed on her shoulder.

"Ah, if it isn't my nephew's _lovely _lady friend. Are you here for business or pleasure." Iroh paused, "Wait, let me show you a table to rest your feet. It must have been a long journey all the way from the Fire Nation."

"I doubt she walked all the way." Ty Lee quipped.

Uncle tossed control of the shop over to a male worker without much care before escorting the girls to one of the nicer tables in a back room. This room was reserved for special occasions or patrons who had a lot of money to spare. The entire walk neither Azula or Mai said a word.

"So what brings you to this fair city in the middle of such a cold winter?" Iroh asked after insisting they all have some sort of drink sitting in front of them. "Does Zuko have some very important meeting with the Earth King?"

"No. Zuko is still at home. He was going to come with me but apparently the state of feuding island nations is more important." She moved the tip of a long white finger around the rim of her teacup.

"More important than meeting with his Uncle? I am getting to be quite an old man. I suspect I'll be on my death bed before my nephew has a spare moment to visit me." He jabbed lightly before patting on Mai's elegant hand affectionately. "Tell him he is forgiven."

"Yes, of course." Mai blinked. "Actually that's what I came here to talk you about. Not the dying, but coming to Ba Sing Se."

"Oh, don't worry about me, dear, you don't need to drag Zuko away from his work for a dying old man." Iroh exaggerated a cough into his hand.

She paused, oddly, then nodded her head, "Actually, we are thinking of getting married in the city."

Ty Lee's squealed loudly enough to make them all jump back.

"Isn't it fantastic?" She turned to Mai and stroked her cheek affectionately, "And, cute!"

"Anyhow," Mai cleared her throat awkwardly, "The Earth King has graciously allowed us to use the palace for the wedding. A political move if you ask me, though you wouldn't think he's the type. Zuko likes the idea though. It's close to family, and this way Azula can go." She turned towards Azula with a smirk, "What with you being banned from leaving the country and all."

"What a marvelous brother offering me such consideration. I'm afraid I'll have to decline though," Azula licked her lips, "I find the whole ordeal repulsive."

"He does though-- love you, I mean-- through some inconceivable notion." Mai shook her head softly, "That's all I came to say. Too much of an affair over such a little thing, but Zuko wanted to tell Iroh in person-- to see his reaction. Isn't he just the marvelous planner?"

She stood to take her leave almost immediately, the only tell of her anxiousness to get away. Then turned back. "I know you don't want to hear it, Azula, but you look well. Healthy. Zuko wanted me to see how you are and there you have it. That's as far as this goes."

"Well aren't you just the sweetest thing." Azula muttered with a deep practiced grin.

And she left with as little fanfare as she came, allowing Uncle for her escort. No imperials guard, not even a palanquin for the future Fire Lady.


	14. The Window

**A/N:** More fluff. :)

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**Chapter 14**

She was supposed to be wiping down tables, cleaning up shop for the day to go home. Uncle had left early, to see that Mai was settling well for the night, and left Azula to close for the day for the first time. She had to make sure all the tables were clean, tally up the profits and see if they matched sales sheets, transfer all of their money to a safe. Many things she'd watched her uncle do time and time again but never had the blissful opportunity to do so herself.

Azula had already handled the money first. She preferred the quiet distraction of mathematics and the importance of handling cold hard currency to soap and rag cleaning. What other choice did she have though really?

It was only about ten in the evening but already the streets were completely vacant. Usually even inside the shop there was a constant bustling of life in some shape or form resonating from the outside. But now the world fell silent.

Even Ty Lee respected the solemn vow. Sticking to herself for once, not invading on Azula while she was working. Her back was turned from Azula, nose pressed to a cold window like a little child. She was waiting for her to get done.

It was a strange little thing she did. Azula had never really took note of it before that instant but Ty Lee really had absolutely no reason to be here so late at night. In fact it was very likely dangerous to be traveling through the slummy streets of the lower ring when all was dark and quiet. Not that Ty Lee couldn't handle herself, its just people have a way of disappearing when the sky turns dark.

Every day, for no reason at all she waited for Azula to leave so she could leave too. Just like every day she waited and watched while Azula worked, twiddling her thumbs and smiling like a maniac.

It was _strange_. Azula had the right to be suspicious of someone like that. It had been those exact behaviors that made her think that Ty Lee was up to something at first. Even now her mind wrapped and coiled around pointless ideas and still came up blank at the end of the day. Why would Ty Lee put up with her so much? There had to be some reason beyond her fervored giggling praises. People don't just _do _things. There are reasons. There has got to be a reason.

Half-Consciously Azula moved nearer. Ty Lee was settled on a table after all. She would have to clean that table eventually. The sound her feet made on the floor echoed her heartbeat, forever calm, forever saturated.

Still she didn't turn. Ty Lee sat silently like a pretty little doll, eyes all glazed over in perfect resonance, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Azula wondered what she could possibly be thinking about that lay outside that small little window. What strange things went on in the head of someone so different from her?

And she looked so very pretty with a look of absolute concentration on her face. It looked foreign on a bright face so often smiling and laughing. Yet Azula thought it suited her.

She inched closer.

Ty Lee was wearing some of her more common robes that day. Rather plain, more for the sake of being warm than anything. Still they clung to her small frame wonderfully. The lime green garments looked just a trifle too small, or at least washed into shrinking. They clung snuggly around her chest and hips rippling out little creases and raising the hem of her tightly fitted robe ever so slightly to bare the smooth joint of her stocking covered ankle.

Azula had decided long ago that Ty Lee had wonderful legs. Marvelous legs actually. They were so smooth yet taught. So small and strong. Every little joint on those legs was delicious and so achingly smooth. She loved the gentle slope of the small of her calf tapering away into a delicate little ankle. She loved how tightly she'd always kept them perfectly shaven and smooth like silk, so that even when her legs were covered Azula could hear the mellifluous sound of her soft knees running past each other and just the echo of that movement, that touch, would make a spike of electricity run up her spine.

Even just as she was, she was wonderful. Beautiful. Gods, so achingly beautiful. Sometimes she could hardly stand it. It was heartbreaking to look at her. To see those big wet eyes looking back at her, so sweet and gentle, would make her heart ache and swell in her chest until she had to look away.

Even now, Azula couldn't see her face and she was entranced. And it was getting worse and worse by the day. It seemed her resolve was fading her desire to touch, feel, devour was consuming.

She wanted to take those little hands in hers. She wanted to taste the salt of her skin. She wanted to smell her scent, her heavy sweet flowery scent up close. She wanted to dive in it, taste it, and walk away with the faint smell clinging to her skin.

Azula moved in closer, throwing away her rag now, not even withholding the pretense of trying to clean. She moved to sit on the tabletop with her, moved so close that they were almost touching, her arm just close to grazing the back of her robes.

Ty Lee didn't acknowledge her presence at all, she did however lift a finger to the frost covered window pane drawing what looked like little people on it's surface. She moved suddenly to moved her braid to the side, reveal a wonderful view of her neck and the gentle bow into her shoulder. The skin there looked perfectly white and intimate. Soft and untouched. Sensitive.

Azula dared to lean in closer, hover over her covered shoulder, nuzzled into the crook of her neck in all but contact. She could almost taste her as close as she was. Could see the pale baby fine hairs covering the surface of that wonderful neck.

Azula quietly dared to move a restless hand to the small of her companions back.

"Can you tell which one's you?" Ty Lee finally spoke sending Azula jerking backwards. Oh yes. She was capable of talking. Why had she forgotten that?

"Which one what?" Azula stuttered blindly a momentary loss of cool, before straightening her back and trying to look dignified.

Azula could feel Ty Lee's frame shake lightly when she laughed through the hand that had somehow never managed to leave her back. "You're the one with the angry face."

Azula moved her eyes restlessly over to the little window pane that Ty Lee had been drawing on. There was in fact two little people there, crudely drawn, one with a giant grin and the other, well, the other was Azula. They were little more than stick figures, but still she found their positioning a bit "odd". Were they… dancing? Yeah they had to be dancing.

"And what exactly are we doing, Ty Lee?" She asked incredulously.

Ty Lee let out an exasperated sigh, "You don't pay attention to anything!" She laughed and put on a fake angry face. She turned her head to Azula to give her the full effect. "Look again."

Azula just stared. Still looked like… dancing to her.

Ty Lee rolled her eyes cutely and gave her a defeated sigh. She lifted one of her small feminine hands and positioned it rather awkwardly, backwards, on the side of Azula's face. The feel of her hand there made Azula visibly shake but if her companion noticed she didn't let it show.

Ty Lee turned from her slowly to look back at her little drawing on the window, gently leading Azula's head to follow and return to it's place on her shoulder. Her fingers curled gently when they'd reached the right spot but she didn't remove her hand.

"Now look." Ty Lee whispered hoarsely and gave a little circular motion with her fingers.

Azula sighed, "We're in the fountain?" It appeared she had positioned her little stick figures so that they were intermingling in the fountain in front of the tea shop. Well, at least from her point of view.

"Yep. I know it's too cold now. But when it gets warm again that's what were going to do." She smiled and nodded shaking both of their heads with the motion.

"Dance in the fountain?" Azula asked listlessly. She really wasn't listening too much.

"Dance, sing, play Marco Polo. Anything." Ty Lee lowered her voice into a much softer timber, "As long as it's with you, I don't care."

Azula stiffened and backed away from her with a start, breaking all contact completely. She was flushed and she knew it, but tried to keep her dignity regardless. "That's not even sanitary. And what would we be doing in a fountain in the first place? Don't try and drag me along on you're childish gallivants." Her voice was quick and hasty. Only Ty Lee could ever make her loose her cool like this.

Ty Lee turned to her fully all liquid gray eyes. She looked to her hands solemnly. "Yeah, I guess it does sound kind of silly."

"Yes, very." Azula mouthed and mimicked her awkward stare.


	15. The Flaw

**A/N:** Hello all. Third day in row isn't it? I truly am pathetic I swear. I've been trying to break up the, fluff chapters and the more Azula/ character development chapters. This is more of a character development chapter. Heh. I mean the whole point of this fic is Azula finding her "redemption" what ever that means to her. ~Oh yeah did I mention that?

Maybe I'll see you again tomorrow. ;P

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**Chapter 15**

Mai had the cold eyes of a killer. Dead eyes like a fish. They never blinked and they never showed any passing emotion. Azula never knew if she was lying, not in the way she could see every little shimmer of deviousness in Ty Lee, and that didn't sit right with her. It was one of many things that made every little agonizing minute with her pass like walking on hot coals.

Azula had thought she was gone. That she had gotten back on her high horse and took a run back to her place of servants and glorious heat. She accomplished her purpose. Told them about this vague future "wedding". Even though all her words accomplished were making Azula aware that her brother hadn't married Mai already. For some reason she had thought they were some sort of writhing Mr. and Mrs., Lord and Lady of Fire. She couldn't recall any one telling her such a thing but the idea stuck in her head obstinately.

Then why the hell was she still here? Azula knew Mai didn't enjoy the Earth Kingdom, she complained constantly the last time they had headed to Ba Sing Se. Too many colors. She was a creature of darkness.

Hopefully she would leave soon. Azula didn't like all the constant watching she was doing, or this hell bent superior attitude she developed. It was like Mai thought she was better than her. She was saying things she'd never heard from that mouth before.

And Ty Lee didn't notice a thing, of course. Not that she'd had the time to ask her. Ty Lee and Mai had been talking and giggling and whispering like little school girls all day. They just sat in a little corner of the tea shop not order a single damn thing.

Azula watched them like a hawk. She could see their eyes turning her way ever so often, almost as if they were talking about her. They always had such worried faces when doing such. The look signified to Azula that they were making sure that she wasn't listening, that they were saying things she wouldn't like, talking behind her back, calling her dirty names.

She tried to read their lips, especially Mai's. She'd be the one trying to put stupid ideas in Ty Lee's head and turn her against her. Maybe whisk her back to the Fire Nation, and keep her away from the awfulness that was Azula. What did she think they were going to do? How much of the world could be conquered by two small people…?

Azula shook her head. She was driving herself insane. There was no point in making wild assumptions. She would either have to place some trust that Ty Lee would at least defend her from any defamation or find some way to spy. They _were_ by a window…

"Don't worry, Azula, your friends will tire of each other soon." Came Uncle's ever-present voice from behind her.

Azula turned to look at him with a slight annoyance. "Why is she still here? I thought you took her away." Anything for a distraction from Ty Lee and Mai. Looking at them was making her start to feel sick, and anxious.

"Now, now, Azula. You're little friends haven't seen each other in a long time. Why would you want to separate them when they are just getting reacquainted." Iroh scratched at his beard. "Actually, it wouldn't be a bad idea if you got over their too. Miss Mai is your friend as well."

"No she's not." Azula scoffed, "Neither of us have any disillusions about that."

"I remember you saying the exact thing about Miss Ty Lee when she first arrived here and now you girls spend just about every second of the day together." Iroh chuckled lightly, making Azula's eyebrow twitch. She turned away from him to glance back at the table. As if the scene had changed, as if they would mind her absence. Still they chattered on about something.

"Well it hardly seems like it now," She grimaced after hearing how petty the words sounded aloud. They had seemed perfectly rational in her head.

This really seemed to amused Uncle, however. "Azula, is that jealousy I hear in your voice? What a sweet little girl my niece is. Loves her friends so dearly that she wants them all to herself." There was something taunting in his voice that Azula didn't like. Not only that but her uncle called her "sweet". Ty Lee was having way too much of an effect on her. Maybe it would be better to leave her with Mai and purge herself of the whole situation.

Azula bit down on her lip and tried to ignore the tightening in her chest. She didn't really want Ty Lee to leave, but she sure didn't like not knowing what to do all the time. The constant uncertainty one tiny person was causing in her life was making her feel way too vulnerable, naked. She didn't like not knowing what was going to happen. She didn't like that Ty Lee was deciding her fate for her.

Azula sat down at chef's table, to rest her feet, to cradle her head in her hands. She just didn't want to think any more. It used to be she could plan out every thing and make it work just the way she imagined. Life was always so predictable--- no, controllable. Now everything was going every which way and no matter how many plans she made they all seemed to fall flat.

Everything she felt, everything she thought, just everything, raw and pure, everything was in Ty Lee's hands up to her fickle decisiveness. Azula didn't know whether or not she trusted Ty Lee not to break her into a million pieces or to spread her so thin there would hardly be any of _her _left. She didn't know whether or not she liked it.

Azula heard a deep sigh coming from across the table. Uncle had sit with her, looking calm and sage-like. He stroked at his beard softly, a gesture she equated to thinking.

"Azula, if you don't mind, may I tell you something?" He finally spoke after sending her an intense stare. It didn't feel so much as he was looking at her though, her uncle just focused his eyes on hers so deep it seemed like he was looking through her.

"I suppose you'll tell me no matter what I say." She looked at him helplessly and bowed her head, "Go ahead. Try not to bore me too thoroughly."

"You remind me so much of your father-- my brother, even right down to your face. It is strange how much his children resemble him in so many ways. It is only logical though, I suppose, with much time as he's spent with you that you'd be so very like him." He paused to take in a deep breath, to look at Azula again. To scan her face, to look for her father deep within. It almost seemed as though he was waiting for a response, but when he didn't get one he continued. "But you are not him. You are Azula. Now matter how many footsteps of forefathers you've stepped in you will never match those marks."

"Look, Uncle, I don't need to hear the cryptic talk of an old man. I'm not so very lame." Azula shook her head in frustration. "If you have a point, by gods, reach it!"

"Azula, you've caused many people a lot of pain. People will always look upon you and see all the harm you and my brother have caused. You will always be Ozai to some people. But those two girls over there still see you as Azula. They will always see you as Azula." Iroh smiled very softly and reached out to take Azula's hand in his, an act which she reluctantly allowed. "The heart is a very strange thing. It never forgives and it never forgets. This means of course that any pain that you've caused will never completely go away, but in that same vain neither will any love your friends have ever felt for you."

Azula continued to stare at him and he sighed.

"Azula, stop worrying that the world is at your heels. Stop thinking. Your old uncle does it all the time." Iroh laughed with his whole body. "Sometimes, when the world gets very hard, and you can't trust your thoughts to lead you the right way, all you can do is trust your heart. It will always know the right way to go."

Azula yanked her hand away from him, "I haven't got a heart. Ask anyone."

"No, Azula, you have a heart." He looked her over closely, "I had a father once, very much like yours. He made me feel as though such things were a weakness. If I can do anything for you, I'd wish to show that's not true. It takes someone very strong to take trust in your heart. And I know you are strong enough."

Azula stood straight up. She was truly tiring of her dear uncle. Every conversation she's every had with him has always been the same. Any conversation she's had with any man has always been the same. They always convince you to follow their own personal dogma. She didn't want any of it.

Maybe her way of life wasn't perfect. Maybe she was broken at the very core, defective even, but she was still moving. She'd never stopped moving. Uncle, for all his false words and good-nature was forgetting one very important thing. She couldn't… give up.

No. That's not it. That's not! Was it? Was she truly such a creature driven by nothing but pride, that she would cling to her father and every thing he stood for, just so she wouldn't look "wrong".

But she wasn't wrong. She was never wrong. That's just what the world does. Who ever win's the war influences public opinion in the way that they want. She lost. So she's "wrong". Azula had studied such phenomena. She had become a master of it.

She knew the world was made for the strong to succeed and enslave everyone else. She knew she was powerful and special, and just divinely endowed.

She _knew_.

She just knew…


	16. The Waking

**A/N:** Hello all again. I know last chapter I said "tomorrow" and it's been almost two of those, but that time did not go wasted. I did a lot of planning and working things out, so I can stop winging it.

And for your patience I reward you all with… dun dun dun. You guessed it! Fluff~

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**Chapter 16**

"A-zu-la…" Came a soft lilting voice through the darkness, spoken with such infinite care warmth spread throughout her whole being. Each syllable rolled out of the nothingness that was her sleep, around and around, smooth and soft, in way that she found hard to believe such a name could be uttered. It was almost motherly, not as though she'd have experience in such things, with such voices. Her mother didn't speak to her slow and soft. She barely spared her a word at all.

Azula was fully content to just continue laying in bed, let the faint apparition of sound pass her by as if it had been a dream, but the voice took shape. Cool damp fingers threaded through her spindly hair, smoothing it, brushing errant strands from her naked forehead with the barest touch. The sensation sent her eyes open on reflex. No matter what her mind told her, her body was always on guard.

"Good morning, 'Zula." Ty Lee piped happily, her eyes were wide and bright. Ungodly for such an hour, "I didn't want to wake you, but since you're up any way…"

Azula straightened herself up groggily slapping away the well-meaning hand of her offender with a bleak disregard. Her face dropped into a unfriendly glare when she saw the faint bluish hue clinging to the early morning light that peaked into her window. On her first day off in what seemed like a lifetime, instead of getting a much-needed full night of sleep she was awoken at dawn.

Oblivious to her mood, Ty Lee giggled, "You look so cute when you just wake up. I like it." Her voice peaked at shrill points that made Azula want to smack her in the mouth and shiver all at the same time. Instead as a master of reserve she sharpened her eyes to icy slits and hoped she would get the message regardless.

"Well, I bet you're wondering why I'm here, huh?" A smile lit Ty Lee's face as she coyly smoothed her warm winter skirts, chin dropped low, and large dark eyes glittering wetly through her bangs. "You wouldn't believe it Azula. I went to bed last night like any other night. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then when I woke up, walked out the door… Bam! Snow everywhere!"

"And?" Azula hissed through her teeth darkly. Her head began assaulting her with a dull throbbing sensation.

"And… I just wanted to play in the snow with you. That's all." She laughed and started to fiddle with some of the bedding on Azula's bed sheets nervously, "We could write in the snow, build snowmen, make snow angels, or pummel some kids with snowballs. You know, just have fun."

Azula lay back down to stare at the ceiling. One of the biggest problems with Ty Lee was her constant desire to be doing something. She couldn't just sit and think. Azula herself took great pleasure in the comforts of her quick and fair mind, and always viewed people unable to be left alone with their thoughts as idiots. Why deal in a world that had so often mistreated her. No horror of the mind could match the pain and suffering that she had felt living amongst "real" people.

She couldn't blame her dear Ty Lee, however, it wasn't her fault that she was lame, dumb and unimaginative. And she was all those things. Definitely. She would have to be to cloister with a menace like Azula.

Azula licked at her lips dully, she had an intoxicating desire to day something vicious, but fell languid with the effort of such conflict. "I'm too tired, Ty Lee, and I don't like being cold when I can help it." Her mouth tasted of cowardice.

"Oh? Okay then." The wondrous Ty Lee faltered for a moment before regaining her quick healing exterior. "Want to do something inside then? You know I'm a wreck at Pai-Sho but it might be fun to have a go at it any way. I'm sure Uncle has a board around here somewhere."

"Sleep, Ty Lee, sleep. It's barely dawn and you want to fetter around in the snow and play pedestrian war games? What does tired mean to you, dear?" She blistered away, all the while trying to tug a blanket over her head to block out the intrusive sunlight. "And don't call him 'Uncle'. That doesn't even make sense at all."

"Well, I just thought because you do…" Ty Lee trailed off quietly looked slightly offended for a half of a second. The downtrodden look tugged obtrusively on Azula's heartstrings. Azula hadn't half an idea what she had said wrong but nonetheless wanted to smooth it over. There it was again, that "coddling" thing. She suspected that she only felt such things because of Ty Lee's infinite childishness. Ty Lee couldn't mind herself so Azula sought to look after her on an impulse, like the human female that she was somewhere amongst all the learned behaviors.

"Just, go play with Mai. I'm sure she'll just _love _making snowmen." Azula looked to her sleepily, feeling more and more tired by the minute now that the shock of Ty Lee's arrival had worn off and her voice had lowered an octave. Azula's fingers found their way brushing soothingly over one of Ty Lee's angled knees, letting the smooth slick fabric send shivers across her barely covered arm.

"Oh, yeah, Mai says 'Bye,' She left before daybreak" Ty Lee cooed softly taking advantage of the brief crack in Azula's iron-hard exterior to scoop a pale white hand into her own. She moved it around in her own hands, examining the smoothed planes with her eyes first then the points of her fingers tips and the barest hint of nail. "I'm sorry I woke you up. I just missed you is all, and couldn't wait until morning. Sorry."

Ty Lee let her eyes flash towards Azula with a modicum of audacity, her voice silky and pleasant. She was all too aware how Azula would crumble at that voice. Never apologize. No, she wasn't wrong to say a thing that would illicit such a thing. Azula would just be the one to nod her head, whisper a little phrase and make the world alright again like magic. Again and again. Ty Lee gave her that power. And Azula loved power.

"I'll play with you in a bit, Ty Lee." She moved to squeeze Ty Lee's hand affectionately in her own, "Would it be alright if I slept first?"

Ty Lee smiled a huge bright smile. "You're asking me? And not rhetorically? I don't even know what to say. This is scaring me." She craned her neck to get a better view of Azula, "In a very good way."

"Just shut up." Azula spat slightly irritated, and tugged her blanket over her head completely. "I _am_ going to sleep now."

"Alright, Azula." Ty Lee giggled cutely, her strong hands still clasping tightly around Azula's fingers just incase she moved to pull them from her grip. Her thumb moved in a soft little circle around the flesh on the back of her hand for a moment.

Azula faintly wondered if Ty Lee really meant to spend the whole morning there holding onto her hand just that way, while she slept. She couldn't think of any reason why she would, but the idea appealed to her. No one had ever had that much care to be with her when she wasn't doing something to benefit them, when she wasn't manipulating, thinking, or paying salaries. She felt so strange and bubbly and warm there with Ty Lee who she knew would be somewhere else all but for her.

A faint rustling of fabric registered dully in the back of her mind. Ty Lee's gentle but firm grip began to lessen on her fingers just resigning to holding it atop her own open faced palm. So she was leaving after all. It's was only natural but Azula couldn't help but spare it a moment of shameful disappointment.

Instead of moving away completely to waste her life on other things Ty Lee lifted up the corner of Azula's blanket briskly letting in a draft of cool air, leaving her hand resting slack on a thigh. She moved quickly, less chance of rejection that way, virtually diving under the covers with Azula, allowing for that stray hand to settle some where around her waist. In an instant Ty Lee was huddled in close, head tucked shyly under Azula's chin and clung to her in an embrace that was close to being suffocating.

Azula couldn't even think to ask why she'd done it for the longest time. Too many other thoughts pumping through her mind a thousand miles and hour. She even reflexively held the tight embrace back, letting her fingers settle on the point of a small shoulder blade hiding underused muscle.

Azula breathed in her sweet heavy scent with elation. It smelt so much stronger up close, so much more deliriously intimate. She wondered if the smell would cling to her long after Ty Lee left. To her clothes. To her bed…

"Ty Lee?" She croaked, but made absolutely no move to change their positions, "Uncle is working. He has a perfectly good bed you could use if you're tired."

Ty Lee moved her soft head in a nuzzling motion at the bare skin of Azula's neck, making her shuddered visibly. There was no way Ty Lee couldn't have noticed. _No way. _

"I know." She whispered softly, and Azula could feel the vibration of her voice and the warmth of her breath on her own collar bone, "I'd rather be here with you."


	17. The Truth

**A/N:** This chapter is kind of short, but there's a lot in it. I did a lot of research on emotional intimacy issues for this chapter to try to help connect with Azula's struggle to trust any one. Hopefully I did a believable job.

Come on guys! Let's break the 100 review mark this time around. I know we can do it!

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**Chapter 17**

She was so fond of saying sweet little lies. Things that would inflate Azula for half a second before she realized what they really were. Ty Lee would go on and on about how fond she was of Azula and how inspired she was by someone such as her. And it was true that she was an extraordinary human being but at the same time she knew Ty Lee was lying.

Azula didn't know how she knew. She just did. It's a basic characteristic of human nature to lie and try to make others feel good just to benefit your own ends. Azula hardly suspected there was anything at all behind girlish rumors of love and friendship, just little lies to make the machine keep moving, lies keep turning out over and over. It was everyone else who was deluded into thinking such things were true. To fall into such a wonderful sounding lie that someone could actually have a sort of selfless love.

Still when she looked at Ty Lee sleeping like such an innocent unscheming thing, curled up against her squeezing so tight, she didn't _feel_ like it should be such a lie. She wanted to believe that this little human could be everything for her. That Ty Lee could be someone who could understand all her twisted and dark motives without blinking an eye of judgment. She wanted Ty Lee to open her up and see all the horrible twisted things that lay inside her soul and call them beautiful.

But Ty Lee, even if her disillusions of fondness weren't lies, was not seeing Azula as she truly was. Her friendship and anything beyond was like every thing else in life, conditional. No one really cared for anyone else, they only care about what another person can do for them. If saddening the person you claim to love more than anyone in the world becomes abusive or alcoholic it is not only common but _encouraged _to drop them dead. Did they stop becoming a living breathing person? Did the stop being someone they loved?

Society baffled Azula and she wanted no part of it. Sometimes you have to give things up in the name of being strong.

Ty Lee shifted unconsciously beside her, snuggling in like a baby animal.

She had fallen asleep within moments of laying down and had been sleeping comfortably sense. Azula on the other hand found herself unable to go back to sleep no matter how tired she was. It had been hard enough to get used to her uncle sleeping in the same room with her, she couldn't just fall asleep with Ty Lee holding her in a vice grip. Such things required a certain amount of trust that she didn't possess. An amount of trust she was incapable of grasping.

Maybe she was a wounded human being, eternally forced to relive old scars of a father that expected her to be everything and thought she was defective when she wasn't absolutely perfect. Scars of a mother who wasn't quite secretive enough about her perceived fissures in her daughter's exterior when she was only doing as her father always told her to. Maybe she just lacked something, some vague indescribable thing, that made people know how to behave, which paths to take, which lives to lead.

Maybe.

How she wished someone would just tell her the answer, and she could be done with all this wondering.

Azula moved her fingers absently over the fabric covering Ty Lee's sunken back, touching the only person who even wanted to pretend with her. She stuck her hands into a stroking motion, petting her, so the feel of movement wouldn't cease. So Azula would just know she was always there, holding her even in her sleep. If she were asleep would she cling back?

If she was so cracked, defective, and broken to the very core, what was wrong with Ty Lee. No one else wanted Azula. Why on earth would Ty Lee, someone so happy and flitty and _liked_, want to waste her time away brooding with Azula. They were so different, so opposite. It just didn't make sense. Azula didn't like things that didn't make sense.

Struck by a momentary fancy Azula wrapped her fingers around Ty Lee's braid and tugged hard, replacing the spot where her head had lay on a naked collar bone with cool air.

"Ow!" Ty Lee swatted at her hand sluggishly, until successfully dislodging it from her hair, "Not so rough 'Zula. I'm delicate."

"Ty, what the hell is so wrong with me?" Azula whispered so quiet she doubted she could even be heard. There was a long pause and Azula was more than ready to drop the subject and send her prisoner back to an easy sleep.

Ty Lee sighed finally, "There's nothing wrong with you. You're perfect and pretty and sweet." She snuggled back into Azula's chest thinking that she had stopped the conversation in it's tracks.

"You've got to be the biggest liar Ty Lee." Azula clenched her fist roughly over the fabric on the back of Ty Lee's dress. "I want you to tell me all the things that you hate about me. Honestly."

"Okay." She muttered, her breath still tickling the bared skin on Azula's collar, "You're aggressive, selfish, bigoted, mean, apathetic, cruel, manipulative, emotionally distant, not to mention a terribly excellent liar."

Ty Lee's little practices fingers clutched at the front of Azula's robe possessively, holding them together incase Azula tried to depart, connecting them after her hard words.

Ty Lee took a deep breath and continued much softer than before, "But there's just something in the way you talk, in your half-smile, in how childish you can be sometimes that makes me want to hold you. And you always apologize to me, in the sweetest voice, when you say something wrong. And you have a heart-- a big beautiful heart," She laughed sweetly to herself, "That isn't attached to any of the heartless things you've done. That's still as sweet and innocent as the day you were born. Because you're so careful not to let anyone touch it."

Azula tensed for a moment, instinctually she wanted to tear herself away. Just run. To another room, to another place where she could be all alone and try to block out those words, order them until they made some sense. Make up an explanation.

But she didn't-- couldn't. Her fingers were stuck, unoiled hinges, to Ty Lee's softly rising back. It's only natural to want to believe it that sweet words are the truth. It's so much easier. And much more dangerous.

"You're a liar." Azula uttered in too shaky a voice to control, "A terrible, terrible liar."

Ty Lee broke their contact instantly to hoist herself up on an elbow. Azula still didn't make a move to take away her hands from Ty Lee's back, their connecting line. Her pretty gray eyes looked tired and compassionate, like Azula always thought a mothers should.

"Look at me." She whispered, letting the warmth of her breath spread over the bottom of Azula's face like a blanket. "Tell me if I'm lying to you."

Ty Lee leaned up intimately letting the tips of their noses come close to touching, allowing heaving drowsy breaths to etch over each others faces like roaming fingers. Ty Lee's high shapely eyebrows were arched in a deep concerned look, her eyes so wet and dark Azula could see herself staring back in their surface. She was surprised to see their faces looked so very similar. She was surprised to see they exchanged the same look of innocent sweet caring.

On impulse Azula jerked away. She sat straight bold up and crawled over to the corner of the room, her legs to weak to support her, her face aflame. Then her mind stopped, it did the impossible thing and froze. Her body rotated on an axis. She turned to Ty Lee to see her looking back with disappointed sad eyes that she'd seen so many times on that face before.

So often when she looked at that face she felt compelled to do things she would never dream of doing. She would degrade herself and blush like a fool. She would dissect every word and criticize her actions, call her self a moron, call her self socially-impaired. Azula felt so uncomfortable with every little thing Ty Lee "made" her say.

So maybe she'd have to choose her words a little more carefully this time and make sure she said exactly what she wanted to.

"Ty Lee," Azula lifted a hand shyly to cover the grin forming on her lips, "You're the one with the big heart. Stupidly big, relentlessly big…"She paused for a long moment to finally allow herself to breath. "Thank you, for finding room for me in it."


	18. The Snowballers

**A/N:** Hey y'all. Took me what five days for this one? I meant to update sooner but I haven't been in the "mood" to sit down and write lately. To busy sleeping too.

Thanks for all the reviews people! I should ask for them more often. ;P

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**Chapter 18**

Sometimes Azula didn't like to think. Sure she was great and brilliant mind but there were so many words she just never wanted to hear. Words that proved her wrong, words that made her feel bad. When she was younger she would hate her thoughts all the time. The world of the living was not a happy place compared to all the worlds in the books she'd read, in the stories she'd been told. Instead of facing the inevitable, instead of making progress in her life working out issues and problems through any sort of logical thought process, she'd train.

Maybe it was her social awkwardness, her inability to connect on any level that actually mattered that made her as strong as she was. Azula remembered spending day after day working a fire bending stance, working through a sequence of movements until it was more than perfect. She would work long after her limbs started aching and her instructor's warned her that she'd get too exhausted or dehydrated. If she had her fire bending, if she was the best, then there would be something no one could ever take away from her. She would always be special. She would always have a reason to exist.

Old habits die hard.

Azula's heavily gloved fingers clutched a little too tightly at the packed snowball in her hand. The heat from her fingers was melting it a little, turning the little thing into a hard lump of slick ice. This would hurt someone.

Her narrowed eyes ran over the snowy white landscape before her. There wasn't a soul in sight, they were hiding like little children, but Azula's could hear an incessant giggling, and high pitched whispering.

They were trying to wait her out. Stupid. Apparently they didn't like being pummeled with balls of ice. She was insulted that someone who would challenge her would have so little foresight as to think they could hide behind a wall of snow forever.

Azula turned hastily to Ty Lee, "Alright, Ty, we're going to have to infiltrate their base." She whispered urgently and began to gather more snowballs from the pile Ty Lee had been making, "When I give you the signal, approach from the left, in a zigzag formation starting on the zag. Don't worry about concealing you're movements, and try to stay parallel with me. We're going to trap them in their own battlements. Got it?"

"Whatever," Ty Lee sighed with an amused grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"After they realize what's going on I'm expecting a retreat. If any one moves towards our fortress block their path physically. If they move any other direction make sure to at least hit their backs once to mark them as the cowards they are." Azula paused to scan the environment carefully with practiced eyes. "When they've dispersed, we destroy any stock piles they may have accumulated-- I'm not sure we can trust their skills in making weaponry-- and raze their walls. I don't want them trying to return to their base later. Understood?"

"Yes, Azula." She droned, knowing much better than to question her motives at this point.

"Get in position." Azula hissed, settling on her haunches at the edge of their own laboriously constructed fortress. She glanced over to check Ty Lee's position and maneuver her until satisfactory, "On three," She checked for the thousandth time for a sign of assent, "One… Two… _Three!_"

With practiced synchronicity they started off at exactly the same time, and worked a perfectly in tune rate of movement. Always parallel, they even hit their extrema within moments of each other. Not that any of their irregular movements were all that necessary.

They reached the edge of their enemy's poorly constructed encampment in perfect time with each other, managing to get off quite a few hard hits before the children scattered, mostly back towards their homes in the apartment building or off into the barren streets. Without discussion each of the girls took the cluster closest to her. Ty Lee the streets, and Azula the building, managing to mark all but a few with a white badge of courage.

They regrouped at the abandoned enemy camp.

"Was that really necessary, 'Zula?" Ty Lee wiped quietly at her brow and sat down against the children's wall, glancing over the little scattered foot prints in the snow and the faces of happy smiling people in crude drawings amongst them.

Azula sat down beside her but not before scouting their surroundings to make sure none of the children remained, "We won didn't we? The point of this game is to _win._"

"Well I was more thinking the point is to have fun." Ty Lee made a happy face and threw her hands in the air, "I'm thinking the kids getting hit with those balls of ice and _crying _weren't having much fun."

"They should have thought about that before they challenged me." Azula replied obstinately and began crushing the loosely packed snowballs with her fingers. Resting after a round was really futile. They should be destroying things right about now.

Suddenly Ty Lee gasped, hiding her mouth under her hand. "Azula! Look." She pointed a finger at Azula's arm, "You took at hit."

"What?" Azula looked to see the circle of snow on her arm, "I did not. That must've come from something else." She brushed at it trying to remove any evidence. Azula knew she would have remembered one of those little snots getting close enough to nail her.

Ty Lee began laughing furiously, hiding her face in her hands and whispering that she "just couldn't stop." This only served to infuriate Azula further. What was so funny? Even if she had gotten hit, why would that be any thing to laugh about. In real battle conditions she would have to lose an arm.

Definitely not funny.

Azula lifted up a handful of loose powdery white snow in her mittened fingers and looked at it carefully for a moment.

"Really, Ty Lee, What's so _hilarious_?" She muttered with a little bit of venom and a sly smile on her face. "Even if I actually did take a hit--" another cackle of uncontrollable laughter from Ty Lee, "It's not as bad as yours."

When Ty Lee removed her head from the cradle of her hands for a moment to look at Azula's with big confused doe eyes, Azula took the opening to smash the handful of snow in her face.

"Bam." Azula flicked her fingers out. "Kill shot."

"Real mature, Azula." Ty Lee gasped and began wiping at her face with her sleeves, "That's so cold!"

Still Ty Lee smiled a sweet warm smile back at Azula that confounded her, made her hesitate for the slightest of moments. There were little droplets of water, melted snow, clinging to her hair, her eyebrows, the points of deep dark eyelashes, and all over her skin making it shimmer in the late after noon light.

"Is it really so cold?" Azula asked smoothly, not really waiting for an answer before she removed her woolen mittens and began to wipe at Ty Lee's damp face with her warm fingers. More than anything she had a sudden strong desire to touch her, so strong it made her heart ache.

"No," Ty Lee mumbled, looking downward towards her hands shyly. The look put a smile on Azula's face. She was astounded by how quickly she could bring someone from laughing uncontrollably to sitting in complete silence. Astounded and drunk with power.

"Thank you for today." Azula let her voice slip out smooth and suave, her fingers still settled softly at Ty Lee's jaw long after any remnant of water had gone. The warmth shared between where their skin touched contrasted blissfully with the environment around them.

Ty Lee's dark eyes flickered upwards. "What do you have to thank me for? I thought…" She dared to move a small bit closer, letting whatever words she was going to say die off her lips.

Azula sighed, there were no thoughts in her head. It was both terrifying and a relief to let her mouth speak on it's own. She bit at her lips shyly, inching closer to Ty Lee with every second, until they were breathing in each others drowsy breath, reddened noses close to touching.

"For just… Oh, I don't know." They were too close now for her to focus. Had she intending to say something? She couldn't remember. Her head was swimming. "For, just… knowing what I want better than I do."

Ty Lee sighed drowsily, letting her eyes come to a close, "I don't know what you want. Trust me. I think about it all the time and I still don't know." Her words whispered out slow and quiet, etching over Azula's lips, lips that were so close to touching hers. "Tell me what you want. Anything, and I'll do it."

Azula's breath was starting to get shaky, her eyelids heavy. She was feeling too warm. She only vaguely acknowledged how that shouldn't be, with snow on the ground. Thoughts passed by distantly, she couldn't focus, only breath.

Their lips were so close they were almost slightly brushing. Their open and heaving lips. Azula wanted so desperately to lean in and take them for herself, taste those pretty pink lips for the first time, to rack her teeth over the soft skin and see if she shuddered. That's what she wanted. That's all she wanted.

Before she could even think her eyes were coming to a close. They seemed far too heavy now to hold up and it didn't seem worth the effort. All the world became was a heady intake of Ty Lee's sweet breath, and the almost brushing to smooth sensitive skin. Why was every thing moving so slow?

She was so close to leaning in, to tasting those absolutely perfect lips she had admired so many times before when she felt a sudden sting to the side of her face and jerked away with the sudden impact.

Azula opened her eyes in a drunk daze, to lift a bared hand to her cheek to feel the wet snow that was there. It took her a long moment to realize what had happened. She looked to Ty Lee's surprised and flushed face for a moment, just trying to think, when she registered the sound of shrill giggling.

Azula's head whipped around angrily on impulse to get a full few of those snot nosed kids standing not three feet away from them looking smug as hell and wielding handfuls of snowballs. One of the little kids was making kissing noises.

Idiot children, pissing her off when she was sitting right next to a giant pile of snow balls. Not the smartest thing to do.

Just another moment when Azula was glad she didn't have any thoughts in her head. Other wise she may have had to address that painful stinging in her chest as she stomped away from Ty Lee to destroy the enemy.


	19. The Wall

**A/N**: Haha! Gypped you guys last chapter. I didn't do it to torture the readers, I did it to torture Azula. Either way I'm acting out of love. Well hopefully this will make up for it. Kinda short though.

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**Chapter 19**

Azula was anxious.

She had always found herself to be a cool and composed person, capable of withstanding even the strongest pressure, yet somehow whenever she was with Ty Lee this cool and composed exterior flew out the window. She'd sweat bullets, say dumb things, and _do _dumb things. Things that weren't her. Things that were embarrassing. And worst of all, masochistically, Azula couldn't get enough of her presence.

Lately, however, things had been getting worse. Much, much worse. Azula hardly had control of her actions any more. She was just a puppet, a pawn, to her darling Ty Lee's wishes and whims of snowball fights and sleeping in under warm winter skies. It felt degrading and humiliating and she was ashamed but at the same time wanting the glorious feeling of just knowing that the world around her would be fine. Knowing that if she trusted Ty Lee's small powerful hands implicitly with every little piece of her being and whatever remnant of a soul she may possess, she could have everything she wanted. Trade her soul for a taste of heavenly flesh.

And how she wanted to place her fingers on that smooth supple skin, to feel it yield under her wiry fingers like only a woman's can. Such a thing seemed as though it might be worth the hells themselves. And that's what she wanted wasn't it? Sheer carnal things like she'd never experienced before. To see her Ty Lee's pretty gray eyes clouded with pleasure, back arching until the blue veins showed, and her obscenely pale pink lips _moaning _her name in worship over and over again.

What then was the problem really? She could have had Ty Lee spread eagle, on her back, in a moment if she'd tried. Ty Lee wouldn't resist her, of that she had no doubt. She was such a loyal follower. So giving. So understanding…

Azula pulled her knees up to her chest quietly and held tight to them. She huddled further into the wall her uncle's bed was propped against and settled her eyes on the slowly moving shadows as they inched, deliciously orange, across the flooring of their apartment.

In the other room there was the sound of a water faucet being turned off. Ty Lee had wanted a bath to warm her bones after spending so long in the cold. This left Azula all alone, left her waiting, nothing to do but think, and listen to the sounds of another life cohabitating with her. The sounds of clothes being brushed aside, of smoothed fingers running over a long expanse of abdomen. Azula half suspected Ty Lee knew she could hear her. That she was taunting her.

Girls and their coy little games. Sometimes Azula thought they were hardly worth the effort. Of course she didn't count herself in her musings, she didn't consider her behaviors to be confined into gender constrictions. Yet she was just as evasive. Just as shamefully bashful. And even worse, girlish.

The apartment was so quiet, Azula could hear every sound Ty Lee was making. She could almost feel every movement in her bones. The sound of water moving, the very slight resonance of hands running across skin, hair being rung out, dripping.

All that separated them was a solitary little wall. All that separated Azula in all her frustration, over analyzing and lamenting was a single wooden wall, thinner than the width of her smallest finger. On the other side of that wall Ty Lee was sitting in a similar silence more than likely. She would be bare and shinning under the dim lantern light. Looking warm. Looking heavenly.

Azula wondered if Ty Lee was thinking about her. She wondered if Ty Lee was anxious too.

In the maddening quiet Azula ran her raw and reddened fingers over her uncle's fine silk sheets, just for the feel. Her fingers were getting shaky, her heart beating so fast it was choking her. There was a terrible feeling in her gut, like dread, but almost sweet at its tearing points.

She was so sick and tired of this feeling. It followed her everywhere. It made sleep impossible. It made ordinary life painful.

Azula wanted like a child, and didn't even have the slightest clue what it was that she was desiring. This was no lust. It was deeper, less fleeting, and a thousand times more painful. She was just so confused and tired and aching for something-- anything.

She wanted to yell and scream and beat her fists on the wall. She wanted to beat down that door, the little portal keeping the two girls apart from each other, and spill all her thoughts. Ty Lee would know what to do. She always knew what to do about such matters, when Azula didn't know the way.

And she didn't. Azula was absolutely lost. Nobody had been like Ty Lee was. No one had cared so stupidly, so _unconditionally _for her before, and it was puzzling and intoxicating and divine.

She wanted and wanted and wanted…. That's the only word that really fit. Desire and yearning had too soft an edge. This "want" tore at her insides and made her want to vomit, while at the same time making her feel warm and just… loved.

Azula jumped as the door creaked open on unoiled hinges. How had Ty Lee snuck up on her when she had been listening to her every little movement so intently? Azula should have known she was coming.

One foot appeared first, a delicate pointed toe coming off the gentle arch of a small feminine foot. Toe first, then heel like a ballet dancer in all her graceful long movements. A fitting support for marvelous long legs, taught from endless years of abusive use.

She was still wet from the bath, had little droplets of water clinging to her chin like icicles. Her hair was dark erratically curled, and tucked sweetly behind one ear blushing pink from the heat of the water. The robe she wore clung to her, drinking the water from her skin.

Ty Lee looked marvelous, body and all, but what really stuck Azula were her eyes. She wanted to waste her gaze away of the thin wet fabric hugging the solemn curve of her waist, but she was drawn aback by a terrific gaze. The look in her eyes was dark, lustful, _entrancing_. Ty Lee's large eyes met Azula with a morbid intensity, as if she'd been reading every thought right from her head while she bathed. Her mouth mimicked her daring eyes, setting itself a dark aroused pink, parting slightly, and glimmering with the faintest hint of wetness.

Azula couldn't speak. There were no words. She would have been fully content if she'd just been permitted to stare at the creature in front of her endlessly with those beautiful gray eyes. But time moved.

Same long deliberate footsteps. Toe rocking back to a gentle heel. She strutted closer, legs held so tight together her knees brushed. Didn't blink once. Not once.

She settled on the bed with Azula, little more than a foot away, with her damp head arching forever closer. Little drops of water fell from her clean hair and spattered soberingly on the fabric covering Azula's calves, then thighs, then breast. Azula mused drunkenly that she smelled different, like one of her uncle's many obscure soaps, not her usual smell of cut saturated flowers. This smell was clean and springy. Like rain.

Their lips were close again, tantalizingly close, but Azula daren't be the one to close that gap, to blur that line forever into obscurity. A small shaking hand found it's way to the side of Azula's face and she was surprised to find that it wasn't her for once that was cracking under the intense pressure.

Ty Lee's bold eyes grew soft and nervous. Her large dilated pupils made her look scared. She made a halting movement towards Azula then away, asking for permission. Preparing herself for rejection.

Azula didn't move. Couldn't. She was too drunk on Ty Lee's warmth, and the heavy scent of her soap. Her limbs felt heavy, her mind felt dumb, and time was no friend of hers stretching forever and ever onward.

Then they touched, just barely at first, a testing brush of the lips that sent vibrations through Azula's skull. She exhaled for the first time in what seemed like forever in response, breath holding a telling shake. Her eyes held a calm stare with Ty Lee's, trying to send her a silent message to not shy away. And she didn't.

Ty Lee leaned in yet again letting their lips achieve full aching contact for the first time. Just enough pressure to be tantalizing. A smooth chaste kiss, yet Azula's chest was heaving. She felt her heavy eyelids come to a close, making it so all that existed in the world for a moment was Ty Lee.

All too quickly she pulled away, sucking all the air from Azula's lungs with her sordid and beautiful mouth. Ty Lee didn't even make a move to hide the trembling in her breath.

She felt it too then.

"F-for before," Ty Lee whispered distantly. She leaned in weakly to let her forehead rest on Azula's. "We were interrupted…"

"I'm glad." Azula heard her voice mutter, and laughed wetly. She finally allowed her eyes to open to meet the gentle ones looking at her with a painful look of caring. "This is better."


	20. The Tea Shop

**A/N**: Hello all. I felt like being a little bit evil and drawing out that break between chapters. Also crunch week before break. Ick. But now I've got two weeks of vacation and I expect plenty of boredom, which means plenty of writing.

Official flame count for this fic is now _**2**_! Both were even slightly homophobic. Keep 'em coming assholes.

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**Chapter 20**

Azula felt strange when she woke up that morning. Was she insane? She felt insane. She felt ridiculous and naked and hallucinatory. Some part deep dark and buried within her wanted to stand up and scream, wanted to run until she couldn't breath any more. She was so anxious and scared and confused.

This wasn't who she was. She was always so careful not to feel things like this. She made sure everything went according to plan. It was stupid Ty Lee who tore every little piece of everything to shreds just by looking at it. How could she care so deeply for someone so opposite from her. Some who looked at the line dividing them and thought it was better crossed.

Azula was pure and utter restraint. Ty Lee was drunken chaos. Were they blending with each other from all the close quarters and sugar sweet words? Or was it just entropy, things when left alone going towards their tendencies to be more and more random by the day? Either way to be feeling this, to be feeling at all, meant she was slipping.

Everywhere she looked everything was contradictory and nothing made sense. All things in life could be explained, could be put in rational order. She knew that. Then why couldn't she make the slightest bit of sense out of this. It should have been so simple.

She'd always thought that when people talked about loves and passions that they were just being pompous gits. Her father had even told her that such things didn't exist. So she took it as law. Her body was an instrument of her lord and father. It didn't _feel _anything unless he demanded it of her.

But there was no denying this. She was up and down infatuated, lustful, and sick to her stomach. Azula felt this. What to do about it was another issue.

Old conclusions were dying. She wanted to cast Ty Lee away and go into this new life logically, without the sky falling down on her, without constants doubts. Everything was shaky enough as it was. She wanted things to go back to the way they were. And maybe back then they could have.

Maybe if she tried hard enough Azula could have been sitting on that glorious throne again, this time not answering to her father. She was smart and talented, more so than anyone in the world, more so than even him. She could have changed the world so easily.

It didn't seem like such a bright future any more.

But Azula's bitterness made her selfish. Sure she could have brought so much _meaning _into the lives of all the people of the world. She could have made them efficient and believe all the right things. As a humanitarian she wanted to do that. She wasn't, however, much of a humanitarian any longer.

Screw humanity. Screw righteousness! She'd done so much already to pin her conscience with something golden. Azula wanted to do something for herself. She wanted to be childish and selfish and without poise. She wanted chaos and insanity and fiery hot passion 'til she exploded. Let all the hungry and dying burn for their sins, Azula wanted her reward for being prudent. She actually deserved the fleeting thing dubbed happiness. Perhaps her uncle had not been so foolish after all when he had said that a heart would always know the right way to go and Azula's heart was screeching for Ty Lee so loud her fingers shook.

The conclusion came so much easier than she thought it would. She'd see what Ty Lee could do for her. She'd test the waters. If she didn't like it the only one getting hurt would be Ty Lee, and she needn't worry about that.

Azula dressed in a hurry. Her footsteps were much quicker than usual, they even slid inelegantly across the masonry as she hurried to and fro. For the first time since she'd been in Ba Sing Se she tied her hair back in it's usual topknot only to be surprised at how different her face looked staring back at her. She hardly felt like herself with nothing to hide behind.

She was at The Jasmine Dragon far before opening as usual. Uncle had already arrived and was sitting peacefully drinking tea. It seemed so routine and ordinary. How many months had she been there looking at the same ever passing scene?

Everything looked the slightest bit different somehow, like her eyes were open a little bit wider. She noticed the crackling of her fellow employee's early morning cloves, and little howl of wind at the kitchenette window. She even noticed the little decorations set about. Had there always been lanterns on all the tables? Why were their strands of pearly white prayer beads near all the windows and doors?

She went at her work with gusto. Movement was a good cure to all ails. Sure she was no good a making tea but she could sure administer it quickly, she could carry a whole lot of trays, and she could give orders like a drill sergeant. Every once and a while she'd check to see if Ty Lee was at the door. Azula was waiting on the tips of her toes. All she wanted was to see her. Get this rocket off the ground and meander her way into hell.

Azula was shaky and cloistered. Her thoughts were running through her head a mile a minute. At many points she was doubting her true endowed sanity. She felt so back wards and confused. Just see her. Just see her. Just see Ty Lee and realize how mortal she truly was.

It was nearly nine, Azula was scrubbing the pass station with a ferocity that made all of her coworkers keep their distance. When the door creaked open that final time she hadn't even been looking, just moving because she couldn't stand to be still. There was no ceremony or resounding bells or orchestral music echoing through the building. Ty Lee tittered toward her in silence on the balls of her feet.

"You're awake this morning." She muttered tiredly with a little bit of a grin in her voice. Azula jerked her arm and jumped back nearly smacking Ty Lee in the face.

"Oh, I'm… yes." Azula wiped her sweaty bangs away from her forehead to clear up her eyes. She straightened her back and gave a deep bow. "Good morrow to you and your fleshy appendages."

Ty Lee looked similar to how she'd always looked. No special clothing or spit black. She didn't bother the immaculate preparation Azula had. She looked marvelous as usual but Azula couldn't help the thought that their kiss hadn't driven Ty Lee around in circles the way it had her.

She was a little disappointed. Was there something she should of done? That lip puckering motion that plump old ladies kiss their grandchildren with, was that a must? Was it so horrid to kiss her? Neither of them had spoken a word afterward. Was that bad? Was Ty Lee disappointed? Was she disgusted? Was it truly just a friendly thing?

Was she plotting something…?

"Good _morrow_ to your… appendages too?" Ty Lee giggled in the endearing way she had habit to, a slicing smile lit up her face. "Did you sleep okay, Azula? Your eyes are awfully wide."

Azula laughed loudly, the sound cutting through the almost silent tea shop and turning a few heads. "Oh just perfection! There were no bugs in my beddings-- or however that adage goes." She clasped her hands in a fashion she'd seen court ladies used when they were trying to speak genially with her. "And are you well, Ty Lee, my dear? You look just absolutely ripping this cock-crow."

"I have no idea what that means." Ty Lee sighed and hopped up onto the counter facing out towards the scarcely populated tea shop.

Azula had been trying to be pleasant, accommodating, she'd be dammed if Ty Lee wouldn't appreciate the effort. With a strong determination Azula rose on toe and strode quickly over to the canisters of tea.

"You know you don't have to do this." Ty Lee whispered softly.

"Do what, dear?" Azula didn't bother to turn around. She was to busy lighting a burner, picking through teas.

Why could she never remember the tea Ty Lee liked? Was it mint? Lavender? It came up enough, and still she never remembered. Azula really had no business working in a tea house if she couldn't remember even her most frequent customers order. She was so good at remembering things too.

Damn, this was going to bug her.

"Be weird-- _nice_. I like you how are." Ty Lee laughed mockingly, "All bitchy and neurotic and everything."

"Hmm?" Azula turned quickly, and moved a shooing hand to usher Ty Lee off the counter. "I don't mean to behave oddly. Am I? Then again, who knows? I'm having a bit of trouble analyzing my actions at the moment. Or thinking in-- dammit! What tea do you like? I can't remember and it's driving me up the wall. Figuratively of course, I haven't quite achieved full revolution, leaving a wall to tell the tale-- which they just well might in Ba Sing Se, you never know, dear, with all the hoodlums wandering about on silent feet."

A cute smile lit Ty Lee's face up slowly, starting at the corner's of her dark eyes and bleeding into her pretty mouth. She laughed a little haltingly, trying to hide the sound unsuccessfully behind her teeth, then bowed her head in another failed bashful attempt at looking stoic.

Ty Lee reached up on of her small covered hands to grasp a hold on Azula's chin, sending her aching desire to move and speak dull. "Are you nervous?" She whispered in a husky manner leaving a little playful amusement in her voice, and began to rub her thumb wonderfully over Azula's clenched jaw.

"No." Azula spat, but couldn't help a little shudder from moving her. "I _don't_ get nervous."

Ty Lee held a deep stare on Azula much longer than casually appropriate, a genial hilarity still there but something softer as well. Azula wanted to look away from those deep dark wonderful eyes but she was drawn in, pulled thin and soft just for a look at such a sweet and caring glance.

The contact broke suddenly, breaking Azula from it as well, as Ty Lee glanced down shyly to her finger tips letting her long bangs fall into her eyes. Her teeth grazed her reticent smiling lips.

"Rosemary." Ty Lee whispered, only soliciting a questioning look that made her giggle. "I like rosemary tea, your uncle likes jasmine, and you'd rather do without. Uncle thinks you look like a gingko type of girl, though."

"Oh, well… That's not so hard is it?" Azula smiled politely and turned away, brushing off Ty Lee's hand in the process. "I don't know why I keep forgetting. And it's _Iroh_, not 'Uncle'."

"Yeah, yeah. Get on that tea, would you?" Ty Lee laughed sweetly and climbed her way over the counter to sit down at the small chef's table, something she knew Azula discouraged but she did often enough anyway.

Azula let herself focus on shifting through the ever changing canisters. She was beginning to doubt her previous resolutions. It was far to much effort to be pleasant all the time, especially when others were so annoying.

She lit up her burning with practiced ease. The bright blue flame soothed her until it wavered back to it's blazing red normalcy. The sight of a fire had always been one welcome to her. It made her feel safe, special, and powerful.

Azula allowed one of her fingers to bend a little into her hand for half a second before blowing it out.

Ty Lee was moving again behind her. All picture perfect smooth legs held so tight together they brushed at the knees, a welcomed consequence of her tight traditional robes. Azula sent her eyes to a close to hear the slinking movement behind her, trying to feel it as Ty Lee moved ever closer by the second.

"Do that again." Ty Lee demanded softly, as her feet settled next to Azula. Somehow Azula had been expecting her to reach out and touch her. She'd been wanting it. It was somewhat disappointing for her just to stand there and simply exert her quiet presence.

Azula put her hand to the flame again almost instinctively. She lifted a much larger amount of fire into her hand without thinking. The color shifted from a dull yellowish red to her own shade of perfect hot blue.

They gazed quickly at each other for half a moment before Ty Lee reached out her small tanned hands to cup around Azula's, and the delicate wavering flame within them.

"That's so amazing." She whispered. "I've always thought that, you know? To be able to exert your will over something so careless and random as fire, that takes enormous control. Enormous power." Ty Lee flicked her eyes upward to glance at Azula with a smile. "But that's what you do with everything isn't it? Make the world bend at it's knees? Maybe this, right here, is why."

Azula looked down at the flame. She felt full of warmth, prickling at her arms and legs and lungs. It wasn't a warmth from any flame, it wasn't hot or anything, just comfortable, like walking into a warm room after being so, so cold. The feeling seeped into her bones and made her scalp tingle and pull back. The scary thing was that it wasn't all that unwelcome.

It was strange how she had imagined the day to go by business-like. She would just tell Ty Lee that she was _physically_ enthralled with her and demand that she submit to see what would happen, to see if she even liked it. Nothing ever went quite according to plan when it came to Ty Lee. Azula was beginning why she bothered thinking things over at all when everything always managed to come to its own independent conclusions.

She looked to Ty Lee, seeing the slight glaring blue light lighting her face from underneath fulsomely. The little fire quivered in her hand.

Azula sighed and pulled away from her, taking the porcelain kettle off and got to work preparing Ty Lee's cup of tea. She diced the little pieces of rosemary and crushed them into a small ceramic cup with her thumb. The smell they emanated was sweet and pine-like. It filled her lungs coolly like a mint.

"Why is it then," Azula mouthed softly, then glanced over at Ty Lee who looked back with her darling familiar eyes. "That you can make me feel so powerless?"

Ty Lee mouthed her name in a silent question. Azula herself even thought it was strange for her to say such a thing. But it was true wasn't it? All of this confusion, changing her mind every other second, living this depraved life. It all sprang from that one small girl, sparing her a kind look and a friendly word.

The only look she received now from her Ty Lee was shy and bewildered. No answer there. It's not like she was really expecting one really. Azula suspected it was just one of those things you just can't explain, and for once, that was okay with her.

She served Ty Lee her tea and went back to work, her early gusto replaced by a odd complacency and warmth. And every time she turned around to spare Ty Lee a glance, she found deep warm eyes gazing back at her.


	21. The Solstice Part 1

**A/N: **Okay this chapter is painfully short, but I got through everything I wanted to surprisingly quickly. Probably because there is no dialogue. Rawr, rawr, rawr.

I think I pass the 40,000 word mark with this chapter! Yay! With as slow as this is going I might not even be half way done yet, though. :(

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**Chapter 21**

She moved so agonizingly slow, with such an enormous amount of practiced agile precision. Her perfect rounded hips seemed to have a disconnect with the rest of her body, when she moved left they moved right, pulling her expensive fabrics tighter and tighter then loose again. Gentle ankles bared, then covered, a teasing sight to anyone who might be looking, prying, miming her every movement with silent reverence. Lips, legs, fingers, the curve of a just slightly bared neck were covered in a sheen of delicious glistening sweat that clung to her as little beadlets dripped just so perfectly slow.

Azula imagined her own callused misused fingers moving along those smooth arcs, the slope of a neck, the round of a trembling kneecap, clinging tighter than tight until their was nothing between them but flesh and blood, salt and sweat. More than anything that was what she craved for, yearned for, ached for, but she stayed rooted still, her eyes a slave to the sight before her. Stuck on the back and forth motions of her dear friend.

Her mouth was dry, her breath was moving slowly and loud through her damp lips, like a rhythm, like her own dear Ty Lee's rhythm. In when she arched just slightly to the right. Out when the left. Over and over again. Even then she was stuck to Azula like sticky wet glue. And she knew that she liked it. There was no point denying it now.

A part of Azula's mind told her that her Ty Lee shouldn't behave like this. Not in front of people. Not in front strangers. Dancing was not something civilized people did. It was like sex on hardwood-- not the sort of thing you do in public and certainly not amongst people you hardly knew. Still she couldn't make a move to stop her endless writhing and moving. Ty Lee was just so good at it. Azula was just so entranced.

Their eyes never met, not once, but there was a sort of stringy humid tension between the two of them that made Azula shiver down to her bones. Too many almost looks, too many perfect angles just for her. She wanted to believe all of Ty Lee's boisterous movements were for her alone, a more socially acceptable way to call out an erotic attraction. Shy like a woman's ways, when they couldn't acknowledge it out right. Mentally, however, she knew she was just driving herself around in circles. Just believing all the little things she wanted to believe.

So Azula continued to watch her dance in silence, brushing lightly against fellow patrons and dancers, coveting that lithe female body that moved so dexterously and tempting in front of her. Her eyes full of lust, her work long forgotten.

She arrived at work that morning surprised at all the ceremony. Azula never bothered to count the days or remember any significance to many of the strange Earth Kingdom traditions, so she didn't know about any special events. It happened to be the Winter Solstice that day, December 21st.

The tea shop was covered with frivolous decorations and plumages, people were bustling about and her Uncle was always looking to her strangely. Only later did he tell her that this was day of celebration and fear. It meant for the renewal of positive energies once again, longer days, and a weaker boundary between the spirit world and the realm of the living. It was good to stay with others so one didn't get lost between the worlds when no body was looking. So they festized.

Of course Azula thought the whole ordeal was absolute hogwash, but she played along any way for the novelty of it, still holding a sort of patronizing superiority over the celebrations around her. She put up a bit of a fuss later when she was forced to listen to shrill music all day and squeezed into a brightly colored silk dress that made her legs feel cold. What good would such thing really do to appease anything but the common folk?

Azula had never been much of a believer in spirits. She thought it was all common talk to unite the common folk under a unifying and controlling doctrine of fear and fealty. It was brilliant really, from a political stand point, but outside of context only managed to be moderately annoying. The idea of a life after death was far too appealing to be true. There were no souls, no magic of the hearts, only life, death and all of the drudgery in between. And how wonderful it was to be the only one who knew the truth.

Ty Lee had requested another song, something smooth and jazzy and very foreign sounding. The other dizzy dancing patrons who flitted around her liked the eccentricity of her eclectic Fire Nation tastes. Some men peppered throughout the crowd also watched her dance hungrily as Azula did. Only they were close enough to get a feel of her silky smooth skin, to bathe in the heavenly heat radiating form every little inch of her. They would never be as close to her as Azula was, though, laving up unspoken words and watching with knowing eyes.

Azula slouched back in her chair to find a more comfortable position, a small grin lighting up the corners of her mouth, and for once she didn't even bother to hide it. She wanted Ty Lee to see it, and become more daring, connect their eyes and bathe in the heat there. She couldn't imagine anything but hot palpable fire the next time Ty Lee looked her way.

She had dressed festively too, with much more gusto than Azula of course. How Ty Lee managed to purchase of all these immaculate clothes with nothing even resembling a source of income she'd never know. One of the many mysteries around her. What was worse was that Azula could see how thin the fabric hung on her lanky frame. It was nothing but a light layer of innocent looking green silk. No insulating wool or anything. She hadn't even bothered to put on her usual stockings and let her feet run bare again the twine of her sandals.

When she passed a light Azula could see the outline of her body against the thin material and it made her shake visibly.

How could anything in the world make her feel like this. Even worse something made of flesh and bone. Azula was filled with an incredible want that she had never felt before, except in the company of Ty Lee. The feeling was almost painful in her heart and head. She wanted to touch and feel and _have _that little innocent thing in front of her so badly it was causing her physical pain. Azula wanted all of her. She wanted free reign. The feeling was just so strong right then and there she was having trouble managing it. Usually she could contain herself but she felt like she was bleeding, ripped apart at the very core. All for her. All for one tiny person that had about as much intelligence as a field mouse.

She really was an idiot too. Ty Lee always thought the world was sunshine and roses. "Lets go play with the children outside!" and "Let's pet the Moose Lion." Moose Lions have been known to eat people. You don't pet a Moose Lion. No matter how cute she looked when she asked-- how her little turned up nose got a little wrinkle in it when her face lit up with an oblivious, innocent, heartbreakingly soft smile. How her eyes were full of that jovial childish laughter that made Azula forget all the bad things she's seen lurking around even the brightest corners.

No. No. No!

It was disgusting. Revolting. It was belittling to her very heart and soul. She was supposed to be strong and powerful. She was supposed to have restraint. Why was she crumbling so easily just by _looking_ at someone? Was she really so weak and savage?

It was frustrating!

Everything she thought always, contradicting, contriving, running herself all around, up and down. Circles of circles of squares. Did the world seem simple to Ty Lee? Or was she crazy too?

Azula got to her feet in a hurry, with just the slightest bit of strength running through her limbs.

She couldn't take it any longer. Ty Lee was a tease, and Azula wasn't one to watch something be waggled in front of her face without taking it-- without sinking her teeth in once and for all.


	22. The Solstice Part 2

**A/N:** Ahoy darlings. Just a little something to make up for teasing you last chapter. It's a little longer too.

Enjoy. ;)

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**Chapter 22**

Back in training Azula had always been the brightest and best pupil. She had to be, it was expected of her father's only worthwhile child. She was efficient, deadly, and powerful beyond measure even in her youngest years. Even so she took every one of her instructors with a grain of salt. Any one who's given the slightest bit of leeway suddenly thinks they know every little thing about how the world works.

She hardly put any thoughts to those times now. It was just easier not to. But suddenly, as if by magic, she recalled one of the many vague teachings that she'd brushed off so long ago. Something engrained into her beyond the point of mere words.

When you attack a structure, don't hit it right away. Don't go for the bricks, don't go for the lumber, and certainly don't go for the people. Most careless mercenaries will just straight out attack and see how to burn their bridges that way. A smart assailant will not attack right off the bat. To be the most effective fire bender, you should examine the structure to find a "keystone". That was the word that they used, and it stuck firmly in Azula's mind.

You see when you get at a hot point, of a building, or anything really, a single well planned blow can be irreversibly deadly. It can be so weak and hapless, but as long as it's in just the right spot, the whole thing comes crumbling.

She found it strange that she'd think of it that night under the starry sky, of all the times she'd had to herself. Before the thought hit her, Azula had been busy berating herself, calling her self a coward and a _womanly _creature, strung up on the gallows by her "emotions" and "feelings".

Ty Lee, in all her shallow innocent glory, had done it. Some where along the way, with a hit as light as a feather, she'd hit Azula's keystone. What a magnificent way to crumble into a million pieces. For that was what she was doing. Shattering, falling apart. Azula didn't know how to handle feeling the way she did. She'd spent the vast majority of her life trying as hard as she could not to feel anything. And now someone so absolutely common was just pushing her the right way, speaking the right way, moving the right way, to make it all come rushing back.

Azula didn't like it.

It was rather windy that night making the windows howl, making most folk stay inside for all their drunken dancing and laughing and playing. Azula didn't mind such things however, her hair was tied back, why did she need to fear a cold biting wind. Nothing could keep her from her safe haven now if it tried.

She just needed to get away for a moment. Being in the stuffy room with Ty Lee for the thousandth time was making her think strange things. Up on the roof top, though, her thoughts ran smooth and comforting. She was so lucid and clear for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, and unattached to the wretch who controlled her.

The stars helped her out winking and glistening at her. Watching always, but not really. Fireworks were puncturing the air, ruining their sleepy bliss occasionally. People would take any excuse to celebrate, make the universe sparkle around them, pretend like they were worth a little bit of something in the big, amazing world.

Azula breathed in and out slowly, her eyes falling to a gentle sleepy close.

There were footsteps coming, a gentle little pitter patter of feet. Azula knew the footsteps. She could feel them beating through her heart and racing through her mind. But her calm didn't ease even in the slightest. She felt good here, she felt invincible, as if she were amongst her starry brethren, looking down, rather than living in her own mortal body.

More footsteps, quiet as mice, then a little innocent sounding shuffling, little gentle breaths that fell in tune with Azula's far too easily.

"How did I know you'd be up here?" Ty Lee asked sweetly, a half-drunk giggle in her voice.

Azula didn't open her eyes to greet her, just let the little smile that wanted to pull at the corners of her mouth be seen. Somehow she knew Ty Lee would follow her out there. She would follow Azula anywhere, like a nagging little piece of her mind, of her heart.

Still without speaking a word Azula lifted up one of her pale star-lit hands to Ty Lee, feeling their fingers mesh within moments, their skin drawn to each other with out even their own consent, seemingly. Her skin felt almost hot in Azula hands, but so comfortable.

Ty Lee settled down next to her with ease, daring herself with all her dancing inertia to lean in much closer than she'd dared the last time they had been in a similar situation. She moved their fingers until they were intimately interlaced, arms intertwined in constant contact, constant warmth. She leaned awkwardly over to place her head on Azula's shoulder, her russet hair even let free to blow away from the huddled pair in the chill breeze.

Together with her like that felt so comfortable, and easy. Why had she been fighting it so much if this was what intimacy felt like? Warm and safe, and heartbreakingly wonderful.

"Ty Lee?" Azula whispered her name through the cool air, witnessed by all the lamenting stars. She flickered her eyes open just as a bright red firework obscured most of the lights of the night from her view.

"We don't have to talk if you don't want." Ty Lee muttered in response, and nuzzled a little further into Azula shoulder. Her fingers held them together just slightly tighter.

How to do this? This-- what ever it was she was doing. Should she just spill all her thoughts haphazardly and see Ty Lee's make of them. No. Even she was frightened of some of the things rushing through her mind.

"No, Ty Lee." Azula started again, trying to commit herself. "There's something I really need to say…"

What though? What was this? Always before she had decided on lust, but she could very well say that to Ty Lee. This was something more than lust. Something that she didn't know the word to. Longing? Caring? Desire? Want? Fondness?

Love?

Nothing sounded quiet right to her. Too strong or too soft. All she really wanted was to "be with" her. To have free reign over every inch of her skin, every thought in her head. She wanted Ty Lee there. She wanted to see someone look at her with a gentle look of caring on there face. She wanted to hear her opinion on everything. She wanted to know the things she feared and desired and hoped for. She just wanted so many things. Nothing could be put under the title of any word. Nothing meant all those things.

Azula turned her face slightly to the side to try and catch a glimpse of Ty Lee, who was staunchly avoiding her gaze and clinging to her arm so tight it was almost painful.

"Look at me." Azula demanded, her voice sounding both crisp and soft, harsh and caring. Not being one to deny Azula any order Ty Lee lifted her chin.

Ty Lee's pretty childish face was put into a heartbreaking look of dread for a moment when their eyes met, but it melted away in an instant. She was always on her toes, that girl, always waiting to be reprimanded. But in all reality Azula couldn't blame her. Too many times had she thrown all of her uncertainty and fears onto Ty Lee, just because she was there. Just because she made the mistake of caring for her.

They stared silently at each other for the longest time. It was comfortable endless silence. Ty Lee's eyes were so dark and caring that Azula couldn't think of a better place to spend hours upon hours gazing.

She had thought the words would come to her the moment she had been poised to talk, when she had looked at Ty Lee. She thought somehow she would just know all the right things to say, but nothing came. There were still no words.

Azula had to say something. She wouldn't allow herself to come right to the point of getting what she wanted only to back away like a coward.

"You're so pretty." She uttered simply like a fool, then laughed at how silly it sounded that that was the first thing that came to her mind. She even proceeded to lift her unattached arm over to cup Ty Lee's jaw gently. "You're so pretty that it breaks my heart."

Ty Lee giggled sweetly, "I thought you didn't have a heart, remember?" One of her little hands moved up to take hold of the one that was grasping at her face. Her warm eyes closed to a happy rest as she leaned into the joining of their two hands.

"Sometimes, when I look at you, I think that maybe I have one after all." Azula whispered soft and slow, more to herself than any thing. Ty Lee had heard her though and gave her a stunning smile.

Ty Lee leaned in closer than before, her eyebrows arched so deeply it looked as though she was distraught about something. But her wet warm eyes contradicted. Their cold noses touched with a strange rubbery sensation that make them both laugh, spreading warm breath over each others faces, into each others mouths.

"Now why would you say a silly thing like that?" Ty Lee asked slight and gentle but her voice cracked with the pressure. Her expressive eyes opened and looked to her with a strange look. Desperate. Frantic. And so mind numbingly hopeful.

Azula tried to let her eyes roam else where, but there was nothing else. Ty Lee was so close that every little piece of space around them was filled with her. Her and Ty Lee-- this-- was every thing.

She felt like running away. Just up and leaving. Her heart was beating too fast and her face was red as the hells. But those gentle eyes of hers made her stay. The warm feeling of their hands intertwined so tight and the absolute beauty of every little thing about her.

"I don't know." Azula managed half-heartedly, trying to send her messages through her head. Trying to transfer the feeling so she wouldn't say it wrong. She ran a thumb over Ty Lee's jaw absently, to feel the cool skin spread out for her.

Without thinking or making any mental decision to do so, she moved her clumsy hand aside taking Ty Lee's with it, to press a feather-light kiss on point of her jaw. Then another behind her dangling earlobe. Then another on the shell of her ear. Her fleshy cheek. Her trembling chin. Her frozen nose. Even her eyelid. Even her pale pink lips.

All the places on her pretty face she dreamed of touching, she ran her mouth over with frantic little pecks, trying to express that desire, trying to say what she wanted so say. And she dreamed of touching every little piece of skin that was there. So she sure as well tried.

There were no thoughts in her head. Only a wonderful delirious sensation of being full head to toe. Azula felt like sobbing it was so wonderful. And her Ty Lee didn't back away! Like any sane person would after knowing Azula so well. She sat their completely complacent. Her face alternating from something akin to a wonderful restlessness to sweet smiles and bright eyes.

When she felt like she hadn't left any spot on her face untouched, uncared for, Azula leaned in finally, with a bright smile that wouldn't go away, that made her cheeks hurt. Ty Lee pulled into her too, breathing her air, reveling in the sheer warmth of her, of them. Their harsh breathing synchronized against each other as they breathed one another's breath.

Maybe there didn't need to be a word for this. Maybe she didn't need to attach labels to something that just was. That shivered through her head, swam in her veins. It was enough just to feel it.

Azula dared to look at Ty Lee eyes shyly, full on for the first time, "Because," she whispered finally, huskily, "There are no words."


	23. The Conqueror

**A/N:** I got a site! Who woulda thought "tyzula" wouldn't have been taken on freewebs? Link is on my profile since this thing doesn't seem to like links. I wanted somewhere that I could put more "adult" fan fiction that perhaps this site might not approve of. You know, incase there are ever any lemons in this fic. Hmm… hmm… hmm…

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**Chapter 23**

Azula was high. Or at least she sure felt like it. There was no other explanation for the powerful rushing _wooziness _that plagued every inch of her being. She felt like running, screaming, and singing all at once. But she didn't, of course. Azula just stayed rooted at her little table in the kitchen of the teashop. Any patrons who had been gallivanting about had long since left bring their noise and coin with them. The quiet was welcome. It gave Azula the faint hope that she might be able to put her thoughts into some sort of rational order.

Ty Lee had left earlier. All sunshine and roses. She was too dammed female some of the time. Always backing down and letting Azula set the stakes. Azula didn't like this, and she was troubled slightly that she didn't. Was the headstrong Azula really so pathetic that she needed some silly girl to make the first move? Of course not! She was well-versed at "conquering" how different could a woman really be from strategically managing the capture of a city or some such. Well then. She'd just have to approach this rationally.

Azula wanted Ty Lee. There was no point in arguing this point any further. As much as she tried to escape it, her body seemed right fetched with Ty Lee for some reason, and it didn't look like that would be changing anytime soon.

Also she was quiet certain that Ty Lee at least wasn't completely repulsed by the idea of it, as she'd never showed any outward signs of such things. In fact she had been quite receptive to all of Azula's advances, even going as far to initiate that first kiss.

Well she had motives, and reasonable advantages towards victory. What for strategy? How should she go about conquering her darling Ty Lee?

If she were a small city Azula would attack straight out with brute force. With an army behind her, she would tear down the walls, demand cooperation from all the citizens at threat of bodily harm, and then "negotiate" with their officials. If she were larger, more politically potent, she would have to get someone on the inside to lay the ground work. She would lay low and find out things about the cities inner workings and weak points then exploit them to their fullest advantage, on the way to the helm. All she would need to do then was off their rulers, or at the very least imprison them, and declare herself the new leader.

Hmm? Ty Lee was definitely imperative as far as status goes…

This was ridiculous. Her musings weren't helping her at all. Sure she wanted to have Ty Lee all her own, but using force would just ruin it. She wanted Ty Lee to look at her with the gentle eyes that were so befitting to her, not poorly masked resentment.

Somehow Azula suspected she would never get the rules of this game. She only understood things that made sense, and her intermingling with Ty Lee didn't even border on the sensible. She had no reason for caring so deeply for this girl, she had no reason to be torn into little tiny blubbering shreds every time her dearest darling entered the room. Didn't much stop her from doing it though.

She banged her forehead on the table harshly, not even caring for the sting, and just kept it there. Her head was starting to hurt and the cool polished wood of the table felt good on her forehead.

"Something troubling you, Azula?" came the gravelly, jovial voice of her ever present uncle. How long had he been there? What was up with people sneaking up on her lately? Really, and truly unbelievable. Was the great Azula really losing her edge?

"Hardly, Uncle, I'm just trying to come to terms with the irrational order of the world." She sighed deftly. Proper etiquette would demand she lift her forehead from the table and make eye contact with whomever she was speaking to, but she neglected the gesture. Somehow she felt superfluously tired.

"You are just now doing this?" He chuckled genially, "Azula, this universe is getting more chaotic by the day! So are you, niece. So is everybody. It is just the way of things to become a little bit crazy."

"I'm sure you'd know all about that, Uncle." Azula snapped reflexively. Her Uncle was always trying to _talk _to her about one thing or another, only just right now she didn't feel quiet up to his meaningless babble. "Go get yourself some tea. I'm sure you must be tired this time of night."

"Ah, that is very nice of you, my dear, but, I would much rather be here brooding with my dear little niece." Iroh reached out a thick hand to pet her clumsily on her head. The gesture made her tighten. "I bet I have a guess at your troubles."

"Haven't any troubles, Uncle _dear._ Save for you perhaps." Azula muttered. She lifted her head off the table solemnly to glare at her uncle head on. He seemed oblivious of her intentions however and looked sweetly back at her, with old intelligent eyes that belittled whatever he was playing at.

Iroh smiled looking like some jolly old man, but Azula could sense a slight undertone in his voice. She always had to wary of her uncle and his tendency to double-speak. He was never really quite frank with her, always pretending that every little thing she did was perfect. Azula knew better though. She almost admired him for being so conniving, no matter how _genial _his motives might be.

"Is that right? I could have sworn I heard you mumbling about something." His wrinkled old eyes glimmered playfully as he played the game. "Must have been my imagination."

Azula laughed quietly to herself.

"Uncle, I truly do wonder if you are to _old _for my problems." Azula licked her licked her lips, liking the push and pull. "People of your… experience, tend to be a tad to conventional in their approaches. I wouldn't want to make you repulsed, by any silly childish trends I might be following."

"Ah, Azula, you are a smart child, much to smart for candied slugs, possessing exotic toads, or any other trends that are a bit stirring." Uncle mouthed blithely. Somehow Azula wondered how he would have come by such information about the youth culture of Ba Sing Se. "I do know, even if you were youthful enough to do such things though, I would not be repulsed by you. Who knows, maybe candied slugs are delicious? It's not always wise to judge based on appearances. Or instincts. Or plain old common sense. The pleasures of life are more often then not surprises."

"Whatever." Azula mumbled, furrowing her brow lightly. "Haven't any problems any way, and most certainly not with slugs. Though I'm beginning to suspect you do."

Her uncle laughed with his full belly in response for a full moment. "No, Azula, my ailing lies with tea. And I am fully unashamed! Where then, my dear, do your ailments lie I wonder, if not slugs? Surely there must be something that's been making you sigh like a lovelorn teenager. I am always here to help you."

Azula bit at her lip. If her uncle thought she was going to have a heart to heart with him right there over the diner table he must be insane. She didn't need _help _of any sort now or ever. Still she felt a tad bit curious, driven up a wall as she was, and even if he were about as helpful as a garden gnome it couldn't hurt to hear him out.

"Don't over think this or anything. I'm merely curious, but…" Azula began softly, grimacing at the soft smile that lit her elderly uncle's face, "You were, once upon a time, married, I believe. So you should know a thing or two about the atrocities of courtship…" She sighed heavily, trying to gather any last piece of dignity she could. "How might that work exactly?"

Azula was already braced for a chiding grin, and some sort of homely comment. She was ready to deny all allegations and storm out the door, if need be. Strangely enough her uncle merely sat calmly across from her. His face hadn't changed, his hands were still crossed neatly in front of him. He didn't even make a move to mock her like she thought he would.

"Azula, dear, there you go again, getting hung up on rules and rationality. Didn't you say yourself that you were coming to terms with the randomness of this very world?" He clucked at her gently. "You'll find, my dear, that the more important something is in life the less you'll know about it before hand-- the less you'll be able to plan. And caring about someone? That's very important."

Azula grimaced. Her Uncle was just marvelous at saying things that meant nothing wasn't he? She didn't know why she'd expected more. She must have been getting really desperate.

Her seemed to notice her reaction, "Don't be disheartened. I can tell you this. There is a reason flowers have been a traditional gift for so many years. They are calming and nice to look at, but most importantly when there are no words a flower can do all the speaking for you." Iroh's voice drifted away soothingly for a moment before he settled on a light grin, "Besides, certain flowers can even be recycled into to tea."

"Of course," She laughed a little at his incessant mentioning of tea. "So that's you're big secret, Uncle? It all boils down to flowers." Trust her uncle to be simple and sentimental.

Azula stood and began to dust herself off. She was tired and was obviously getting nothing from her from the senile former general. So why waste it? She had merely been curious to begin with.

With a lazy stride she began to work her way out of the kitchen and into the front room to leave when she heard her Uncle clearing his throat behind her. She turned warily to greet his warm stare. A slight bit dizzy from the motion.

"She's a very nice girl, Azula." He said confidently with a knowing grin. "Don't do something reckless to make her go away."


	24. The Flower

**A/N:** Hello dearies. It feels like it's been forever since I've updated but it hasn't been more than a few days. I've been planning and so far have about up to chapter 30/31 planned out. But things change so much when I write it, who knows. But at least we're good til then right?

Longer chapter this time. :) I hope no one dies of the massive fluffiness.

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**Chapter 24**

Azula had never had to deal with cowardice before. She was always more than willing to put her life on the line, dive in risky battle situations, and deal with the most hostile people with out so much as a flinch. She was always so sure that she would suceed. How could she not? The princess Azula was an unstoppable force capable of anything. But this, this stupid little girl, this stupid yellow flower, made her shy and afraid. It made her fall into a hazardous spiral of what-ifs and second-guessing.

What if Ty Lee was just being polite? What if she really was just a tease? What if she was incapable of having feelings for a girl? What if she was incapable of having feelings for her? A simple courtly gesture of giving a girl a flower. There were too many ways this could go wrong. Too many ways Azula could end up making a complete fool of herself, but worst of all there were too many ways to alienate Ty Lee so completely they might never be able to talk to each other again.

Was all of this worth the risk?

There were so many thoughts rushing through Azula's head she barely had time for any action. Her slippered feet stayed firmly planted by the entrance to the main dining room of the tea shop, wiggling and moving just to feign action. Her long tapered fingers jostled nervously with the stem of her little fresh-cut flower, the daffodil, to entertain them. Her clouded eyes stayed trained on her Ty Lee predatorily, while bashfully remaining hidden by the mass of the only slightly open door that separated them.

How long had she been there, sweating and trying to tame the thrumming of her runaway heartbeat? Time didn't seem to flow right when it came to Ty Lee. Backwards, forwards, too slow, too fast. It was hard to tell anything. Azula had a vague feeling somewhere in the back of her mind that she should be working. That this was far too long for a break. But still she starred.

She had to do this. She'd already decided. Besides if she went back to the kitchen now, her uncle would surely see the flower in her hand and say something. That would be a fate worse than death. Azula was not some coward who'd spend her life fawning over something-- someone. No, if she wants it she takes it. That was who she was, that's who she is. Always has been always will be. Strong. Proud. Impenetrable.

Right?

Ty Lee had begun looking for her, Azula noticed, or maybe even wished. She was sitting at her usual table so much quieter and shyly than before. Her little jilted fingers moving round and round the damp rim of her ceramic tea cup, but never making a move to drink it. Her posture was closed, shoulders drawn in, ankles crossed, head bowed low to the work of her skillful hands. Every once in a while she would look up and around with her large childishly innocent eyes. Towards the pass station, towards the other servers, anywhere. Then they'd flicker down again, back to her distraction, back to her tea, looking almost disappointed, by Azula's count.

Azula reached out her free hand to creak the door open a little more. That was the gateway after all to actually clearing it and going to the other side. To an end of her thrice dammed girlish bashfulness. The pretty little flower still jostled nervously in her other hand, bobbing it's oversized head up and down.

Ty Lee had resumed her bad habit of biting at her lips. It was such a shy demure gesture, that stung at Azula painfully. She loved the obscenely pale shade of Ty Lee's smooth pink lips, and didn't want them marred in nervous self-harm. She didn't want to see little blood colored scabs on such pretty things that should be hers to care for. Why was Ty Lee nervous anyway? What did _she _have to be worry about, sitting there all alone?

The door opened a little more, another baby step. Azula moved the crisp cut daffodil to her face to run the soft petals over the length of her cheek, an attempt to get a smell out of it, to remind herself of the reason for all this trouble. She liked these sorts of mushy girly things. Didn't she? Ty Lee had told her that daffodils were her favorite. Strange that Azula _still _couldn't remember the tea Ty Lee liked but she knew her favorite flower.

She sure hoped Uncle was right about his flower nonsense. He'd pay if he wasn't. Azula didn't know if she could handle the rejection of being vomit-worthy and rejected at the same time.

After one last circle around the rim of her cup Ty Lee changed her routine slightly by dipping the point of her index finger in. A little smile lit her face as she did so. It was kind of cute how easily she was amused with her childish games. It was a real smile too. Azula could always tell the real smiles by how her eyes squinted just slightly, how she got a little adorable wrinkle on her nose that made it look almost like she was smelling something pleasant every time. Azula just loved that smile.

Ty Lee took the dripping honey colored liquid to the table and began drawing with it. Large swooping things, circles it looked like. Azula couldn't tell, she was much to far away. But she saw the little childish smile on that lit up Ty Lee's face-- never mind the fact that Azula was probably going to be the one cleaning that up later.

Maybe the stupid flower would make her smile, like that? Maybe it'd make Ty Lee smile just for her.

Azula moved quickly, halting out the door. Once her mind had made the decision it turned on her completely and forced her towards Ty Lee. At least what ever compeled her to move onward allowed her the simple modesty of hiding the dafodil behind her back.

Ty Lee looked up almost instantly. Her eyes twisted into a wonderful smile as their eyes locked together. She stopped biting at her lips.

"Ty Lee." Azula acknowledged her quietly with a little bow before sitting across from her, straight backed, and trying to look dignified.

"Azula." She mouthed back and gave her an amused nod back. Azula always found it annoying how Ty Lee seemed to think her being uncomfortable was something funny. It certainly wasn't funny to her.

"I just came here to… inquire of your condition. I suppose." Azula managed awkwardly. She never seemed to have any of the right words when she needed them. She was usualy so good at speaking too. What bewitching power did Ty Lee have that she could take her speech away so easily?

"Is that a 'How do you do?'" One of her high eyebrows shot up into her mass of dark brown hair. "I'm just dandy. Better now that you're here, of course."

Didn't even flinch on that one. The sneaky little she-devil.

"Did you see your self home well? No problems on those shoddy lower ring cobbles?" Dammit she really meant to be talking about something else.

"Nope." She giggled and interlocked her finger together before her. "Did _you_ give any one any trouble on these ritzy upper ring streets?"

"Hardly. Since when am I the low class hammer thug, Ty Lee? I don't give people trouble, I relieve them of their suffering and poor behaviors. Like a god or angel or some such." Azula couldn't help a small smile when Ty Lee rolled her eyes, "You have the gall to question me? You must hold yourself in high regard to assume I'd forgive such a transgression."

Ty Lee shrugged emphatically, "Actually I was kind of hoping you'd punish me." She laughed sweetly at the slight blush that her comment brought forth.

Azula let out a shuddering breath. She should really stop stalling. Her hand was starting to sweat on the stupid damnable flower and she didn't want it to go limp or something. Or worse have Ty Lee notice that she'd been sweating on the little thing.

"Ty Lee, I have something to-- 'er give to you." She stammered of quickly. There. Can't turn back now. "It was Uncle's idea really. I thought it was stupid and cutesy, but you know, I like to make him feel useful sometimes."

"A present!?!" Ty Lee squealed much louder than necessary and drew a few stray looks. "I promise I'll like it. I swear. Out with it, Azula!"

Ty Lee was such a child. Just the prospect of receiving something was making her jump up and down and screech. Never mind how mindless cute and adorable she looked with her fists pumping in the air and an impossibly wide smile on her pretty round face, it was inappropriate. Public and all that.

Azula moved her hand shakily from behind her to reveal the little thing, and hold it between them like and offering. It seemed so heavy all of the sudden so she lowered her hand to the table face to support it.

Ty Lee's face fell instantly from uppity giggling and smiling like a little girl to complete puzzlement. Her eyes were held open wide, head tilted to the side like a baby animal. Her gaze continually flickered from the small yellow bloom then up to Azula's face, then back again.

"D-don't think so much of it." Azula projected shyly. She hadn't really prepared for rejection, but the words spilled from her mouth as easy as if she'd practiced them. "Uncle had a new order of blooms and what not for tea come in. You know, some tea tastes best fresh… I remembered you said that you liked them. Not like I went out of my way for you."

It wasn't like she scoured every little shop in the merchant district trying to find a healthy looking daffodil in the middle of blazing winter. It's not like it cost a fortune or anything. Nothing like that at all.

"I-- thank you." Ty Lee whispered quietly bringing her fingers up to cover her mouth. "I don't know what to say. Just thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

Her dour eyes were locked on the innocent pallor of the daffodil, in complete silence for a long moment, before she moved her hands from her mouth to cup them both around Azula's hand and the flower within it. She always had such warm hands, even to a fire bender like Azula they felt so warm and alive. Her little blunt nails attempted to dig into Azula's pale skin in a gesture similar to kneading. There was a strange smile on her face. Azula couldn't quite tell if it was happy or not. But it was a smile. Smile's were good.

"You know they're poisonous." Ty Lee managed after a while, while giving Azula a comforting little stroke with her thumb. "You can't make tea out of daffodils."

Of course.

"Well, that makes sense I guess." Azula muttered shyly, scratching at her head with her free hand. "I _was _lying, afterall."

That made her smile big. Nose wrinkle and everything. She had the most wonderful smile, it was almost painful to look at.

"I really like it. Really, really." Ty Lee ran a finger over the surface of one of the daffodil's petals gentle and slow, almost wistfully, leaving her other hand to hold onto Azula's with a moderately tight grasp. She had such a sweet gentle look in her eyes.

"You know, you surprise me sometimes, 'Zula." She spoke up again after clearing her throat. "I never would have thought you could be so sweet."

"I am _not _swee--" Ty Lee lifted a finger up to Azula's lips with a brilliant smile.

"You're sweet and adorable!" Ty Lee giggled mischievously. "And I love it."

Azula swatted her hand away, threw the flower towards her and stood straight up out of her seat. "I am _not _sweet. And I'm certainly not _adorable._" She feigned a shudder and made a move to start walking away.

This was what she had been afraid of from the very beginning of what ever the hell this thing was with Ty Lee. Azula was not mushy. She was not sentimental. She wasn't the sort of person who did flowers. Ty Lee was just making her crazy that's all it was. Crazy and _sweet._

"Azula." Ty Lee tugged at Azula's arm before she could get too far away from the table and ushered her right back. "I'm sorry. You're gross and ugly. Better?"

"Terribly." Azula muttered back with a sigh.

"Thank Uncle for the gift for me would you?" Ty Lee mouthed while pressing the stupid little thing up the her nose. Pointless gesture really. The damn thing doesn't smell like anything.

"He's my uncle, not yours, Ty Lee." She spat, "And I'm still the one gifting you that ridiculous flower to begin with. Not him."

"Well I already, thanked you. Just be pointless to do it again" She rolled her eyes sarcastically and giggled. "Suppose I could anyway, though."

Ty Lee's eyes glinted playfully, then she leaned in looking innocent enough to all the follow tea shop patrons to press a friendly kiss to Azula's cheek. Maybe just a moment longer then casual. To any one who may have been looking however they would have just looked like two friends simply greeting each other or saying goodbye. It was common enough.

Azula blushed red instantly, anyway. Letting her eyes shoot around to see if any one was watching the two of them a little too intently. Not only that by pointedly trying to avoid Ty Lee's eyes.

"Can't we sit back down, 'Zula?" Ty Lee asked sweetly, either oblivious to Azula's distress or faking it rather well. "You know if you're done having a hissy fit."

Azula growled lighted and slumped back into the chair she'd been sitting in before. Ty Lee followed her obediently soon after.


	25. The Yeti

**A/N**: Ah! I've created a crack monster. Oh noes! You'll see what I'm talking about. I kinda sorta had a reason for it though.

Woo! 50,000 words! Longest friggin thing I've written in my life. That's like a novella or something. O.o Who'd have thought I'd have that kind of attention span?

* * *

**Chapter 25**

She felt like she was running around in circles. There were so many things she wanted to say for so long, that she was aching to say, needing to say, but the words just wouldn't pass through her lips. It was frustrating to be so controlled by one little insignificant person. And Azula didn't like being controlled.

She'd spent too many years of her life doing things she didn't want to for the sake of obedience. She was the perfect daughter, the perfect general, the perfect fire bender, the perfect citizen. She had learned to over look fear without a second thought. If Ty Lee thought that she was going to keep Azula lapping at her toes she had another thing coming. Azula was strong. She didn't bow down to anyone. Not anymore.

Azula watched her from across the empty dinning room, as she prepared to leave for the day. Layers of coats and wool. Disastrously bodiless things that hid her wonderful shape from view and made her look more like some snow beast then any thing. Maybe not wool, a sort of tweed perhaps. Whatever fabric, she'd chosen to adorn herself with was disastrously hideous. A grotesque mash-up of browns, greens, and yellows. A _hairy_, _fuzzy_ grotesque mash-up of browns, greens, and yellows. With a matching hat.

It was bloated and huge and bag-lady like, or perhaps homeless bum. Or even giant ant-eater. Azula couldn't imagine what would possibly possess her to wear something so unsightly. It was almost comical the way her round childish face stood out amongst all the vomit colored mess, with large round eyes and wavy brown hair. That small youthful face peaking through, eyes blinking cluelessly like a snow ready child of over-protective parents.

She was almost cute-- despite being ridiculously ugly.

Azula's fingers clutched idly at the table she was perched upon, a frustrated nervous gesture. So she would be speaking to a yeti then? Oh Ty Lee, that clever little minx.

Perhaps it'd be better this way. For once in her life Ty Lee wasn't trying her best to look marvelously attractive. This may be the only opportunity she'd get to speak candidly with her, and not get carried away with perverse fantasies and imaginings to make her bashful. There was no way her thoughts were coming anywhere near sensual romps now. Think of the rug burn.

It was now or never. She'd planned it all out in her head. The only obstacle now was to just get up and say it. Like reading from a book. Simple and easy. Yet her stomach was turning back flips, and every bone in her body was telling her not to move forward.

"Ty Lee?" Azula managed calmly defiant, "Could you come over here a moment?"

Hah. The Princess Azula was no slave to bodily whims and whinings. If she wanted to speak she would speak. Even if all she had to speak about were silly girlish things about how she _felt _and what she _wanted._

In all her sasquatch glory, Ty Lee turned towards Azula with a bright obedient smile peaking out from under her wooly hat and fly-away hair. She tried to move toward her, but was having more trouble than usual moving and more or less had to waddle across the tea shop floor. Azula wondered how she was going to manage to get all the way home in such a condition.

"Yes, Azula?" She asked sweetly obsequious after laboriously managing to clear the floor. Azula could help but snort and hide a smirk in response. Damn her, making everything so difficult.

"I just-- I would like to have your full attention, Ty Lee. There is something that I would… like to have audience with you about. And unfortunately the matter cannot be delayed any further. It's been put back long enough." Azula voice came out cool and calculating. Almost word for word what she had practiced saying. No matter how much trouble she was having focusing while Ty Lee was staring at her, looking like something a cat threw up.

"Oh, um, sure?" Ty Lee muttered quietly, looking a little confused at her formality, "Whatever you'd like to speak of and… erm about… I'd be happy to parley with you… for being of…?"

"Yes, of course," Azula managed to squeak out, narrowly avoiding a solid break in her exterior and falling to her knees laughing. She cleared her throat. "You've been in Ba Sing Se with me for a while now, and there's something that's come to my attention…"

Ty Lee looked at her questioningly in the same way a baby animal would, eyes bright and wide, pupils dilated, head tilted visibly to the right, eyebrows risen. Azula gritted her teeth. She was just so adorably stupid looking, it was all Azula could do to try and restraint her self from cooing at her and tapping at her nose.

"I didn't do something bad did I?" Ty Lee asked in her sweet girlish voice. Her eyes shifted suddenly to an almost sad look and Azula couldn't stop herself from reaching out to pat one of her heavily padded shoulders.

"N-no. No. As if you could do something wrong." Azula stammered, and drew her self in even further when Ty Lee looked up to her with a simple pleased smile. "What I mean to say is, if any one of us would be doing the bad thing it'd be me. I'm the big… _baddie_… remember? And you, Ty Lee, all cute and innocent-- definitely not something, you know, bad." Azula scratched at the back of her head shyly. Where did her speech go? She had something to say! Damn Ty Lee and her… Ty Lee-y-ness… making her talk and think and act like a buffoon.

"You're not bad. You're amazing and smart and beautiful!" Ty Lee grinned roguishly, and landed a light playful swat on Azula's arm. "So _you_ think I'm cute, huh?"

Azula jumped back away from her instinctually, "No, no, no. Wipe that smirk off your face this instant! I meant in cute in a childish, helpless-- _useless_, sort of manner. Not, whatever warrants that tone your having with me." Absolute lie.

"Okay." Ty Lee chirped, brushing off the subject with more casualty than logically possible, but still retaining and devious look in her eye. "You were talking about something, remember? Ba Sing Se, attentions, important, blah, blah, blah. Please continue."

Azula blinked pointedly. Was she really being let off that hook that easily? No, off course not. Those sorts of things didn't just happen. This conversation wasn't going the way she'd planned it. Every second she felt herself loosing more and more control. If she knew what was good for her she'd turn back, send Ty Lee off into the night. She'd keep herself warm well enough. Save this conversation for another day. Maybe.

"Ty Lee?" She started softly, and took a step towards her solemnly. "Could you take this damn thing off? I feel like I'm taking to a bear." Instead of waiting for a reply she just worked her fingers over the clasps, trying to remove the Ty Lee that she was familiar with from her woolen prison.

"Um…" Ty Lee muttered slowly. Her body stiffed a little under the close contact. "I do have to catch the last tram. I… don't want to be late or anything." Her eyes were dark and pretty, smooth and submissive. A coy little feminine trick.

"I'll fetch you a coach." Azula waved her hand dismissively, as she unlatched the last little clasp, and worked the huge ugly piece of fabric off her shoulders, feeling it catch on her woven mittens, then pulling those off too. She gathered all Ty Lee's outer wear along with her hat in a pile atop one of the shops many deserted tables. Fingers still bristling from the rough wool.

Azula turned back towards Ty Lee unceremoniously. To see her staring pointedly in another direction.

"Would you, like to sit down." Azula make a large genial gesture towards the closest table. Her fingers were twitching as she ran over the words in her head again and again. Much faster than she could ever say them out loud.

"No." Ty Lee met her eyes with a calm grin. She looked strangely pensive. Her little rounded fingers reached out shyly to grasp at Azula's sleeves and twiddle with them. "I'm sure that you can stall well enough standing up."

"You're probably right." She smiled sheepishly.

This had been taking to far too long already. Azula just kept avoiding the subject because she didn't exactly know how to go about talking about it. It just wouldn't be prudent not to though. Azula wasn't like Ty Lee. She couldn't just go with the flow and see what happens. She need to talk about this, discuss it. Maybe any information she would gather would help her to come to a rational conclusion to this situation. She didn't like all this uncertainty.

For a long time now Azula had been wanting to talk about "them", about the "us", about whatever the hell she and Ty Lee _were._ She'd come to the dicision without much fanfare. Simply concluding that any embarrassment she incurred would be worth the simple pleasure of knowing where they all stood. If she knew how Ty Lee "felt" she could analyze all her rational options and plan for the future. Much safer than flying blind. And much more comfortable. Still she didn't know how she'd respond either way.

What if Ty Lee rejected her? What then? Would they just go by every day like normal, sipping tea and simmering in each others company? Azula didn't know if she could handle that kind of awkwardness on a daily basis. Every polite word would be suspect and little Ty Lee would have something over her. She didn't like that.

Then again there was always the possibility that she would just leave. That would be logically, practically the best result. If Ty Lee was gone Azula would be able to finally place her thoughts else where. Decide what the hell she was going to do with the rest of her life. Whether it be a long stationary existence or a short prideful one.

But what happened if she reciprocated? What then? Azula didn't know how to "court" someone let alone be in some sort of _relationship_. The word tasted almost bitter. Would that be their future. Sitting around a rickety old table together doing bills and taxes until they died. Didn't exactly sound fun.

How the hell was she supposed to figure out what Ty Lee wanted if she didn't even know what it was that she wanted. Ty Lee would be expecting some sort of projection on what Azula was thinking of after all. What would she say? She just needed some time to think.

"Can we, I don't know…" Azula looked down to her fingers. She should commit herself to a later date so she wouldn't do the cowardly thing and accept that status quo. Maybe make an event out of the whole affair. Go some place with liquor.

Ty Lee smiled at her sweetly and gave a little nod. Her fingers drifted lower to squeeze Azula's hand reassuringly.

"I'd like it if we went somewhere else to talk someday. Not now, of course, I mean it is awfully late." Azula started calmly. This was much easier than asking a big important question about "us". She licked her lips. "Someplace that serves alcohol." Ty Lee was giving her a strange sideways look. "And maybe food. I mean since you don't drink…"

"Azula?" Ty Lee bit at her lips trying to choke down a smile, but doing a very poor job. "You mean like… a date?"

"No! No, not a date." Azula stumbled carelessly, and looked away. Somehow her fingers still managed to be held tight in place with Ty Lee's however. "I just meant like-- an outing. And just to talk. Not a date. Definitely not a date."

Azula must've been blushing head to toe. She was very glad the tea shop got dark at night and that she'd already put out most of the lights, to hide it. She was such an idiot. How could she have been so careless with her words. Ty Lee just had an amazing ability to make her act like the biggest fool on the planet.

"Oh?" Ty Lee asked shyly. She began twisting the point of her shoe into the ground, in a little demure gesture. "I would have said yes."

Azula caught her eye hard, and held the gaze longer than she thought she'd even be able to. Her throat was dry, and she was pretty sure her fingers were sweating as she clutched onto Ty Lee's hand. She let her eyes scan her face questioningly. Did she hear that right? Did she just say _that_? She wasn't just kidding was she? Being childish and playful?

Nothing. She couldn't see anything in Ty Lee's face.

"I don't even know how-- I don't know what that would mean." Azula looked to her desperately. She needed to think. There were no words in her mouth, and she couldn't just sit there looking at Ty Lee dumbly, saying nothing, when she was obviously waiting for a response. "You'd like that? I mean, could we?"

Azula shook her head in frustration. She wasn't making any sense. She didn't know how to handle this. This whole damn situation was why she needed more time. She just didn't know.

She knew pretty well how she felt. Azula was down right infatuated with Ty Lee. She was incoherent, ridiculous, when ever she was around. Was that really a good thing? She was okay with how life was now. Wouldn't a "date" make everything so much harder and confusing? Wouldn't "together" make her fall apart?

Azula moved her eyes back towards her. She was really so pretty and kind and pleasant. Even though Azula found herself constantly berating Ty Lee's intelligence, she wasn't truly that moronic. She was just a little simple sometimes. Too trusting, too childish. Not stupid though. She may not have use big words or know all the facts that twisted through Azula's brain but that wasn't for lack of intelligence. Ty Lee just knew there were better things to think about.

For some reason Azula had always thought that wanting someone made her weak. Everyone was a lesser, so what did she need them for any way. She thought she could live a hard lonely life all for the sake of being right, being smart, being a martyr. But did that really make her strong?

Shying away from Ty Lee to make herself feel better didn't make her feel strong. It made her feel cowardly and childish. This whole "us" thing, this whole "date" thing was the terrifying unknown, and her initial response like a coward was to shy away. More time. More time. When would she run out of time to take?

She was such a pathetic coward.

"Sorry." Ty Lee backed away trying to take her fingers with her. "I didn't mean to make you make that face. Don't even think about it. I'm just sorry I brought it up."

"No," Azula gripped her little fingers tighter in her hand. She raised her chin to meet Ty Lee's eyes head on. Confident. Brave. "I want to."


	26. The Outing

**A/N**: I didn't intend on updating so soon, but I was reading TyZula fan fiction today and they were making me sad, so I had to write something happy to balance it out. I care way too much about my girls to read most of the fan fiction about them. It never turns out well.

* * *

**Chapter 26**

"Ty Lee, really, isn't there some where else that we can go?" Azula licked her lips and let her eyes shift around the ground floor tavern on the inn where Ty Lee was living. Dozens of drunken bearded men. She settled in uneasily into their corner table. "All of your 'friends' are staring at us. I was kind of hoping for more privacy."

"Oh, don't worry. They're nice! And they won't bother us, I promise." Ty Lee smiled her smooth shy smile and that was that. Azula had a hard enough time saying no to her as it was, let alone now.

At first it had seemed simple enough. A date. A date. Just a date. People go on dates all the time and the vast majority of them are still alive. Surely no matter how fatal the situation seemed Azula would somehow manage to survive it. It would be just like every other day. They would sit around like they usually do. Talk like they usually do. Who would spare a care to what it _was_.

After days of not being able to breath, shaking much more than normal, and dreading their little outing, she wasn't exactly thrilled to get it off the ground. Azula wondered vaguely how anyone could manage to do this. Did they all feel annoyingly anxious and self-conscious at the sight of their "date"? How were there so many couples in the world if the feeling was that unpleasant? Or maybe it was just her. Maybe she was a weird damaged weakling, incapable of interpersonal relationships. Maybe there was a reason no one liked her.

It had been a stupid idea. She should have never agreed to a date. Azula was not that sort of person. She did not do flowers and kisses and kind words-- recent events excluded.

Ty Lee was just far too good at driving her up and down and in circles.

They sat across from each other quietly. More like strangers than the supposed friends they had been over all those long years. Ty Lee dragged her finger round and round in patterns on the surface of their rickety wooden table. Her eyes flickered wondrously in the dim lantern light of the dark tavern. Like pretty hot crystal in the sun. She didn't look so nervous. Maybe she was just bored.

She didn't even try to start up a conversation with Azula. It was always Ty Lee talking a mile a minute, bringing up topics that should never see daylight. Yet now when all Azula desired was a simple jumping off point, something to start the meaningless jibber-jabber, she fell silent as a mouse, or a petulant child.

This air of silence was almost palpable, and thick like syrupy soup. It made Azula twitch and squirm worse than anything.

"I apologize." Azula looked down to her folded hands as Ty Lee looked towards her curiously. Her voice sounded too loud, as it broke their silent barrier. "I know I'm not the best company. I don't really… know how to do this." She finally admitted quietly. Better than saying nothing. "Not that it's a failing on my part. I feel horribly cheated."

Ty Lee's lip quirked, "Why?"

"I've had countless lessons on etiquette for innumerable situations and occasions. Yet somehow it never occurred to any of my instructors to inform me on how to properly behave… well in this one." Azula tried haplessly. It was true though, even thought she suspected she was simply missing a chromosome. Too much inbreeding in her lot or something.

"They probably didn't think it was important. Don't they do a lot of arranged marriages in the upper rungs?" Ty Lee looked down shyly as the barkeep finally managed to swagger over their way to serve their drinks. "Besides I think you're great company, 'Zula."

"Oh really? I'm even boring myself. I don't know what to say to you." She scoffed, and took a deep swig of her spirits, settling into a high fake voice she'd often heard around the courts. "Oi, that's an awful appealing sparkly hair _thing, _Ty. Market or specialty? And when ever do you have the time, dear? You know inflations awfully high now and abouts. I'd be saving my monies for little trinkets later when the economy settles back down. It'd be the prudent thing, darling."

Ty Lee giggled sweetly, "Or you could just tell me I'm pretty. I always like it when you do that." She grinned slyly as she played with the rim of her seltzer glass, and blinked quickly.

"Well, you are." Azula looked down shyly without much thought for a moment. Then Ty Lee squealed jarringly making her head shoot back up, "In a purely aesthetic manner, of course. Your facial attributes retain a good ratio with one another in a generally pleasing manner."

"Oh, you just have to ruin everything." Ty Lee pouted but her eyes still looked bright and happy. "Wanna know something? No pretties about it, I think you're hot." Azula choked on her drink. "See? I thought you'd like that."

"Well, that's because it's true. Obviously." Azula smiled shyly and downed the rest of her drink.

Azula had never been much of a drinker, what with her being locked away for a good three years of her not quite adulthood. She remembered her mother would give her something when she would have nightmares as a child. And her father told her to never refuse a drink from one of his generals. It wasn't that she was fond of it, she just didn't see why Ty Lee made such a big deal about a drink. Or any of her aura nonsense really.

She was starting to feel it though. A little bit of not quite cloudiness but more like quiet in her mind. She was quicker to speak and act before all of her thinking round and round in circles. That was why she wanted a date with alcohol to begin with. She wouldn't think too much. Something she was starting to discover could actually be a downfall.

This tavern served some pretty hard stuff once you got past the common ale and wines. Like a true daughter of the Fire Nation Azula liked something with a little kick. Something clear and woody tasting, almost spicy but not quiet as fastidious.

Azula waved the barkeep over to order another drink.

"Azula?" Ty Lee asked sweetly as she began to tear into her neat little meal of something looking very green and meat. She looked to Azula with large questioning eyes for a moment.

"Yes, Ty Lee?" Azula groaned. She didn't like all the formality behind rhetoric. Still her voice came out smooth and practiced for the thousandth time "Is there something you wish to express?"

She smiled shyly and played with her food. "I really like you. A lot. A lot, a lot. I just… wanted to make sure you knew that."

Azula looked down at her fingers with a little grin. Did she hear that just right? Ty Lee liked her? Well she knew that already, but the words were just so sweat to her ears. She couldn't remember if any one had ever actually said them to her before. Well convincingly anyway.

Azula studied her face with an intense ease. Ty Lee was quietly avoiding her gaze pretending to be lost in what ever what covering her plate. Her high shapely eyebrows betrayed her though, scrunching inward thoughtfully. Azula loved it when she looked like that. All girlish and shy. She only wished there were more light in the room so that she could try and catch the red on her cheeks.

"Why?" Azula's eyes flickered as Ty Lee looked up to her questioningly. "I want you to tell me why _you _would like _me_. I'm still trying to figure it out." Her voice was grumbly and vindictive almost. She felt the slightest bit daring. Could she make Ty Lee blush more? Could she make her look even sweeter?

"I don't really…" She smiled sweetly and wrinkled her nose. "Okay. You're really smart. You are probably the most beautiful anything I've ever seen. Y-you bounce back from anything with your head held high, shoulders back, better for the experience. You can just do anything." Ty Lee sighed, looking to Azula for an interjection but only receiving a curious look. "I always admired you I guess. I still do, no matter what. You're just amazing, really. I don't know how else to say it. Just incredible. Amazing. Fantastic."

"You're very astute, dear. I like it." Azula smiled at the arrival of her new glass. "Sometimes I think that's the only thing I like about you. I look at you and see you looking at me. I like being liked maybe. Does that bother you?"

"I'll take what I can get." She smiled with a cute tilt of her head. "What other choice is there?"

Azula suddenly felt a strong desire to kiss her. Ty Lee was such a sweet little girl. She'd have to be a saint to put up with all the ups and downs Azula put her through. All the mean things she'd say before she even had the chance to think. But it was one of things Azula absolutely loved about her own dear Ty Lee, she knew that Azula spoke more barbs then she meant.

Ty Lee was like a shivering homeless puppy. All Azula would have to do was look at her and she would feel an overpowering urge to be the one that gave her a home, that gave her love. Just to see her happy for it. Just to make her feel good.

"Ty?" Azula asked suddenly, reaching out to pull Ty Lee's hand away from her eating utensils and hold it soundly in her own. "For what it's worth. I _really _like you too. And not just because you like me. Because you are amazing. Incredible. Fantastic. Because, well, you're you."


	27. The Alcohol

**A/N**: School starts again today. And instead of going to bed like I good girl I wrote this. And I have to get up for school in less than an hour. Oh well. What's the point in trying to go to sleep if you won't be able to anyway?

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**Chapter 27**

Azula's mind awoke long before her eyes opened. She registered vaguely that something was wrong, that something was different. Her head was too drowsy to put too much thought to it. She felt tired in a way that couldn't be cured by sleep.

She was surrounded by that marvelous smell, drenched in it. Ty Lee's usual deep sobering flowery scent wasn't just wafting her way from one direction, she felt surrounded by it, covered in it. It was in the air in her breath, in her lungs. Ty Lee was every where. Was she dreaming still?

There was movement at her side and Azula's eyes flicked to greet it for half a second. Still her eyes couldn't seem to open. And her breath was so heavy and slow.

What had happened the day before? She wasn't working was she? No something else. Why couldn't she place it…

Of course. Of course! Last night had been the date. The ever dreaded and oh so sweet date. Azula remembered sitting across from Ty Lee at a little tavern table, with graying wood that looked swollen from rain and rot. She remembered the slight hint of coloring on her eyelids, the glimmer of strawberry-red rouge on her pretty lips, and her little tentative smile and kind words that she'd never ever deserve.

And the alcohol. She remembered that too.

What had happened last night? Some things struck starkly in her mind but they weren't anything important. Just little snippets of running her fingers over the lacquered edge of a table, pretty warm eyes looking her way under thick darkened eye lashes, swirls of frantic movements.

Azula's eyes shot open. "Ty Lee?" She asked to a warm dark room.

This wasn't her uncle's apartment. Little slats of light would always sneak in even in the dead of night in that ridiculously urban space. But here she couldn't see a thing. Pitch black darkness. She vaguely recalled Ty Lee's small room not having any windows. And being hot as the hells.

There was a movement again near her right elbow. Clothes shuffling and the sound of deep drowsy breaths. A blanket that covered Azula up to her neck dragged a little across her, the feel of it was heavy and warm like a quilt stuffed tightly with lamb's wool. She felt a body reach over her, brushing her side with warmth, and making her breath quicken. Making her breath in more and more of that delirious scent until her head was spinning, mouth watering.

There was a little click and then a dim orange light.

"You're awake." Ty Lee whispered drowsily, her breath still heavy with sleep. "I was wondering if you'd ever wake up."

Azula looked around the room quickly. The warm sandy tones, rickety wooden furniture, about enough space to merely lay down. Yes, definitely Ty Lee's ridiculously small room. But, gods, what was she doing there? She felt a slight sting of panic in her chest.

They hadn't _done _anything had they?

"Relax." Ty Lee laughed a sweet lilting laugh. She had managed to prop herself up on an elbow to hover over Azula, make aching contact with her eyes. "I didn't molest you or anything. I just thought you were too drunk to go home, so I kept you here."

"I was more worried I'd felt you up, actually." Azula muttered dryly. Her mouth felt like it was covered in sand, but she resisted the urge to lick at it like a cat.

"No way, you were the perfect gentle… woman?" She laughed again. Ty Lee's smile looked so warm and sweet, and it was driving Azula slightly mad. "You just confessed your undying love for me and dropped like a log. It was kind of nice actually."

Ty Lee's warm little fingers had worked themselves up to get entangled in Azula's hairline. She began a deliriously wonderful stroking motion with her fingers, starting at the point of her hairline, along the edge of her forehead, down her temples, and dangerously close to her ear. Over and over again, every once and a while just slightly dragging her nail across the surface of her skin.

Azula closed her eyes reflexively and sighed, leaning into the gentle caring touch.

"I sure hope you're lying." Azula whispered in a breathy fashion, barely aware of her words. Just focusing on the wonderful touch of Ty Lee's hand. Up and down, soft, like a mother's touch should be.

"Nope. I believe your exact words were 'Ty Lee, I'm utterly and completely taken with you.'" She giggled girlishly and stopped her movement for a moment. "Then you looked me right in the eye and put your hands on the sides of my face. Like this." Ty Lee settled her whole palm over the side of Azula's face, effectively covering most of her ear and getting entangled in some of her loose hair. "And then you looked at me for a really long time. You didn't say a word, just looked. Then all of the sudden you slumped over and passed out! I had to have some of the guys help me carry you up here."

Azula let out a low whinny sound she didn't know she could make. Wasn't she just a class act? She was so out of her mind nervous about having a date with Ty Lee she'd been wasted most of the time and had to be _carried _to bed. It was undignified.

She let her eyes crack open a little bit to see Ty Lee smiling down on her. She didn't seem upset that Azula had single-handedly ruined their date. Of course that was Ty Lee, absolutely perfect and understanding of her every move. It was almost surreal how she just _got _her. Azula never needed to explain herself or anything. It just felt so safe and easy.

"You know, you're an awfully friendly drunk." Ty Lee whispered slyly. Her hand had retired from stroking along her forehead to cup her jaw gently, and just rested there, bobbing up and down as Azula swallowed hard. "And you kept touching my hair. It was weird. Just every chance you got your hand would be in my hair. I kept thinking 'Can't she think of a better place to put that hand?'"

"Please, stop. I don't even want to know." Azula grimaced. Maybe she'd avoid drinking anything again for a little while. There were too many things in her head to ever allow herself to be unguarded. Not to mention a possible death of embarrassment.

"You're so cute." Ty Lee lifted a finger to press on her lips, effectively stopping the protest before it even started. "You. Are. Cute. And it's adorable when you get all angry about it so don't even try."

"Now I know you're telling lies." Azula laughed picked her hand up to move Ty Lee's away. She had to fight the urge to put it back in her hair. To start up that wonderful stroking motion again.

Ty Lee's eyes came in contact with Azula's with a sudden intensity. They were still smiling. Big, bright, and beautiful smiling eyes. But there was something else. A very quiet not quite lustful look. She just stared for a long moment, blinking slightly faster than normal. Her eyes lowered shyly after a long moment. She was angling for something…

Azula smiled full and wide all of the sudden. _Ty Lee _was cute. What a girlish thing to do.

Azula reached up to grasp Ty Lee's face with both her hands, trying her best to mimic the position Ty Lee had said she used before, low back on the face covering part of her ears. Ty Lee looked curious but slightly intrigued. She didn't move just looked back at Azula with her entrancing caring eyes.

Then Azula pulled them together.

Their lips met with a gentle pressure. The feeling of Ty Lee's mouth was so soft and mind numbingly smooth. A man didn't kiss like this. Only the full lips of a woman could feel so yielding and supple. And only Ty Lee could suck all her breath away with a little fleeting touch.

Azula didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to move her mouth or even if she should. But that was hardly a care in her mind at that moment. She couldn't even think, let alone give a damn how she supposed to act. She pulled her closer upping the pressure of their lips together, parting them slightly just to get closer. Just to let some of her taste in. Her wonder, wonderful taste.

When Ty Lee had overcome the surprise of being kissed, Azula felt her mouth relax into her, and the stretch and huff of breath that accompanied a laugh. She opened her lips to suck Azula's upper lip into her mouth for a moment and drag her teeth lightly across the surface, earning a shudder in response. Her marvelous fingers found their way back into Azula's hair and half massages half pulled at her scalp. A feeling that wasn't entirely unpleasant.

Azula pulled away from her feeling heady and hot. Had she forgotten to breath? Her nose wasn't occupied was it? Why then did her lungs feel like they were about to burst? She ran her tongue around the surface of her own lips surprised to find them wet with saliva. It tasted like she smelled.

Ty Lee sighed softly and shook her head. Her eyebrows took on that wonderful poignant look they had habit to before she looked away with a sudden shyness. The contact of her wonderful little fingers broke and she leaned forward to rest her head on Azula's collar bone. Her breath danced over the bared skin there. Ty Lee held onto her tight.

Azula wondered why Ty Lee always did that. Cuddled into her lower down on her torso, away from her face. Was it just to torment Azula with the feel of her breath over the sensitive skin there? Was she cold? Was she really so shy? Azula lifted one of her heavy-feeling hands and place it on Ty Lee's arm to hold her to her. Ty Lee snuggled into her in response.

"You smell really good." Ty Lee whispered, her breath heavy and sleepy slow. "Kind of like smoke or cinnamon. I like it." The sound of her voice was so high and feminine with a gasping jilted quality. It sliced through the heavy damp air. Just the sound of it made Azula shiver. But she felt so warm.

Azula felt strange. She felt heavy and full and tired. The smell of Ty Lee was every where, so deep into her skin now that Azula felt as if it were engrained there forever. Or maybe just hoped it was. The feeling she got just laying there quietly with Ty Lee was so indescribable. It was heaven, it was paradise, it was comfort, and luxury, and love, and torture. Yet none of those things. Her chest was swelling, aching, telling her to do something but she didn't know what. It was almost painful, yet wonderful and strange.

She didn't feel quite so bashful any more. She didn't feel as uncertain. If this was what being with Ty Lee meant, she would take it. Compared to most things, compared to anything even this was heaven by a long shot. The most wonderful feeling in the world and not a penny to pay for it.

Really, what was there to be afraid of?


	28. The Eyes

**A/N:** Ugh. This chapter did not want to be written. This is like the third different version. Blek. But Finally it's eff'n done! Short. But done.

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**Chapter 28**

They'd been looking at each other all day. Azula had been trying to sneak little diffident glances any chance she got. Whenever she was facing that direction she couldn't help but see Ty Lee sitting there staring right back waiting for their eyes to touch again and again. Anytime she passed Ty Lee's table she'd even take the time to walk close enough to her to let their arms brush ever so slightly. It was such a silly little game they were playing, but Azula couldn't stop. Every time Ty Lee would take her breath away.

Azula found just the supreme level of want she was feeling for one little solitary person disturbing. What did she get out of a shy little look, a fleeting connection between their eyes? There was no real specific reason for it. Intellectually she registered that she should just stop. If she was going to be with Ty Lee she might as well do it like a grown-up rather than some little child with a crush.

They should be organized. Dates and things marking proper milestones relationship wise. In this way she could prevent herself from making any major missteps either towards Ty Lee or etiquette in general. That's what the ever elusive dating was, wasn't it? A formulaic thing with events and actions leading to a quantifiable summation. Not this maddening anticipation and magnetism. The yeses, the no's, the ups and downs. This feeling that couldn't ever be named. It's not even like it mattered any way in the end. It seemed as though any plan she ever made fell through in less than an instant.

Azula was starting to realize that some of her reasoning was flawed. The way she was approaching Ty Lee was the way she had always been taught to go at any problem. She'd look at all the angles, try to figure out all the solutions, just plain and simple try to make sense of it. She'd always been taught it was foolish to go into something without a plan, and she had always been such a wonderful planner.

But Ty Lee was… no, this whole thing was unpredictable. Years earlier she may have argued that there was no such thing as the unpredictable. Everything has to go by some set of rules, it only seemed unpredictable if you didn't know them. Azula had been trying and trying but could come up with no certain code to their actions, no reasoning, no final plan. She didn't know why she felt compelled to just simply be looking at her Ty Lee all day. It didn't make rational sense.

If she couldn't plan what would she do? It was dangerous to go into this whole thing with plans as flimsy and unreliable as she had. It conflicted with who Azula was and made her head hurt. All she did was think. It's what she's good at. What place did she have in a realm of emotion and feeling?

Maybe all the poets of yore had been right after all. Maybe this love _thing _was something different from all the rest. Maybe it was worth all the hype and songs and stories.

Azula glanced at Ty Lee and felt a smile tugging at her lips.

Ty Lee was just so… just so every thing. She had the most marvelous deep dark eyes that always looked so wet and poignant, like she was thinking of something really touching and heartfelt. Her eyelashes were so long they cast big dark shadows on her cheeks sometimes making her look surreal and visceral. Those pretty eyes were set just a perfect distance away from her full eyebrows, set high and flat on her forehead with hardly a brow at all to rest upon. Azula liked those wonderful eyes best of all. There was something about they way they looked that made her heart go all aflutter, with nothing to quell it from its flight.

She wanted touch them, trace over every contour with the point of her finger and look into them real deep until maybe she could see what ever lay beyond her entrancing stare. She wanted to feel the flutter of Ty Lee's long spidery eyelashes against every aching inch of her skin, as it felt as though it were already crawling to greet her.

That's not all though. She loved every little thing about Ty Lee. Azula loved her disgustingly pale pink lips, her little turned-up nose, the almost unnoticeable dusting of ashy light freckles on her nose. She loved how she almost never had to explain something that really really mattered, and how frustrated Ty Lee looked when Azula would explain to her something that didn't. She loved how happy and beautiful and gentle and fun every thing in the world seemed when they were together. Azula loved most of all that she herself could be seen as something good through such magnificently wonderful eyes.

The whys of such thing didn't seem to matter so much any more.

Azula must have held the gaze quite a bit longer than she'd intended. Ty Lee eyes flashed daringly across the room, making Azula blink in response. There was a definite look there for her, accompanied with a little surreptitious grin. Azula let her fingers clench against the surface of the pass station unconsciously at the recognition.

Ty Lee spun to her feet animatedly, her robes and long braided hair quavering with the motion. Her little tea cup was still filled to the top with a honey-colored liquid but it was left forgotten and alone as Ty Lee took a long stride away from her table. Her hips had a derisive swing and her face took a look of cunning. Their eyes stayed locked on one another stubbornly.

Azula stood completely still. Her eyes followed the way Ty Lee walked predatorily. Ty Lee had habit to put on a look some times like she were the one stalking about, but Azula knew it was only her who was preying, taking advantage, thinking thoughts that she shouldn't. It had always been that way after all.

Ty Lee stopped with at least a foot between them. She gave almost a mocking sort of laugh deep in her throat, then stayed herself for a long moment.

With a quick jab she forced Azula to take a step back so she could scale the counter top and reach the other side with nothing in between them. Something she knew Azula discouraged but she continued to do time and time again.

Her flexible fingers took hold of Azula's wrists lightly then trailed the touch slowly up her arms to her tense shoulders only to grasp there tightly and forcibly shove her again behind the shadow of the wall dividing the kitchen and the common room. Azula was less than pleased with being pushed around but she allowed it only because it was Ty Lee who was doing the pushing.

Azula felt cloistered as Ty Lee began to lean in close to her, to wrap her long thin arms around the hollow of Azula's ribcage and hold them tightly together. Ty Lee's warm tea-smelling breath spill over Azula's face luxuriously and the feel of it made her shiver.

Azula thought for a long time that Ty Lee was going to kiss her. There was a heartbreakingly soft look in her eyes that at the very least made Azula want to close the space between them herself. But Ty Lee didn't move. All the effort of climbing the counter and moving across the room and she fell silent.

After a long moment of sharing a deep look with Azula she simply craned her neck to lay her head against Azula's shoulder and tightened her grip. Azula allowed her self to breathe for a long moment before lifting her dead weight arms to hold Ty Lee back.

"Is something wrong?" Azula asked trying to put on her best concerned voice. It hadn't been used as often as other tones and sounded a bit awkward even to her ears.

Ty Lee shook her head wordlessly against her spot at the crook of Azula's neck.

Azula stroked at the back of Ty Lee's hair. "You're certain?" A little ghost of a laugh bleed into her voice.

Ty Lee nodded.

"Absolutely certain?" Azula asked into a virtual mouthful of hair.

"Every thing's perfect." She mumbled softly, hardly even audible against the fabric of Azula's work uniform.


	29. The Spots

**A/N:** Woohoo, updating at 2:30 am not only on a school night but on midterm week. Feels good. Bit longer chapter this time to hopefully make up for the last one a little.

Almost 200 reviews! Come on guys, we can do it!

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**Chapter 29**

Azula did not like dirty. She did not like unorganized or random or messy. When she had lived back at her home every thing was strictly ordered and put in it's place. That's just the efficient way to run things. Any other way wouldn't be sensible, and Azula was nothing if not sensible.

Her uncle however was a little more lax on the organization. He didn't live in complete chaos but he still wasn't as rigidly organized as Azula was. He didn't have specific places to put his soaps. He didn't roll his tube of toothpaste from the bottom, just squeezed any where willy-nilly. It drove Azula insane. So she made it one of her new missions in life to bring the wondrous joy of order in her uncle's life.

Azula cleaned everything religiously. There would be no little dusty corners in any home she'd be living in. No rings on the bathtub either. The tea shop she worked at would have to have flawless accounts of every transaction on the books, in a ledger, dated, timed and with a customer's name attached. She was scrupulous, determined, and some might argue neurotic.

So naturally, what with her on going animosity with the world, some dribbling little child choose today to spill a whole pitcher of red tea all over one of the shops expensive rugs. Her uncle was perfectly satisfied with leaving a giant stain in the middle of his shop, but Azula on the other hand wasn't. She worked in an Upper Ring tea shop, not some rickety hovel amongst the poor. If her uncle wouldn't send it out for a cleaning she wouldn't rest until the damnable thing was spotless.

After scrubbing and using seltzers and lemons and wild arrays of soaps on the spot Azula's fingers were starting to develop their own thin layer of dirt and grime. It stuck in the creases of her hands and obstinately underneath her finger nails. It was just one of those hazards of being common she supposed. That and the fact she couldn't grow her fingernails much longer than the tip of her finger any longer or they'd end up snapping painfully while she was doing one thing or another. She felt like a dirty servant girl. But at least she was going to be a servant girl in a classy up-scale shop with spotless rugs. She could control that much.

It was just past closing and Azula was still scrubbing. She didn't feel it was appropriate to go full force until all the customers left. Didn't want any one tripping over her or anything and creating more spills.

"You know I'm sort of thinking you may have unresolved issues with that carpet." Ty Lee's high voice cut through dark air.

Azula let her eyes flick up to Ty Lee in moderate annoyance for a moment, then went back down to her work. She was sitting inelegantly cross-legged on one of the empty tables, fidgeting, humming to herself, and watching Azula in a way she found slightly uncomfortable. Sure, she enjoyed Ty Lee's company and every thing, but she was busy and didn't need any distractions. Ty Lee had already thrown her life into enough disorder as it was and she didn't need spots all over the place to make her even more crazy.

"Don't you have a tram to catch or something?" Azula mumbled under her breath and began to scrub even harder. A day's worth of drying really hadn't done her any good. She shouldn't have let Uncle convince her to let it wait. When is "letting it wait" ever a good thing?

"Nope. All yours tonight." She giggled sweetly and tossed her head to the side. "Actually, yes. But if I miss it I'll just have you order me a coach."

"How generous of me." Azula spat with a snide glare in Ty Lee's direction.

"I know right?" She smiled genially and leaned over the edge of her table, letting her long braid dangle in front of Azula's face.

Ty Lee sighed loudly and shrugged. She made a few impatient sways side to side before uncrossing her long legs and letting them swing over the edge of the table for a moment. Her eyes made direct contact with Azula's as she hopped of. There was a petulant little look there.

She was sitting again, on the other side of their little pink stain. Her legs tucked under her formally dainty, the way a upper class female is supposed to sit, yet somehow she rarely had. The contrast to Azula on hands and knees scrubbing made her slightly uncomfortable. She straightened.

"You know, 'Zula, you're off work now. You don't have to do that." Ty Lee muttered in a high whiny voice. She plunged one of her hands into Azula's soap bucket, to swish around while she talked. Impatient little thing, always had to be doing something.

"That's how losers talk." Azula spat back with a slight glare in Ty Lee's direction. "A prudent person goes above and beyond. They perform all things that need to be done even outside of their specific duties."

"Sounds dull." Ty Lee made a face and plucked out a wet sudsy hand from the bucket, with her sleeve wet up to the forearm. She wasn't going to have a fun walk home in the cold.

A strange look ran across Ty Lee's face like a bolt of lightning. She dipped her hand hastily back into the water and brought it back out just as fast. She'd made a ring from her index finger and thumb that had a soap-bubble sheen glittering in it.

"Watch this, Azula." She blew soft against her fingers until a small bubble formed and floated a few feet away before spattering mid-air. "Did you see? Now you do one."

"I'm working, Ty Lee. Stop wasting my soap." Azula sputtered back at her. Ty Lee, geez, she could find something to do with a piece of string and an ice cube.

Ty Lee giggled sweetly and dipped her hand back into the pot. This time she leaned in, with her fingers all poised for action right in front of Azula's face. The resulting bubble spattered there.

"Try and do that again." Azula growled and glared at her. Ty Lee was just pushing it.

This time instead of blowing a bubble, Ty Lee cupped her hand and brought out a whole handful of soapy water. Her face looked mischievous. Azula stayed her self waiting and ready to pounce.

Then Ty Lee dumped the whole handful over Azula's head.

"You're dead." Azula growled, and sprung instantly to tackle Ty Lee to the ground.

She managed to straddle Ty Lee around her middle to ground her flailing legs. With her left hand she roughly pinned Ty Lee's wrists to the ground and reached her right over to the soap bucket. Azula began to frantically throw handfuls of soapy water at Ty Lee's face, who just squealed and wiggled around in response while continuing to try and buck Azula off of her.

Azula had never been very good at the whole playful _thing_.

Through a sudden burst of strength, which Azula suspected was the result of actually trying to fend her off, Ty Lee managed to have the hold on her wrists relinquished and grasped for Azula's forearms instead, if for nothing but to still them.

Azula hovered over her heaving. She wasn't quite as fit as she used to be.

Somewhere in her little water-flinging fit the air had changed. Azula stared down at Ty Lee spread out beneath her strangely. She had been so busy trying to distract herself with menial labor all day that she'd forgotten what it was like to be looked at with those wondrous eyes of hers. Those pretty large wide gray eyes.

Ty Lee herself had pinkened from the flush of motion. Her hair was quiet disheveled from its braid, sticking this way and that and coiling in an unruly spiral on the floor beneath her. A slight glisten of soapy water was sitting on her skin. Even the top of her robe was still damp.

The grip Ty Lee's held on Azula's arms grew slack under her deep stare, and she submitted instinctually to the look she was being given. It took Azula a long moment to notice but when she did she took the opening to grab again at her frail wrists, one with each of her own raw and pruney hands and pinned them again over Ty Lee's head and out of the way. She didn't struggle.

When had they become this? When did Ty Lee gain the immediate power to draw all of Azula's precious attentions all with something as small as a look?

Ty Lee looked up at her with innocent trusting eyes that no one else had ever truly given to Azula. Their flush noses hovered inches apart, breath mingling, creeping across each others faces, feeling cool and tingly against their wet skin.

Though Ty Lee was clearly stronger, at least now, she lay flux under Azula's complete and utter control as she always had. She allowed herself to be subdued, subjugated. Azula didn't question it much, after all these years the response must be so completely embedded in her mind that she wouldn't be able to rebel if she tried.

Azula softened her grip slightly. Her fingers were itching to touch and feel the body laid out before her, every silky smooth dripping wet inch. But she daren't. She'd had so much practice already denying herself this that it came to her almost instinctually.

How long they sat there in silence she didn't know. Time passed strangely for Azula whenever she was with Ty Lee. It could have been seconds it could have been minutes. It felt like both and neither.

Out of nowhere the two girls felt their breath fall into rhythm with one another, and like a trigger they fell together.

Their lips found one another like magnets and fitted perfectly. Her body knew just what to do with out her telling her. Turn head to the right, open mouth just enough. Every muscle in Azula's body felt liquid. She couldn't hold at Ty Lee's wrists even. It was all she could do just to hold herself up enough to have some control over herself. To avoid becoming part of a mass of clunking teeth.

There were millions of butterflies in her stomach and she felt just so hot and heady. Azula become suddenly aware how her hips were positioned over Ty Lee's, how they were pressed tightly up against one another and had to fight contradictory urges to push even closer or to pull away completely. She vaguely registered one of Ty Lee's hands tangling in her loose hair.

It really was unbelievable wasn't it? Azula would have never seen herself that night with Ty Lee on the tea shop floor even in her wildest dreams years before. But there seemed to be a lot of just really wonderful things in her life now that were unexpected and maybe even against her better judgment.

Things were running backwards. There were too many contradictions within her mind to count. This wasn't organized. This wasn't clean, proper, and thought out. But Azula could hardly care. For the time being this moment alone was enough to keep her going.


	30. The High Places

**A/N**: Life. Yuck. Sorry for the late-ish update but, yar. Life.

Probably the most dialogue heavy chapter yet, but it's short. Anyways, you've been warned.

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**Chapter 30**

"When I was a little girl I thought when you died your body would turn into a tree. Sounds ridiculous right? But no one ever told me what happened when you die. They'd say that someone went off to a better place or grandma's in peace now-- something like that. I was little, I didn't know what those things meant.

"Then one day I was really bored. I was supposed to be listening to someone talk about something. I don't even remember And I looked out the window. There were all these trees outside. They didn't have leaves-- it was winter maybe-- I just know they didn't have leaves. Because they looked like billions of little hands reaching for the sky, with hooks on their fingers. I thought maybe they were trying to go to heaven. I thought maybe they were holding the sky up. Maybe that's how the soul gets out. Your tree-body reaches and reaches to heaven until it can touch it and then, Boom! You're golden. If you were really good you'd get a tree that'd grow to really tall. But if you were bad they'd be digging your stump out of the ground.

"I told my dad that and he said "It's been know to happen". Hah. That people turn into trees. He said there were all these myths, that might not be myths at all, about girls turning into tree and flowers and things when they were running from a "pursuer". That's how we got willow trees. It was a girl once. I told him that I hoped no boys ever came after me because I didn't wanna be a tree just yet. I liked to move and jump around. Just think of how tired your arms would get if you couldn't move them. Dad liked that idea. He didn't want me to be a tree either.

"When my dad died, I expected to see a tree growing somewhere. I told my sisters not to worry. I'd find the tree and then we could talk to him again. Maybe if we were lucky he'd talk back. They didn't believe me. But I knew. He told me it was true so it had to be. I looked for a really long time but I guess the beautification committee's pretty scrupulous because I never found any saplings or anything."

Ty Lee paused for a long moment to gaze up at the wide night sky before taking a deep breath.

"Sometimes life's like that I guess. You can think all these wonderful happy things but what really happens, well, you just become bones and dirt and a name when you die. I still like to look at tree and think that there's someone in there though. That's a skinny tree. That's a tall tree. That one's bark is really thick. I thought maybe I'd be a pink tree, with lots of flowers, pretty pink cherry blossoms maybe.

"It's just I'm trying to say that there's this big difference between your thoughts and everything else. Like ginormous… No matter what you think the world has other plans. No matter how spectacular we're all just dust and dirt and a tiny little name in the end. So… make the most of life?"

Ty Lee shook her head with a muffled laugh. Her eyes were turned away from Azula, up towards the starlit sky. They were laying together on their spot on the rooftop, hardly even sparing one another a look. Just talking.

It was strange how easily Azula could talk with Ty Lee. With other people, she always found herself filtering things to produce any specific desired effect, but with Ty Lee she just said what ever was on her mind, not caring or even thinking about what it sounded like. Ty Lee it seemed was quite apt at doing the same with her.

Ty Lee was rather mystical, whimsical, nonsensical even. She thought very differently than the way Azula did. When Azula was trying to think of the most efficient solution to every problem, Ty Lee was trying to think of the most interesting. It was a trait Azula somewhat admired when she wasn't too busy admonishing it.

Sometimes she'd talk about how she'd swear the birds on her walk to the teashop were tweeting along to the Fire Nation Anthem. Other times she'd appear in the morning wearing only one shoe because she didn't have time to find the other one and catch the tram. She was prone to breaking out in song and dance at random intervals not even caring if someone was looking, and naming kitchen appliances so she could speak to them on a more personal level.

If Azula did any of these things people would think she was insane. They'd probably lock her up again in some asylum and feed her gruel for the rest of her days. But on Ty Lee it was endearing. It was cute. It was normal. And Azula found herself too falling under her spell.

"Do the trees talk to you?" Azula asked incredulously, receiving a playful swat on her arm.

"Don't be ridiculous. Talking's for people. Spirits of the dead don't even need words I don't think. _And _I told you I don't believe that anymore. I've lost my innocence." Ty Lee sighed and shrugged before shimming closer to Azula to place her head on her shoulder. "Where do you think people go when they die, Azula?"

"Father always said that religion and spirituality were means to control the masses, and that no one worth talking about ever dies." Azula spoke slowly letting the words run off her tongue. "But he also told me that the Avatar was a myth. If someone like the Avatar can be in this world there must be something to reincarnation and the spirit world-- what ever those doctrines spell out must be the truth of it."

Ty Lee smiled brightly and snuggled into Azula's shoulder, despite the fact she couldn't possibly be cold under her hideously huge coat. Urgh. Maybe Azula would buy her a new one as a present, just to get her to stop wearing the damn thing.

"You know why you're supposed to burn offerings like incense and money on rooftops and big hills?" Ty Lee muttered distantly. Her little reddened nose was buried deeply into Azula's shoulder muffling her voice in a seductive drowsy manner. She leaned into the touch reflexively.

Azula shook her head, muted.

Time and time again Azula had seen her Uncle burning incense. It sometimes he'd burn in their apartment or in the tea shop. She didn't know the rules of such things however and wouldn't question someone like Ty Lee about it. All she knew was that she liked the smell of burning soapy smelling wood. It was one of her uncle's better idiosyncrasies, unlike drowning himself and any willing victims in gallons of tea.

"It's closer to the heavens up here." Ty Lee turned towards the sky suddenly. "Less distance for the smoke to travel. Or prayers. Or thoughts."

"I don't like the idea of someone listening to my thoughts." Azula scoffed. Ty Lee and her spirituality.

"I don't mean it like that. I mean that this is a special place. Even if you don't believe in those sorts of things, you know that much don't you? This is your place, our place." Ty Lee sighed after seeing Azula unresponsive. "Can it be then? No spirits or anything, can this be _our_ place?"

Azula shirked away from her reflexively.

"What do you mean 'our place'? I don't even-- No! No, to what ever you are talking about." Azula stammered. Coupley things. IF she wants a place the next thing she'll want is a song or a kitten or something.

But wait… Were they? Were they a straw sharing, googly-eyed couple? When had that happened? Azula never wanted to be part of any sort of equalitarian thing, she just wanted to… screw her or something. It sounded a little low class to her but that was all she wanted. No relationship.

If they were a couple they'd have to talk about things, and she'd have to tell Ty Lee she was pretty all the time and… Surely there had to be something bad in there. Azula had shied away from the idea of being with someone all her life simply for the distaste of it, but really what was so bad? Maybe being with someone made her weaker, dependant. Maybe it made her someone afraid to be alone. Maybe it meant she actually _liked _someone as a person. After wearing a straightjacket and being force fed by a stranger, this sort of dependant didn't seem so horrendous. It felt nice and warm and safe.

Maybe she actually wanted this.

"I-- Ty Lee, the whole concept is farfetched and ridiculous, but regardless, your can have it." Azula sighed as she bravely met Ty Lee's eyes. "If it pleases you, you can call this place whatever you want."


	31. The Sleepless

**A/N:** We go from long monologues to chapter with 0 dialogue. Woohoo? I enjoyed writing this chapter more than others for some reason, because the last few have been like pulling teeth. Maybe I'm getting my mojo back or something.  


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**Chapter 31**

Lost in the eternal realm of sleep she slumbered, completely lost to the innocent shades of dreams and nightmares. She was such a truly beautiful thing, eyes newer than a blue-eyed baby boy, everything seen with a childlike wonder and chaos. How could she be so different from such a creature and so the same? Were they not both women? Were they not both vessels meant to serve and nurture? That what she'd always been told time and time again in the past.

Azula felt so hard and masculine next to the sugary makeup sweetness and girlish chiming of a high female voice. Not for the first time she saw herself as something of a man, while not willing to even commit partially to the label. The woman that she was didn't feel to be of the same genus of Ty Lee in all her pink glory. But she didn't feel that either of these were bad things. She knew that she was apt to over analyze and dissect thing until they turned against her or for her or into whatever particular mood she was feeling at the time, but this felt natural and normal. Azula was who she was, no matter the warped methods at which she arrived there.

Before she had felt a particular not quite self-consciousness about who she was. Azula knew she was the perfect progeny, the perfect fire bender, the best heir a father could ask for. As she aged how ever she began to wonder if she'd ever be the perfect daughter.

Azula looked for round faces, small noses, maybe even freckles in women. She thought the ideal woman would be someone beautiful, delicate, dainty even. Someone who couldn't hold her own in bar fight, someone who gentlemen didn't curse in front of, someone with nails and fingers that had never seen the grime and dirt of a dish rag. But Azula herself was not so delicate, neither was Ty Lee for that matter.

It seemed abstractly like some sort of failing that Azula couldn't be enough of this kind of girl for her father. He would constantly lecture her on things like taking suitors, and waiting for who ever she was speaking to speak before she would. Of course she would play the part perfectly but being a perfect daughter was one of the few things that Azula wasn't "perfect" about. She was brilliant. She was powerful. She was not feminine.

None of these things mattered so much any more. For the first time her life, Azula felt safe to be whatever the hell it was that she happened to be. Whether that be a tea whore, a fire bender, or even that dreaded "L word". There was no father looking over her shoulder and judging her actions ever second of the day. There was no pressure. There was no guidance.

It felt like the childhood rooftop all over again. Azula was starting to feel like something separate from her father, separate from her beloved nation. Before she'd been encouraged to loose her sense of self to be a good citizen and soldier. But now she had nothing to be, no doctrines to follow, she was naked and alone and floundering.

No, that's not right. She wasn't alone.

Azula turned her head to the weight pressed up against her side. Ty Lee was sprawled up against her, half on top of Azula's chest as she had habit to, her hair spread out like a spindly spider web lithely over them both. They were laying still, side-by-side atop the frost covered shingles of the roof, Ty Lee's atrocious over-sized coat spread over them like a blanket, and huddled together for a small bit of warmth.

It was very dark now. Street lights were few and far in between, glistering off in the far distance like the eyes of peering animals, or fallen stars glistening on the streets. The little light of all those stars was all Azula and Ty Lee had to go by. They lit Ty Lee warmly from behind setting her outline aflame of white hot light, and slightly illuminating the points of her soft features.

Azula wondered if she looked like Ty Lee in her sleep. All calm and collected, sweeter than a child and twice as pretty. Somehow she doubted she could ever adapt any look so free from thoughts, as she suspected she was plagued and blessed by endless bouts of thinking and analyzing even in her dreams. Didn't matter in the least though. Ty Lee's state of blissful unawares warmed Azula somehow.

With a strangely warm hand Azula began to trace the glow Ty Lee was emitting, taking the time to be gentle enough to not wake her. Such a beautiful face. The sloping points of her cheekbones, the slight hollow of her smooth cheeks, the subtle break into a tender neck. She ran her fingers over every plane and angle of Ty Lee's face, first with her eyes open then again with her eyes closed to try and memorize it by touch, to try and etch the wonderful feeling of fullness in the pit of her stomach with that pretty childish face. She'd never had the chance to touch it like this before. Didn't even the fact she had the trust to approach her in her sleep mean something to the bonds of trust that stretch between them?

Something in Azula heart told her to clamp down tight onto her Ty Lee. People always leave and Ty Lee would be the same. If she got too attached it would just be all the more painful. The touch from her fingers now would forever radiate haunting memories. That beautiful marvelous face would haunt her dreams.

Was that a risk she was willing to take? Was that a price she was willing to pay?

As if there were a choice anymore. As if Azula could just walk away now. She was in too deep. She was too infatuated down to the core. She was stricken by puppy love like a blushing school girl innocent to the pain people can bring one another. This was it.

As Azula's fingers brushed lightly over feathery black eye lashes her own eye flickered open to see large dark eyes gazing back at her. Even in the dark she could see them, was drawn to them. For all the beauty that was that face, there was nothing more entrancing than her wonderful caring eyes. Only those eyes could ever look at someone such as Azula with such caring. She saw a look there that she'd often seen before but only in other people. Such a wonderful, wonderful look.

Neither of them spoke a word. The darkness hung heavy like a vow of silence ushering the girls into a sleeplike quiet. Ty Lee stared at Azula with her bleary eyes only to have Azula boldly hold her gaze back.

How long they'd stayed like that she didn't know. It seemed like just a fraction of a moment but the sun began to light the sky behind them ominously, little by little filtering the sky with love before it appeared itself.

Is this what being with her really meant? This light, this fire, and warmth in her stomach? It felt like everything and nothing, it was confounding, confusing, and all twisted up. There should've been a word to call the feeling, but there was nothing. There should have been something she could say or do or thing to satisfy it. But she was restless and on edge and just simply enamored.

How could Ty Lee do this? Just a look. Just a few little words. How could she light her on fire like this? How could she make her feel strong and infinite but at the same time insignificant and weak? Azula was trying so hard to understand but there was nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Everything that came to her mind sounded dull and pointless. All words felt dull and lame. This was infamy. This was order. This was chaos. This was bliss and hell and marvelously sugar sweet pain.

Azula wanted so badly to do as she always did. File things up and away into little categories until there was nothing left but facts and words and numbers. But she barely had the strength to move or even… or even think.

The moment in the waxing morning sunlight stepped out of stone in an instant. Ty Lee fidgeted and Azula breathed. It had felt so intense and significant but had passed in the blink of an eye.

Ty Lee straightened herself up without even a look to Azula. She brushed her hair back and away from her face, tried to straighten the wrinkles out of her clothes. Her fingers moved in long circular movements at the expanse of chest near to her collarbone.

Azula moved more aggressively in the warmth of the sun. She began to feel restless and her thoughts were chasing each other around in circles. Without even a thought she leaned into Ty Lee to hold her close, and felt her tighten in response then relax and embrace her back with her smooth long arms.

This was all that mattered. The touch and feel and wonderful aching moments in the aching sunlight. When compared to touching her, being with her, the thoughts and reasons of the matter seemed pointless and dull.

Ty Lee was just Ty Lee. Azula was just Azula. And this thing, this warm wonderful thing, was the only logical response to the two of them colliding.


	32. The Inn

**A/N**: Hey. Longer chapter this time, for some reason. Stuff actually happens here so that probably owes to it a little. I only ran a spell check so far so there is bound to be some really stupid errors. I mean stupider than usual type errors. Yar.

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**Chapter 32**

Azula suspected that she would spend the rest of her life waiting on something. She'd wait for the delicate boil of a kettle, the bleeding seep of fresh tea leaves, customers pondering their orders, and even lately her continued trips on the tram. Azula was moving at a pace so much faster than the world around her and sometimes she felt anxious with all the excess momentum. This was another of those times.

Ankles crossed, fingers intertwined, back straight and proper, she'd been sitting at the hovel of a tavern for at least twenty minutes. Just another long moment of waiting, only this time she was waiting for her dear, dear, Ty Lee.

The sort of womanly primping and priming, unlike some of Ty Lee's other feminine idiosyncrasies like her affinity for small fluffy things, was something Azula could understand perfectly. Azula her self had spent many an hour in front of her bedroom vanity brushing stray hairs into place, applying thick slathers of greasy paints and oils to her lips and eyes, and finely ground powders to the apples of her cheeks. She had to look presentable, she had to look just right. Azula was a creature who should be looked upon with awe and admiration. And how could any one admire her otherworldly divine self when her hair was even the slightest bit frizzed? She had to appear to be above such common trifles.

Still being late, making someone wait, was something Azula would never do.

It was getting later in the afternoon. Even as the days were beginning their slow elongation it still got dark rather early at the crux of winter. Grimy barmen were beginning to file in for their nightly drink, and eyeing her with fiendish delight.

How Ty Lee put up with living in the proximity of so many men Azula would never know. She was always going on and on about how they were like some big family and treated her nice and proper. Still they looked like nothing more than lowly lecherous drunkards to her.

Maybe she'd try to convince Ty Lee to move out. If she had enough money to buy herself fancy clothes she certainly had enough money to buy her way out of the pits. Maybe some place in the upper ring, so they didn't have a long tram ride between them.

A crowd of strangely quiet men was beginning to gather in the corner. They were speaking in hushed tones and looking her way in turn, with confused eyebrows and low hanging faces. The rest of the men in the tavern went about their business, drinking and laughing and swearing like sailors, but that little group didn't have more than a pitcher among them.

Azula felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle. She could almost sense some ill will coming her way from a few choice members of that group, a strong feeling amongst them so strong and intense that it was in the air, palpable and crisp like lightning.

Azula let a slight grin touch her lips, and turned it towards the men so they all could see and make of it what they will. Let them try something. It'd been so long since she'd had the pleasure of smelling the crisp scent of burning flesh, the thrill of conquering an aggressor. And, really, if she were _defending_ herself, she would hardly be at blame from any overbearing brother of hers.

There was something like a giggle from the middle of the group and a man in the garb of an Earth Kingdom soldier approached Azula with a deep swagger. His mouth was hideously twisted in a malicious grin similar to Azula's.

"Hey there, girly." The fellow slathered in a smooth deep voice, with a little bit of something fiery bubbling underneath.

He leaned into her real close and scrutinized her features inquisitively then took a step back to take in the rest of her. His eyes ran over her frame in an invasive manner, pausing too long at the wrong places.

"A - Zu - La." He intoned deliberately, causing Azula to shoot the man a confused stare. She wasn't still wearing her damn nametag was she? "Such a little, little thing. Almost pretty even. How very strange. I'd always expected you to be taller, stronger-looking maybe. But, I mean, look at her boys! Just a little girl."

He tsked and hawked around her to view from more angles, rubbing at the stubble on his dark chin thoughtfully.

"As much as I _love _listening to the psychobabble of barmen, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to reach whatever point you're circling. I haven't much patience for coy games." Azula brushed at her hair pointedly and cast the soldier a fierce look. Her voice took on a sharp condescending tone as she addressed the man like a child or slave. "I take it you have some sort of problem with me, _Sir. _Whatever for, I cannot guess. I'm but a humble tea server."

The man laughed at that. "Humble tea server she says! How fine that my own home has taken this _monster_ into its breast. All the blood spilt scarring it, and the very beast herself walks in unscathed…" The man shook his head calmly at first and they let the fire break through his skin. His voice grew passionate and angry where before it had been controlled. "Azula. Azula. Azula. That name has been engraved in my brain since that day, and that face, and those eyes. I'll never forget the face of the thing that killed so many of my brothers. And you have the gall to walk into this place, my home. This is one place that the Fire Nation will never own. This is one soul that will never follow under you!"

Azula sighed. Some little string or inkling in side of her was giving her the impression that she really should care about causing so many people so much grief. She looked at the strong jawed soldier, with his dark hair, tanned skin, and bright green eyes, he was almost handsome. All that hatred and pain in his lovely eyes came from her in some way, her and her father. Fine enough looking man and she had sent him through hell.

She told herself this silently, tentatively. She told herself that she should really care a little, but nothing came. Even if she'd murdered his brood in front of this very man she didn't think she would care. The feeling just wasn't there. There was no guilt or anything.

Intellectually she realized that she wasn't in the least bit sorry for her actions, and she wasn't sorry that people got hurt because of them. People die in war, things get broken. It's not truly such a personal thing. If this man's "brothers" died it simply meant they were weak and they didn't deserve to be alive anyway. It was animal. Survival of the fittest. The illusion of emotions just made people get all personal about it.

Still she wondered in the darkest corner of her mind vaguely, if she would try to scour the earth to make someone pay for hurting someone she cared for. Would she use the same arguments to stay her hand? Would they work? Somehow she doubted they would. Why then did she have so little compassion for this relatively normal looking creature in front of her? Why couldn't she even summon the emotion?

"Did I kill anyone you loved?" Azula asked curiously tilting her head to the side.

The man looked taken aback for a moment by the innocent pallour of her question. "Yes. Yes _you _killed everyone that I loved. I should have your head for that alone. Hang you from the rafters for everyone to see. Maybe then we can rest, and good men can be avenged by the death of a terrible woman."

The tone of the man voice had died down, however, and he back away from her a few steps. He appeared to be one of those softies, looking for some reason to forgive and forget.

Azula licked at her lips, "Did it hurt?" She pressed her hand to her chest, "Right here? Did it hurt in your heart? Does it still?" Her eyes lit up joyously. "Did it hurt to know, people you loved so deeply were foolish enough to die?"

"Y-you!" The fellow blinked furiously for a few long moment, then yelled. "Hey boys! See this bitch?" He pointed a thick dark finger at Azula, who waved. "This would be the 'princess' that took over Ba Sing Se and put a dammed hole our great wall."

There was a flash of eyes in her direction and a shuffle of movement.

"I think we should teach her royal highness not to mess with the Earth Kingdom." He sputtered finally, and there was a mutter of agreement throughout the crowd or drunken men.

Finally. Azula stood up with an obvious jaunt in her step, and put her back against a wall to watch the slow approach of the angry crowd led by her dark skinned soldier. She fell instinctually into a fire bending stance and was surprised by how wonderful and natural it felt. This was her natural form, sometimes it seemed more like she was bent and controlled by the flame than the other way around. Like the walking, talking, prim and proper Azula was just a mirage created out of pure raw heat.

She breathed deeply in through her nose, trying to gather a deep reservoir of breath at her core and letting it gather their and grow. Her sharp eyes glanced around the crowd with a giddy anticipation, only intensified by the extreme energy running through her frame. Every inch of her skin seemed like it was teeming with life, dancing, burning. Azula felt the familiar heat growing in her stomach, the raw and pure energy and moved it using her hand as a guide.

A giant grin lit her features as she could feel the energy moving thrillingly along her arm, stringing every sense along the way. She readied her self, grounding her stance and flung a long white arm forward with the force and whip of a viper strike.

Smoke.

Azula's grin fell instantly. Maybe it was just a fluke. She tried again, taking a much deeper breath and trying to control her thoughts strictly before moving through the motion to fire bend.

Again, smoke.

What was wrong with her? She could still fire bend. She knew she could. Azula lit burners all the time, and the flame would be her own strong icy blue. She would move fire around for the hell of it. She would warm her hands in the cold. This didn't make any sense.

Obvious of her plight the riled men in the tavern continued to move towards her.

Could she still take them without fire bending? Azula had been trained to be an expert combatant. She knew how to use a multitude of weapons as well as various forms of hand to hand combat. But that was before. Spending three years in prison hadn't done anything to strengthen her. Not to mention there were at least twenty full grown men, some combat trained, approaching her. Suddenly she felt small, and powerless. Didn't matter though, she'd sure as hell try.

Azula dropped back down into a defensive stance, covering her middle and having her hand out ready for attack.

"Hey! What's going on here?" A sharp squeak echoed through the tense masculine air. Some of the men turned around to see Ty Lee standing by the stairs with her hands on her hips.

Some men grumbled and backed away, but their leader the tanned soldier looked at Ty Lee with harsh eyes. "You're one of her wenches! The whole Fire Nation it seems has come to this very tavern today." The man turned towards a timid-looking inn keeper, who had been suspiciously silent throughout the whole affair. "You never told me, you were harboring two of the dames that conquered our fair city. I'll think twice before I bring my tithes here again."

"Go away. We haven't bothered you." Ty Lee mouthed and stepped in beside Azula and took her arm protectively.

The man laughed "What do you called taking forcible control over the entire city? What do you call the years of war and bloodshed?" He looked around to find some support but the crowd was backing away. It looked as though Ty Lee really had accrued some friends at this place.

There was a tense stare being shared between the soldier and Ty Lee, who stood her ground stubbornly and without a word. She looked so small and ridiculous trying to look fearsome towards the much larger man. Like a little wide-eyed dog barking at an intruder.

"Ty Lee, dear, maybe it would be best if you left for now." The old innkeeper looked at her solemnly with a knowing nod. "It would be best to avoid too much trouble."

Her eyes flickered over to the elderly man in an instant, "But we haven't done anything wrong, you know that!" They looked at each other for another long moment, before Ty Lee looked down and sighed, shaking her head. "Some air would be nice for now." She looked towards Azula. "Let's go take a walk or something."

Azula looked back towards her curiously. She clasped her fingers reassuring of her forearm, and nodded.

It was strange. Azula felt absolutely no remorse for any pain she had caused anyone. People were just instruments to get what she wanted and what was needed. Nothing personal, nothing too vindictive. But she actually felt a twinge of guilt at getting Ty Lee kicked out of the tenement she loved so much for some reason known only to her. Ty Lee was a good person who deserved to get what ever it was that she desired.

As Azula watched Ty Lee shifting threw the junk on the floor of her room, determining what to keep and what to toss, she felt restless and lost. Such a little thing, but it was shredding her into pieces. This was a place connected to Ty Lee, connected to them both. They'd slept together (however platonically) in that bed several times, in that very room Azula had first discovered the true extent of her feelings for Ty Lee. This stupid little room with no windows and no lighting was where all of this had started.

As they left Azula felt a strange welling sadness. The entire ride back to the teashop she was so perplexed by the strange sensation she didn't think about losing her fire bending at all.


	33. The Fire Bending

**A/N**: Azula can be such an unreliable narrator sometimes. Bleh. Bleh. Bleh. I only ran spell check this time because I'm lazy and I suck, so forgive any minor errors for the time being. Who knows they might even be funny little typos. Snad. Hah. Snad.

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**Chapter 33**

It didn't actually hit her that she'd lost her fire bending until they arrived back at the teashop. All she was trying to do was light a burner, make Ty Lee and herself a pot of tea, but the universe in all its infinite wisdom couldn't even allow her that. She'd been so busy fettering over Ty Lee and more selfishly her own role in her recent eviction that she'd forgotten the extreme weight of actually not being able to fire bend.

Sure she comprehended it idly. It was something she might have to deal with. Maybe she was just rusty or had a cold or something. There were just too many things to think about to deal with something that wasn't immediately relevant. She was already feeling worthless enough for getting Ty Lee kicked out of her room, now she had to deal with virtual impotence too.

Azula had always been a fire bender. Fire bending was who she was. Of all the weapons and combat skills she had been thrust upon nothing had ever stuck like the magic that was fire. It was such a raw powerful energy and it came straight from her. Azula was so little back then so controlled by everyone around her, but that fire, that living breathing flame was something that no one could take away. No matter if she was a useless excuse for a daughter never living up to her father expectations, or a twisted emotionless "monster", the little wavering flame was something that made her worth it.

She could do anything with fire. Any technique her teachers threw at her she mastered almost instantly, and then drilled it until it was better than perfect, until she could still feel the movement on her fingers when she stopped, and could smell the dark powdery ash seasoning her pale flesh even after she bathed. Her father called her a prodigy, her grandfather looked at her proudly, even her mother was impressed to look at her impressive displays.

When she was fire bending she felt like she could control the world. Every aspect of her life was always so structured and controlled. Every hour of the day there was some place she needed to be, something she should be doing. Lessons at nine, training at noon after a small lunch, remember to nod at any nobleman you pass in the halls, nails had to be cleaned, not a speck of lint, not a wrinkle on her clothes. But fire, it bended to her will, it thrummed in tune with her own heartbeat, it breathed her every breath. The fire was Azula set free. Without it, she was cloistered.

What if she managed to get herself attacked again? What if she got robbed or mugged on the streets? Would she be able to behave like a good girl and not get killed? Her arms were thin and weak after so long hidden away from the world. Where sharp long, defined, muscles used to be now was only skin and jutting bone. There was no way she could hold her own in a fight.

How in the hells could she even loose her fire bending any way? She'd heard of such things happening before, but most cases were caused by weak mental states such as pacifism or disobedience. Fire benders are trained to be strong, because strength and emotional abstinence are roots of fire. Her father had told her such, as had her fire bending teachers and masters.

Azula had certainly seen times when she was in greater mental distress than now. All the self-doubt and loathing and blame towards herself, towards others-- through all that she'd never lost any small ounce of her blazing blue flame, her power.

But she was doing okay now. She felt okay. She felt good and free and maybe even happy. Even on probationary grounds, in this place she was the master of her own domain. She could come and go as she pleased, she could think of her own answers to any question rather than determining the "right answer", and she could be messy and rude and idiotic-- if she so choosed. This was Azula in her natural state, why then didn't fire bending go with it?

Azula stood alone in the dark of the kitchen. Her small hands were pressed up against the cool marble of the kitchen counter top, her eyes glued to a small light outside the window before her. She watched it bobble a little and swirl around in her view despite knowing that it was a street light and was incapable of such.

Silently she wondered how much time had went by. Ty Lee was waiting for her in the other room. Eventually she would start wondering where Azula was at. She wanted to light a lamp, but she couldn't fire bend and they didn't keep matches. She wanted to make tea but she couldn't light the burner.

Azula couldn't think of a thing to do. She couldn't go back after so long without tea. Ty Lee would ask what took her so long. What would she say to that? She was so out of it she could hardly think of a good lie, and she certainly couldn't tell the truth.

Azula always thought before she acted, she came up with plans and plots and schemes. Everything flawless and executed perfectly. Now she couldn't even think. She couldn't move or think or act or do anything. She was such a screw up. She was such and a weakling. She was so worthless and pathetic and shallow.

Why couldn't she do anything right? Not one damn thing! She'd failed some other test without even knowing she was taking it. Again and again. How many more things could get taken away from her before she had nothing left? Was she being punished for _something_?

Her fingers began shaking mindlessly on there own, making Azula clench her fists in response to quell them. She felt her throat tightening to the point where it was painful and swallowed continuously to drown it back. There was a dull pulling in her muscles, like a little itch, that bade her to move, to run, to scream, to do anything. There way a yell in her chest that was quivering through every other part of her body begging to be let out.

If half a second she swung her arm in a giant sweeping arch to knock all of the tea canisters off the counter top. They smashed so easy on the ground they might as well have been made of glass. When the smell of the dried tea leaves reached her nose in the growing quiet she felt the need to move again. Not enough. Not enough…

Azula swung out one of her thin arms again to send their expensive custom made ceramic tea pot to the ground with a crash.

Not enough.

She smashed a large mettle sauce pan on the edge of the counter repeatedly until she could barely make out a dent through the darkness.

Not enough.

She began opening cupboards and frantically throwing all of it's contents to the floor.

Not enough.

She shoved the table against the wall and hit it continually with the chair.

Not enough.

She started hitting things pulling at drapery their dilapidated spigot. Jumping up and down on top of the crushed shards of ceramic pot.

Not enough.

She screamed frantically until her throat hurt.

Not enough.

Not enough.

Not enough!

Why was nothing she did ever good enough?

Ty Lee founded her there, roused by the noise perhaps, huddled up in a corner cradling her head in her hands. When she opened the door light flooded into all the rubble and mess on the floor, showing it for what it really was. What did all of this help her? She was behaving like a child who didn't get there way. This wouldn't change anything.

The look on Ty Lee's face suddenly made Azula feel very foolish and irrational. The quiet between them made her want to die. She just stared, mouth slightly agape at Azula, then to the room, then back to Azula again.

After what seemed like an eternity she walked across the floor, so soft and slow, the only sound the crunching of pottery beneath her ridiculously expensive shoes.

Azula felt for sure she was in for one of those looks. She thought Ty Lee was going to look at her with big _worried _eyes, eyes full of judgment and maybe even fear. But instead she just fell to her knees and crouched down in front of Azula, a weird and wonderful determination twinkling in her deep dark eyes.

"You ever feel like maybe it's just one of those days? You know, never should have gotten out of bed, or woken up, or walked out the door?" Ty Lee looked down to locate Azula's hands and gather them in her own, with a shy smile. She leaned in slowly to place a small kiss on Azula's lips. "You're going to feel like that tomorrow when Uncle sees his kitchen."

_What?_

Ty Lee adjusted her feet beneath her to tackle Azula into an impromptu hug. Her little skillful thumb began running wonderful little circles around and around on her back. Why wasn't she mad? Why wasn't she scared? Why wasn't she calling the police or something to whisk her away?

Azula looked down at her pretty face and drawn eyebrows distantly, trying to find the answer there, but still nothing.

"Ty Lee, I _destroyed_ the kitchen." Azula gestured to the space around them as if she hadn't seen it.

"What? Really?" Ty Lee looked back around the room with a grin on her face, then turned back to Azula to pinch her cheek. "You and your little hissy fits."

Azula blinked at her.

"Look, I get it alright," Ty Lee began with a sigh. "You're wound up into such a little tight ball that you're bound to snap every once and a while, right? And fire bending's really important to you. And let's face it things kinda suck right now for you. I mean you're stuck in the Earth Kingdom! As a tea server! Can't be the greatest thing ever."

Azula tilted her head to the side to watch Ty Lee move her hands around as she tried to explain herself unconvincingly. She was trying to make Azula feel better.

"And you. You're here too." Azula intoned as flatly as she could, burying a small smile that was tugging at her lips. Didn't she know that all she had to do was look at her and things were alright again? "Not the greatest thing ever."

Ty Lee squinted her eyes and pinched Azula's side.

"Shut up." Ty Lee muttered, "You _know _you love me."


	34. The Massage

**A/N:** Sorry for taking a whole week. I go so frustrated with the original draft of this chapter that I ended up scraping it and writing what you see now.

I tried to edit but every time I went through I just ended up reading instead. I really need to get a beta.

* * *

**Chapter 34**

Azula figured that Ty Lee must have come to possess some sort of magic powers or mind control over their years apart. It was the only explanation to how she could make Azula do so many things she'd vowed never to allow. It was the only explanation to how she could alter Azula's mood with just a tender look.

This certainly was the product of something supernatural.

Azula lay face down flat on her bed roll, a pillow placed under her shoulders so she wouldn't strain her neck too much or suffocate, her arms spread out nice and wide so that they touched the woven mat of the floor, legs casually parted in an almost military posture, hair knotted high above her head and out of the way. And completely without a shirt.

It's not as though she hadn't been naked in front of Ty Lee before. When they were children they bathed together all the time. Even as they grew into their early teens they never stopped the ritual. It was just a common place thing to do, within their culture. Then Azula never even thought on what it looked like. There was no meaning to it.

Now, however, she was completely tense. Laying prostrate like she was, with not even a cloth to protect her naked skin she felt exposed and vulnerable. She couldn't fire bend, she couldn't throw a descent hit. Positioned like she was, Azula couldn't even she what Ty Lee was doing behind her. Trusting her like this took a certain amount of trust Azula wasn't certain she would ever possess, no matter how many sugary sweet _feelings _passed between them.

Even through all her uncomfortableness she couldn't bring herself to move away.

Ty Lee had suggested a massage. Not just any massage either. She was someone who knew the human body and the paths energy flows through it inexplicably well. Using this knowledge perhaps she could alleviate any blockages of flow with her skillful fingers. Maybe, just maybe, she could restore Azula's bending. This struck a particular chord with Azula, even if she would have to lay naked beneath Ty Lee of all people.

"Alright, 'Zula. You all comfortable?" Ty Lee leaned down to look at Azula straight on in the eyes in a gesture similar to a low bow. Her long braid hit the floor and began to relax in a spiral-shaped coil.

Azula shifted slightly, nodded, and haltingly motioned Ty Lee up and away. She was slightly fearful that if Ty Lee could see her face, that a small detour downwards would lead her eyes to the side of her chest. For whatever strange reason that possibility ruffled her. Hadn't she wished only a short while ago to sleep with Ty Lee? Surely that would involve nudity at some point.

Ty Lee moved up and out of view with a smug half smile, beginning the uncomfortableness again. Every time she heard a small shuffle or any sound at all Azula's mind would shift through all the possibilities of what had caused it. Instinctually she bristled at anything that sounded remotely like a weapon.

Eventually a shadow passed in and out of Azula's view, then a very slight pressure on either side of her thin hips. The sound of Ty Lee's breath had shifted from being beside her to more directly above.

Oh gods, Ty Lee was _straddling_ her. Azula clenched her eyes shut at the mere thought.

"Okay, so, I want you to tell me if my hands are too cold or if I'm hurting you at all. Okay?" Ty Lee asked a little drowsily. Her breathing was becoming much deeper and Azula could just barely feel it ghosting across her bare back. "I want you to concentrate on breathing. Just breathe in really deep, and hold it here." Her naked hand pressed lightly just below her rib cage. "And… Well, just relax."

Azula managed a shift nod in response. Breathing exercises were a steeple of fire bending. She could control her breathing even in her sleep.

Contrary to Ty Lee's warning, when her fingers began to spread gently, feather light over the bare expanse of Azula's back they felt warmer than they've ever felt, even going so far as to illicit a hot sort of tingling sensation on every little place she touched.

Azula had never really been touched much before in any sort of fashion. She never received any childhood hugs from her parents or brother, never any cuddling with a pet or close quarters sleeping with a friend. She could arrange for Ty Lee and Mai to have their own beds and even their own rooms when ever they stayed over, why would she want to share her own?

Because of this lack of explicit contact having Ty Lee's hands suddenly have free roam was a very strange thing. Having someone else run their fingers over her skin felt much different from when she did it herself. When Ty Lee touched her every nerve was set afire, the little downy pale hairs on her skin stood up straight as if chilled, and even her skin it seemed wanted to rise up to greet her welcome fingers.

Gradually Ty Lee's smooth sweeping touches began to get deeper and probe into her skin in an entirely different sensation all together. Her knees began to tense and brush lightly against her sides, and she lowered herself so that she was almost but not quite sitting at the base of Azula's spine.

"Are you always this tensed up?" Ty Lee teased lightly. Azula hadn't truly known how accurately Ty Lee could tell that she was trying very hard to keep still and in control her body. It was more out of habit than anything else, but had a certain ring of anxious anticipation as well. Ready to jump on the defensive if the need hit.

"I'm not tense." Azula cooed through clenched teeth. Her voice came out sounding much more pleased than she ever would have allowed under normal circumstances.

"I'm not going to hurt you, you know?" Ty Lee moved her fingers up to the base of Azula's skull and made some soothing circular motions there, lowering her head to Azula's ear in the process. Their was a slight brush on Azula's back that she recognized with a strange sort of horror to be Ty Lee's breasts.

"I k-know that." Azula stuttered, wiggling a little anxiously, but only managing to _rub _up against her masseur's chest. Her face was turning red and she knew there was know way Ty Lee wouldn't notice. "It's not as though you could any way."

Ty Lee laughed lightly, before leaning into Azula's shoulder to touch her forehead there. "Relax," she breathed heartily over Azula's skin, "Just trust me and relax. Let me help."

Her smooth little fingers squeezed a Azula's arm reassuringly as she lay a completely innocent kiss at the crook of Azula's neck.

Azula let her eyes flicker open doubtfully. Her face felt like it was on fire, her whole body felt so even, even her own breath felt hot in her throat. She was suddenly very aware of Ty Lee's body laying just gently enough along her back and all the heat of her. All she would have to do was turn over and that would be enough. No words would be needed after that. Ty Lee would know exactly what her intentions were.

But no. That's not what this was for. Azula had a serious problem. Yes, of course. And that's why Ty Lee was laying on top of her. That's why she was shirtless. That's why she was being touched so tenderly. This was not supposed to be about _sex._

Ty Lee rose back up above them, her palm moving firmly along her spine, her hips more grounded into Azula rocking back and forth with the motion of her hand. At first it made her even more tense, and as desperately as she tried to relax and hide how deeply Ty Lee was affecting her she couldn't for the longest time. Her heart was beating a mile a minute, the pit of her stomach was filled with a pleasurable aroused warmth. In her head she couldn't seem to disperse the image of Ty Lee rocking back and forth above her, clenching her thighs then releasing their grip.

As time passed her muscles began to relax. Maybe it was the magic of the massage, maybe she was just getting used to the idea. Instead of pulling away from Ty Lee's magic little fingers she relaxed into them and tried to drink up any little sensation they brought welcomingly. Ty Lee truly was wonderful with her hands after all. She knew all the right places to touch, or squeeze or pinch, and the sensation brought by them was one of sweet tingling relaxation, laced with deep rooted pleasure.

Azula's entire body was feeling hot. She recognized distantly that she must be sweating. Her eyes were starting feel as though they might water from the heat. Ty Lee had to notice. She just had to. But still she moved on like a professional.

It wasn't until Azula herself recklessly allowed a shallow little moan to pass through her lips that she heard Ty Lee respond. After so long of being unreadable Azula heard Ty Lee's breath hitch and felt the motion of her circling fingers halt for half a second. The realization that Ty Lee was being affected as well sent vibrations throughout her body.

"Ty Lee?" Azula spoke smoothly. Her voice struck a feminine note she'd hardly heard from her own mouth before. "I think that… This is enough for now. Hand me my shirt."

Ty Lee scrambled off of her as if she'd been struck and had the little piece of fabric pressed in Azula's fingers within moments, turning from her before Azula even had the chance to spare a look at her.

Azula had quite a bit of trouble fumbling with tie of her robe top. She even crossed the wrong side over the top first and had to start all over again. Her fingers were shaky, clumsy and blushing red. She still managed to dress herself eventually, however, and tapped Ty Lee on the shoulder to signify her completion.

As their eyes met, any doubt Azula had remaining that Ty Lee was left unaffected by their close quarters was dispersed. She looked positively heated. Her face was lit with a light crimson glow, her eyes looked dark and shy, her lips were covered with a wonderful wet sheen.

Azula thought that she'd never seen Ty Lee looking so sweet and endearing. She felt a strong desire to touch her, to kiss her, to look deeply into her eyes and acknowledge the thing they weren't speaking about.

How long had she wanted to please her? Now that Ty Lee looked at her so sweet and soft, so passive and submissive, waiting, why did she stay her hand? Surely she could have Ty Lee if she wanted. She was merely waiting to be lead one way or the other, a completely trusting body of flesh before her princess. But Azula didn't. Couldn't.

She didn't know why. Azula absolutely knew that she wanted her. Still maybe she was frightened, or shy, or something. What if Ty Lee were to touch her back? Would she be willing to allow that? Would she be able to deny it? Azula was so thin now, maybe Ty Lee would not like what she saw. Maybe Azula wouldn't even be able to do it right. Maybe she would be disappointed.

Azula looked down at her fingers pensively. She felt so pathetic and impotent and weak and cowardly. There were too many doubts and questions floating around her mind as of late and she didn't like a single one of them. Why couldn't things go back to the way they had been? When she was so absolutely sure of everything, even when she wasn't?

Ty Lee grasped one of Azula's hands in both of hers, doing all she dare to break the silence. Her mouth twisted into a shy half smile that made her look cute and young. The smile was infectious and bled onto Azula's face without her consent.

Azula lifted her free hand resolutely up to Ty Lee's face to cradle her jaw gently, a touch which she leaned into almost instantly, making Azula's heart flutter.

This. This girl was everything she admired, everything she wished to be. So trusting, so happy, so calm. Ty Lee seemed to know all the answers. Ty Lee, innocent, kind, Ty Lee was the only person who'd ever really trusted her, who ever cared for her. And just that, if not her, was so incredibly precious.

For all of her doubts and second guessing, Azula knew that much.


	35. The Break

**A/N:** Short chapter, but I ran outta stuff to say and got sleepy.

* * *

**Chapter 35**

Azula sat up straight and firm in the early morning sunlight. Her legs gathered beneath her tightly, fingers interlocked and prostrate, and her lips drawn into a tight line. For some reason she felt the need to present her self as strong, unyielding, and powerful. She needed to look at though speaking to her Uncle wasn't weighing heavily on her mind, as if she wasn't grasping at straws begging for help and guidance. She needed to believe that no matter what he would say, she would remain pristine and untouched by the grief or anger that was constantly threatening to boil over the surface.

The little table separating Azula from her old Uncle lay low to the ground in a style very traditional to the Earth Kingdom. It's surface gleamed with a polished wooden shine of white hot fire, glaring obstinately at Azula's face, contracting her pupils and setting her deep golden eyes like a snake's. Her blurry visage in the smooth surface of the table pleased her to umpteenth heights.

Ty Lee sat obediently behind Azula in a similar gathered fashion, alternating between running her small fingers through the dark locks of Azula's hair, still wet from her morning's bath, and a gold encrusted fine-toothed comb. She had been granted leave to stay with them at the apartment until she could find somewhere else to live. As of yet, Azula suspected she hadn't even taken to looking for an alternative residence and was quite pleased exactly where she was at.

Iroh took a long enthusiastic sip from his steaming up of floral smelling tea and sighed deeply before turning his eyes finally to Azula who had been patiently waiting, "That's quite a predicament you've gotten yourself into, Azula." He managed calmly before taking another long drink from his small porcelain cup.

Azula felt her eyebrow twitch in annoyance, "Yes, Uncle, I'm aware. Now, if you'll kindly tell me how to get my fire bending back, I'll leave you and your damnable tea in peace." She let out a smooth controlled breath. Somehow she knew she'd have to do a little dance before getting any information out of her uncle.

"Do you know who the first fire benders were, Azula?" He asked after a period of tense silence. Iroh's soft eyes settled lightly on his niece, somehow retaining the slightest jarring bit of amusement within their depths.

"Dragons." She stated simply, "Please, Uncle, I've went to school. I hardly think you can stump me on some simple trivia."

"Yes, Azula, the dragons were the first fire benders." He nodded blithely, looking completely unfazed by what ever Azula was saying to him. "How exactly do you think that they fire bend? What would possibly motivate a _dragon _to breathe fire? Isn't he already strong enough? I'm assuming dragons are even higher on the food chain than you or I. Why is it then that he controls fire, I wonder?"

"I'm not five. You don't have to speak in riddles." Azula sighed and looked over her Uncle's blank face. "Fine. I don't know. Maybe they like their meals roasted."

"Perhaps. Why do you think they taught humans to bend fire if they can already make their own cooking fires?" Iroh chuckled and shook his head. "Everything in this world is connected. Every life and every soul drinks from the same cup. And all that drink share the same blood and the same power." He paused for a long moment and looked Azula over critically. "Tell me, Azula… Where do you believe the _energy _in fire bending comes from?"

"The desire to protect and serve one's people. The compelling interest to better your self and others by all means necessary. The need to exert your will over lessers and create change by force if needed." Azula mouthed through her textbook answer quickly then paused. "And the anger, exhilaration, and raw passion such desires instill."

"Passion and desires…" Iroh lifted his hand to place it on the center of his chest. "Strong feelings and emotions here," he moved his large hand up to place a finger in the center of his forehead, "and here, become so powerful that they turn into energy and _life. _This is the source of all bending. Of course there are ways to enhance this energy and even to by pass feeling it all together. I take it your bending has not altogether stopped?"

"Smoke." Azula responded obediently with a slight nod.

"Then my answer to you is this," Iroh took one final drink of his tea then settled the empty cup on the table, "There is some passion that has died in you. Where ever the source of your fire bending was, it is there no longer. Not fully, of course, hardly anything is done with any sense of finality in this life."

Azula bowed her head slightly. Why couldn't her Uncle be more sympathetic to her plight? He was a fire bender. He knew how much bending meant. Still he spoke in his senile riddles with humor in his glazed eyes.

Nothing had changed. Even suggesting it was a ridiculous notion. Azula's fire had always burned brightly. She wanted so many things and had the skill and talent to achieve them. She wanted to please her father. She wanted to be worthy of her great nation. She never wanted anyone to tell her she wasn't good enough. These things made her great. They motivated her to keep training when she was so sore she could hardly move. Azula would never accept being someone's lesser. If someone else could do it, she could too.

That hadn't changed suddenly over night.

"That doesn't help." Azula spat venomously, shaking off Ty Lee who was passively stroking her bared shoulder in an attempt at calming, "Telling me all this useless information doesn't help! If you want to be useful tell me how to fix it. If not stop wasting my time."

Iroh examined her for a moment then sighed, "I can't tell you that. This is something within yourself-- a problem of the heart. My advice to you would be to analyze the source from which you've drawn your energy in the past, and either restore it or find something to replace it."

"That's the issue. Don't you see?" Azula sighed and brought her hand up to rub at her temples. "Nothing has changed. I'm the only thing that's been left undamaged through all this Avatar mess. It seems more and more everyday that the world is moving all around me, forward and backwards, and I just stand still watching them."

A warm smile spread across Iroh's pale wrinkled face, "No, my dear, you've been moving. Maybe a little slower than the rest of us, but still. And it's been forward for certain." Azula scoffed, "It's a good thing."

Azula was getting fed up with listening to Uncle. He really was an old senile moron. Sometimes what he was saying almost sounded wise, but Azula suspected it had more to do with how he was saying it than what he was saying. Old people always sound like they know what they're talking about. As long as they still have all their teeth any way.

Rather than admitting that he either had no idea what was wrong with her, or that he was far too amused by her predicament to care, he would spout a mountain of bullshit and then laugh as she floundered. Well Azula wouldn't have it. There was nothing she couldn't handle. Maybe she was just a little off her game after three long years of imprisonment, but she wasn't dead yet.

Azula did not need help and she did not need advice. She didn't need anything.

"Azula?" Ty Lee's soft voice cut through the tense air Azula was exuding. She leaned in to hover over Azula's shoulder. "Maybe it'd be good to just not think about it for a while. Just take a break, you know, from fire bending. It's not like you use it much any way."

"What?" Azula whipped her head around to face Ty Lee, "Did you seriously just say that? I'm a fire bender, Ty Lee! What if I get attacked again? I need… Damn it! I'm sick and tired of feeling so weak."

"But you're not weak! You're the strongest person I know, and that's got nothing to do with fire bending." Ty Lee bit at her lip and back away from her a little, eyes cast down to her knees.

"Listen, Azula, your little friend is right. Whether it's your choice or not you may be without fire bending for a while. Buy yourself a nice weapon. Use this as an opportunity to better your body" Iroh spoke softly patting Ty Lee on the hand with a small smile. "Maybe you'll find your answer with time maybe not, but until then yelling and resigning yourself will not get you anywhere."

Azula bowed her head lightly turning back towards her uncle and away from Ty Lee. She didn't like this situation. She more than disliked it, she wanted to claw her eyes out. She felt like a disappointment, a weakness, a failure. The princess Azula was supposed to be above and beyond such things. But her Uncle was right. At the moment she had no choice in the matter. She could either head into her down fall, shoulders back head held high with dignity or she could whine and kick and scream.

Somehow the "right" answer didn't feel as satisfying.


	36. The Fitting

**A/N:** Topless Azula! Just kidding. Or am I?

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**Chapter 36**

"Hmm…" Ty Lee mumbled deep within her throat as she circled Azula for the third time, her slender hands moving drowsily to the thick belt around her waist and tucking an experimental finger easily beneath it. She tugged lightly to feel the material stretch and contort to the intrusion of her finger, while on the other side of the fabric Azula's stomach retreated on reflex.

With the same deep purposeful look on her face Ty Lee pulled in even closer until her sweet warm breath was wisping over Azula's skin in heady flickers and the air between them became wet and warm from the close contact, their body shared heat. Ty Lee moved her hand to lay a spread palm flat against the hollow of Azula's stomach beneath her makeshift beltline. It moved with her. Every rise and fall of breath, holding fast to Azula's breathing pace, firm but light enough for the desire for a harsher grasp to ebb on the corners of that remained of Azula's fogged-over mind.

Ty Lee began to move then, dragging her pressed hand around the small of Azula's waist with a tantalizingly slow solid movement. Her pretty head stayed leaning over the line of Azula's drawn shoulders as she breathed, open-mouthed, over the barely covered skin that lay there. Still oblivious to the affect of her touch, Ty Lee's face was set curious and focused, looking at the planes of Azula's body like a blueprint rather than living breathing flesh. Yet still Azula felt herself flush being examined under those eyes and touched so casually, without shame or recognition, like a child.

A gentle sigh seeped out of Ty Lee's neatly pinched lips as she settled in sweetly against Azula's back, head lulling at the crook of her bared neck, hand resting soundly between a small smooth waist and a defined hip. It felt nice there. She felt nice there. And Azula wished she'd never leave.

"We're going to have to get this taken in." Ty Lee whispered directly into Azula's ear, her lips so close they brushed the top of her earlobe making her shudder. There were so many drowsy heady undertones in her voice it was easy to get lost in the how and forget all about the what. It took Azula a long while for her head to catch up with her body so that she could muster up a pathetic little nod in response.

Ty Lee let out a deep breath and pulled away breaking all contact completely and inching toward the seamstress that was looking towards them with a strange expression on her face. Her wrinkled old hands clinched together patiently as she set her eyes warily on her customers.

"Another couple inches around the waist and maybe the shoulders, please." She gestured with a limp wrested hand and collapsed down on one of the shop's divans while Azula was once again poked and prodded with needles. Azula and Ty Lee locked eyes dangerously over the expanse of the shop.

It was as if there was some sort of tense thrill in the air between them. Something vague, indescribable, and fuzzy around the edges but definitely _different _and definitely there. It felt like the too calm air before a big battle. When the crisp air is just rattling with electricity and soldiers are twitching, fidgeting-- too much calm for all the anticipation, all the energy. A time when you could read someone soul inside and out by the glitter of their eyes, the thrumming of their heart, and the sweat rolling down their bulbous necks.

This was a feeling Azula normally thrived on. She was not one of the pathetic creatures that shook in their boots at the look of an approaching army. She knew she could do no wrong so truly what reason was there to fear? Now, however, there was no certainty. Pain and humiliation waited just beyond the horizon, at the first lightning strike and clap of thunder. Ty Lee and all that she represented could be truly fearsome.

Azula straightened as the old seamstress placed a final pin and jostled her. Azula's dead weight arms were thrust out and upward, her doll joints bent and contorted to see if the green silk would not be harmed. She hardly paid any mind to her movements however. Her eyes still focused straight ahead on Ty Lee drinking up the air between them as she stared back not even watching the adjustments the seamstress made.

A few words drifted between them, Ty Lee and the old women, short jilted sentences of "How does this suit?" and "That will be all." Blind pleasantries between disinterested strangers.

All the while that sharp connection stayed intact. Contact never broken.

The old seamstress jostled forward yet again. Azula expected more needles and measuring tape but instead she felt the belt around her slim waist being loosened and heard the sound of her silk robes hissing lightly as they rubbed.

For a moment she stiffened, Ty Lee's pretty eyes grew shy as well. But no one moved. Why should they anyhow? They were just two women, shopping together for clothing, in anyone else's eyes. Obviously the old seamstress thought nothing of stripping Azula to her bones before Ty Lee. Despite the fact she must have noticed before that she wasn't wearing any sort of breast bindings. Ty Lee hadn't been in the room then and Azula thought nothing of it. Not so long ago after all she was bathed on a daily basis by strangers.

Azula let her gaze steady as she was striped of her thin top robe. An amused look ran over her features. Her mind ticked deviously. If Ty Lee reacted to Azula's state of toplessness in any way she would know.

She was torn into two halves. One half clung like a shy little girl. Shy about being absolutely _naked _before someone she had "feelings" or whatever for. What if Ty Lee didn't like what she saw? What if she realized she couldn't be so attracted to a woman after all? The other was intrigued at the aspect of a little game, a little test. What would she do?

The seamstress folded the shirt over her arm dubiously and then worked to help her out of her pants. Still Azula stayed pliant like a little doll. Her face however was alight. She couldn't help but allow a small grin on her face as she watched Ty Lee's face run from a light gentle flush to bright red. Ty Lee stayed almost frozen and visibly stirred for a long moment. Her eyes were big and wide and unblinking.

"What do you know, you're not wearing any clothes." Ty Lee mumbled shyly with a nervous little laugh at the end. She finally took her fall letting the eye contact break and became fascinated with the back of her hand.

As if released from a spell Azula felt her muscles relax. "Nothing you haven't seen before I'm sure." She mumbled with a small smirk, then began lifting her feet in turn so she could be striped of her pants. At least she'd worn other _under things _that day. "I seem to recall your being fascinated with the palace bath and joining me on more than one occasion."

"But that's different." Ty Lee moved her head up to look at Azula's face, then squeaked and covered her face with her hands.

"Really now, dear?" Azula laughed and began to look around the room for the clothing she'd worn in, "I do believe you were nearly fifteen at the time. How old are you now, again?"

"That's not what I mean and you know it!" Ty Lee whined. She still had her hand clasped tightly over her eyes.

"I don't know what you mean." Azula mouthed haughtily. She was looking all over and couldn't seemed to find her clothing anywhere. Maybe she'd ask the old woman when she came back.

"Things are different now…" Ty Lee mentioned quietly, her small hand dropped from her eyes and landed on her lap, where she proceeded to stare at it intently. "There's too much, you know, stuff."

Azula turned to her quickly from wherever she'd been rummaging. "Good stuff or bad stuff?"

"Definitely good stuff." Ty Lee said with a little smile. She raised her head again thoughtlessly only to close her eyes as soon as she realized. She was still smiling a little endearing smile though.

Azula smiled back at her knowing she wasn't looking.

"Sorry, Miss. Here's your clothing. We'd had them hanging so as not to get wrinkled." The seamstress walked in carrying Azula's darkly colored work clothes and a thick purchase ledger which she tried to hand over to Ty Lee who refused to even look at it until Azula put a shirt on.

She was almost reluctant to dress herself. It was nice seeing Ty Lee so bashful and out of place for once. It seemed like lately Azula was the only one ever lighting up like a candle and getting flustered. Knowing that she could have that affect on someone too made her feel heady and powerful. At the same time, however, she'd had enough public (well semi-public) nudity for one day.

Ty Lee began scribbling away and looking through her pocket for piles of coin which she still had the miraculous ability to acquire doing absolutely no job whatsoever. She'd wanted to treat Azula to a present of new clothing in exchange for going shopping with her all day. Not really much of a treat in Azula's book.

After she was finished filling out forms and cementing a transaction, Ty Lee looked back to Azula straight on for the first time in a while.

Ty Lee was right, things were different now and it would be hard for them to go back to the way they were. How many things had they given up to be in a "relationship" like this? How much would they lose after it inevitably, like all things, ended? There certainly would be no more taking bathes together in giant tubs, or squeezing tight under the same blanket at night. No, they couldn't be friends like that ever again.

Until that end, however, she'd have to live on "good stuff". Whatever the hell that meant.


	37. The Fort

**A/N:** Rawaar! Thanks for all the lovely reviews. I don't say this enough but I really do appreciate it. This is for you. *wink* *wink*

Oh yeah, and I have a plan up to chapter 44 now. Which is still not the end. I know what the ends going to be though. So somehow I have to bridge what I have now to the end and then I'll be done! I expect maybe 60 or so chapters. Rough estimate.

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**Chapter 37**

It was getting very late. Not an employee was left scuttling around like a scared little animal, rushing to put everything away so they could catch a train or get one more minute with their significant other before the sun came up again. It was just Azula who bothered to stay, sitting in the dark back room under the light of a solitary lantern and scribbling column after column of numbers.

Filing papers, looking at receipts, counting coins, archiving stockpiles of tea. Uncle had left for the apartment early yet again. It was hardly a surprise, however, she'd be hard pressed to find one night when her Uncle was stuttering off into the night early to leave his little teashop. Ty Lee thought he had some pretty young thing on the side, but Azula figured he was just lazy and didn't wanted to close up shop himself. It didn't matter so much to her either way, she enjoyed this sort of work more than anything else.

Many of the other employees at the tea house shrugged away from anything involving any sort of thought process what so ever. They were fully content with their humdrum lives blushing at the jokes of elderly men and smiling as they handed out tea with creamy white hands. Azula was precisely the opposite. This deep difference was part of the reason she didn't make contact with any of the other tea whores. She knew they were lower beings.

Iroh kept particularly bad work of his transaction forms. The old man was hardly a businessman, he'd only fallen into his own shop because of an oafish love for tea after all. Whatever he'd do without Azula to keep his papers and taxes in order for the particularly choosey government, she didn't care to find out.

Azula set down the brush she was using to pin countless sprawling numbers with a sigh. She wrapped the little utensil in a swath a lambskin and deftly covered the little tray of ink without much thought. The ink and brush to the highest shelf. The tax forms into the appropriate file. Fold up her table. Put it away properly. She moved without much thought or pretense, almost as if a daze.

The unoiled door to the back room released her into a world of sweltering darkness, a hallway with many doors. She stepped forward flooding it with a lonely light, an orange-yellow light. Her feet were the only sounds in the darkness.

Azula reached another door of rich mahogany wood to the common room. Trickles of light peaked out from underneath it onto her deep green slippers. She softly opened the door only noting the light dully. She squinted as she walked inside.

_What the hell?_

At first she thought it was a monster of some sort. She knew that it couldn't be possibly but still the thought jumped into her mind eliciting a flinch. A giant boxy shadow that seemed to emanate a warm dull light. It certainly wasn't a table, or an employee or anything Azula could name.

After a long moment without movement from the monstrous thing Azula took a tentative step forward holding her lantern forward to cast some light on the large shadow. Yet still she was unable to place it.

"Don't worry I won't hurt you." It grumbled in a poor imitation of a deep voice, laced with hiccups of high pitched laughter. Nevertheless it made Azula start, an act which she promptly admonished herself for.

"Ty Lee?" Azula snapped, half demanding and half curious. "What the hell is that thing?"

A flood of soft red light spewed from the beast, erupted in the form of a triangle with an identical reflection cast long across the flooring. At it's apex the dimly lit silhouette of Ty Lee appeared. Azula's own lantern cast just enough light onto her face so that she could affirm her girlish features.

"I built a fort." She giggled sweetly. It was so strange to hear her voice and not be able to see her lips moving. Strange and sensuous. "Join me."

Azula ran her eyes along the large shadow for a moment. It was a fort? How had she managed to get anything large enough into the teashop? And without anyone noticing? She was too curious at the construction of this "fort" to have the resolve to bite back and stay away from the childish thing altogether.

Working slowly, cautiously across the dark common room Azula made her way over to the dark shadow of the fort. Ty Lee had retreated back inside behind the cover of a large table cloth that completely covered the little building's structure. It was a dark rich green that only let out the slightest hint of light. Azula fumbled around to find the break in the folds.

After finally finding the entrance and worming her way inside Azula was surprised to find that Ty Lee's fort was comprised of nothing more than two large tables turned on their sides and covered with a large table cloth from one of the private rooms. All around the flooring were little cushions and pillows with a small fold out table-tray sitting silently in the middle. There was nothing on it's surface but a tray of spicy smelling food and a large candle burning low in a pitted vase of red glass.

At the opposite end Ty Lee was sitting patiently. The light from the candle lit her face a lustful red, half way between horrific and beautiful. She reached out a long arm to take Azula's lantern from her and blew it out to cast them both into the passionate red lighting. A smirk dabbled on her childish cheeks.

"I made you some dinner. Good stuff. Like they have back home." Ty Lee smiled shyly, her chin tilted downward and hands motion towards the plate in front of them. Her dark eyes stayed daringly on Azula's. "Fried rice, some marvelous cuts of meat, I even managed some genuine Fire Nation seasonings. Don't ask me how. They aren't particular about food that actually has taste around these parts."

Azula looked her over critically. It seemed like an awful lot of effort for just a little dinner. Ty Lee had to want something, that was the only logical explanation. What could she possibly want though? It seemed like she already had the ability to coerce anything she wanted out of her surroundings.

"Okay. So maybe Uncle helped me out a bit. Well a lot actually. He's a really good cook!" Ty Lee stammered on after getting no response from Azula. "But this baby." She knocked one of the solid table-walls, "All my idea. Do you like it?"

"It's a fort, Ty Lee." Azula stated simply.

"Yeah. It's a fort…" She giggled strangely into her hand like some sort of maniac, then looked back up at Azula with smiling eyes. "Eat! You're skin and bones. Like a… skeleton! I'm not letting you leave until you eat everything on this plate."

Ty Lee was behaving strangely.

"Why did you build a fort in the middle of my teashop?" Azula asked in a simple tone, completely ignoring the food in front of her.

"For you, silly!" Ty Lee smiled nervously then looked down to her fingers.

Ty Lee was such a strange person. When Azula was with her she did so many things she never thought she'd do in her life. Being in the middle of her place of employment in a _fort _was fairly high up on that list. Azula just couldn't understand why. Sure it was endearing and cute but…

"I just wanted to make you happy." Ty Lee looked up from her fingers to give Azula an innocent shy smile. "You make me happy all the time! I feel kinda selfish always taking gifts and living at your apartment. You… deserve to be happy."

Azula smiled at her. No one had ever said anything like that to her before. It was a little bewildering to say the least. Throughout her life she had caused so much pain she had caused so much unhappiness. Azula understood that, she didn't much care, but she understood it. How could someone as genial as Ty Lee think she deserved happiness?

With cautious eyes Azula scoped out Ty Lee's youthful face. She was just stupid is all. She was moronic and simple and kind and forgiving. Why would someone like her ever want to be with Azula? It didn't make any sense. She'd labored over this from the beginning.

There were no more ties between them, no more threats, no more obligations. If Ty Lee wanted to leave, nothing bad would befall her or her family. She gained no prestige by baby-sitting a fallen princess. She gained nothing sitting alone in a teashop day after day doing nothing but being there. Every day she would get older and uglier and closer to death. How could this be Ty Lee's happiness? How could Azula ever bring someone happiness?

She wasn't trying to please her. Not all the time any way. Sometimes Azula liked to do a little something to see Ty Lee smile that big bright smile of hers that made her chest tighten so wonderfully. Those little things were getting more and more common however. But those weren't for her happiness, they were for Azula's very own. She felt like she was giddy and excited when Ty Lee looked at her just so…

Was it the same for her? Did Ty Lee feel that way about _her_? Impossible. Azula had learned from a young age that she was very nearly unlovable, and had to make people stay in her acquaintance by threats and bribery. Even Ty Lee and Mai were hand picked and virtually forced to be her friends.

This wasn't just liking either. Was it? Azula hardly knew what liking or loving meant. Being happy when someone else was sounded like some fairytale ideal or the domain of good mothers so very unlike her own. But still it was there within herself, very existent and real, so the possibility such a thing could exist within Ty Lee as well wasn't completely impossible. Just improbable. And stupid.

"D-don't think so much." Ty Lee waved her hand aimlessly in the air. "There is some very yummy food in front of you. Remember? Eat, eat. Get fat and happy like me." She pushed out her stomach and rubbed it with a slight raise of her eyebrow.

"Whatever." Azula mumbled and picked up the pair of chopsticks poised neatly across her plate, and began picking at the little grains of rice dyed a deep orange by spice. "Do you want some?"

"I already ate. I've been out here for like two hours waiting for you." She mumbled and rolled her eyes. "I thought I'd starve to death."

"Somehow I think you'd have managed without me, dear." Azula snickered, and popped some of the fried rice into her mouth. It actually wasn't all that bad.

"Never." Ty Lee shook her head emphatically. "Pro fort-building skills can only get you so far." She smiled a big cheesy smile and gestured at the fort all around her, eyes lit up playfully.

"Please, I doubt you need any marketable skills. No job and your still managing a steady flow of income." Azula fiddled with a newly discovered cup of rice wine briefly before downing it quickly. "How is that again?"

"You look very pretty tonight." Ty Lee giggled and changed the subject, causing Azula to shake her head. "You always look pretty though, like a goddess."

"Smooth." Azula leaned closer to Ty Lee setting her elbows on the table in the process. Ty Lee leaned in closer as well. "But I would have preferred 'Azula, you look down right sexy tonight.'"

"Okay," Ty Lee bit her lip and tried to hide her large brimming smile. She hung her head low and gazed at Azula through a curtain of thick dark bangs. "Azula, you look down right--"

Azula laughed while she leaned in to kiss Ty Lee lightly on the lips. For the first time it felt so casual and affectionate, like giving an infant a peck on the forehead or a kitten. She hardly noticed that she'd done it at first, that boundary had been broken so long ago Azula didn't even spare it a second thought.

Ty Lee smiled brightly in her eyes. They were still too close for Azula to be able to see what ever it was her mouth was doing, but she suspected it was smiling as well. Just seeing her like that brought about the familiar feeling all over again. Her chest felt like it was about to burst. She felt excited and anxious and happy all at the same time

One little innocent kiss turned into several deeper more passionate ones. Azula had never really understood before why people felt so compelled to suck each others faces off, or "make out" as it were. It seemed so stifling and unsanitary. But now…

Azula was absolutely lost in Ty Lee. Her pretty pink lips were so smooth and soft. Her mouth tasted sweet and warm. Her little pink tongue moved in ways Azula'd never dreamed it could, things she'd never even thought of. It brushed lightly on the back of her teeth, and all over the sensitive roof of her mouth, flickering and swirling, going from wide and flat to thin and pointed in an instant.

Next to Ty Lee, Azula felt incredibly inexperienced. She didn't know what to do with her tongue, she didn't even know what to do with her mouth. Half of her felt inadequate, a disappointment, while the other half wondered how many boys she had to have kissed to flick her tongue like that.

Without even noticing the girls had managed to move the fold-out table that lay between them off to the side. Azula felt the burning desire for just more. A touch of silky smooth skin. If her brain had been working it would have come up with millions of excuses not to act. But everything just seemed so fogged.

Azula pulled Ty Lee close to her, her arms wrapping neatly around the small of her waist, dragging her fingers along it slowly as she moved, making Ty Lee giggle despite herself. In response she held Azula close as well, one long arm draped around her shoulders and the other stroking up and down the line of her jaw. Ty Lee lay a few chaste kisses there making Azula shudder.

Azula ran her hands across any piece of fabric she could find. The contours of her back and chest were just so perfect and gentle. She wanted to learn them with her eyes closed to be able to attach the feel to the image of her. She always remained careful however to stay clear of her breasts. Something which Ty Lee seemed to find amusing.

Ty Lee didn't make any move to touch Azula as she was being touch, but didn't try to stop her either. Instead she lay a barrage of openmouthed kisses over Azula's hair, face, and neck, and pressed herself so close Azula could feel the thundering beat of her heart matching her own. Every once and a while she'd stop to giggle or nuzzle her nose somewhere sensitive.

Every nerve in Azula's body felt like it was on fire. Things were spinning, the air was hot. She was trying so hard to put her thoughts in some sort of coherent order but couldn't. She felt primal, animal, lustful. This wasn't something she was used to. Azula was a mind. What was she if she couldn't think?

Happy maybe?

"Ty Lee." Azula mouthed somewhat urgently. She reached an arm up to get a hold of Ty Lee's face and kiss her once more, sweet and slow.

There eyes met intensely for a long moment, all movement ceasing harshly.

"You do make me happy." Azula whispered hoarsely before her thoughts could convince her to say otherwise.


	38. The Girlfriends

**A/N:** It's March. I graduate High School in May… I'm going to have to hurry up if I want to get this done by College. Once a week can only get ya so far. After this weekend I "should" update faster. I have a whole buncha artwork due for the State High School competition thing and it's just been sucking my time.

Haven't done a read through yet, so alert me of ridiculously stupid mistakes.

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**Chapter 38**

In the Fire Nation clothing had been so much simpler. Just a few ties, this goes there that goes here and the like. There had never been layers or little dirty copper buttons and clasps that never wanted to fit to their slotted mates. No, in the Fire Nation Azula could dress her self in a matter of minutes without looking like a bumbling idiot in the least. Clearly evidence that her people were by far superior in all aspects of life.

In the marvelous kingdom of mudslingers, there were under robes, sheathes of various sorts made of thick unyielding woolen compounds that tied in the back as well as the front and the side. There were even a few hidden buttons. Then came the drawstring pants overtop of leggings and wrappings. Then her top-robe. Then the absolutely pointless embroidered drape. Then the sashes that had to be just right over the drape.

This was only if she intended to stay inside. Traversing out doors required much more primping. Another layer of stockings, hide soled boots, her cloak, her cloak's broach-pins, leg wraps…

At first she would fumble clumsily with the flimsy ties in places she could never possibly reach and become drenched in wool-induced sweat, all whilst cursing and stomping around in frustration. Now, as sad as it seemed, she'd grown used to it. It became another on a list of acquired skills, another sad testament to her time away from home.

It was nearing spring now, and Azula had arrived when it was in the briskness of late summer. Almost half a year had past while she was pouring tea, tying up robes, holding hands, and kissing fleshy pink lips. It hardly seemed so long. It felt like just yesterday she was spending her days counting cement blocks and ignoring the constant barrage of people who would mercilessly try to speak with her. It felt like just yesterday she'd see the comforting sight of deep red hues and refined gold, so very different from the colors of the earth.

Being apart from such things no matter what she'd gained along the way, made her stomach lurch. Azula was a child of fire, being around all this earth was smothering her. In her Earth Kingdom robes, her boots, her cloak, she felt naked, foreign, vulnerable. This city could never offer the comforting embrace of her home city. She didn't know whether it was the colors, or the faces, or the attitudes, but even if she spent the rest of her life in probationary hell she'd probably always miss the capital city. The palace, her room, her clothes, even her father. They were the foundation that shaped her, they were the flesh that made her whole. No matter what clothes she had on her back that would never change.

No matter what _she_ would never change.

"Are you going somewhere?" Ty Lee cooed drowsily from her little bedroll, which had been placed unceremoniously cattycorner to Azula's. Her eyes were dark and wet, and lovingly placed on Azula. "You're off today right?"

"I just… want to check on some things at the teahouse." Azula sighed softly and crouched down in the dim light to look at Ty Lee's face. One of her hands strayed to pat at her sleeping companion's head stiffly. She allowed herself that. "Nothing for you to worry over. Go back to sleep. I'll be back shortly."

"It'll do fine without you for one day, 'Zula-- you busybody you." Ty Lee laughed deep in the back of her throat, husky with sleep. Her little hand crawled out from beneath the covers and clasped onto Azula's weakly, like a small child. Her fingers were warm and slightly damp from sweat. They felt so comfortable fitted in her grasp. Like they belonged there. "Stay here with me. Please?"

"You'll do fine without me too." Azula rolled her eyes when Ty Lee emphatically shook her head and squeaked in response. "Ty Lee, I _will_ be back in a moment." Azula wrenched her hand out of Ty Lee's grasp and got to her feet. She liked how easily her voice could slip back into a smooth commanding tone even after so long of being underused.

After all the time she'd spent getting dressed Azula _was_ leaving. She hadn't become so terribly subservient to Ty Lee that she'd just crumble at any stray whim or fancy. Sure, she was cute. Cute and warm and nice-smelling. But Azula knew the people she worked with. A day away from the teashop meant poorly kept records, undocumented transactions, and any other travesty those morons could come up with. She took pride in her work. One measly day would send her flawless ledgers into disarray.

Maybe.

" 'Zula," Ty Lee whined and made some childish thrashing movements but still made no move to get out of her bed roll.

"Ty Lee, you're acting like a child." Azula snapped but got back down to her knees none the less. "It's annoying."

A big sleepy grin lit up Ty Lee's face. "Can't help it." She whispered deliriously. "I guess I'm just selfish. Like a big kid. I want you with me always. Maybe it seems silly, but it feels really… strong? Important? Oh, I don't know the word. I'm always so bad at words."

Azula softened a little and reached out to stroke the side of Ty Lee's smooth face. She was so warm when she slept. It seemed impossible to be so warm, like it'd be painful. How could someone who wasn't even a bender have so much heat?

Ty Lee leaned into the touch placidly, her eyes drifting shut with contentment. This trust, this heat, was like a drug. She was warm when she shouldn't be, trusting when she had no reason to be. She was so brisk and flighty, relying on desires she couldn't even put into words. Ty Lee was like… raw and pure fire. Unpredictable, hot, and completely under Azula's reign.

"Tell me more ill-placed words. Just speak." Azula ran her fingers through Ty Lee's hair, relishing in the way it the downy fine feel of it.

Ty Lee's eyes cracked open. "I've been wanting to ask you something." Her focus was clear, her voice pristine. The change was sudden like an awakened cat, ready, alert, on the prowl. "Can't think of any stranger words, hardly."

Azula smiled briefly as she watched the peaks of Ty Lee's eye brows shift. First from confident and calm, to a pensive uncertainty. The look in her eyes didn't change though, not on any level Azula could tell. "Ask then, won't you?" She asked smoothly resolute.

"Remember, it's just a silly word…and I'm not even sure if it's even the right question." Ty Lee breathed in deep and loud, her wide eyes scanning Azula's face. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Girlfriend…

Azula with drew herself lightly from Ty Lee, moving her hand but not even bothering to move. What good would fleeing do her really? Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Girlfriend. Why would she ask that of all things? Weren't they-- sort of-- already…?

"I just wanna call you that is all." Ty Lee smiled nervously. She sat up in her sheets to get a good look at Azula in the eye. "I know it's silly, but… I just want to! Doesn't have to really mean anything. It's just another stupid word."

"Who are you talking to that you need to call me _t-that _anyway?" Azula furrowed her brows. "I have a perfectly good name. I'd prefer you use it."

Azula didn't particularly want to be someone's girlfriend. She didn't particularly like being asked that question either. It was just one of those nice little embarrassments she was supposed be avoid by being with a woman. If anyone was to do the asking it should have been her. Not that she'd even thought about it. It didn't really mean anything after all…

It just didn't feel right.

"I'm not talking to anybody. I'd just like to see you sitting in your little stock room, with your fancy pen and all those stupid books being all serious and think 'That's my girlfriend'." Ty Lee smiled big and wide showing the shiny whites of her straight teeth. "And, and I can be your girlfriend too. We'll be girlfriends! Just thinking about it makes me all tingly."

"I don't know, Ty." Azula bit her lip.

Now the idea of being able to call Ty Lee _her _girlfriend felt nice. It felt safe and possessive, like Ty Lee belonged to her. It was like some bond written in stone that couldn't ever be taken back. Once one's no longer the 'girlfriend' they're the 'ex-girlfriend'. If Ty Lee was that they could no longer officially go back to being just friends again. Not that she wanted to do that.

Then again didn't that work the other way? If Ty Lee belonged to her, then she belonged to Ty Lee. That's the part that kept sticking her. It didn't feel right. After so many years of bowing down to her father--

No. This was different. This 'belonging' wasn't of the same kind Azula and her father shared. She was his puppet, his slave, his _plaything. _Things were different with Ty Lee. She was just a silly little girl who wanted the satisfaction of a little word. She probably didn't even think the dark thoughts of ownership that Azula did. It was just a word. A word that made her feel good. Nothing more or less.

Her father was controlling her even now.

"Okay." Azula mumbled after a long period of pensive silence. "You and I, we'll be… 'girlfriends'."


	39. The Bath

**A/N:** Busy, busy, busy.

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**Chapter 39**

Even without her fire bending Azula was comforted by heat. It was a sort of life of its own, enveloping her, keeping her company, keeping her safe. Part of the reason she hated the winter so much was it's frigid feeling of being alone without the warm damp summer air to guide her. Heat was like a shield from bad things, a protector, a confidant. Lately she felt as though she needed those thing more than ever, yet was continually being denied them.

In warmth of her afternoon bath she felt as though she was being denied again. She felt the hot caress of the rising herbal scented steam, the scalding water boring into her naked flesh, the gentle sound of quiet a bath brought, but still she was denied comfort. Azula was so very tired of a lot of things. She was tired of feeling like she was constantly being pushed and pulled from every direction, she was tired of feeling powerless, tired of feeling dumb, and weak, and girly.

As spring was starting to rise high out of the winter a familiar ache was starting to rise in her, a desire to control and seize, a desire to bend her environment to her will. The winter had made her feel so lame and sluggish but just as the sun began to shine brighter and brighter, so did her resolve. Things were becoming to stagnant in her life. She wanted change and prestige.

The warm embrace of her bath didn't deny her this time and time again. The gentle intelligent silence didn't will her to being something that she wasn't. All alone she could have been anybody, amongst others she was a niece, a shop girl, a "girlfriend". She didn't feel as though she accurately fit any of those roles. They weren't who she was, they were what she was, what she'd been forced to be.

Solitude is a great virtue of the intelligent, or so they say.

Uncle had left them earlier in the morning to test out a little lakeside chalet he'd purchased from a pretty young heiress at an abominable price. Instead of leaving Azula in charge like he rightfully should have, he bolstered up a male employee, or rather the only male employee, up to the rank of supervising whilst Azula performed her ordinary duties. She wasn't used to being treated in such a way. Azula was the best at everything-- she just was. Clearly her uncle was not recognizing her for her greatness. She felt cheated.

Regardless Azula was greatly benefited by Uncle's absence. She was able to get through work without being forced to take a drink out of every pot of tea, and she was alone at the apartment save for Ty Lee, but Azula didn't really find her company as fraying on her nerves as her Uncle. She recalled once being woken up in the middle of the night because he wanted her to hear some "magnificent" cricket chirping.

With him gone, with the peace and quiet she should have felt calmer, more relaxed, but for whatever reason Azula was on edge. Something just didn't feel right.

Out of nowhere Azula felt something on the back of her head, and let out a high pitched shriek. She should have known better. Thinking such things were just baiting trouble.

"Oh, sorry." glimmered Ty Lee's voice from behind her, the slight pressure on the back of Azula's head ceased. "I didn't mean to scare you, or anything."

"I wasn't scared, Ty Lee." Azula snapped, then remembering her nudity shrank up against the wall of the large tub she was bathing in. Her heart suddenly began to start palpitating in her throat. "I'm almost done. Whatever you want can wait."

"I don't want any thing. Not really." Ty Lee's voice trailed off softly. She repositioned herself so that she was standing beside the tub and Azula rather than behind her and out of view. Her fingers made a drumming sound on the rim of the bath.

Their eyes locked intensely for a moment before Ty Lee looked shyly away to her bared feet, then fluttered back helplessly to Azula. Her face was slightly flushed in a way she'd habit to when she was embarrassed or bashful. Why would she be embarrassed though? She was the one who came barging in on Azula while she was taking a bath, yet she still had the nerve to be uncomfortable? Azula should be uncomfortable!

Still Azula couldn't help but think it was cute when she got like that. Ty Lee never looked younger or more innocent when her cheeks were red and rosy, her eyes darting around, her dark, dark eyes, pupils dilated large, and wet, her nervous little quirks of biting her pale pink lips, hiding her pretty eyes behind a curtain of bangs. Always moving, fidgeting impatiently.

But now her childish nervousness was tempered with something else. Something darker, almost lustful in nature. There was something in the way her eyes would look deeply and linger just long enough, how she'd run her tongue along her bottom lip so slow and smooth leaving a wet glisten of saliva, how her breath came in deep controlled drafts that didn't suit the hot air. Her pupils were so impossibly large, aroused even. Her hair was let down and crimped from being let out of its braid forming a dark curtain around her. It was messy and tossed luxuriously about her, framing her round face marvelously, seductively. She looked sweet and timid, like some innocent maid or baby animal, but still something lurked beneath her misleading exterior. Something surrounded with heat and licentious pleasures.

She wanted Azula to make a move on her.

It was such a female thing, a passive thing, a deliciously submissive thing, that Azula relaxed immediately.

"Join me in the bath won't you?" Azula beckoned carefully. Her eyes narrowed attentively and drank the girl in before her. Ty Lee made no move to deny her request. She didn't even appear to be surprised. Her large wet eyes scanned Azula's face for any sort of sign or signal before she nodded.

There was a long tense pause, eyes locked on eyes before Ty Lee began to undress herself. She must have noticed Azula had no intention of even making the pretense of looking away. Ty Lee had the luxury of having Azula's complete attention, her eyes watching every slow movement, relishing in every piece of gradually revealed skin.

Why should she even bother to look away? This is what Ty Lee wanted wasn't it? She was always becoming so shy and submissive about such things. Wanting Azula to do things without telling her what they were, wanting to give Azula that little inkling of control she so coveted.

She removed her top first, like a little child would, grasping the small hem with her fingers then pulling it over her head all together. It was such a small simple piece of fabric that it was removed as easy as that. No tantalizing ties and hidden button. In a matter of seconds Ty Lee's was bared to her breast bindings and slacks.

Azula enthusiastically played her role. While Ty Lee began to work at the tie on her thin slacks, eyes cast aside and blushing, Azula ran her eyes over Ty Lee's fit taut stomach, her little bellybutton pressed close to her abdomen, without an ounce of fat. Her waist was a small and delicate little curve contrasting deeply with the hard lean muscle of her fit stomach. Azula wanted to put her hand there more than any where else. What a beautiful, completely feminine body part.

Ty Lee's arms were gentle and lean. They tapered in all the right places, rounded at all the correct points. With their smooth muscle and feminine curves, they looked adroitly proportioned, absolutely perfect and touchable. The muscle of her arms gave way gentle lean female pectoral muscles, lifting the rounds of her breasts high. Just by the look of her chest even when covered Azula imagined Ty Lee to have a marvelous set of breasts, poised high and round. She tried as hard as she could to remember to some vague event in the past where she'd actually seen, but nothing came, she couldn't recall.

Slowly Ty Lee managed to work her trembling sweaty fingers through the knot at her waist. The cinch of her slacks loosened instantly, so that if she hadn't been holding it up Azula had no doubt the fabric would pool around her ankles in a second.

These too were very simple garments. It was almost disappointing to see so much flesh revealed at once. If Azula had planned this moment out in her mind she would have dressed Ty Lee ornately, stockings, lace, robes, and under robes, drapes even. Every little piece of skin then would be able to be appreciated fully and completely. Now with so much revealed to her she didn't know where exactly to look or which place she liked best.

Ty Lee had very shapely legs. She had marvelously, fantastically shapely legs. They looked so tight and deliberately strong while at the same time holding the feminine frailty Azula so loved. They were smooth and hairless to the point of glistening, so much that they looked almost as they were covered in some fog or haze to brush out all imperfections.

Just the sight of those marvelous legs made Azula's mouth literally water. She wanted to taste the skin there. She wanted to feel Ty Lee shudder as she did so.

Even more magnificent then her beautiful legs, her shapely breasts, or her finely proportioned arms was the almost poetic way they all fit together. Ty Lee's body was the picture of feminine, all curves and smooth perfection, yet at the same time revealing all of her strength and training, her finely tuned instrument capable of incredible things.

How many times had she seen Ty Lee wearing so little clothing before? Why now did it stand so wonderfully in her mind? Never in the years past had she looked at her friend with as much lust and selfish desire-- as much pride. Ty Lee was right. Knowing that that body belonged to her, knowing that they were promised to each other in the simplest sense, made Azula want her all the more. That beautiful, beautiful body was that of her _girlfriend._

The air held still and quiet for an immeasurable moment. Azula was waiting on the edge of her seat impatient and excited for the promise of simply more. Ty Lee was still wearing her wrappings about her chest and hips. Would what lay beneath such things be as marvelous of the rest of her?

Still Ty Lee made no move to remove them for the longest time. Her eyes would observe Azula then look away, over and over again in a seemingly endless cycle.

"Could you cover your eyes, please?" Ty Lee squeaked finally, under the pressure of Azula's fiendish eyes. Her fingers clasped at her middle, hands wringing themselves nervously.

That made Azula smile. What a girl really. What a wonderful, wonderful girl.

Azula leaned down on the edge of the tub, crossing her arms around her face, to block Ty Lee from view. The darkness there was almost as tantalizing as watching her undress before. In the deep quiet of the bathroom every sound was amplified, every brushing of fabric, every time smooth skin slid against skin. The sound made Azula's breath turn ragged.

It seemed to take an eternity before Ty Lee had finished undressing and settled into the tub across from Azula. It was a large bath with more than enough room for the both of them to relax and not come into any contact whatsoever. But the water was merely murky with bath oils and soaps, it wouldn't be too difficult to see what lay beneath it.

It was almost selfish pride and almost regret as she looked at Ty Lee. Her pretty face was flushed bright red and gleaming. Her eyes were lidded and permissive. She looked suggestible, like a pet willing to anything commanded.

Azula sighed softly. It didn't feel right.

"Come here," she beckoned while grabbing for a tiny bottle perched precariously on the bath shelf. Ty Lee blinked for a moment before wading across the water to Azula, her movement slow and timid, her long hair skipping along her path.

Then Azula washed her like a mother would and left.


	40. The Season

**A/N**: This chapter was being evil to me. I've been so busy lately and on top of that this chapter was just being difficult. Therefore, longish wait. Very sorry about that though.

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**Chapter 40**

The rebirth of spring was plaguing the Earth Kingdom like no other place in the world. Birds were flocking about, singing their little songs, trees and flowers were erupting from their winter sleep in a violent array of bold earthy shades. It was still rather cold, teetering halfheartedly between freezing cold and sweltering hot. Breezes were carrying the smells intrinsic sweet jams and candied fruit. It felt lazy and warm, like a river song, buttered rum, and sweet bread.

Azula couldn't enjoy any of the pleasures of the budding spring, however, she was in the dark tea shop, a damp rag in one hand, a dilapidated jar of floor polisher in the other. She should have been outside with her coworkers, beating rugs with sticks and washing pots in the fountain, but it was decided that her standards for cleanliness were impossible and she would serve to do nothing more than to aggravate and elongate the necessary process of spring cleaning. Wary of stagnant air and wanting to do something, she decided to at least do some work indoors, away from her fellow workers sensitive temperaments. At least she wouldn't have to deal with them.

For some reason many people had a strange aversion to her. She'd tried to write it of as a form of nationalist racism but it didn't seem to equate. Ty Lee was always talking with the serving ladies on their breaks as if they'd been best friends all their lives despite their differing origins. Uncle was always talked highly about, and behaved towards in a jovial manner. Yet for all her infinite talents, and undeniable good looks Azula found it impossible to "make friends". Somehow, she knew, it had to be their problem. She just didn't want to tarry over why exactly.

Didn't matter. These so called "friends" are highly overrated. Polite conversation and small talking are vapid and annoying. Azula's level of intelligence was species above these common folk. What would she talk about with someone who didn't understand the blissful little details of life that made it so very bitterly bearable? The whole situation was merely annoying.

Perhaps the only person she could've attached the label of "friend" to was sitting cross-legged atop one of the shops barren tables. Ty Lee had chosen to stay inside in the quiet shop with her. Surely she would have enjoyed playing in the water outside more than sipping tea and watching Azula quietly buffer the flooring, but she showed no signs of displeasure. Only watched with lightly amused eyes, an eternal smirk twitching on her pretty lips.

An almost palpable sense of calm had settled over them. The sort of comfortableness of a family sitting silently around the dinner table, or an old married couple knitting and reading the paper. Azula didn't feel like she was being compelled to search her soul for meaningless words for some meaningless rabble. In fact she'd never felt that way around Ty Lee. She was always comfortable enough to talk about what ever she liked, no dancing around, or words that meant other words, she always said just what she meant or nothing at all. Everything just always seems so cut and dry when they were together. Things just were. Azula could just be.

Even there in that quiet moment she felt the cool and easy simplicity rush over her. As hard as she tried Azula couldn't brings her thoughts to any thing philosophical, anything that would make her thinking cosmically worth the thoughts. Any small thoughts that passes through her head were little and dull.

"Ty Lee breathes like a beast through her nose," she'd think, or "The polish makes the strangest little rainbows."

For the longest time Azula candidly gazed at one of Ty Lee's stocking-covered feet, and reveled in how perfectly small it was, how absolute the proportions seemed in her mind. A round heel that would fit perfectly to her hand, and plump little toes she was so apt to wriggling. How did the fabric feel? Would her stockings hold their shape once she'd taken them off? Was she ticklish there?

Just another of the strange little Ty Lee inspired thoughts she'd begun to start thinking.

It wasn't so supposed to be like this. It didn't make sense. Azula was absolutely and completely entranced with some of the stupidest things. She loved it when Ty Lee wiggled her eyebrows, or lay in her bedroll all sprawled out with her mouth open. She liked the way she'd always forget her cup was empty and try to drink out of it anyway. She liked how pretty and cute and funny Ty Lee was without even trying. She loved she could make complicated meals out of nothing, but still claimed absolutely no tea making knowledge.

There were so many things! It was hardly worth the thought. The logical side of Azula's brain told her she was being ridiculous and none of Ty Lee's little habits meant anything, in fact they were actually annoying. Azula felt like she was being tricked or cheated. This wasn't right. Didn't she have a say?

Azula reached out to grab Ty Lee's dangling foot and kissed her gently on the inside arch.

"You woke up on the right side of the bed this morning." Ty Lee said through rosy cheeks and a flashy smile. Azula immediately blanched. "Cleaning get you all in 'the mood', you weirdo, you?"

"I'm… getting dizzy from the fumes." Azula shook her head quickly and rose to her feet. "I should look over the ledgers in any case. I'm sure they could use dusting or something." She hadn't meant to act so forwardly, so disgustingly. Azula was not going to let some woman turn her into a weeping pile of romantic mush.

"Oh?" Ty Lee looked over to where the stock room might be with an adorable tilt of her head, then back to Azula. "I was kinda hoping you'd finish up the floors in here so we could go skating."

Azula blinked, "It's too warm for any ice, Ty Lee."

"No, I mean skating on the floor. In our socks." Ty Lee stood up and did a little twirl, almost falling in the process. "We can have a race from one side of the room to the other. Or do some killer moves. Or dance! I know you love to dance. And there's got to be something neat we can do with floor polish…"

"I'm busy." Azula said with finality. She shook her head of all her fatal musings and resolved to get back to work applying layer after layer of thick greasy wax to the floors. She was still at work after all. No matter how determined Ty Lee always seemed to be to make her forget.

"Azula…" Ty Lee cooed sweetly, only to be steadfastly ignored.

Through her bangs Azula saw Ty Lee's feat move across the floor. She was sliding on the tips of her toes, making long sweeping steps, making long streaks in Azula's polish job. She pattered about aimlessly for a long moment mocking the twirls and jumps of ice-skaters and ballet dancers, humming a pretty song that sounded like spring.

Her long swirling footsteps began sweeping closer and closer to Azula until she was making circles around her, kicking up freshly laid polish on the ball of her foot. Azula tried very hard to restrain the urge to reach out and trip her. She may not have succeeded if Ty Lee hadn't suddenly bored of playing all by her self and plopped down heavily directly behind her.

"You're a dancer." Ty Lee whispered, her voice giggly and light. She was suddenly very close to Azula's ear. Her warm arms enveloped Azula's waist in a tight embrace, her chin settled on a shoulder. "You're always dancing around, going up and down, changing your mind, arguing with your self. It's just one of those weird things you do-- dance around everything. Only thought you might enjoy doing it for real."

Azula scoffed. "You're so peculiar."

Ty Lee laughed a little, her breath ghosting over the skin on Azula's neck. She lifted a slender hand to allow it to do a little tap dance on Azula's thigh. A cool breeze wafted through the open windows and sent her hair flying around them like a web. She'd left it down because she liked the feel the wind in her hair. Said it felt like a million little fingers.

They stayed still and quiet for a long time. So long their breathing fell into rhythm with one another. So long if she tried really hard Azula could feel the fluttering beat of Ty Lee's heart against her back, the pressure of a pulse in her tiny wrist.

There were no thoughts in her head, her usual internal monologue fell silent, the way it once had when she used to meditate. Azula didn't even feel the need to speak or move or work. Her head was humming, her body swaying lightly. All of her mindless troubles and worries were blowing in the wind.

At the end of the day, at the end of every thing, it all came down to this. A little touch to quell her nerve, a tight embrace to make her happy. Azula felt as though she truly was attached to the fate of a delicate little princess living and breathing love through all her orifices.

Was it truly so bad though? Was this peace, this feeling of contentment, and belonging something truly to be feared and shunned? Her father had always told her so, and he was like a god. To go again his words, to believe different than she had been told would be like blasphemy.

For the first time Azula felt as though it wasn't worth it. It wasn't true. She was unraveling at the core, falling to pieces, in such a good way, all for a little foot, all for a little girl. What had her father ever done for her anyway to deserve her love? Why didn't she deserve to be happy? Hadn't lowly shop work been penance enough for what ever grievous sin she'd committed.

Azula was done being a god. She was done striving for that impossible thing that eluded her time and time again. She wanted to worship and venerate things that deserved her attentions-- people that deserved her attentions.

All of this "dancing" was getting her nowhere.


	41. The Light

**A/N:** I feel as though I should warn you now, the next chapter is going to get this fic updated to an M rating. The next chapter, as in not this one. I'm going to make you sweat.

As for this chapter, it's inspired by a "magical" afternoon I spent at the lake. I've been wanting to put the idea into a fic for a while but just now found a good spot.

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**Chapter 41**

She must have been five when it happened, maybe younger, with pudgy pink fingers and sand between her toes. Her father seemed impossibly tall. Her mother had the smoothest skin in the world. Her brother never wanted to play with her. The world then seemed like some sweet candy-coated dream compared to the troubles of her current life. It was so ecstatic and easy and warm. Every person she met loved her, and she indiscriminately loved them back.

It wasn't the first time she'd seen the ocean, but it was the first time she had the opportunity to dig her little toes in the sand or hear the soft roar of the foamy white waves. It seemed so big before her, like some big silky blanket of blue, and she was a part of it, apart of a big cosmic web everyone touched. She decided then, once and for all, she wanted to live beside the ocean when she grew up.

When had she forgotten that silly childhood dream?

After leaving the beach that day, Azula scarcely ever thought of it. She got older, got more responsibilities and goals, to which living in smell of salt and sand seemed small in comparison. The happiness she'd felt there was brushed aside for other feelings. Accomplishment. Pride. Avarice. All satisfying to the tongue, yet so very fleeting. Being happy? No, happiness was just an excuse to be stagnant.

She'd thought of it a little once before, in paper-thin snapshots of a peaceful world. Sand the color of ash, water glowing so brightly orange every thing around it was bathed in it's light. With only the slightest bit of shame she yearned for that world once more.

Her heart was wringing with a nervous sort of hope as their train car rumbled along the tracks, she was positively fluttering by the time they'd reached the carriage. Her constant companion didn't bother to lend her a word, perhaps sensing the tense air, or maybe she really could read auras. What color would she be now? Orange perhaps? A mouthwatering tangerine? Maybe she'd spare a moment to ask later.

Azula and Ty Lee were going to the beach. Uncle thought it would be a good idea to give Azula a little break time after how very hard she'd been working as of late. Somehow she suspected it was more for the employee's benefit, who were growing more and more vocal about their issues with her. In any case, her improvident uncle had just purchased a nice private lakeside house outside of the city that needed to be broken in. They didn't bother discussing the technicality of Azula not being legally allowed either out of Ba Sing Se or her uncle's sight. Without precedent the old man seemed to trust her.

Ty Lee was barely reigning in her excitement, not even bothering to put on anything other than her bathing suit despite the relative chill of the spring morning. The entire ride out she silently cuddled up to Azula under her cloak, falling asleep more than once and grasping at her idly like an infant.

The bumps and jerks of the carriage had been jarring at first, they were going down an overgrown dirt road that didn't suit too well to carriage riding, but now they were almost comforting, numbing, peaceable. A constant reminder of where they were, what they were doing.

By the time the carriage had stopped Azula could already smell the lake. It was starting to get late, as far as they had traveled, and there was a sort of misty chill in the air carried by a light wind that rustled the leaves of long-limbed willows, and had the waters lapping serenely at the shore. It looked more like a small enclosed pond than a lake, not even a half a mile in any direction, with white sands that could have been made out of crushed diamonds and a moss-eaten wooden dock with nothing tied to the post. It smelled of nature, water, and fresh clean rain.

The house, although immaculate, seemed taken from some other time. It's bleached white boards were starting to wear around the edges, leaves had gathered and been left from the previous fall atop the dark roof, it seemed to groan and protest against the beatings of the wind. Still silken curtains fluttered about the windows, the front door was made of an ornate compilation of colored glasses, and little traces of gold foiling ebbed in every corner. It reminded Azula of her family's old summer house, overgrown and abandoned even by time.

Ty Lee jolted awake beside her at the sudden halt of motion, her eyes growing wide at the scene before her, not in wonder but mild disappointment. Her fingers were still clutching at Azula's robe when she whispered, "Aw, it's getting dark already."

Yes. It was.

Azula's eyes lit up with an excited sense of awe as her eyes turned back to surface of the little lake. The sun was setting and little by little an orange tint was lighting the water, so slow she could almost see the gradual inching movement of it. The sky mimicked it twofold, the sunlight hitting it at just the right angle so the clouds too began to light up. The world was becoming bright and orange.

Without much thought Azula stumbled out of the carriage. Her legs seemed to be moving all on their own. She was filled with a peevish desire to reclaim all that she'd lost so long ago, as if somehow it was hiding there beneath the surface of that water, in the dark silhouettes of trees, or the crisp light of the sun.

It was cold when she touched it. So much so that it sobered her for a moment. Allowed her to think of the strange impulsiveness of her actions. All of this meant nothing after all. Azula was all grown up now, and those fleeting moments of her childhood were dead and buried.

She sank her feet into the wet sand beneath the surface of the water.

But how magical it seemed, how trite and beautiful. For it must be of course, magic, for it to be such an impossibly beautiful shade of a usually jarring color. She thought maybe if she bathed in it, submerged her self and let the water touch every inch of her flesh that she would be whole again, that she would be happy again, that she would feel safe and warm and loved like that one little time in her childhood when all those things coalesced at once.

It was so cold! Her robes were getting weighted down by the water, her sandals sinking into the sandy bottom of the lake with every step and popping back out again with another. Still she labored on.

All she of her thoughts were telling her to just go a little farther, just another step. Before long she was running out of steps to take and began frantically swimming along the surface, dragging her robes along with her. She ducked her head under the water, rubbed it into her skin. She held a wet arm up to the light to see the bright water glisten on her skin. But she felt nothing.

Azula was a grownup. She shouldn't be thinking silly childish thoughts that had once plagued her as a child. Why had she felt so strongly that this solid unmovable thing could be her salvation? What a foolish moment of complete and utter--

"Azula!" Ty Lee yelped from the shore, even in her swimsuit she hadn't dared the cool evening waters. She waved with one hand high above her head, a big goofy smile on her face. The sunlight lit her up too, a beautiful, perfect, orange. "You're insane you know that? I don't want to take care of a sick person on my vacation."

When she was a child she thought it had been the beach that had been magic, the water that seemed to have a perfect unearthly glow, the smell of salt and fresh clean air. She was so young what else could she understand but what she saw. It was never the beach, it was never magic. Happiness now and then comes from the people.


	42. The Loveless

**A/N**: Okay, I lied. Not on purpose but still. The M rated bits got a little more stretched out than I entended so I'm breaking it into two chapters. This chapter is still fairly tame so we won't reach M rating until next chapter. Sorry if I'm disappointing anyone.

I've been working all week and I'm almost done with the next chapter so I plan on updating again by Sunday Night by which I mean 3 am Monday. AND sorry for such a long wait I was doing _a lot _of research. =P

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**Chapter 42**

There were little cinnamon freckles on her skin. Little flakes of lives lived and days spent under bright daylight. They made her seem so childishly innocent. When she'd first fallen asleep Azula tried to count them all one by one to see how many days she'd have to live to live as long as that gentle little girl had. But it's like counting stars, you'd think with determination counting would be possible. Numbers are too ridiculously similar and vision so unsteady anyway.

A trickle of moonlight let through their open window illuminated them deviously. Her skin looked so pale next to those minuscule imperfections, like how a dead girl would look drained of blood and forever blushless. Those little freckles were what set them apart, what made her darling Ty Lee fresh with life and the princess Azula herself a pulse away from dying. Azula hadn't any freckles, or warm gray eyes that smiled with or without her, or hair that curled like the downy strands of a child's.

It seemed to her like it was all these things that made her as amazing as she was. Azula could see Ty Lee's hair and eyes and marvelously smooth skin. She could understand the vindictive tantalizing beauty in them. But she couldn't understand the feelings welling in her chest that passed far beyond mere appreciation of a pretty sight. She couldn't understand that wanton excitement, giddiness, even pleasure just a look just a touch would illicit.

In theory Azula would preferred her this way. A pretty young woman, laying like an angel in bed beside her, hair fanned out just perfect, dressed immaculately in a virgin white slip. Ty Lee could be her doll, her plaything. Azula could touch her whenever she pleased and not have to listen to her idiotic rambling when she was finished. Those freckles would be just freckles, her hair would always settle on the pillows as if it belonged there, her lips would forever stay in her perfect little pout.

It would be foolish to not recognize that there wasn't another variable at play here. Azula had recognized her abrupt fondness, endearment even, for Ty Lee and had even stopped trying to fight it. She knew what this _thing _was. She wasn't deaf, blind, and dumb. She had romantic feelings for Ty Lee. She liked her as a person.

That in itself was a strange concept to Azula. She'd never really liked anyone on a personal level, and no one had ever liked her. People were like little chess pieces, they had to be strategically maneuvered through the proper words and gestures to reach a desired outcome, namely victory in what ever form it may come. Then why was Ty Lee so different?

Azula kept coming to the same conclusion over and over again. She couldn't see the world as she'd seen it her whole life and feel the way that she undoubtedly did. They were conflicting pieces of logic and both couldn't be true at the same time. Which meant of course that one of them had to be false. It was like a proven piece of fact against a conflicting theory.

She cared about Ty Lee, therefore caring must mean something. On some cosmic level down to the wiggling little bits and pieces of existence the concept of emotion and feeling wasn't just something to make the proles fall in line. It was something. It was finicky and small and hard to grasp but it meant something.

"Ty Lee." Azula whispered through her clenched teeth. She grasped onto their shared bedding a little tighter, braced herself as if facing an enemy. Then she pinched her out of her slumber.

"Ow, 'Zula." Ty Lee stroked her bare arm drowsily. Her large eyes blinked for a few seconds before focusing directly on Azula's. "I respond to positive reinforcement too. Like a nice rough wakeup kiss maybe."

Azula shook her head blatantly ignoring her. "Do you love me?"

Ty Lee's eyes opened wide for a long moment in surprise, her lightly freckled cheeks turning a bright rosy shade. She swallowed for a few seconds before briskly nodding. "Of course, Azula. Always and forever."

"And you think this is a good thing?" Azula retorted with a cool and collected business air that starkly contrasted with the thoroughly spazzed out Ty Lee who had been breathing rather heavily and looking at her with submissive fluttering eyes.

"I… yeah? How could that be bad?" Ty Lee whispered with a shallow low voice.

Why did she even bother? It seemed just so damn obvious to the rest of the world but she was just missing something. If someone as simple- if someone like Ty Lee could understand why the importance of living life merrily, skipping around holding hands, why couldn't she? It was just so simple for her, but Azula was really struggling. She'd been living her life under a certain set of principles for so long, to see them proven wrong sent her for a bit of a loop.

Azula sighed and turned to her back. She didn't want to look at Ty Lee when she was being so condescending.

"Azula, I've always, always loved you." Ty Lee whispered frantically. She sat bolt straight up letting her little silk slip settle dangerously low on her chest. "Even when I was really little. I was just always so afraid to tell you. I didn't know if we even _could. _I'd never heard of two girls like that before. And… that's good right? You think that's okay don't you?"

Azula spared her a curious look of amusement. Ty Lee was so cute when she was flustered. Of course it wasn't bad for her. She didn't have to worry about being weak or pathetic or mushy. Ty Lee was just…

Did she just say…? Did Azula really ask… and then…?

She'd been so busy thinking about things that she hadn't even realized what she'd said. Azula hadn't meant to use _that _word. She was always very careful never to use _that _word when talking about Ty Lee. Azula was in enough dangerous territory already she didn't need a certain four letter word clawing at the corners of her mind. But still…

Azula had to bite her lips to keep the smile down. "You love me? You really love me?"

"Are you even listening to me at all? I already said that!" Ty Lee screeched shrilly and put her head shyly in her lap. "We can forget about that if you want."

"No it's fine." Azula shook her head in wonder. "Say the words… Tell me you love me."

Ty Lee looked back up to Azula bashfully, looking bewildered and on the verge of tears. Her eyes bravely locked on Azula's. "I love you… If that's okay with you."

Azula laughed haltingly. She couldn't hold back the smile anymore, and didn't even bother trying to hide it. She wanted Ty Lee to see. She wanted everyone to see. Without thinking Azula leaned up to take Ty Lee's flushed face in her hands, cradling it, lifting it, petting it fondly with the sides of her thumbs.

No one had ever said that to her before.

Not her mother. Not her father. Not her brother or anyone. Azula had felt her whole life like she was detached from that world, that she was broken and unlovable. And all that time Ty Lee had been loving her all along. Broken messed up Azula? Azula didn't even love her self half the time.

Every inch of her body was tingling with a nervous giddiness. She felt so glad, so thankful. She wanted to kiss Ty Lee up and down, show every inch of her flesh with tender caring kisses. Azula wanted her to know that what she'd said had meant the world and more to her. She wanted some of the wonderfulness that she was feeling to run off of her skin and onto Ty Lee. It felt like to much for one person to hold all on their own.

Ty Lee leaned into Azula's touch tenderly, and mimicked the same gesture towards Azula timidly. The tips of her thumbs wiggled sweetly at the corners of Azula's mouth. "You look so beautiful when you smile."

"Well naturally." Azula replied automatically. Then slipped into a bashful melancholy. "You look beautiful all the time."

Ty Lee smiled enchantingly at that. Big and wide. There was a curious bowing in her eyebrows, a almost sad crinkling around her eyes. She looked almost like she was about to cry. But Azula knew that look, she knew that feeling.

After a long moment that seemed to pass like a clap of thunder Ty Lee moved towards her gentle and slow. Her slender arms moved to encircle Azula's neck with a diliberate grace. They felt like liquid heat as they touched her.

A kiss as light as the caress of butterfly wing.

"I love you." She whispered gently, against Azula's face. The words spread across her skin like warm butter.

Another gentle brush of her soft, sweet lips.

"I love you." It felt hotter that time. Azula's breath caught in her throat.

Another kiss.

"I love you."

Another.

Another.

Another.


	43. The Touching

**A/N:** Haha! I'm totally evil. You'll see why.

Oh and we're M now. Nothing too, too bad in this chapter tho.

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**Chapter 43**

All that there was, all there ever would be was Ty Lee. Her simpering little smile, her delicate tongue, her blushing pink lips. Azula the intellectual, the general, the strategist could only stare dumbly, submissive and enthralled.

She felt as though there should be more for her to say. Some sort of word or kindness. Ty Lee had spilled her heart out only moments before after all and Azula couldn't think of a single word to whisper back tenderly. She certainly couldn't say it back or utter something as foolish as a thank you no matter how ardently her mind was telling her otherwise.

Ty Lee never asked for anything from her. That was just one of the wonderful things about her, her infinite kindness, patience, and reserve. She was truly some silly little angel sent to help Azula along her way, guide her misbegotten steps, listen to her tell lie after lie to herself and others, and care for her when no one else would.

It felt good to know that she wasn't such a complete waste after all. There was someone out there that cared for her as everything that she was. No expectations or pressures, no coaxing words that meant things she could hardly fathom. Azula's mother thought she was a monster, her father was surely mulling over her failure, and to her brother and Mai she was just a little blip in their memories better left forgotten. They all wanted her to change. They all wished she were different. But Ty Lee, silly stupid Ty Lee had loved her all along the way exactly as she was. It was validating to know, freeing even.

Azula didn't know if she loved her back. She didn't know even if she believed in love or was capable of it. She knew that she thoroughly appreciated all that Ty Lee had done for her, and was rather fond of her company. What was love anyway, but some silly word whispered in moments of togetherness and ecstasy?

Ty Lee was… Ty Lee. She was beautiful and bright and fun. The person that she was didn't seem to be compatible with all that was Azula. How was it possible for her to be loyal to herself and care for Ty Lee at the same time?

Azula carefully lifted one slender white hand bathing it in the soft light of the moon. In something akin to reverence, or maybe even love, her fingers ghosted absently along the line of Ty Lee's tightly clenched jaw and the perfectly smooth skin that lay there.

Everything about that face was completely fetching. Her round innocent child's eyes, her adorable pinched nose, her pretty luxurious lips that felt softer than silk against her fingertips. Ty Lee was a treat, a pretty little vessel made for her each and every pleasure., however idle the situation happened to be- or however dark, however twisted.

Maybe it was her beautiful face and supple body that Azula admired so. She certainly wouldn't have revered her so if Ty Lee had been ugly and deformed. To call something so sexually idolatrous love, however, would be simply wrong.

Her fingers moved along the line cast by Ty Lee's jaw in a long unbroken drag. Azula wanted to feel the sweat there, the tiny invisible hair on her creamy ivory skin, even the tremor of the swallowing of saliva. She was thoroughly engaged and fascinated by such a perfect specimen bare and vulnerable beneath her very own carnivorous finger tips. Completely submissive, completely hers.

People used to fear these hands. People used to fear her closeness. Ty Lee scarcely moved, only breathed timidly as she let her darkened eyes follow Azula's movements. A deer in the headlights, a pliant little pet. Her look made Azula feel nauseous, giddy, and just downright bad- in a good way. Ty Lee didn't look frightened but Azula was vaguely aware that she might.

She allowed her hands to move on their own accord. She wanted to touch Ty Lee for no reason at all. It seemed as though Azula's body had its own desires separate from the endless rational rambling of her mind. Only now her thoughts were twisting her around in circles, so what better to do then trust blind instinct?

Azula's fingers roamed higher to savor the texture of Ty Lee's shapely lips. The beautiful lips that smiled a special smile just for her. They gave so much more readily than the rest of her skin and tried absently to follow as the point of her finger departed like a silently indulgent kiss.

After fully exploring the surface of Ty Lee's small upturned nose and reveling in the way it cast gentle shadows and held light so smoothly, Azula moved her finger to dark reflective eyes closing reflexively on touch. The flutter of her dark eye lashes was like the brush of the down of an oiled plume, soft but still firm enough to keep shape to serve its purpose. She kissed her there, a gentle peck to each eyelid, then bade her eyes open to meander in her stare as well, only to find she didn't have the bravado to hold such a loving gaze.

Once Azula had fully taken in her face she let her hands wander unconsciously to Ty Lee's bound hair, taking the time to untie the elastic at the end of her braid and every plait until reaching the base of her head. In all of Azula's sordid memories of Ty Lee it seemed her hair was let free,- just like it had been the first time they'd kissed.

The hair felt impossibly soft and smooth from it's stay in Ty Lee's eternal braid. All of its little crimps stayed perfectly separated even after being let down into three separate sections of curl, each reflecting the light a thousand times to make its self known.

Azula liked to think that this disheveled Ty Lee was for her eyes alone. As often as she wore her hair in its customary braid seeing her with it let down lent to an air of intimacy between them.

Fearlessly Azula let her own hair down as well.

Throughout all of her intimate meanderings Ty Lee had sat passive. The only tell of her life was the scamper of her light and shallow breaths across their skin. At Azula's move to take down her own hair she'd stirred however with a light smirk and the gentle graze of a hand through Azula's hair.

"You look pretty with your hair down." Ty Lee whispered fondly. Her fingers strayed without hesitation to Azula's lips, "And when you really, really smile. I like that too."

Obligingly Azula smiled in response then laughed. "Tell anyone and I'll have to kill you."

Ty Lee giggled under her breath then leaned in to kiss Azula softly, "Who'd believe me anyhow?"

Azula ran her fingers absently though Ty Lee's hair. She could almost feel a teasing brush of Ty Lee's lips they were held so close. Shallow breaths etched over her skin like millions of warm fingers, the warmth of which stayed long after it was gone. They remained like that for what seemed like an eternity, breathing each others breath and idly stroke extremities. It was hard to say what changed. One moment they were sitting in silent serenity and the next there was an urgent desire for heat and movement that seemed as natural and inevitable as breathing.

Azula's feather light grazing over the goose pimpled flesh of Ty Lee's arm gradually grew harder and more possessive. Their lips connected with the addition of well seasoned tongues accustomed to the company of one another. Ty Lee acted on her preference of wrapping her arms around Azula's neck, leaving Azula's hand to settle respectfully on the jutting bone of Ty Lee's hip.

They fell into a well-known rhythm. They knew how one another kissed, what they liked. What they didn't. It was very comfortable and sweet like a hot bath after a hard day at work.

Even here Azula acted on her desire to explore and have every piece of sweetness she could get. She ran the tip of her tongue along the backs of Ty Lee's teeth trying to see how many she could count, only to discover the soft spots in her gum where wisdom teeth had yet to grow. The realization made her laugh.

Their mouths were sticky with shared spit when they finally parted breathing a bit harder than normal. At seeing the heady impassioned look in Ty Lee's eyes and the barely visible swelling of her lips, breath or no, she pulled her in for another series of wet deep kisses that made her head swim and fingers shake.

Azula's hands began to feel heavy and restless and wandered across Ty Lee's back. The feel of light cool silk against her sweating hands was nice but the tenseness and movement of the tight muscles through the thin fabric felt even better. Azula slipped one hand playfully down the back of Ty Lee's silken slip to get a better feel eliciting a shudder and tiny groan in response.

With a small wet sound their mouths parted again only this time instead of simply pausing to catch their breath Ty Lee made a move to mimic the gesture Azula had started earlier by slipping fingers under Azula's robe. With a playful smirk on her swollen lips instead of tracing the line of her spine with her fingertips Ty Lee moved her warm touch along Azula's collarbone in delicate little brushes.

They were just small touches, skin innocently ghosting over skin but it brought back familiar, somewhat sexual, thoughts. They were alone together in bed. Really it had seemed like such a trivial thing before, Azula and Ty Lee had slept in the same bed together a number of times. In fact most days their little cots were laying side by side on the floor only a flimsy sheet separating them. It was a paradigm of necessity, like dozens of women bathing together in a bath house.

The air seemed very cool, the lighting sporadic and ethereal by the moon. Their bed was a pliant fluff of goose down with finely made sheets and blankets. The atmosphere was sweet and nice, suffocating in its ambience. Ty Lee fit into the scene nicely with her oversized lacey silk slip, her hair ruffling about her in the slight breeze that passed through. Azula wanted to shift her fingers through the scene, become part of which it seemed as though she was always sitting on the side-lines, always observing but never touching.

She wanted to touch Ty Lee. Every inch of her, every centimeter.

There was dance between their eyes, an intense gaze that lasted and lasted. The air was thick with tension and anxiety. Yet neither girl moved, neither spoke. It was a moment of fear, anticipation, maybe even shyness that silenced them both. Azula didn't know how to break it. Every thought or plan of action that came to her mind seemed ridiculous. She didn't know how to cross this line.

"I want to touch you." Azula spoke with a careful finality. Once the words were out of her mouth she almost choked on how base it sounded, how primal. She leaned in as close to Ty Lee as she possibly could, eyes closed, to breath in some of her sweet scent. Her mouth felt dry and heavy. "Can I _touch_… you?"

Their mouths were close, foreheads touching, eyes tightly shut. Ty Lee inhaled sharply sucking the air right from Azula lungs. The fingers on one of her hands interlaced with Azula's for a moment, for a squeeze then departed. She pulled away.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

A rush of movement. The sound of silk hissing to the floor. Ty Lee's voice was small, winning, shuddering. "_Please."_


	44. The Beautiful

**A/N:** I bring you a limón! I don't think it's too, too graphic but I'm a poor judge. If you're not into this kinda stuff I'm going to make it so that it'll still make sense if you skip this chapter.

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**Chapter 44**

Azula could scarcely breathe. She felt so heavy and hot and foggy. Not for Ty Lee being completely bare before her but the absolutely marvelous look of fear and desire and unashamed lust in her deep dark shimmering eyes. No one had ever looked at her like that before, and Azula found she liked the drunken sense of power it gave her, absently of course, she was too busy being a trembling breathless wreck to do any thing about it.

How many battles had she fought? How many times had she looked death in the face and laughed? And this scared her? This beautiful little girl scared her? _Pathetic._

Ty Lee seemed amused, however, gaining bravado from her companions tumultuous silence. A sly, almost vulgar smirk moved across her wetted lips, her flashing teeth, flickering, dancing, tongue. She moved forward with a lanky catlike prowl to close the miniscule distance between them, moved her flushed and ripe breasts from Azula's view to press against her own chest.

Ty Lee moved her mouth deliberately slow to Azula's ear. Her nimble fingers twirled around Azula's unmoving ones. "Well…" she dragged low and long so that Azula bristled on the gravel of her voice. "Aren't you going to _touch_ me?"

Azula felt her eyes close on reflex, her head fell away from the mind-numbing timber of Ty Lee's sweet and syrupy voice. Ty Lee refused to let her escape and nipped delicately at Azula's earlobe. Their intertwined fingers pressed against the swell of Ty Lee's left breast, directly above the hammering of her gentle ill begotten heart.

Azula could feel the gentle flutter of eye lashes behind her ear, and shuddering hot breathes against her neck and shoulder all following the same frantic delicious tempo.

Without a thought in her head Azula let her head swell and throb with those breathes like a migraine. Her vision clamped before her in detached frames. Nothing followed just danced haltingly to the beat of a silent beating drum. There was a sway to their movements, their twitches and breathing. Hips, chests, hands, hearts.

A swift beat, a contraction of the senses and Ty Lee took her reluctant lead out of nothing more than what seemed to be a long held lust. She moved Azula's paralyzed hands for her along voracious curves of her squirming body, like an instrument, an aid, rather than a guide.

Ty Lee's breasts felt much more pliant than she thought they should, her velvet skin much too gracious for just the slightest touch from calloused and blistered fingers. Every inch of skin was liquid soft, better than silk, better than any of the fine fabrics Azula'd had the pleasure to peruse and toss aside so easily.

At the small of Ty Lee's waist Azula found the courage to do little more than grasp her there and let their eyes lock. At the intensity of such a look there should have been something palpable in the air, a line to connect them, cement the touchless impact. Azula lowered her head slowly, still without a thought or reason to explain her actions but blind instinct, and lay her heavy head, her anxious twitching mouth to the crook of Ty Lee's slender naked neck. She could feel a rapid pulse beat against her lips.

Ty Lee released Azula's hands, which had developed some resolve of their own, to cradle her head as it tried to suckle the pulse from her veins. Exploration was divine, phenomenal. Ty Lee was so smooth. So, so, smooth. Every gentle dip of her body drew her hands in welcomingly, every marvelous round fit perfectly to the cup of her hand. Sounds that Ty Lee made, little wanton gasps and groans, reverberated strongly through her core.

"Azula." Ty Lee whimpered out her name, making her smile without hesitation, fear, or reprieve and cup her round flushed face between her hands and kiss her blushing lips until there wasn't an ounce of breath between them.

Ty Lee's pretty eyes implored quietly halting their movements. Her small fingers traced the hem of Azula's robe, and played gently with the knot of her sash. Ty Lee's sweet little mouth formed into a impish grin but her gaze looked downtrodden and guilty. A silent question, as if she was expecting to be denied.

Azula slowly worked her fingers through the knot of her robe. She, like Ty Lee, had worn absolute nothing under her night clothes. When Ty Lee pulled the deep red fabric away there was nothing to hide Azula from her gaze, nothing to keep them apart any longer.

Why should she hide? There were no deformations about her. She had well enough sized breasts, well enough sized everything. They truly had seen one another naked before. Still she felt a blush rise higher and higher on her cheeks and had to bite back the urge to cover herself.

Ty Lee right-out appraised her. She ceased their little sexual play right in its tracks to take in every thing before her completely. Azula couldn't think of anything other to do than let her.

Finally she bit her lip shyly and whispered a low, "Good enough."

Azula scoffed and hit her lightly on the back of her head.

If Ty Lee's smooth skin hadn't been appreciated before in its singularity, it certainly was now at the welcome new sensation of flesh against flesh. Her body was warm and sweet and soft and every where. Their movements and caressing explorations sped up just to try and get a grasp on all the new things she could feel, all the new desires she found she could sate.

In turn Ty Lee ran her hands over Azula skin like she never really had before. Never before did Azula know the absolute chaos she could be sent to just by her dear Ty Lee's proximity and meandering caress. She had never really found any part of her body all that liable to stimulation but at just the slightest graze of her own nipple found her self bucking without control.

Fingers, hands, skin, how could so little of her be so frighteningly arousing? How could it suck the breath from her lungs? Make her gasp, make her plead, and make her willing to sell her very soul and heart for just another blissful endless moment?

And she felt so good! Azula felt so sweaty and alive like going into a battle, like handling a delicate dangerous flame. Only now she was willfully resigned to such a lustful pleasure to her supposed victim, as her pretty little lover shoved her a little too roughly against the carved oaken headboard of their bed and kissed her over her naked skin, leaving Azula nothing to do but lightly caress Ty Lee's hair and enjoy the attention.

And the things she had the audacity to do with that mouth. Ty Lee licked everywhere, kissed everywhere. The tips of fingers, the crooks of elbows, the dip of a bellybutton. She laved up any trickle of sweat she could find graciously. She even sucked a nipple into her mouth a rolled it lightly between her teeth.

One part of Azula's brain told her such things were vulgar, another told her she didn't care.

It was too hot, so hard to breath. Her eyes were watering, her breath hitching, sweat covering her in a liquid sheen. Wetting her hair making touches glide over one another and leave marks where they've been.

Ty Lee moved progressively lower, her tongue flicking and swirling everywhere, her hands obtusely caressing and squeezing the back of Azula's thighs and buttocks. Beneath her Azula found herself rocking back and forth, pulling close then far away. There was a feeling in her gut, flittering and swarming like butterflies on fire. It felt good, it felt warm and cool and wonderful and she never wanted to stop.

A stray hand found its way from Azula's backside almost unnoticed while Ty Lee amused her self with a gentle teasing bite at Azula's hip bone. Azula only realized its pretense when Ty Lee ran those smooth sweat slicked fingers along the edge of her neatly trimmed pubic hair. She jerked instantly but paid no further trouble.

Oh, gods. Oh, spirits. Oh, Agni.

Ty Lee unabashed, wretched Azula's legs wide apart and touched her _there. _She could have seized right that moment. Everything before, every fleeting touch, every cruel and purposeful one had been nothing in the wake of this. The pit of her stomach lit up in an uproar of sparks, every one deliciously sweet and tender. There were no more drums, no pulsating movements, just thrusts and lunges. Blind things that were hard to pin in the heat of the moment.

Azula let her head fall back, her long thin arms grasped above her head to grip knuckle-white on the headboard. There needed to be something for her to hold on to, to express this _strength_ in any form. Her eyes clenched tight. She couldn't watch this. She couldn't let her head shame her into some old-fashioned idea of believing that this marvelous all-consuming feeling was bad.

It was such a simple gesture. All Ty Lee did was lay her hand open palm against the crux of Azula's thighs and pressed tight and hard. Just that sent shock waves through her body. At the advent of movement a tight fast rotation (from her palm? Her fingers? Something) it grew like wildfire quick and incredibly strong from that little spot in the pit of her stomach down through her groin, and thighs until finally blossoming and reaching a marvelous crescendo that halted her every movement, stopped her breath and sent something inside her uncontrollably spasming, each time another little aftershock of pleasure.

After such a marvelous- everything- it seemed to take forever for Azula to come down. Her nerves were all humming and anxious, yet at the same time she felt very mellow and warm. She had to ease her body out of the tight position she had forged, open her eyes, stop clinging onto the headboard for dear life. Azula's head lulled, hair flopped drowsily, and her eyes hit Ty Lee.

This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. Azula remembered long ago imagining this moment and if anything their positions were switched. She wanted to domineer and conquer, she was trained for such things. Instead she submitted easily, gratefully to such a small bashful thing. Seeing Ty Lee positioned awkwardly still between her legs, eyes alight with a cloudy breathless desire only reminded her of this.

More important than twisting and turning thoughts about who she was or wasn't, was that beautiful look in Ty Lee's eyes that sent her limbs into jelly all over again. Azula smiled softly at her. She had yet to be attended to.

Without another thought Azula pulled her up roughly by the arm to meet her in a kiss. Ty Lee tasted sweet and salty and her mouth dripped with saliva and sweat and other less identifiable things. She was permeating a wonderful deep rich smell. Azula couldn't tell whether the scent came from her Ty Lee or both.

When she broke the kiss Azula positioned Ty Lee beside her, against a pillow, like she should be, a pretty little thing laying in wait for her next move. She was laid out completely, offering herself in a way that made Azula's mouth water.

Azula took a moment to look over her blustering flesh, the position of her lovely breasts, and the look in her wide loving, lustful eyes, before swooping above and over her, hips pressing against hips, naked breasts against breasts. Her hair draped meddlesomely around them like a long dark curtain no matter how many times Azula tried to brush it aside.

They lay there a while, just writhing against one another and kissing wet hot and open mouthed, and savoring the feel of another body pressed tight and warm against their own. Ty Lee snaked her sweet smelling arms around Azula's neck to pull her close and keep her there, merging the two into a tight pile of limbs and long smooth hair.

At the thought of them together, truly physically together Azula was hit with a wave of overwhelming tenderness. That's the cliché isn't it? The goal of not sex, but making love? In that one instant it seemed almost true. Then the instant faded and she laughed.

Ty Lee whined against her ear, her long gymnasts legs reached up to wrap around Azula's waist with ease as she began to grind against the other girl without shame. She was _wet_ there and radiating heat. Azula vaguely thought she might desire to do as Ty Lee had done and watch the junction of their bodies, but decided against it on pure modesty issues. It seemed like such a vulgar thing, and while not above having done to her, Azula was most certainly above doing it herself. Azula was a lady and she would fuck, screw, copulate like one.

After a long period of simply thrusting against one another, and enjoying the motions that came easier than breathing to their bodies on impulse, Azula managed to work a hand between them. Just managing keeping herself upright with one arm was enough of a challenge, then she had to wretch from Ty Lee's iron grip just to get her hand where she wanted it. With a romance-less sudden movement Azula slid a finger into her as far as she could; her thumb worked the outside of opening.

She was impossibly hot and slick. Not much outside of that registered. Azula knew the female body, she had that advantage on her side but not much else. Just put this here, do that here, it was formulaic and simple but at least gave her something to while she hovered above Ty Lee.

There was blind fumbling, desperate movements, and veiled curses, but Ty Lee didn't seemed to care or notice. She seemed absolute swept. Their was a look in her eyes that made it seem as thought she wasn't seeing anything at all, betrayed by her desperate little whispered vows of eternal love and praise to her princess, her Azula.

Ty Lee got worked up rather quickly, the aroused little tart she was. Azula hardly paid any heed to what she was doing only watched the entrancing array of emotion's that ran over Ty Lee's face, and got high off of the sweet rapture in her eyes. How loving she seemed. How absolutely loving. She still had that way about her of bowing her eyebrows soft and sweet as if she were about to cry, as if it were actually a sad thing to look at one another.

Azula captured her lips, sucked them into her mouth, moved her hands and hips slowly methodically. So beautiful. She was beautiful, and young and innocent and amazing. Azula wanted to devour her, to kill her, to love her, to give her everything, and take it all away. There were so many conflicting things in her head running back and forth around and around. Just as she always was, a nonsensical mess, loving her darling Ty Lee in the mean time.

Their eyes locked, intensely lucid and deep. Azula could see her falling over the edge in Ty Lee's pretty dark eyes, and was surprised at the soaring in her chest and the uncomfortable nauseous warmth that accompanied it.

How absolutely beautiful.


	45. The Innocent

**A/N:** It's been a while. There are no excuses at all! But I did go to my senior prom, and study like mad for AP testing and register to vote. None of these are really all that time consuming now that I think about it…

Some Ursula… (!) drama this chapter. It was originally going to be a sort of monologue so I might have some pronoun misusage floating around. AND because I've made ya'll wait long enough all ready I haven't done too much editing yet.

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**Chapter 45**

The day after her mother left Azula's father told her she was done being a child. There would be no more mother to coddle her- as if she ever did- and no more happy family. He burned everything she owned into cinders. He called them poisonous lecherous things. He told Azula she died.

He became lord of the greatest empire on the planet that day. People were bowing to him, praising him. It should have been the greatest day of any man's life, only all he could talk about was her.

It was never good things. He called her a whore, he called her some cheap mangled commoner, he said that he had doubts Zuko and Azula were even his flesh and blood children. Ursa gave him the throne that he'd coveted for long and then took away the glory. She took away his dream.

Azula had always kind of hated her. Father was God to her back then, her mother was just some silly woman who always took her brother's side. No matter how spectacular Azula was, at the end of every night he still went back to that stupid woman. Azula told him that he loved Ursa more than her, his own beloved progeny. He said, "Of course."

Father loved her. He really and honestly loved her, and she walked off in the middle of the night to save her worthless son. One love for another.

What a bitch! What a whore. Right?

Right.

All of her life Azula'd taken it out on her. There wasn't anyone else to blame. She didn't hate her father for threatening Zuko's life. She didn't hate her grandfather for making the proposition. It was all _Ursa's _fault. If only she'd loved Azula and her father more…

When Azula looked at Ty Lee, all she could see was that other woman's face. And she wanted to smother her with a pillow. She wanted to hear her scream and watch her die.

The thought was incredibly disturbing. Of all people why would she think of her mother after having sex? Azula wasn't like Zuko, she didn't have _those_ particular problems. In fact Azula had scarcely thought of her mother at all in the past few months, other than to idly curse her name. That woman wasn't part of her life any longer. There was no reason to think about her.

Ty Lee was beautiful and funny and cute. She was a positive force in Azula's little universe. Why then was her mind trying to fuck every thing up? They were nothing alike! They didn't even really look like one another.

A jostle across the room made Azula stir. Ty Lee dropped a heavy dish, which proceeded to bounce and roll across the wooden flooring to settle by the bedside, where Azula lay. Earth Kingdom pottery was ridiculously resilient.

"Sorry!" Ty Lee's high sweet voice jolted across the room like a bolt of electricity. She didn't speak like Azula's mother did either. "I was trying to make you breakfast before you woke up."

"I wasn't asleep." Azula grumbled and shifted. When she woke up in the morning she was hit with a wonderful wave of sloth. Laying in bed had never seemed more desirable, even after Ty Lee tiptoed out of bed and made a hell of a ruckus shifting things around. She had the right to lay back and relax. There was a lot to think about.

"Ah-ah-ah!" Ty Lee rushed over to Azula in a blur the moment she tried to sit up, and covered her head with a sheet. "You can't see yet, or it won't be a surprise. So you just close your eyes- oh and plug your nose."

"I'm not going to-"

"Plug-up your nose!" Ty Lee laughed sweetly. "Ravish a girl and don't even let her surprise you with breakfast in bed? Where are your manners princess?"

Azula rolled her eyes, beneath the cover of blanket and obliged her, holding her nose loosely with a free hand. She was a tad bit curious however. If Ty Lee had one thing over Azula it was that she could actually cook something decent. Everything Azula put over a flame miraculous ended up becoming ash, tea included.

"Did you do it?" Ty Lee asked. Her feet had steadied. She wasn't rummaging around the kitchenette anymore. Azula muffled a nasally reply which made her laugh even more. Ty Lee sure was in a good mood this morning. "It shouldn't take too long. Don't you suffocate now, 'Zula."

Ty Lee was so ridiculously effeminate sometimes. She just had to go over board on every little gesture. "Let's make a fort!" "Let's have a snowball fight!" "Let's go to the zoo." She was like a little girl with poor impulse control. Sadly enough Azula was plagued by constantly having to go along with her wild ideas, and worse, she actually enjoyed them. Was she really only 18? She felt like she was 40.

The kitchen clatter began up again, this time aided by a gentle meandering hummed tune. Pots and pans were set against surfaces, cloths fluttered against the breeze, there was the faint sound of simmering somewhere in the background. Something was boiling over. Azula's thoughts immediately went to tea.

Amongst all the clashes and sounds of cooking food was the pitter-patter of Ty Lee's bare feet against the washed out floor boards, the sound of skin brushing over skin, hair being flicked violently at every sudden gust of wind. Azula wondered what she looked like gliding around their little abandoned kitchen. Was her hair still a complete mess as it had been the night before? Did she still smell like warm apple butter, spring flowers, and rich deep-seated sex?

Oh spirits! The last time Azula saw Ty Lee they were laying naked against one another, just holding on to each other's bodies for dear life. It didn't seem like there should be anything after that. After such a night there should never be a morning. But somewhere beyond Azula's sheet of a blindfold the sun had risen.

Ty Lee better move a little slower- or faster. Something. She wanted something.

"Okay, Azula." Ty Lee's voice hit a sing-song tone on her name. The rustling had stopped finally, save for the sounds of her loose hair and the ever moving curtains. "I'm ready."

Azula took a deep breath. She felt flushed and embarrassed. How do you face someone who's seen every little part of you in intimate detail? How do you sit down and eat breakfast like everything's fine? They had _sex. _They had sex and Azula thought Ty Lee looked like her mother and it should never be morning ever.

Reluctantly Azula sat up. Just sitting upright felt like it took a lot more effort than usual. She had been really comfortable. It took what seemed like and eternity of adjusting herself before Azula could manage to poke her head out of the cover of her sheets and manage to kept every part of her body wrapped up tight.

"Tah dah!" Ty Lee squeaked sweetly, arms spread wide and grinning.

She had set up a… picnic. One of their fluttering long curtains was spread across the floor boards next to the bed and covered with a ridiculous array of little dishes. Some were candied fruit and jams, others were nicely made breads with butter and cinnamon drizzled atop. It all oozed with an odorous steam that made Azula's mouth water. Everything looked tooth rotting sweet.

Beyond the small platters of treats Ty Lee was sitting naked to the bone, skin flushed a delicious shade that matched some of her little candies. She'd never bothered to put on any clothes that morning, or cover herself up in front of Azula. She didn't even look embarrassed in the least to be completely naked in front of Azula like yet another picnic treat for the taking.

"Do you like it?" Ty Lee muttered shyly, her eyes suddenly coy and elusive, cheeks blushing bright. "It's mostly just preserves and things. I reheated some butter and bread and something else. Can't remember exactly. It was supposed to be nice and easy so I could finish before you woke up. I couldn't even find a tray to put it all on. So I guess it's not breakfast 'in' bed exactly."

Azula lifted herself off her perch on the bed, still wrapped tightly in her sheet, more by instinct than anything else and waddled over to sit across from Ty Lee. Upon sitting she grabbed blindly in front of her and stuck a sweet strawberry candy in her mouth. It popped and sizzled on her tongue.

"I thought sweet things would be really nice, and I brought way to much food here anyway. You know, sweets for my sweet." Ty Lee grimaced as the words left her mouth and shook her head nervously. "Is it okay? Is _this_ okay?"

Azula admired the soft caring look in Ty Lee's eyes for a long moment. She was so beautiful. Ty Lee was beautiful! And she made Azula feel… just feel, without even trying. All of her thoughts drifted away with just one look, one innocent uncertain look.

A long time ago Azula had lost her childhood. She had to grow up much to fast and had seen too much war and bloodshed. She learned that the rules of life were complex and unfair. How then, could this be so simple? How was it all of her regrets went unchecked? How was it possible that Azula, who had been unloved by her father, unloved by her mother, and unloved by her brother, could have someone look at her with such impossible love and respect in their eyes?


	46. The Illness

**A/N**: Ahhh! Graduation is kicking my ass! I feel really bad about updating only like twice a month lately and having my updates be such shitty ones. But I only have 4 days of High School left and then I'm done forever, meaning of course, all the f'ing time in the world to write.

Probably the shortest chapter in this fic. I know, I'm scum. It felt longer when I was writing it.

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**Chapter 46**

Azula had been taught very little about sexuality growing up. Her schooling was somewhat conservative. Her mother was gone. Her father didn't care about such things. What little she knew came from the bellowed boastings of soldiers too far from leave and plain old common sense. Neither of which had really served her very well.

So in contact with certain practices she felt a little virginally squeamish. Sleeping with someone was supposed to be all writhing bodies, innocent touches that were ecstasy on their own. It was something to be deemed "sacred"- romantic even. Was she terribly foolish for thinking such a thing?

Azula had never expected sex to be so sexual.

Ty Lee was apt to do the most obscene things when they lie together, with a devious glint of delight in her eyes all the while. She would suck at Azula like an infant, run her tongue between toes and deep into ears. She would pass all boundaries unawares. He nimble fingers pushed places a finger was never supposed to go, her lips and tongue would even work to pleasure her all on their own.

These things downright disgusted her. She was ashamed to have been present when they went down, much less a victim of such shameful practices. Yet every time another boundary was crossed Azula felt an uncommon thrill. She was always such a _good, good _girl. Breaking the rules just wasn't something she did. To do it now and so utterly unforgivably was a slice of heaven she could scarcely dream of.

If only her father could see her now. What a lady she'd become.

The days Azula and Ty Lee spent in their vacation chalet passed languidly. They were in and out of bed more often than sleep would permit. The girls hardly had the resolve to eat and bathe much less wander out to the lake which was supposedly the cottage's main drawing point to begin with. There were too many new sinful pleasures tucked between the sheets.

It was hard to think in that place or worry or dream. Every waking minute was spent absorbing the smooth body before her and every moment of darkness was filled with her sweet scent. Her Ty Lee was so gentle and beautiful and the sky was so bright and forgiving. What was there not to love about the day? What was there not to love about being alive? It was hard even to sleep at night when her foolish heart wouldn't stop palpitating with such a delicious excitement.

Minutes passed like hours, hours passed like minutes. Everything was so strange and warm and very unlike how life had always been.

"I think I may be ill." Azula blurted out.

Ty Lee laughed her sweet little laugh and brushed a few stray strands of hair from Azula's forehead. "I thought you don't get sick. You told me that, remember?"

Azula sighed contentedly back into the circle of Ty Lee's arms. She felt mellow and relaxed, between the warm scented bath water around her and the even warmer slick body she was propped up against, lounging and being bathed like a pampered princess.

"I feel strange." Azula mumbled and caught Ty Lee's eyes petulantly for a moment, then just as quickly looked away.

"Maybe you should eat something without crazy amounts of sugar in it." Ty Lee began making little circles on Azula's arm with the tip of her finger. "I've still got some nice bread I could fix up for you… Oh maybe some soup. With those cute little potatoes and carrots. Would you like that, 'Zula?"

"It's not that kind of illness." Azula closed her eyes tightly. "I'm just unfocused… and confused perhaps."

Ty Lee giggled and wiggled her toes. "I think that means I should get you to bed earlier, huh?" She pecked gently at Azula's temple.

Azula rolled her eyes. Even now her heart was flustering. Must be the heat. Yeah. The heat.

They lounged about in silence for a long while. Azula couldn't seem to keep a thought in her head for longer than a minute. They kept slipping away as soon as they came and Azula could hardly care to keep them. She was so warm and comfortable.

"Hey, I remember you getting sick before." Ty Lee jolted with the recollection forcing Azula to as well. "You didn't come to school for days. The teacher said you were"- teacher mocking voice- "Deathly ill." Ty Lee cleared her throat. "That made me cry. I thought you were going to die."

Azula bit her lip a little. "When we were nine or ten, you mean? I wasn't the slightest bit ill then? Did they tell you I was?"

Ty Lee looked at her strangely and nodded. What a sweet little thing she was really.

That had been around the time her mother had left or died. It was hard to tell an more with so many people lying to her over the years. After that woman was gone her father became insufferable. He was lost in a strange conviction of grandeur and perfection. He couldn't go out unless his hair and suit were perfect and if his children didn't live up to his expectations they suffered for it.

Azula must have done something wrong. She never knew exactly what it was. He'd never told her. Instead she was locked in her room for days without so much as a meal or glass of water. Apparently she'd been "deathly ill" that entire time.

Azula cleared her throat. "Can't get a good messenger these days. I was out of the city with Lo and Li. Father thinks I get more cultured traveling than in school you see." She closed her eyes sweetly. "It's important to know the world."

"You're so lucky." Ty Lee laughed her gentle lilting laugh. "My parents made me go to school even when I was sick or even really sleepy."

Azula smiled back at her. She remembered little Ty Lee with her rosy cheeks and long never-ending braid. She was so cute and talkative even then. Everyone loved her, but she followed Azula around like a lost dog.

Everyone did at first. Azula was the princess, in the Fire Nation that made every drop of her blood divine. All the children wanted to be her friend. Slowly they all melted away, however, no one thought being friends with a princess was worth being friends with Azula. Even then when everyone abandoned her, Ty Lee hung on tight. She was the only one who'd never given up on her now and forever. She was the only constant in her mixed up life.

What made Ty Lee be the way she was? Azula had certainly given her no reason to stick around. Why did they fit so perfectly when nothing really fit at all? Why did she love her? Why didn't anyone else?

Ty Lee was her illness, her deadly affliction. Killing off all of the weak parts of her flesh and soul and letting the strong shine through.

At this rate Azula would either parish under her sickly sweet fingers or rise up, head held high and stronger than ever.


	47. The Fiery Ode

**A/N**: "Dulce et Decorum est" is the name of a poem that talks about how it is "Sweet and becoming", to die for one's country.

Goodnight. I'm sleepy.

* * *

**Chapter 47**

She always thought that there was supposed to be some cosmic meaning to her life. Azula was the hero after all, the special one. She was intelligent, beautiful, and just _destined_ for greatness. Life had to have meaning for someone like her. It just had to. What was the point in living if it didn't?

Azula felt like she was going through the motions just to survive for the longest time. She'd found her meaning long ago and lost it, in a flurry of flames. Everyday after her shameful fall was just another day of humiliation and dishonor. Why couldn't she just have died in battle, "Dulce et decorum est" as they say? It is an honor to die for one's country. So many honorable men had done it before. What made her any different?

Is this what it is to be alive? Not the finding of a purpose, but the long humiliating search? What would one do with a purpose anyhow? Help others? Make the world a better place? Why? What for? So others would have to search just a little harder?

How naïve and young she had been to think such things worked out peachy and that life was something to be accomplished not lived- not tolerated. She knew now the bitter truth to the meaning of life that had so eluded scholars for ages. The meaning is that there is none- we exist because we are alive, we're alive because we exist. Maybe there is some god up there with a sense of humor, thrusting his little ants into existence just to burn them under the magnifying glass and watch them scramble.

These sorts of things used to trouble Azula endlessly. She felt so special that it was hard to come to terms with being nothing but a scrambling little creature, sired by a jovial god for the sake of entertainment. She worked with all her might to disprove her own thesis. If she were Fire Lord she could create the meaning that was meant to be. She would be an orderly benevolent god.

When had she stopped striving for that?

In the scheme of things now she really was nothing. No one looked at her, no one thought of her. For all her strides at greatness anonymity found her fast and put her to the same level as those who ate dry bread and sewed clothes and reproduced in their own filth like rats. She'd stopped trying just like they had and would be lucky to go down as a footnote in history- the only tell that she'd lived at all. She used to hate that sort of complacency. She used to hate those people. Now she wasn't so sure.

In the dark of night they walked down the empty streets together, arms twined, bodies pulled in tight. It was windy and chill and on the brink of rain, but neither girl thought to rush. Azula and Ty Lee had just returned to Ba Sing Se, their home now, and their feet were leaden.

No one was on the streets, and for that reassurance along with comments about how she may be mistaken for a handsome young man if none looked too closely at her face, Azula walked along side her, entangled in her, as if they were the only two people in the world. Sometimes she even wished they were.

Ty Lee looked like an angel. Her hair bound up tidily atop her head adorned with silly Earth Kingdom things, her robes were a lush crisp green that looked like fresh spring grass, her lips painted a deep glittering shade. She claimed to have missed Iroh so dearly that she wanted to look nice for him and make him a nice meal. Once she told Azula even that the silly old man reminded her of her own lackadaisical father, who'd died just six years prior. Secretly Azula took a thrill at seeing the smear of a woman's lipstick flush along her own skin like a brand.

They stayed a comfortable silent together, with only the sounds of gentle footsteps and night creatures in the air. The usually talkative Ty Lee radiated with warmth and eyes that glittered amongst the starlight. Just looking at her pretty face made Azula's heart swell.

Ty Lee didn't worry like Azula did of things way beyond any human's control. She was a big ball of impulse, of love, and gentleness. She loved strangers like her father, and devils like her life. She crossed the globe to be with someone who had thrown her in prison, who'd belittled her, called her names, used her. And she loved her. That was the most amazing thing. She loved someone who'd never deserved it and… put a small piece of real tangible meaning into her life.

And how could this feeling not mean something? How could such an impossible warmth, and kindness, and excitement, and breathless pain not be divine? Azula didn't feel this way looking over battlements, planning things, fire bending- and she loved those things, she had defined herself on those things.

Love…

Love is the end to all means.

But, oh god of gods of Agni, did she really _love_ Ty Lee? There were so many implications and responsibilities to that word. Azula had heard so many girls use that word before about their boyfriends and scoffed. But now that it was happening to her, and every nerve on her body was on fire, every synapse in her mind longing, it seemed so poignant and true. How could this feeling, this intense impossible feeling, not be love?

Without realizing it Azula had stopped moving. They were on the edge of a tree lined street, the first spatters of a rainfall just hitting the pavement before them. In the dark, in the quiet, they sounded so loud.

_Drrrip._

_Drrrip._

Like a heartbeat almost. The whispered little heartbeat of a bird. Yet every one made Azula choke.

"Mmm…" Ty Lee mumbled next to Azula cuddling into her. The rain fell a little faster. "You feel so warm."

_Drip._

_Drrrip._

_Drip._

Azula dropped to her knees. The pavement felt cold even through the fabric that covered them. It was a sweet shock that made her jolt a little.

She turned towards Ty Lee who simply gazed back with a stilted awe. Azula took one of her little hands into her own and kissed it. Once on every fingertip, every knuckle, every line and mound of knowledge, life, and love.

The rain continued its upwards descent, splattering on the tip of Azula's nose, the fabric polled around Ty Lee's wrist. But it didn't stay for long- the air was so hot and stifling. It was almost as if the fat wet drops of rain were evaporating. It was almost as if they sizzled the moment they hit her flesh.

"Azula…" Ty Lee stuttered. There was a strange tone in her voice, like a warning, like fear.

Why did she need to be afraid? Azula had shown her nothing but kindness these past few months.

More small worshiping kisses. Up her pretty arm now, her impossibly delicate wrist. How was it possible that this every hand, this very wrist could hold her entire body up as if it had the bulk of an ankle? How strange and amazing.

Ty Lee's breathing was becoming labored, rapid. She was jerking away and saying something in a distressed voice but Azula couldn't make it out. She was feeling so swept up in a simply gesture. The world seemed quiet for them. The rain had halted in its tracks.

Azula ran a finger along a pretty vein in her wrist. Ty Lee's fine blood looked so blue under her skin… So impossibly…

"Stop it!" Ty Lee's shrill voice cut hysterically through her reverie. "You're hurting me!"

Azula pulled away as if struck, falling backward onto the ground. The rain seemed to pick up almost instantly around them- no it didn't seem to it did. Rain made a fresh spatter on a little circle of dry road around them- around Azula.

She'd been fire bending.

Without another moment's delay Azula jerked forward to grab a hold of Ty Lee's face, make her look at her. She flinched.

"Give me your hand." Azula demanded. Despite her frantic state, Ty Lee complied instantly.

The skin on her arm had turned a bright red and was swelling. A layer of skin had shrunk away from the spot and curled around it's self on the edges, in little yellowish white bundles. There was no blood but her skin was slicked with something like pus. It looked like it hurt.

"Oh, Ty Lee… It was an accident. I swear!" Azula mumbled through her teeth. "Are you alright? Does it hurt a lot? What do we do? Should we be doing something to it?"

Oh gods! She'd burned Ty Lee. Of all the times for her fire bending to make an appearance, it choose this one. She should have been more careful, more controlled. Azula had just thought it was gone forever. Why worry about hurting anybody?

Ty Lee sobbed a little, "Please just take me home." Her teeth were clenched close together, her eyes full of tears.

Azula nodded deftly and shoved her along. She thought she might wrap her sash around the burn, wet with the rain, or knock on the nearest door, begging for assistance. But Ty Lee would have none of it. She wanted to be taken back to Uncle, and Azula could do nothing but idly comply.

She had only meant to be tender. To show her Ty Lee all the feelings she had welled up inside without having to wallow over all the implications of labels. How foolish to think something could ever be so simple!

Azula the monster can't touch a single thing without it turning to ashes. Why leave her with anything precious?

Useless. Pathetic. All she could ever do, all she's ever done, is hurt.


	48. The Spark

**A/N:** This chapter has got to be the shortest yet. But I'm trying! I've hit this terrible mid fic hump where I don't want to write anything. I had to ban myself from the internet, games, and the TV just to write this. But I promise I will continue writing! We're too far gone now. Besides I should regain interest once we are near the end.

Umm… More melodramatic Azula. :(

* * *

**Chapter 48**

There was a time when more than anything in the world Azula wanted to become just like her father. He was so large, so admirable, untouchable. When most little girls were brushing their mothers pretty hair and being rocked to sleep, Azula was training to become the perfect heartless son, leaving fanciful tea parties to her effeminate brother. Back then the world was every her father said it was. She didn't have to work or think or develop anything resembling a conscience to survive. In fact such things might be a liability in her world. Azula was a machine, and she was the best damn machine that there was.

Now she found her self hating him like she's never hated anyone before. The feeling was so deep and consuming that she could scarcely put a thought to that man without a deep loathing. As he had been a god before, worshipped in all of his benevolence and knowledge, now her father became an oppressing devil leading her stray at every quiet moment when she thought she was safe.

Ozai forged the creature that was Azula after all, for all her flesh and thoughts she could have just as easily have been spark and wire, a real robot, to save the confusion of purpose. Sometimes Azula doubted the validity of her own thoughts, her very existence, on the premise they had been programmed into her consciousness long ago. It was only a matter of time until the illusion of separation effervesced and Azula the person became Ozai reincarnate. Just another mindless minion to continue fruitless efforts started in that hail of fire so long ago.

This was the way it always had been. The moment Azula thought she was a living breathing creature, something worth of a name, her father came back to strip her of her humanity just as her grandfather had done to him all the way up to Sozin or whatever wyvern progenitor their line came from.

Ty Lee would call it something much more human. Ozai was abusive. Ozai was a narcissist. He was a user. He was selfish. He was evil. Azula only wondered what that made her then, his creation.

I was an endless cycle. Everything Ozai endued onto his darling daughter, she would by nature pass on to someone else. As Azula was herself quite committed to never procreating the poison had to spread else where. I needed a pliant supple mind filled with nothing but care and trust like a child's. That's the only way the poison will set you see, and that's why Azula was bothered so. She was a carrier of toxins, a contagious disease. As her father once warped and damaged her, Azula would do to all that come into contact to her. She would damage Ty Lee.

That girl was so fond of saying little clichéd words. She was always calling her father things like _toxic_ and _abusive_, words that sounded so wrong and inaccurate. Azula wasn't some whimpering little child being beaten and insulted mercilessly by her father. He scarcely ever lay a hand on her. Like herself Ozai was a master of his temper. He would merely use words sharper than knives to correct her, to improve her. It was only out of love and efficiency. Azula became the child he wanted didn't she? It had seemed like the ultimate goal in her childhood, but now Azula hoped for once that she'd failed.

Burning someone, burning her _girlfriend_, was something more fit to the label of "abusive" than anything her father had ever done to her.

I couldn't have been an accident. Azula was one of the greatest fire benders to ever live. Bending as an art is all about control. The first thing a bending master will teach his student is the importance of controlling oneself and using their endowed gifts responsibly. Azula had mastered that lesson before she turned five and every time the rules were bent it was on purpose.

Of course she didn't actively want to hurt Ty Lee. Azula didn't even know if she could if she tried. It was simply the fact that she did something so foolish and beneath her. Azula never had any damn thing out of her control. She was smart and good at everything. This sort of misstep was something that wasn't conceivable unless it had been on purpose. There were no such things as mistakes as far as Azula was concerned. To be out of control like that was more terrifying than not know what lay in the depths of her own psyche.

As Azula watched Ty Lee and her Uncle buzz around the kitchen dressing her wounds, applying salve and honey to Ty Lee's now blistering flesh, she felt a flittering pang of guilt. Regardless of who's fault it was, Ty Lee who'd never shown Azula anything but kindness would not be in pain if it weren't for Azula. Her skin wouldn't be pealing, it wouldn't be blistering and disgusting to look at her, and her pretty face wouldn't have such a heartbreaking look of pain on it.

It hurt Azula knew. She had seen plenty of burns before and this particular kind was the most painful. Deep enough to really hurt but no enough to sever the nerves so that she couldn't feel pain. It could scar. It could scar and Azula would always have to remember what happened, and so would Ty Lee. If someone asked her about it what would she say? What would they say? "Oh, don't worry. Azula didn't _mean _it." Who the hell would believe that? Azula didn't even believe it.

How sobering and scary it was to think that it was all her father's fault.

Azula rose unnoticed amongst the rush and urgency of the room. This was her place as always, just outside the center of activity. She was the cause of discontent, not a helper of healing. Maybe they'd be happier if she just left.

It had gotten darker and cold. The streets were still slick with rain even though it appeared to have at least momentarily halted. Azula walked alone not coming into contact with a single person on the deserted streets. Perhaps they were all in with their families this time of night, not even able to conceive of the troubles that ran through Azula's mind. The streets at night are just for sad and lonely people.

It wasn't hard to find her destination after walking the same path some many times. It was closing in on 8 months she'd been in the Earth Kingdom trouncing the same cobblestones day after day, and the roof of that teashop was still as welcoming as ever. Azula thought idly that perhaps once the rush had died down Ty Lee and Iroh might run out to get her, make sure she wasn't going bump in the night. She hoped that she'd be missed.

No one came.


	49. The Reason

**A/N:** I'm not dead! Sorry for the extra-long wait. I could give a bunch of excuses but I'm not gonna. This was my bad and I'm sorry.

I recently went back and fixed some stuff from the last few chapters after some of you complained about my bad grammar. I usually get so excited to post that I don't proofread and end up with silly mistakes- on top of my already bad grammar. Like today.

* * *

**Chapter 49**

Early in the morning she was cleaning with a fervor once reserved for battles. There was a certain solace in the movement if nothing else, the accomplishment even, making things perfect when they were once flawed. In the furry of movement and concentration at the very least she could drown her thoughts back for a few hours. Thinking hadn't been going very well for her lately.

Why did she need to think about how she was slowly turning into her father, and how that had suddenly become a bad thing? Azula was a tea-whore, she didn't need to think about anything. Where had it ever gotten her any way?

After hours of scouring the tea shop in the dark solitude of night daylight was seeping in. With the daylight came the movement of thousands of little lives nothing better to do than rise and fall with the sun. Workers came and smoked silently, casting her eerie looks. Their only job was to run out the clock and they didn't like having to compete with someone who worked until her fingers bled, especially one with her already elevated status of being the boss's niece. It didn't matter. Azula was used to not being liked. Azula could handle not being liked.

Being liked on the other hand sent her spinning.

"Morning!" Ty Lee's little voice whispered into her ear making Azula jump. She threaded their fingers lightly with her never-ending affectionateness. Azula balked.

"Good morning." She muttered in response and pulled away from her to rewet her cleaning rag. Nearby her Uncle shouted a jovial greeting as well.

"Where were you last night? I was worried." Ty Lee followed Azula across the kitchen to plop her head onto Azula's shoulder and wrapped her thin arms around her waist as if the room weren't teeming with people with nothing better to do than watch them.

"Here." Azula muttered coolly wrenching herself from Ty Lee's grasp. "I was just right here."

Ty Lee returned to her quickly wrapping her in another tighter embrace, pressing up against Azula's back and halting her movements. After grumbling irritably Azula grabbed for her arms to tear away from her only to feel her fingers run across the hard wood of a splint plastered against Ty Lee's wrist and arm with gauze.

A splint.

Why in hells did she need a splint? Azula had only burned her hadn't she? You don't need a splint for a burn. Splints are for broken bones. Unless the burn was had reached as far as her wrist, then maybe a splint could be used to prevent her from further agitating the wound and… causing more pain.

Azula bit her lip lightly, "Ty Lee…" The words came out of her mouth soft and slow.

She had never meant for this to happen. It was a mistake, a fluke, an err. She couldn't help it. It wasn't her fault. It wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't.

Sometimes she was afraid of what it meant to be human. To accept her weaknesses and problems and take them as they were. Azula had always tried to place herself above all those things. If she were truly special she'd never be flawed. She couldn't call herself human because she couldn't be flawed. Even now she afraid of what it meant to make a mistake. One little thing any her immortality goes crumbling. Her father used to punish her for all the "human" things she did and after he was gone Azula was still flinching. She felt so irreparably damaged. Instinctually burdened to be perfect and thusly not so.

How is it that others can live so burden free? Azula would look at all the common people around her and see how happy they were and wonder if she doing the wrong thing after all. Azula was a rational being. She made decisions based on what will be the most beneficial to her at the time. That's the only logical thing to do. Yet she still simmers in this pot of perpetual discontent while others who plan nothing and just move with their limbs' instinct smile like idiots.

There is something wrong with a world that works so illogically. Azula tried and tried and tried but just couldn't figure it out. Why was she the only one missing something? Out of all the goddamn people on the whole goddamn planet why was she the only one who doesn't get it? It was like she couldn't even pin point the problem. It was like two pictures side by side, something's different, but what the hell is it?

Azula didn't understand exactly what about her was so flawed but she knew that nothing tasted sweeter than the word "mistake" at that very moment. She wanted so desperately to believe that a little part of her wasn't trying to brand and claim all the things she touched that she was willing to be human for the sake of it. She didn't want Ty Lee to get hurt, and if Azula was incapable of doing anything but harm those around her, she didn't want Ty Lee to be any where near her.

"Ty?" Azula began uncertainly. She'd never really done this before. "I'm sorry… I think." Azula let her fingers trace up and down the rough texture of the gauze. "I'm not sure whether or not I meant to hurt you but… I know that I don't like that you're hurt now. It was a mistake and I'm sorry it happened, but I can't say that I didn't do it on purpose or that it'll never happen again."

Ty Lee giggled sweetly up against the back of Azula's head. "Don't be an idiot." She mumbled sweetly. "Your idea of 'on purpose' is strange. People know when they do something on purpose. I think it's part of the definition."

"Regardless, I'm sorry I hurt you. It makes me feel awful" Azula pulled away from Ty Lee to turn and face her. She steeled herself. "I know that much for certain."

"Psssh." Ty Lee shrugged her off with a grin. "Already forgot about the whole thing. Doesn't even hurt at all." Ty Lee waved her injured arm and poked at it to demonstrate. "But hey I bet you're excited!"

Excited what the hell did she have to be excited about? Azula was obviously unstable and not to be trusted with her own body. It was a wreaking havoc on her nerves to worry about things happening without her consent all around her. Why, she could die any day, be murder on the streets by a stranger and nothing would stop it. Azula's neat and tidied planned world was becoming more and more chaotic by the second and she didn't like it at all. In fact she'd like being alive much better if she could curl up in her room and never see the light of day. Ty Lee could stay with her too. It'd be like being at their lake chalet all over again.

"Ah, yes, Azula. It's a blessing isn't it?" Uncle's gravelly voice intoned suddenly making both girls jump. Why had she forgotten they were in the middle of a crowded kitchen? "You must have found whatever answer you were looking for to have your bending come back so suddenly. I'm very happy for you."

Azula bowed her head slightly. It was strange how quickly her priorities had changed. Fire bending used to be her life and now she just brushed it of so easily. All that night she hadn't been thinking about being able to fire bend at all. The only thing on her mind was Ty Lee and the burn on her forearm. It hadn't really hit her that fire bending had anything to do with it.

Stranger still she wasn't even sure she was happy to have her fire bending back. Would she have to be careful always? What if she ended up hurting Ty Lee again without even realizing it? There wasn't really any use for fire bending in the life she was living now other than to warm herself so light a burner or two. It was a nice little edge to have with her when walking the streets at night but other than that.

Uhgh. How pathetic. Azula was a fire bender. Nothing else about it.

"I honestly don't know anymore, Uncle. I wasn't even aware that there was a question." Azula shook her head. "Frankly I don't believe much in your talk of souls and chi anyway."

"I meant to say that I'm glad you found a new source for your bending." Her uncle moved towards her to place a fat hand on her arm. "In that instant that you regained your ability to fire bend I'm sure that you found it. Life is much easier when we know what motivates us."

Azula flickered her eyes to Ty Lee who only looked back sweetly, with large unassuming eyes. That girl was all that Azula had been thinking about when she began to fire bend. She was thinking about how maybe she loved Ty Lee and how much she just wanted to please her.

Was that it? The source of her fire bending, the strong motivating purpose behind that raw energy was Ty Lee? No, not Ty Lee, but how she felt about her.

Before Azula drew all her strength from wanting to please her father who always asked for so much. The more she wanted the more strength she had. Maybe the reason her fire bending had left her so long ago was because she lost that desire. When she arrived in Ba Sing Se she had been so sure that she would just jump back into the game and find a way to free her father or take back the Fire Nation. After a long while she simply resented him.

Before all of Azula's thoughts had been about her father or herself now she thought about Ty Lee constantly. She felt for Ty Lee. Azula felt fondness and liking and attachment and endearment toward Ty Lee. She didn't much like putting names to what was actually going on in her heart and head because it was just a feeling, an ache, as constant as the hair on her head or the skin on her bones. It didn't say it's name when it arrived and started plucking at her every day. It just was. And they just were.

Azula scratched her head. She never liked thinking about how she felt about Ty Lee.

"We should throw a party." Ty Lee squeaked in an excited voice. " Hmm… 'The Azula Gets Back Her Bending Extravaganza'! Yeah? I like it."

"I can make some cake and sweet tea." Uncle muttered gleefully.

"Oh and I'll make those strawberry candies you like so much, 'Zula." Ty Lee nodded resolutely, "As long as you promise to stay out of the kitchen. No offence."

Uncle shook his head sadly, "It is such a shame neither my niece or nephew share my flare for the culinary arts. It's okay I still love them both."

"Yeah we still love you 'Zula."


	50. The Nightmare

**A/N:** Happy TyZula week every body! Another short update. They always seem longer when I'm writing them.

I've analyzed my plans for this story and reread it, and have decided to make a few changes to my original plan. I mentioned a while ago that this fic was going to go up about until 60 chapters, but I've decided to amend that. Azula has gotten where I wanted her to be mentally much faster than I planned, making the final story arc seem tedious and unnecessary. So I cut it from the plan.

We're going to have about 3 more chapters then this fic is done, according to the new plan. I still may change my mind though.

* * *

**Chapter 50**

She was slipping into some sort of oblivion. It was a peaceful place filled with alternating states of numbness and a sweet hapless bliss. It wasn't something she'd call happy or content even. It was pure pleasant exhilaration- a high on pleasure to the senses.

Stuck as she was Azula had hardly a moment to think. In her childhood it was all she ever did, but with Ty Lee dragging her about with her infectious zest for life there wasn't any time to think, only to experience and feel.

It was strange to have a day laid out in memories rather than ink and task lists. It was strange and nice.

Azula really wasn't one to ever admit to any wrong doings- any mistakes. She simply didn't make them. To admit to a mistake was to admit weakness. Maybe it isn't so much she'd made so long ago by planning her every minute and banking her existence on those who couldn't be trusted. It had worked then. It was the best way to survive then.

The world changes, therefore, the best way to stay ahead of the game is to change as well. You can't win at euchre when you're still playing gin.

And the game was truly changing whether Azula liked it or not. There were new government, new laws, and new rebellions. Stranger yet, within this strange new game she hadn't had a twinge of motivation to sink her teeth into the adjusting political sphere. This time she played for different motives.

It was strange to be so invested into one person. Azula felt like a child, a _teenager_, obsessed with the promise of love and happily ever after. All of her desires revolved around Ty Lee. All of her aspirations involved Ty Lee. Every single thought and plan for the future prominently featured her. It was very unlike Azula to be so sentimental and short-sighted, but she hardly cared at all. Her head was full of raindrops, love songs, and poisonous yellow daffodils.

Logic failed to measure up to the advantages that this love, or whatever it was, could give her.

It got late so quickly every day with Ty Lee there. Moments melted like ice, and she couldn't get enough.

"Azu~la?" Ty Lee sing-songed, her voice hushed against the darkness and Uncle's nearby snores. "You awake?"

Azula turned toward her quickly than she should have and feigned annoyance. "I am now."

Ty Lee's teeth glinted across the space between their twin futons. She started to shift a little closer. "You know Uncle's sound asleep over there, snoring like a baby. Or a lumberjack."

"I've noticed." Azula sighed. They'd had this same conversation nearly every night now. Why she still even bothered to ask was a mystery.

"So…" Ty Lee started snuggling in close, "Wanna fool around?"

"Suave." Azula couldn't help but laugh a little.

Ty Lee grinned sweetly flipping a leg over Azula's middle and rising to straddle her. "I'll take that as a yes."

"More like get your own place and then we'll talk." Azula coughed slightly and turned away still making no move to distance herself from Ty Lee. "Slut."

On cue Ty Lee lightly pecked Azula's lips. "Nah, I just love you lots." Ty Lee bit lightly on Azula's shoulder and neck in a blatantly annoying fashion for a moment, even bothering to add childish sound effects. "I could just eat you all up."

"You're absolutely absurd." Azula scoffed.

"And you," _poke. _"Are a prude." Ty Lee stuck out her tongue, then giggled gently and swayed side to side.

It's not that she didn't want to do _that. _In fact she quite enjoyed doing _that._ But even if Ty Lee was crass enough to do _that _with some old man sleeping merely yards away, Azula was not.

"Pfft. Fine." Ty Lee entoned. After a few long moments of silence, she collapsed heavily on top of Azula with a little laugh.

Silence…

"What are you thinking." Ty Lee squeeked.

For the love of… "I'm thinking 'Boy, Ty Lee sure could stand to lose some weight, she's getting awefully heavy. She'd better get off of me before I'm seriously injured."

"Well… I was thinking 'Azula's warm! I wish I could have her right by my side every night , but she won't let me share her futon." Ty Lee murmured into Azula's hair in a mock display of innocence.

"Yeah, I'll bet." Azula snarled.

"I was!"

There was a knock at the door.

Then another.

Then another.

Azula sprung into action immediately and with strength she didn't even know she possessed shoved Ty Lee off of her and away in one quick frantic movement. She didn't even spare a look to Ty Lee afterwards just feigned sleep and ignored her huffing and puffing.

Azula's first thoughts at hearing the knocking weren't over who would be at the door while they were trying to sleep or what the hell they could possibly want. Immediately all of her attention turned to getting Ty Lee off of her and into the other futon before Uncle saw anything. She couldn't let anyone she them as they were. She just couldn't. What would they think? There would be questions and talking and other tortures.

They stayed still through another long set of much louder knocks before Uncle's heavy footsteps could be heard padding across the floor of their shared bedroom and around to the main door of the apartment.

Azula sat up looking tired. It was only reasonable that something loud enough to wake Uncle would wake her as well. Ty Lee followed Azula's lead only doing a much less convincing job and giving Azula a dirty look.

At the front of the apartment sounds could be heard. Shuffling, clicking, mumbling. And then voices.

"Ah, what a pleasant surprise. I must still be dreaming." Uncle entoned heartily. There was more shuffling and grumbling sounds.

Like curious little children Azula and Ty Lee puttered across the room to get a good look at who ever was greeting him at this hour.

"How are you? Are you doing well? Have you been eating? You don't look like you've been eating very well. I keep telling you a happy stomach makes for a sound mind." Uncle mumbled again, still his voice was perked and playful. He sounded genuinely happy. Happy like Azula had hardly heard him before.

"I'm fine, Uncle. I eat every day. Sometimes twice." It spoke in that dry whinny little voice.

Azula doubled back instantly at the sound. There was no thought involved simply raw instinct. Fight or flight, and she flittered away before even having to look at the culprit. She knew that voice any where. She dreamed about it over and over again. She dreamed about him laughing and pointing at her. She dreamed about him killing her. The little bitch.

Zuko in the middle of the night like a nightmare, but no matter how hard she tried this time she just couldn't wake up.


	51. The Selfish

**A/N:** I know, it's been forever. I'm bad. But I'm here now. Just know I plan on finishing this thing. We've gone too far to stop now! I mean… 100,000 word mark today! That's like my dream of dreams.

Beware of dramatic monologue. And unchecked grammar. Yeah.

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**Chapter 51**

Azula was surprised at how much Zuko had begun to look like their father. His face seemed longer, his cheekbones, nose, and chin sharper… stronger. That flustered pouting face that always edged on the corner of her mind it seemed was completely gone now. Somehow Azula expected that the next time she'd lay eyes on him he'd be like he was in their childhood. She expected girlish whining and naïve slow blinks. She wanted that. Instead she got another childhood face.

There was something else- something beyond the constraints of simple maturity and genetics that linked them so implicitly in her mind. It wasn't the long pompous robes of a Fire Lord, his now much longer hair, or even the supposed "je ne sais quoi" of his post. It was more in the way his already thin lips were stretched thinner, the matte look of make-up beneath his drawn and squinting eyes, and the way his breathing shallowed as if he were sleeping.

He looked tired.

It must be a lot of work being Fire Lord, especially a "just" one. Papers to sign, angry citizens to sate. Azula had heard that unsurprisingly the Fire Nation was on the brink of a civil war. People looked to their former beloved leader looked away in prison then balked at the men who put him there. There were factions forming, rumors of assassination attempts, and even rouge governors within the Fire Nation who burned nationwide decrees in front of applauding civilians.

Azula had always seen her brother like some sniveling little girl. He was _sensitive. _He couldn't handle being pushed too hard. A man like him wasn't built to handle the pressures of leadership. At the first roadblock he'd run crying to Mai and ask her to make it all better. _But_… their father had always looked just as tired and was always just as burdened maybe even more so.

That _man_ in front of her didn't look like the _boy _she recognized as her brother. They'd never gotten to see one another grow up and were both caught in their childish expectations of one another. Azula expected her little Zuzu to run crying into the corner, and well she could only assume Zuko expected her to be everything she was as a child. He was her brother and he knew nothing about her past the age of eleven.

Zuko's meandering eyes scammed the apartment with scrutiny, making how pointedly he avoided look any where near Azula all the more prominent. He complimented the way the main room had been moved around since last he'd been their, told Ty Lee he liked the way she was wearing her hair, and hugged their Uncle more times than explicitly necessary. All things to make it seem more and more like he didn't want to talk to Azula.

Inevitably Zuko's beady little eyes landed on her. His cheery talkative demeanor faded into a sheepish half smile that Azula had seen a million times before.

"You look like Mother." He stated simply.

Azula laughed before she could stop herself. "You look like Father."

Her voice sounded oozy and warm in her ears. She was mad at Zuko wasn't she? She hated him! He single-handedly destroyed all of her hopes and dreams. Why then couldn't she summon the anger she was supposed to be feeling?

Zuko stepped closer to her, his arms spread wide unconsciously baring his palms on hands that looked knobby and decrepit. He looked passive as always. Sweet, peaceful, and effeminate.

"How are…you know, things?" he muttered breathily. Always such uncertainty and awkwardness in his voice- especially when talking to her. It's like her expected her to bite him.

Azula was about to say "How the hell to you think things are?" when Ty Lee's warm little fingers locked into her own with a gentle squeeze drawing her attention away immediately. Azula's brain immediately switched gears. Things were awkward enough without them having to have _that _conversation.

She jerked her hand away from Ty Lee a little too forcefully in a reflexive panic causing her to stumble on her feet and almost fall flat on her face in front of everyone.

"Things are great!" Uncle interjected amongst the clatter laying a wide palm on Azula's back. "My niece is a little worker bee. Sun up to sun down. I've never had such clean counter tops or orderly cabinets. Even does all my taxes. Can't cook or make tea, of course, but neither could you."

"What? You always said you liked my tea." Zuko stuttered breaking the long strange stare he had fixed on Azula. "You called me the best tea-maker in the shop."

"Oh? Well, it must be true then." Uncle smiled a big cheesy grin. "Forget what I said."

Mai rolled her eyes, and sat impassive manner at their rickety wooden table, propping her head up on her elbows. "No, it's true. Your tea tastes like ash." She held a long stare with Zuko like a playful kitten with her claws out, before turning nonchalantly to Uncle. "It'd be nice if you could make us something, Iroh. That is if you don't mind."

"Ooohhh!" Ty Lee wiggled happily. "Wouldn't orange blossom tea be just perfect?"

"Ah, Miss Ty Lee, I believe you're right." He nodded to her in a conspiratory manner as they scuttled off to browse through Uncle's endless cabinets of tea ingredients.

That left Azula alone with Zuko and Mai. Out of all the people in the would she could only think of one she would want to be with _less_, no matter how nicely those two were playing their cordial games.

Zuko and Azula sat down in quick order after Mai sent them a withering glance that did more than ordering them ever could. Zuko sat huddled impossibly close to her on one side and Azula tried to center herself on the other. Everything was dead silent. No one wanted to be the first one to talk. It was nice when they had Iroh and Ty Lee there. They were talkative.

Azula wondered what it was like when they had dinner at the palace- two drab and silent people like Mai and Zuko. Maybe they'd talk about politics or the latest gossip around the noble circles. Maybe they'd chew their food to the sounds of large bowled spoons clinking at the bottom of soup bowls and the hard snap of pure ivory chopsticks. That's how it'd been long ago when her family had eaten dinner together. Of course their father hadn't been Fire Lord then.

It occurred to her that Mai and Zuko probably didn't have dinner together _ever_. Azula, Ty Lee, and Uncle spent almost every meal huddled around the same small table. Ty Lee would steal off of everyone's plates, Azula would pretend it bothered her and meticulously separate every different food into sections on her plate, and Uncle would eat like a horse pausing every once and a while to enjoy a cup of tea the way only he knows how.

Of course, the three of them had nothing but time. Zuko had meetings and papers and endless amounts of official _things _to handle day-in and day-out. Having a nice little dinner with his fiancée would have been out of the question. Being Fire Lord means that your main responsibility is to the Fire Nation. Being a human being comes second. Doing what he wants comes second.

A long time ago the only thing Azula wanted was to become Fire Lord. As early as she could remember that goal had been instilled into her brain. But she wanted other things too. She wanted to sleep in on Sundays, take her time eating a slice of delicious raspberry angel food cake, and maybe even read a book every once and a while. Most of all she just wanted to lounge around with Ty Lee when in was cold out, or waste hours in bed with her half-naked and just talking about silly things.

Azula wondered about Mai and Zuko. She wondered about what kind of idiotic martyr he was trying to be. Wasn't he supposed to care about Mai? Didn't he want to be around he always? How could he be happy?

"I'm glad I never became Fire Lord." Azula's voice sliced through the silence and awkwardness like a knife. Her eyes became sharp and haughty as she scanned over Zuko's stunned face.

Azula's palm itched. Her mouth felt dry. She felt wrong and right all mixed up in a ball.

"At the time-" She cleared her throat. "At the time I thought it was the only thing I could do. I thought I would be a wonderful Ruler, and the power would feel great. But I'm selfish. I have no misconceptions about that. And I think that as Fire Lord you- _Zuko_- will be very unhappy. You'll never get to see your wife or children, things will constantly be demanded of you, and you'll die with nothing but a name.

"I used to think that would be a good thing." Azula's mouth was moving without her now. As soon as the thought appeared in her head it was coming out of her mouth, surprising even her. "If you have no name, if you've done nothing at all, then how do you know that you've even existed? Life shouldn't be measured in leaps and bounds- it shouldn't be about where you were when you died. Life is only life if it's lived personally. It's only life if you collect all the human things- all the love and happiness and torment and become something more- something inexplicable and divine and just… human."

Azula laughed smoothly. Her head felt light, her mind felt clear. She felt electric, for days, for months, just on fire. What point was there in trying to be anything else? She liked her self, and Ty Lee, and even Uncle some of the time. This was heaven. This was what she wanted. Being some famous lord seemed so small in comparison. Sometimes things didn't have to be so incredibly complicated. Some times life was apple butter and bagels, sweet bread and candy.

"I want to be- I want to exist _now_, not when I'm dead. I don't want to do great things. I don't want to help people. I want to feel and scream and curse it all." Azula said finally as she threw her head back to look at the ceiling with a wistful sense of awe. "I want… to be happy."


	52. The Power Play

**A/N:** Second to last chapter. Maybe. It depends on whether or not the next chapter ends. Sometimes the fic doesn't do what I want it to. This chapter's kind longer than usual, and no real fluff. I intend to make up for that next chapter though. This is just random sibling bonding.

* * *

**Chapter 52**

Zuko was beginning to possess the sage-like qualities of their Uncle- in appearance only. He had a distasteful tendency to simply nod at the end of a conversation or add a very few choice words like a racing man at yelling at the ostrich horses as they ran. "That's right." He'd say. Or "I agree completely." Sometimes he'd just venture her a knowing stare as if expecting his sister to blurt out some deep dark secret under all of her blasé exterior. He was behaving as if he knew something about her that she wasn't saying. He was... suspicious of her.

Simple little Zuko always got it wrong. He trusted her implicitly when he shouldn't and looked for hidden lies when there were none. He never had any sense for a person's character, never any logic beyond the immediately obvious. He was so stupid and small. Azula was ashamed to be related to him sometimes.

"I suppose you expect me to say something to you." Azula licked her lips deftly. Her brother had been giving her some "knowing" look for nearly half an hour. Only now Ty Lee and Mai were in the other room chatting and laughing like the swell old friends they were and Uncle had excused himself to go back to back. He was old after all. Azula and Zuko sat alone at the table with little cups of tea in front of them. Camomile, just like when they were little. Uncle was always fond of saying "For temperament and spirit the finest camomile, and trust me you kids need it." Neither Zuko or Azula were very fond of tea but they drank it now just as they did then.

Zuko looked at her with a glib half smile. He always looked so creepy when he smile, like it wasn't natural to his face. "I really don't know what to expect from you at this point, Azula."

"Fire balls, massive terror," Azula never over-emphatically rose an eyebrow. "Espionage..."

He took a smug drink, "But that's not _you_ anymore, right?"

Azula smiled as "sweetly" as she could manage. "No, that's me. Always has been, always will be. I just really don't give a damn about anything _you _do, brother. It seems so trite, as inept as you are."

His expression soured for a moment then rebounded just as fast. Zuko always got upset at everything. He was moody and overemotional like a little girl. Still it made Azula proud that her older brother still held so much stock in her dim opinion of him. He was probably going to cry momma Mai a river tonight.

"So," Zuko cleared his throat, trying to change the subject away from his own ineptitude and onto hers. "I hear you can't make a cup of tea to save your life."

Azula scoffed "Please cooking and tea-making are for women, like Uncle and Ty Lee I handle the finances _flawlessly._"

"I'm sure you do. You were always good at math and pointless subjects like that. I guess you think your psychotic-" He paused and rephrased himself, "anal cleaning tendencies are very masculine."

"Order is not something that should be taken lightly, Zuko." Azula snapped.

"Freedom is infinitely more important than order." Zuko snapped back, his eyes drawn in resembling to the tight little slits of a snake. Like he knew anything. "Anyway, what are you going to do when you live on your own? Eat out of garage bins every night? You have to learn how to cook eventually."

"I'll just get a wife to do those things for me." Azula rolled her eyes. Still there was a small spark in her that had a fearful little glimmer of excitement when he'd said "_when_ you live on your own." Regardless of what ever he was saying Zuko was considering letting her out of her strange little probation. He was going to give her his all important "freedom".

The problem was she wasn't sure if she wanted it. For the entirety of her life Azula had never been free. She'd never lived by herself, gotten a job of her own volition, or even made a meal with her own two hands. It was scary thinking about all of the possibilities out there and little her unaccustomed to it all. The most terrifying thing however was simply the thought of being left alone with her thoughts. Azula didn't want to lose control of her reality like she had before. She needed others to make sure what ever she was seeing was real.

The future, or at least the far future wasn't something Azula really thought about. Would she really be working at a tea shop her entire life? Would she go back to the Fire Nation if granted "permission"? Would she and Ty Lee still see each other like they did now? It was always prudent to have a plan, to be working towards something, but Azula didn't have any thing beyond whatever instant she was in. She was flying blind.

Even Ty Lee had a vague idea of what she wanted her future to be. She wanted to "ride the waves" and have children- things that she definitely couldn't do with Azula. Relying so much on someone who wanted things that would eventually lead them apart wasn't healthy for her. Over and over she kept telling herself that she needed to find her own destiny, but as far as she could look into the future everything was blank. She no longer had any hopes and dreams.

Sometimes she thought she might go to the University of Ba Sing Se, just to learn something, to gather skills and open her options more and more. Other times she figured she would just inherit the tea shop when Uncle died and live a simple existence on tea and anecdotes from old people. Ty Lee said she wanted them to go travel the world. That might be nice too. Azula had always wanted to see at least one of the water tribes and maybe even the air temples.

Azula had the vague idea that she had to _do _something. If she just let things continue the way they were going she ran the risk of becoming an old lady with 50 cats. She didn't even like cats. They were bothersome and pointless like all animals, people included.

"Zuko?" Azula interrupted whatever her brother had been prattling on about. She hadn't been listening any way. "Do you remember the kitten we had when we were really little?"

"Yeah, I remember it. It was mine. I found it. But you liked it so I gave it to you. Mom made me." Zuko's lips quirked involuntarily. "What was it's name? Something ridiculous like Snowball."

"Snowflake." Azula corrected.

"I knew it was something snowy. You wanted to live in an igloo where it snowed all the time, because you were afraid of lightning." He rolled his eyes. "You said it was coming to get you."

"And I'd sneak into your bed at night until Father found out and made me stop." Azula lowered her eyes. "I was always so afraid of what would happen when I was alone. Loud things just make it worse- And I was afraid of lightning because father was always so fast and loose with it. I almost got hit dozens of times... and I was five!"

"You don't have to justify yourself. It was cute." Zuko smiled deviously.

"I never was and never will be cute!" She seethed.

The same half mischievous half warm smile stayed on his face. He took the last drink out of his tea-cup with a satisfied sound. "Whatever happened to, uh... Snowflake anyway? Was he smart enough to run away from you?"

"No," Azula smiled a disinterested smile. "Father snapped his neck, like this." She demonstrated casually with her fingers. "He said its unhealthy to form attachments to weak things like animals or_ you._"

"What?" Zuko started. "When did this happen? Did he do that in front of you?"

"Yes," Azula nodded cooly.

People and their melodrama. Azula could tell him stories a million times worse than a dead kitten. She could tell him horrifying things, illegal things. Then again Zuko may care more about some cute little kitty than his own diabolic little sister. She wasn't as innocent.

"Geez," Zuko brushed at his uncooperative hair. "That's awful. _He's_ awful."

"I don't like cats any way." Azula shrugged. "I wouldn't trust an animal not to eat me in my sleep."

Zuko looked at her for a long moment with an imploring expression on his face. He'd softened so quickly. It was a flaw of Zuko's that he still remembered her as a little child, as his baby sister. Azula would never understand the strange protective bond he continually was trying to forge with her. If anything he needed the protection. She wasn't some little girl crying at a lightning storm any more. She was strong. She could hurt him.

"Do you want to know why I let you out of the mental hospital? Why I didn't let Aang take away your bending when everyone else thought that it was a good idea?" Zuko's sharp golden eyes locked onto her hers in an intense almost _caring _stare.

Azula jerked slightly. Mental hospital... She hated that word. It made it sound as though she were broken and weak, someone to take care of, instead of what she really was, a prisoner of war. It was in reality a prison with all it's fineries and doctors, just as Ba Sing Se was like a prison to her now. She had no freedom...

Azula nodded.

"I see myself in you sometimes." Zuko laughed as if it were absurd. "I mean sure we each have our own strengths and weaknesses, but we were born the same, we had the same choices and opportunities- the same diverging path. I could have ended up where you are now. And I know it's not your fault or my fault that things happened the way they did. It's his fault. It's father's fault everything is so messed up. It always will be."

"I know." She said slowly. It was a hard admission that her father wasn't out for her best interests, but it had been hard for Zuko too and he'd done it. Her quick tongue wanted to changing her mind was wishy-washy. But she knew and Zuko knew it was a very hard thing to do. Zuko would always be the only one who really knew how hard it really was.

"That's good." He said looking soft and almost pleasant. "It took me a long time to realize that. I hurt a lot of people and did things I'm not proud of. I still do things I'm not proud of. But no more of that! The past is the past and the future is the future."

Azula smirked, "How very zen of you, Zuzu."

"I am superbly zen." He deadpanned.

"Still can't bend lightning, though. Am I right?" Azula smiled wickedly, "It requires peace of mind, you know."

Zuko gave a devious smirk back, "I heard you lost your bending."

Azula's grin faded. Who had been talking to him about _that_?

"Winter's are cold here." She quipped quickly, trying to convince herself as much as him. "I wasn't prepared."

"You know as well as I do that its possible to bend in cold weather," He shook his head, "If you think it's cold here try going to the North Pole in the middle of winter. I almost died. I could still fire bend though. It was in summer, at the Western Air Temple that I lost my bending."

Azula's eyes lit slightly. It somehow made her feel better knowing that at one point Zuko had lost his bending as well. Maybe it was a more common experience than she'd been led to believe. Maybe she wasn't as indecisive and unmotivated as Uncle had led her to believe.

"Your impotence is simply fascinating, please continue." Azula mouthed defensively.

Zuko gave her a wary look but abided nonetheless. "My whole goal in life up to that point had been to capture the Avatar. It consumed me, it became me, for so long that when I no longer had that motivation I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to make the new things that were important to me replace that source for fire bending." He paused for a moment, "It was... embarrassing."

"Thank you, _dear_, for sharing," Azula couldn't help but grin at his mushiness. "But I've gotten my bending back now so there is no problem. Did your little spy tell you that? I don't know how the hell I lost it or how I managed to get it back. Doesn't matter I guess. I'm as perfect now as ever."

"You can't just not know." Zuko rolled his eyes for the thousandth time. "What did you think about to make it come back? You've got to at least know what you were thinking then, don't you?

Azula had been kissing Ty Lee when she regained her fire bending. Any thought she was thinking at the time had to have been about her. She had been _feeling _so incredible and complete at that time. She'd never felt so good. Uncle had said that she needed to find a new motivation or whatever behind her bending. As in all aspects of her life recently Ty Lee was the motivation. But she wasn't going to tell _him_ that.

Ty Lee was special. She always had been. She was everything Azula always admired but never really was herself. She was the only thing in the world that made Azula feel anything other than never ending numbness. That feeling, what ever it was, was the only way her fire bending could manifest it self, she supposed. It was only rational.

"It's... personal." Azula replied with as little suspiciousness as she could manage. Just with that she was certain Zuko was imagining her murdering peasants for fun or something equally as devious. Still he didn't raise an eyebrow or anything.

"You've finished your tea?" Zuko asked quietly, politely. "I can go get us more, unless you're too tired."

Azula looked down at the empty cup. She hadn't even noticed that she'd been drinking it- all of her "good temperament and spirit" seeped in without her even noticing. Her reflection stared back distorted and long, almost like Zuko with his small eyes and pointlessly long, sharp face. Still when she looked up to see her brother his face didn't resemble that image she'd seen at all. She was always forgetting about his sorry excuse for a beard and how smooth and shiny his hair looked now that he wasn't bathing in spring. He'd changed and she'd changed.

Zuko looked back at her calmly with a patience that had never been very like him- and strength and confidence, more words that she never thought she'd associate with her girlish and scared brother. Maybe it was how similar he was styled to her father that made her think that way, she didn't know.

"Sure." Azula whispered. Her eyes locked with her brother's. "More tea."

Why not let him prattle on and on about pointless stuff. She could always use it to make fun of him later.


	53. The End

**A/N**: And The Melancholy of Azula and Ty Lee comes to an end. I tried to stay with the simple theme of this Fanfiction and make the last chapter in a fic about nothing about, well… nothing. Honestly that was the point of this whole thing. I wanted to write an easy read with a happy ending. Not too much drama. Azula has had enough drama in her life don't you think?

I should have said this much, much earlier, but the title "White Cherry Women", has absolutely no meaning. I thought it sounded pretty and cute and thought it would be perfect for a piece of fiction that wasn't supposed to have any meaning other than, ya know, pretty and cute. I got a little carried away and this fic ended up meaning a lot, at least to me, and hopefully to a lot of you.

It's been a ride, I gotta tell you. All and all a great experience but hard as hell. You know how many times I had to ban myself from the internet just to finish a chapter? Oh, well.

I'm sure their are some ends I totally forgot to tie up. Like Mai and Zuko get married and live happily ever after or what ever the hell Azula does with her life. But the whole point of this fic was teaching her that stuff doesn't really matter so much so I'm not going to get into what happens physically. Oh, one of the things was how Azula consistently says she was in prison while everything else says mental hospital. That's not a mistake, she's just being snotty.

Yada, yada, yada. Please tell me if I totally left a big nagging question out there. If I think it's big enough I may have to either correct or write an epilogue.

Um, well, enjoy. Beware of massive amounts of fluff.

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**Chapter 53**

Azula never really believed in love, but was tortured by it everyday. As a child she craved it instinctually. Her days were spent trying to please her parents, and her father above all else when he hadn't any love to give her. They were so alike, Azula and Ozai. They were guarded, analytical, ambitious, and proud. Things like emotions or feelings didn't fit into this persona. Never the less Ozai had loved his soft-hearted wife and Azula had loved him without restraint.

If anything, caring so devotedly to her father, taught Azula that nothing good could come from caring for someone. His only flaw was that he cared for her mother so much that he let her into his home to corrupt his children and defy him openly. He loved Ursa like a fool, and she destroyed everything. Ozai had raged for days after she left. Azula had always thought that was the only way a relationship could end, bitterness, deceit, and heartache. She was proven right when her father tossed her aside, used and broken, so he could peruse his own means.

Azula raged. She was so very like her father after-all. So much of her life was spent trying to please him and trying to earn his love and respect and he would never give it to her. She was perfect. She _was_. It didn't matter though. He could never love her. He'd given up on loving anything a long time ago.

Then if he wouldn't love, neither would she. Caring about someone could only end one way and Azula didn't want the trouble. She could only count on herself and no one else. Still it seemed like it took ages to let go of him and accept that he would never need her the way she so desperately needed him. Even to the present she felt like somewhere deep within her self she needed to hear him tell her that he was proud of who she'd become. Azula knew he never would.

If Ozai could look on her now laying lazily on her newly acquired bed in the Earth Kingdom Palace, naked and vulnerable, with a woman of all creatures, he'd probably have beaten her half way to her death. If he could hear the thought in her head, he'd have finished the job. _Homosexual _relationships regardless of moral applications were less than average, they were subpar, they were not preferable. His daughter should be better than everyone at all things.

If he could forgive her that, there was still the matter of her lying awake in bed. Time should always be used productively. Azula should be planning, this time spent sedentary could be used on numerous life-changing ideas. She had such a mind, it would be more than reasonable that she could change the world with it. Not to mention how much training she could do.

Then her thoughts, they were the worst of all. Sometimes still Azula flinched when thoughts critizing her father ran through her mind. A good daughter wouldn't even think against her lord. She believed in him until death. Ozai would think her soft and _female _if he knew how quickly she'd abandon him and everything he'd taught her for the sake of what? A girl? Not only were her thoughts blasphemous they were also things he would deem girlish and emotional. Thoughts about love? Thoughts about intimacy? He would've laughed for days.

What an ideal progeny she'd turned out to be.

Still she couldn't ignore the existence of her father all together. He made Azula every thing she was. Without him she wouldn't have been so shrewd, or intelligent, or powerful. Ozai taught her that she could rule the world with her little finger, that she was worthy or anything and everything, and he made her think she could be as good or better than any man at anything. She would always be grateful for those things. She would always be those things.

He also taught her to fear, to hate, to be suspicious, to subjugate, and even to kill. You can't just unlearn such things. They would always be inside of her. She would always be… evil.

It seemed remarkable that at the heart of all this pain was just the simple desire for a child to attain her father's love. If love could do all that then what was the point of ever loving again? Just another thing Ozai had inadvertently taught her.

If only it were that easy. If only she could just turn her heart, her soul, her body, off and let her brain take over, all of Azula's theories and calculations could prevail. She'd be alone forever more and never get hurt again. Her father had managed it somehow. It didn't suit him well.

There are no right answers. It's pointless to try. But amidst all the meandering thoughts in her head lay some irrefutable truths. First that her father had never been healthy for her even if some miracle he had some love for her. And second, even if the love Azula felt for her father was fading, even if their time together had ended in chaos and pain, that love had been born again with someone else.

So in a move to become very unlike her beloved and hated father Azula opened her mouth in that quiet little guest room and said for the first time in her life "I love you." to a sweet and equally as lethargic Ty Lee.

"You do?" Ty Lee whispered back through the dark. Her dark eyes were glittering in the dull lamp light and the look on her face was so sweet and endearing it was almost painful to look at. They'd been laying in bed for quite a while now, on the edge of sleep and waking. Eyes locked on one another's intense gaze.

Azula smiled gently back, "Despite all of your inadequacies, yes. Somehow."

"I love you too." She squealed into her hands then flung them around Azula's shoulders. Her lips were wide in a bright smile. "Say it again! I want to hear you say it again. Please?"

Azula sighed emphatically. Somehow she'd found herself smiling just as much. "On your life." She paid a little kiss to the side of Ty Lee's neck. "I hope you have a good memory."

Ty Lee pouted adorably and pulled in tighter. She always had the sweetest, most entrancing way about her. Azula could say anything in the world to that pretty face and it wouldn't come out mean, and even if it did, Ty Lee would take it just the right way. It was one of those wonderful things about Ty Lee that no one could ever match up to.

"Hmm…" Ty Lee mumbled quietly to herself, moving from her tight embrace to look Azula more square on in the face. "You're gonna have to tell me why, or I won't believe you."

"Why what?" Azula squeaked in annoyance. That wasn't the way this was supposed to go. When you tell someone you love them they are supposed to want to make out and fool around. Ty Lee was not sticking to the program.

"Why you love me, silly!" Ty Lee squealed. Her fingers began to roam innocently around the bare skin on Azula's back an hips.

Was she supposed to have a reason? Azula always assumed attraction and caring was something inexplicable, in the biology or something. She loved her father because he was her father. She loved Ty Lee because she was just… Ty Lee.

No one else in the world but Ty Lee had ever been so kind and gracious to her. No one else understood her every motivation and cared about her no matter how many horrible things she said. No body else thought she was more beautiful than she was scary. Azula loved that Ty Lee was the sort of person who could find all of the good things about her and ignore all the bad.

Ty Lee was one of the most amazing people she'd ever met. She was good at all the things that Azula cold never grasp, like being nice to any one and everyone, making friends as if it were the easiest thing in the world, smiling when everything seemed awful, and making everything all right when everything was wrong. Azula loved all of those things about her but didn't know if that was why she loved her.

To say any one thing would be inaccurate. She loved everything about Ty Lee in way or another. Azula even loved it when she was annoying and childish, or when she'd make her do stupid things. Anything, even things she hated, when attached to Ty Lee became desirable. She was just a wonderful person, and even more than that she made Azula happy.

Her father had taught her never to love anything because that kind of trust would only come back as pain. She was the only one who could make herself happy, and throughout her life people would disappoint her and be shallow and dumb and shun her. Nobody would ever love the mess that was Azula so why should she grant them anything in return?

Ty Lee loved her despite everything. Azula kept telling herself that it could end badly and Ty Lee would someday disappoint her no matter how much she loved her now. But even if she did the time they are spending together now and the moments of pure happiness they have would be totally worth it. Because she went into that relationship almost an entirely different person. Loving someone is like taking them inside of you. Somethings stick. She took a little bit from all of Ty Lee's best qualities. Her forgiveness and kindness and trust and took them into her heart where they would never leave. In that way love is always worth it. No matter what her father or mother said or did. No matter what the horrors of her childhood were. Being with Ty Lee made her happy and better and she appreciated it immensely.

"Why do I love you?" Azula's lips formed those foreign words much easier than she thought she would. Still "I love you" echoed in her mind over and over again. It felt as if she'd said it much louder than she actually had.

Ty Lee nodded innocently.

"I love you because you're honest. Because your beautiful… Because you love me when it seems like such a feat." Azula whispered through her teeth with a tight smile. "I love you because you make me a better person."


End file.
